Fear of germs in the USA, anitbacterial liquid dispensers

I have a friend from Paris visiting me this weekend. Michael found out I wanted to start a body language discussion group and wanted me to start it today. So check out my Facebook group, Body Language Discussion Group. Since Michael arrived Friday, he has been fascinated by all the antibacterial liquid dispensers and signs about washing hands and other funny cleanliness issues in the States. We went to Wendy's today. I know, I know, I am taking him to all the hot spots in the U.S. (I need to explain that they don't have Wendy's in France and Michael worked at Wendy's in High School.) The Wendy's manager who was serving us said, "Thank you for washing your hands," to an employee returning from the restroom. Michael asked her about it and she said it is something they have to say so the customers know the employees wash their hands. He simply could not figure out why we are so germ conscious. I said it was marketing by the companies that make all the germ-fighting products. I shared with him my experiences with people’s fear of shaking hands that I have written about on my website and here on my blog. What do you think about our fear of germs in the U.S.? Do you think it is affecting our interactions? If you live in or travel to other countries what are the differences?

It is against the law to smile on your drivers license?


Is it against the Law to Smile on Your Driver’s License?


According to USA Today four states have adopted a 'no smiles' policy for driver's license photos. It turns out, if someone smiles it is hard for photo recognition software to match their faces with the photo records so they don't know whether someone is trying to fraudulently get a driver's license. I find it fascinating that the government can force people not to smile. If you have read my research and articles on smiling on my website http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=2570 or the chapter on smiling in my book, you know that you can use over eighty different facial muscles to smile and that we typically see it as a spreading and upturning of the lips. It makes sense that a smile would make a face on a driver's license hard to recognize. A smile changes the face significantly enough that it can be detected and recognized after three seconds from a great distance - 300 feet, or the length of a football field. Sounds incredible, doesn’t it? Our ancestors needed to smile.

Though they did not attend a lot of cocktail parties where they needed to smile and make small talk they did run into other cavemen they did not know. So they smiled as they approached a stranger to say, “I am harmless. Don’t pick up your spear and kill me.” In fact, it is the oldest form of expression to show a desire to cooperate. So even when the smile was a football field away, the caveman knew the approaching caveman (or woman) was safe and that he shouldn’t be afraid.

Some states say that smiling doesn't affect their photo recognition software, so it is still okay to smile in Pennsylvania though not in Illinois. If I had to spend winters in Chicago I wouldn't be smiling anyway. I realize that checking photos reduces fraud, but for some reason it does feel a little 1984 Big Brother is watching you scary to know that all those photos are checked. I think that in the future we will move to a system of multiple forms of photo ID and then to chips that store a video of us moving and talking for identification.
If you would like to read the entire news story, I've included it is below.

By Thomas Frank, USA TODAY
Stopping driver's license fraud is no laughing matter: Four states are ordering people to wipe the grins off their faces in their license photos.
"Neutral facial expressions" are required at departments of motor vehicles (DMVs) in Arkansas, Indiana, Nevada and Virginia. That means you can't smile, or smile very much. Other states may follow.

LICENSE FRAUD: States take steps to cut down fake IDs

The serious poses are urged by DMVs that have installed high-tech software that compares a new license photo with others that have already been shot. When a new photo seems to match an existing one, the software sends alarms that someone may be trying to assume another driver's identity.

But there's a wrinkle in the technology: a person's grin. Face-recognition software can fail to match two photos of the same person if facial expressions differ in each photo, says Carnegie Mellon University robotics professor Takeo Kanade.

FIND MORE STORIES IN: Carnegie Mellon University
Dull expressions "make the comparison process more accurate," says Karen Chappell, deputy commissioner of the Virginia DMV, whose no-smile policy took effect in March.

Elaine Mullen of Great Falls, Va., bristled at the policy while renewing her license until she heard the reasoning. "It's probably safer from a national-security point of view," she says.

Arkansas, Indiana and Nevada allow slight smiles. "You just can't grin really large," Arkansas driver services Chief Tonie Shields says.

A total of 31 states do computerized matching of driver's license photos and three others are considering it, says the American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators. Most say their software matches faces regardless of expressions. "People can smile here in Pennsylvania," state Transportation Department spokesman Craig Yetter says.

In Illinois, photo matching has stopped 6,000 people from getting fraudulent licenses since the technology was launched in 1999, says Beth Langen, the state head of Drivers Services.

Contributing: Drew FitzGerald, Marisol Bello


What do your sunglasses say about your personality?

