Making eye-contact when a loved one walks in the room

Last night I was watching Oprah. A guest spoke about changing his nonverbal behavior after hearing the author Toni' Morrisons ask, “What does your child see on your face when you he or she walks into the room on an Oprah episode. Steve, the guest on yesterday’s show is a father. He was inspired to change his nonverbal behavior. He made the conscious decision to put on a happy face every time his children walk into a room. "I thought, 'Wow, I could actually be hurting their feelings and not even [know] it,'" he says. "Aha! Your kids actually see the expressions on your face." He says. "I want them to see how proud [I am] that they're there—how much [I] love them."

There are two things that are important about this practice. One is that you make significant eye—contact with your loved one so that they feel, “seen” the other is that your face shows the joy you feel in seeing them enter the room. Let me talk about ‘Seeing” them in today’s blog. When I was sixteen I was, as I am now a voracious reader. I read a book by philosopher Eric Fromme on love called the “The Art of Loving." These many many years later I still remember how Fromme defined love as feeling seen. I remember thinking it would be that the person who loves you looks at you in way they makes you feel human and divine at the same time. That you wouldn’t feel invisible. As I grew up I realized that we often feel invisible in are love relationships with family or sweeties. So today, make real eye-contact with the people you love. See them for the wondrous people that they are.