What is Your Interpersonal Grade Point Average?
How do we become the people we are? How do we grow? How do we slide into bad attitudes and bad habits? Studying nonverbal communication all these years I have been fascinated with how other people’s energy affects us. One of my favorite aspects of nonverbal communication is Isopraxisim. Isopramism is phenomenon in nature that explains why animals pull toward the same energy. It explains why fish swim together in schools and birds fly together in formation, why we all do the stadium wave and laugh together at movies and I believe it explains how we become the people that we are. We are pulled into the energy of people in our lives.
I was reading an article the other day by the ezine queen she quoted Jim Rohn, one of Anthony Robbins first mentors. Jim says that, “You are the average of the five people you hang around with the most.” That just blows my mind. I think of all the awesome friends I have in my life and all the love I have from my family and I am so grateful. My top five (really my top fifteen) are such straight A’s that I am bound to get a great energy report card this year! They are happy people, who are loving and generous and love life! And most of them enjoy their work and all of them strive to be the best at what they do.
My mom says I came out of the womb laughing and smiling and I think I am blessed to be a positive person. Yet I think about times in my life were I chose to be with friends and sweeties that were not happy. I was the little motivational speaker smiling and full of Pollyanna, “Life is wonderful.” vibes, but that wasn’t true of my top five, I felt needed and bringing happiness to people who were not happy certainly filled a place in me. But, energetically it was very draining. And as all the positive energy was drained out of me the empty space filled up with negativity. When you soak up negatively you can’t absorb as much love. We are sponges for the energy of the people we spend the most time with. The people we watch and listen to over and over again become the nonverbal models for what is acceptable, normal behavior. We talk about how television violence is affecting our children, doesn’t it make sense that the people you talk with, eat with, play with and work along side will affect you?
Who are you choosing to be around the most? Are you working for someone that pulls up your average or drags it down? Does your boss treat you with respect and value your work? Do you respect him or her? Is your family bring you up and appreciative of the love you give to them? Do they run to the door when you come home to give you hugs and kisses or is your family’s energy pulling you down with their negativity and complaints? What about your friends and colleagues? Do their voices energize when they talk to you? Do they have loving relationships and jobs or other passions that make them feel alive? Are you riding high from your top fives nonverbal energy or are you being pulled to below C level? Now I will tell you I am a loyal friend and family member, and you know that everyone goes through down periods in their life but recent shifts in my life have made we realize we are not serving ourselves or the people in our lives if we let negative energy pull us down. I say in my programs that your life is full of choices. Who are you choosing to spend your time with? Who are your top five?