In the last five years I have been doing research on body language and personality type including research as a national spokesperson for several products. I studied touch and personality for Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, chewing and personality for Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum and smiling and personality for the Natural Dentist line of products. A writer for iVillage.com asked me to share my analysis of sunglass choice and DISC personality. Here is what your sunglass choice says about you followed by more information about that DISC personality type.

What Your Sunglasses Say about You
DISC personality
By Patti Wood MA, CSP, Body Language Expert and Professional Speaker
The Amiable or Get Along. This personality type is most likely to wear modest sunglasses. They don’t mind being a little trendy, but only if the trend has been around a very long time. (Yes, in other words, so that it is almost out of style and everybody has a pair.) They want to wear the sunglasses that everybody is wearing once everybody has them.
This type of person wants to be your friend. They respond to heavy use of the word "you" and the promise of an ongoing relationship. They like warmhearted friendly conversations and a relaxed pace. Ask about their weekend and their kids before you ask for work from them. In fact, you should build relationship credits with them every week so when you really need them you have relationship credits to draw on when you are in dire straits. Also know a warm hello and a sincere thank you are as necessary as food and water to the Amiable. Amiable think carefully before taking any action and they don’t like change so you really need to talk them through any new projects or changes in old routines to get them to buy in and follow through otherwise they will keep doing it the old way or what they may consider the way that has “always worked before.” They need to feel a sense of security before moving forward. The best way to get work from an Amiable is to become their friend. Make your body language warm, smile, and make your voice soft and relaxed.
The Expressive or Get Appreciated. Their goals include accentuating their personality. They will wear the "old is new again" bug eye glasses that Paris Hilton wears now and Elvis and Jackie Onassis wore. Expressives want their sunglasses to say that they are big, bold and outrageous. They are the most likely to choose sunglasses with brightly colored frames, are unusual with rhinestones and glitter and other assorted bling. They are also the most likely to have multiple pairs of sunglasses, a veritable sunglass wardrobe so they can dress for their mood and the occasion.
This type of person wants to be challenged; they enjoy learning about new, exciting things. So if you present them with a new project they may jump on it just because it is new. But because they love new stuff they are easily bored and may not follow through on work that requires details or lots of small print forms and multiple steps. If you need that kind of detailed work from them, you may have to check back with them or provide some sort of social interaction or pat-on-the-back feedback when they do. For example, when they turn in their monthly time sheets or travel vouchers on Fridays let them know that they will get to sit and have coffee with you. Or instead of emailing in work have them present it at the weekly meeting! Or whenever they email those kinds of detailed projects to you, you send them a cartoon or funny photo or a personal email. They burn hot and cold, so keep your face to face or over the phone delivery lively. They like bold statements, new directions, initiatives, bright ideas and enjoy a good sense of humor. Expressive types like to lead and influence others so if you give them tasks where they can get other people on board you will have a highly motivated worker. And if they are hip to your project they will be your rah rah cheerleader and supporter. They like to be noticed and appreciated--that is like food and water for them and feeds them deeply.

So now you know how to present your ideas, projects, and tasks to others. You can get more accomplished with a lot less stress. Make your body language energetic and open and your voice up beat and fast paced.

The Analytical or get it right. This type is smart, careful, and accurate. They want their sunglasses to work correctly and not be noticeable or wild. They are the most likely personality type to wear changeable glasses that darken automatically into sunglasses when worn in the sun. They love the practical sunglass clips that clip onto regular glasses and if they spend the money on prescription sunglasses they are the most likely to get Bi-focals - These sunglasses are meant to provide prescription magnifying assistance for those requiring a little extra help while reading. Since this type of person is the one that reads the fine print and the instructions, they want to make sure to have the correct prescription. They are practical about their sunglass purchase and will keep them for a long time. They have trouble making decisions about purchasing their sunglasses because they have so many details to consider. They welcome documentation, lengthy testimonial and statistical evidence that prove that the ones they are buying have the highest UVA protection. They will have a case for their sunglasses.
When you are talking to a Get it Right, you can explain until you are blue in the face, and they will still ask for more. They have great insights and opinions and don’t always get a chance to express them out loud so ask for them before you tell them “Do it this way,” and you will get more buy in. Whether you give them a task face to face or through email they will email you back with problems, mistakes, and why it won’t work. Be prepared and if possible make sure you deal with their criticisms face to face or your project will drag out and weigh you down with back and forth conversations and emails. Even when you think the “deal is done” they will want to come back with one more fix. Analyzers are cautious because they want to make sure it is done the right way and produces the perfect result. They typically think if you just give them more time or let them do it their way they can make it perfect. To avoid delays you may even give a deadline for criticism and say, “Get back to me by this date with problems and after that no matter what we will go forward. To make sure they are receptive, don’t interrupt them, they like their solitude and prefer to know you will be coming to talk to them rather than having you just drop by. Make your body language appropriate and reserved and your voice slow and low volume and allow long silent pauses for them to think before they speak.
The Bottom-liner or Get it Done. This personality will spend the most money on a single pair of couture sunglasses. They prefer top names like Gucci and they love to have the designer name on the glasses. If they have more than one very nice pair of sunglasses, the other pair or pairs will be needed for special activity. They will have mirrored or aviators for snow skiing. High impact for sports and a bike helmet with special UVR protection for motorcycling or racing. They will always purchase the top luxury brand. They may skimp on other things but not on something that others will see them in every day. If there is a Mercedes of eyeglass wear the Get it dones will have them. They rationalize that if you buy the best you will have them for years.
They will also want it. This type of person values brevity and makes quick decisions. They want you to tell them short and sweet what you do and what you want them to do. They like summaries and they want to be told their task. Forget the boring details, and for goodness sake don’t repeat yourself. Make your email requests to them in bullet points. They can juggle multiple tasks but like the feeling of getting a task done. You may want to break long term, detailed projects down into mini projects for them. They like to get things done and then move on. So don’t be wishy washy and give them something to do then change your mind about it. They fear a lack of control so they need to know they are in charge of their part of the project. They gain energy from being in charge and meeting challenges. Be forceful and commanding, know what you want say and stick to it. Make your body language confident and your eye contact direct and your voice strong and fast paced.


