Job interview Tips, Body language and Interviewing

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in preparing for a job interview is not having someone objectively assess you body language and vocal behavior. We are often unaware how the our most mundane behaviors affect the way others view us. We can go into a job interview oblivious to our blind spots. No one will tell you unless you ask.

There is a makeover TV show called What Not to Wear. On the show, friends and family members appalled at how someone they know dresses, request the person get a makeover. I find the show entertaining on many levels. Why is the bad dresser always so surprised he or she was chosen for the show?
• The friends and family never told them
• Or, they didn’t believe what they were told
• Or, they do not know what good dressing look likes.
Think about it. Most of the people at work are strangely uncomfortable telling you what’s wrong with you or have trouble telling why they think certain things about you. As you prepare for a job interview you need to know. On the TV show, the fashion consultants put the guest in a four-way mirror booth so they can see themselves from all sides. That alone is painful for the guest. Then they come in and start coaching. They are brutally honest. They say things like, “You look horrible in that.” “That color is awful with your hair color.” “These shoes went out in the 80’s when they were never in.” Then they give coaching on good dressing and even have mannequins dressed appropriately. Finally, they have the person go and shop for the clothes and wear them. The guest is always surprised to find they didn't look as good as they thought and happy to learn how they can make changes to look and feel fantastic.
You may not be a bad dresser or have poor body language, but you might want to improve some aspect of your behavior for a job interview. There may be things you don’t know about yourself. If you want to improve you need to get into a four-way mirror on your behavior, be brutally honest with yourself, find models of the best nonverbal behaviors and see in ways in which you may wish to grow. Then get someone objectives opinion. You may think you know how you come across to others, but you may not really be aware of little body language quirks and vocal habits that could turn an interview off. You may think your best attribute is confidence but you need to get a objective viewpoint to make sure you don't actually appear conceited to interviewer They may think they sound smart when their answers sound condescending and they jut their chin out defiantly. A person can think they are warm and friendly and they but someone meeting them in an interview for the first time may wonder why they don't take a breath and let them talk.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional Panel guest on Fox Five News Job Search.
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Tips to Reduce Stress and Build Confidence for a Job Interview

Tip for building confidence and reducing anxiety for a job interview.
When you get upset or nervous or just plain stressed out during your job search notice your breathing. Right now look at your watch, you cell phone or clock and begin to count the number of times you breath in and out in a minute.You may notice that even at rest your nervous breathing is faster than the "average" rate of 12 to 14 times a minute (a rate which is already faster than it needs to be). In fact, many of us, without knowing it, habitually "hyperventilate"--that is, we take quick, shallow breaths from the top of our chest. This kind of breathing sharply reduces the level of carbon dioxide in our blood. This reduced level of carbon dioxide causes the arteries, including the carotid artery going to the brain, to constrict, thus reducing the flow of blood throughout the body. When this occurs, no matter how much oxygen you may breathe into your lungs, your brain and body will experience a shortage of oxygen. The lack of oxygen switches on the sympathetic nervous system--our "freeze, fight or flight reflex"—The that reflex enabled our ancestors to freeze so we wouldn't be seen or flee from a saber tooth tiger but now it is just making you tense, anxious, and irritable. When you take quick shallow breaths you reduce our ability to think clearly. During a job interview it may keep you from answering questions quickly and succinctly, and you can beat the mercy of obsessive thoughts and images. You may start thinking, Oh my gosh I am going to mess up." "Oh my gosh I am a failure." "I bet he thinks I am stupid." We may even stop breathing as we get to end of each obsessive thought. Some researchers believe that hyperventilation can actually magnify our psychological problems and conflicts, and that chronic hyperventilation is intimately bound up with our anxieties, apprehensions, and fears. One key to feeling clear headed, energized and confident,is to breath deeply, from low down in your belly. You can practice breathing more slowly using your diaphragm, belly, rib cage, and lower back in the breathing process. I have been reading and practicing tantric breathing to be more awake to how I breath and really get inside my body and increase my power. It is amazing how strong and powerful I feel when I take deep belly breaths making a lot of noise as the air fills me up and and let out that breath fully and completely in deep releasing sighs. Of course your not going to be doing tantric breathing during your interview, but it could help calm you and clear your energy the night before or in the car before you go into your interview. Try it right now. Take four deep belly breaths in on a count of four holding for a count of two and making lots noise as you sigh deeply out all your breath. Now say. I feel wonderful. How does your voice sound? More powerful? More Alive? (link to voice articles) See The Tao of Natural Breathing for more information.
________________________________________
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Fox Channel Five Job Search and Job Interviewing Webcast.

For great information on finding a job, writing an ageless resume, using social networking and body language for job interviews check out Atlanta Fox News website for a webcast panel discussion. As a body language expert on the panel today, I shared how important it is to visualize your success before the interview. Job seekers sometimes get so anxious before an interview that they imagine all the mistakes they will make. Instead prepare by first practicing live then visualizing your success. Practice how you will shake hands well and sit with confidence, be warm and friendly, listen well and answer all the questions your asked with confidence and play the movie of you giving a successful interview in your head over and over so that when you are under stress you can easily go to the positive successful responses you have rehearsed and played over and over in your mind. You body will go to what you have rehearsed the most. Rehearse and nail the interview response. For more tips go to the search portion of Patti's blog and type in job interview body language.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Job Interviewing Tips on Eye Contact by Patti Wood MA, CSP

Gaze sends a message of power. It also gives you control of the conversation even as the listener. To build rapport you need to gaze, looking and then looking away about 60 to 70 percent of the time. If you are not sure if you look enough ask yourself if your getting the attention and results from people that you want. Eye Contact sends the message that you are serious. If your still not sure ask the people you interact with wither you give enough eye contact.
You need to make good eye-contact with others. A lack of eye-contact can make you look dishonest, disrespectful, evasive, rude, incompetent, lacking in confidence or lacking in conviction. In North American Culture we expect people to look at us when we are talking to them.
If people find you overbearing I can bet your eye contact is part of the problem. If you look too long and don’t break away enough it’s intimidating. You want to gaze not stare. Gazing is very different than staring if you gaze more than that 70 percent of the time people are going to think you’re a bully, you’re weird or that they have spinach between their teeth.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Job Interviewing Tips by Patti Wood MA, CSP

Are you interested in Job finding, Resume Writing, Body Language and Interviewing Tips? I will be on a three person panel of experts today discussing interviewing tips for Channel Five News. You can find articles I have writing on the topic by going to the search portion of this blog and typing in job interviewing tips or body language and job interviewing tips. Here are are a few quick tips.
Life is good. Hard but good. With the economy being what it is some people are looking for new jobs or going on sales calls like never before. If you are in that situation you cannot afford to become stressed or "psyched out" before talking to a potential customer or employer. As a body language expert trainer and one on one coach I would like to share some great tools to "... prepare you mentally to go into the sales call or job interview and be at your best.

• One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and meeting is to imagine the emotions you want the prospect or interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. A recent job interview coaching client of mine was very anxious about an upcoming interview and his stress was evident in his body language. He was holding hands in his lap and had his feet tucked under the chair and his voice was so soft I was having to ask him to repeat his statement. I asked him what he wanted his interviewer to feel about him. He said the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. I asked him to imagine how he behaved when he was excited. Then I asked him act that way. His body language and paralanguage changed immediately. He held his head and torso up then he leaned forward and gestured up and out and used a energy charged voice to share his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it excited." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.

• A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP” upward posture, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.

• A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, voice going down at the end of sentences.

• And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the thought, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

First lady’s shorts draw some long, hard looks

First lady’s shorts draw some long, hard looks
Michelle Obama’s informal look in Arizona has some questioning her choice
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32474207/ns/today-today_fashion_and_beauty/?GT1=43001

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

First lady’s shorts draw some long, hard looks

First lady’s shorts draw some long, hard looks
Michelle Obama’s informal look in Arizona has some questioning her choice
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32474207/ns/today-today_fashion_and_beauty/?GT1=43001

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

First Impressions and Chance Encounters

First Impressions. Last week I got into a deep stuff discussion with a group of people. We talked about fate and premonitions. I have often wondered if premonitions and first impressions are oddly related. You know, hebejeebie, new age, I met you in a past life, let's burn some incense odd.
Years ago, a few days before Valentine’s day. I had a strange premonition. I was in a huge bright white room with really high ceilings and there was a very shy sweet man standing in front of me. I could tell by his body language that he was really nervous and then he asked me out and I said, “Yes, I would love to.” This was odd in so many ways, not the least of which was that I hadn’t dated in five years and couldn't image standing in some weird white room with a stranger and saying I would go out with him.