Take Care,

Patti

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
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What is he saying with his body language? Is he into you?

Here are my rough notes and insights from my new book in response to questions sent to me for a story on Glamour.com I have listed the body language cues first and then the answers so you can take this as a "Is He Into You?" body language quiz:

1. He Licks His Lips

2. He Talks with His Hands

3. He Pushes Your Hair out of Your Eyes

4. He Rubs His Collarbone or Stomach

5. He Sways While Speaking

6. He Raises His Eyebrows

7. He Fidgets in His Chair

8. He Runs His Fingers through His Hair

9. He Sits or Stands with His Legs Splayed

10. He Strokes His Face

11. He Reaches Out His Hand

12. He Kisses You... On Your Forehead



1. He Licks His Lips: When we get nervous our saliva glands stop secreting and our mouths get dry. If someone licks his lips before he talks he could merely be nervous or he could be nervous because he is uncomfortable with what he is about to say. Perhaps he is embarrassed, perhaps he is lying. If he licks his lips after he speaks he is likely trying to erase what he just said because it is a lie. Licking the lips after you speak is a strong "tell" of deceit. I call this move the tongue eraser.

2. He Talks with His Hands: People from certain cultures--Italy, Turkey, South America-- tend to talk more with their hands. It is part of their culture. Extroverts talk with their hands to be more expressive. Using your hands helps you access more information in your brain, especially emotional information and emotion laden words.

3. He Pushes Your Hair out of Your Eyes: If the touch is gentle and doesn't linger too long it’s a movement that shows tenderness and caring. If he frowns or grimaces as he does it, it shows a need to have things correct and/or perfect. If he gives you long lingering eye contact and his hand strays on your face a beat longer than necessary, he wants you. (It is a sexual come-on move.)

4. He Rubs His Collarbone or Stomach: These moves send very different signals. Rubbing the collarbone at the front of his body signals insecurity. It is not a usual move for a man. Women touch theirs when they are stressed. A man rubbing the back of his neck, signals stress and if he shows other signs like pressing his lips together tightly or bringing his eyebrows together in a V over the nose he may be ready to fight.

5. He Sways While Speaking: The meaning depends on the sway. Most swaying motions are comforting motions. We might sway to music. The front to back is typically a comforting motion mimicking being rocked in the mother's womb. If the sway brings him up on his toes it indicates happiness.

6. He Raises His Eyebrows: This can mean so many different things--surprise, happiness, recognition, a positive greeting from afar, skepticism. So much of the meaning is in the timing and words being said.

7. He Fidgets in His Chair: This restless motion communicates a lack of comfort with himself, the topic, the situation or the speaker.

8. He Runs His Fingers through His Hair: If the motion starts from the front of his face and goes all the way back and is done with some forcefulness and/or a sigh it could mean a desire to erase negative feelings. If he dips his head forward and gently cups his hair and smiles it signals he wants to look good. If he does that last move as he approaches you or you approach him, he is a bit nervous about his appearance because he wants to look good for you. It may mean he likes you.

9. He Sits or Stands with His Legs Splayed: He feels powerful or wants to feel powerful. Sitting with the legs splayed shows Machismo. "I am the alpha male."

10. He Strokes His Face: This is another of those cues where it depends on the other cues and the situation to determine the meaning. Stroking the chin typically means, "I am thinking about this." He is critically considering and evaluating the prospects of the situation.

11. He Reaches Out His Hand: If he is reaching in your direction he likes you and is symbolically reaching out to touch you. Reaching out palm down shows interest and a desire to touch. Reaching out with the palm up is unusual on a first date and would say hold my hand. A man would only reach out palm up, making him vulnerable, if he knew the woman well and knew he would not be turned down.

12. He Kisses You... On Your Forehead: A great sign of tenderness.

This material is copyrighted. Please get permission from Patti Wood before using it.

How do you know if he loves you? Using body language to detect lying

How can reading body language and paralanguage alert you to whether or not he really loves you when he says he does? Remember that in nonverbal communication and deception detection, the timing is the “tell”. What does his body language look like just before he says, “I love you”? People feel and show what they are feeling before and as they are saying what they are feeling. The order of a honest person's message is feel, show, say. The primitive brain feels first without the words--just the pure emotion of love. Then the primitive brain, where emotions and body language are processed, shows with nonverbal cues that there is love present. Then the cognitive brain thinks of the words that say I love you. So just before he says I love you and/or as he says it, look for the cues. Is he making eye contact? Is his heart facing towards you? Does his face change with upward expressions before or as he says the words? Are his toes pointed towards your heart or towards the door? Listen to his voice. Does his tone and intonation reveal warmth and caring as he says the words. If all the nonverbal signs of love come before or during you are in luck. The man loves you. Or is the timing off? For example, he has a tight face with downward pulled muscles and clipped voice and he says "I love you," and then he smiles. If so, it is possible he might not be into you. Remember to look for the timing and duration of emotional gestures to be synchronous. If they are off the normal pace, delayed, stay longer than they would naturally, or stop suddenly, the man may be lying. OK guys, I know you may be reading this wondering, "Why did Patti make the guy the liar?" Simply because more women send me photos standing with their sweeties and ask me, “Is he in to me?” than men. A woman could give the same cues.

DISC Personality Style and Body Language

Getting What You Want from People.
How to Get Buy In, Follow Through and Enthusiastic Participation on Projects, Task and Goals.
By Patti Wood MA, CSP, Professional Speaker
Your boss walks into your cubical and says, “I need that project from you by 2:00,” turns around and walks out. How do you feel? Well if you’re a get it done kind of person, you might appreciate that he didn’t waste your time with niceties and was in and out. But if that is not your style you may get pretty mad. You’re really excited to tell your team you have a new project. It will require a lot of work and the deadline is almost impossible to meet without everyone putting in extra hours, but you're pumped. You go in smiling and read to rock. Speaking with an enthusiastic voice and lots of gestures and rah rah language you tell the team about the project. How do they respond? Well if they are fellow expressive types they might jump on the bandwagon with equal enthusiasm. However if they are get it right analyzers they are sitting there shaking their heads thinking of all the details that need to be taken care of, in other words all the mistakes that they will need to fix and how they will be spending every waking hour for the next three weeks. Different people need different delivery styles.
If you have an important idea to communicate to someone at work and you need other people's buy in, you have a task to assign to someone and you want to make sure they follow through, or you want to make sure you will get enthusiastic participation, what’s the best way to present your message? You need to consider the personality of the person you are going to talk to and form a message and delivery style that suits them. We often go in to persuade someone using the communication style that is comfortable for us. What we need to do is consider the personality type of the person we are speaking with! Below are the four basic personality types of the DISC personality inventory and their characteristics. Read what each one likes and prepare your message and delivery style to match your communication recipient's needs. Understand the underlying traits of the four main types, but know that most people are a combination.
The Amiable or Get Along. This type of person wants to be your friend. They respond to heavy use of the word "you" and the promise of an on-going relationship. They like warmhearted friendly conversations and a relaxed pace. Ask about their weekend and their kids before you ask for work from them. In fact, you should build relationship credits with them every week so when you really need them you have relationship credits to draw on. Also know a warm hello and a sincere thank you are as necessary as food and water to the Amiable. Amiable think carefully before taking any action and they don’t like change. You need to talk them through any new projects or changes in old routines to get them to buy in and follow through, otherwise they will keep doing it the old way or what they may consider the way that has “always worked before.” They need to feel a sense of security before moving forward. They best way to get work from an amiable is to become their friend. Make your body language warm, your voice soft and relaxed, and smile.
More on the other types this Sunday!