A few days later on Valentine’s Day I was stuck in Snow storm in a very crowded Chicago Airport. I had been standing in the security line quite awhile when I realized I didn’t have a plastic bag for my makeup so I had to get out of line. I got back in line and opened my water bottle, the water was carbonated and had gotten quite a bit of shaking in my briefcase so the water spouted up and all over me. I started laughing and the gentleman in line behind me smiled. I thought what a sweet man, and we struck up a conversation. We talked a bit and said goodbye after we went through the check point. Later I got in line to get in an airport restaurant and something just told me that I didn’t want to get in line yet so I went to a bookstore. I got back in line and had my eye on a quite table that was about to come open but the two guys behind me asked me if I wanted the seat at the bar that was open. I hate sitting at the bar of a restaurant, but something told me I should take it so I said I will take it and when I sat down I discovered the guy from the security line was sitting right next to me. We ended up talking for 2 and half hours about; Music, TV shows from the seventies, relationships and loving our work. As we shared and laughed together we marveled at how many things we had in common. We bonded. We were about to say goodbye and get on our delayed flights when we noticed we were about to get on the same plane. When I got off the plane in Atlanta the guy walked with me to baggage claim and we kept talking and laughing. We got to baggage claim and I looked at him and noticed that he was shy and nervous all of a sudden. I looked up and realized I was in a huge bright white room with high ceilings and that they sweet guy was about to ask me out. He asked me out I said, “Yes, I would love to.” And we became sweeties.




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How to Look Younger -Master the art of non-verbal cues that can make you appear more youthful

Here are links to a story I was interviewed for on How to Look Young.

http://save6.sunmedia.ca/Save/classic/doc?docid=91752791&q=%22joanne%20richard%22%20AND%20date(last%207%20days)&stem=true&spaceop=AND&ttype=xsl&tval=headline_sun&pos=14&hn=15&pubAbbrev=sunmedia&dtokey=rbout#anchor91752791

http://save6.sunmedia.ca/Save/classic/doc?docid=91751480&q=%22joanne%20richard%22%20AND%20date(last%207%20days)&stem=true&spaceop=AND&ttype=xsl&tval=headline_sun&pos=17&hn=18&pubAbbrev=sunmedia&dtokey=rbout#anchor91751480

http://save6.sunmedia.ca/Save/classic/doc?docid=91752595&q=%22joanne%20richard%22%20AND%20date(last%207%20days)&stem=true&spaceop=AND&ttype=xsl&tval=headline_sun&pos=8&hn=9&pubAbbrev=sunmedia&dtokey=rbout#anchor91752595

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel






http://save6.sunmedia.ca/Save/classic/doc?docid=91752452&q=%22joanne%20richard%22%20AND%20date(last%207%20days)&stem=true&spaceop=AND&ttype=xsl&tval=headline_sun&pos=7&hn=8&pubAbbrev=sunmedia&dtokey=rbout#anchor91752452

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

I read photos of Tom Cruise and Katie Homes for this weeks IN TOUCH weekly magazine. They where tired and stressed, and though there are rumors that the stress was between them the photos did not show they where upset with each other.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Kate Gosselin's Emotional Today Show Interview 8/10/09

I read Kate's body language and paralanguage in her recent Today Show interview. US weekly sent me two video's to read how she is feeling about her divorce and note any cues that she had an affair or feels she made a mistake in doing the show. Here are the links to the video's Notice how Katie’s keeps all her limbs close together. Her feet are touching her knees are pressed together her hands are clasped together her arms are held to her side, she often presses her lips tight together with the edges turned down. Symbolically she is keeping it together. The knees pressed together and the hands held up in her lap show the protection after an assault on her sexual trust of her partner.
When she is asked, “I notice you still have on your wedding ring, why is that Kate.” Kate pauses. She tries at first, to suck in her grief and then is overwhelms her. The overwhelming grief comes out in a rush of air and tears leak out as well as Kate says, “For them.” “I don’t want to upset them.” This is the only time in the interview Kate’s voice trembles. Otherwise, her voice is strong and confident. She is sure she made the right choice to do the TV show that this is the best thing for her children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JrxMehwn1I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4d6sojTsGw&feature=fvst



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Are Handshakes Out?

 

I still keep learning about body language. Over the years I have updated my first body language book. One of the interesting changes is how people feel about touching as they greet someone. It seems that handshakes are going going gone with the wind as a daily inner office greeting ritual. I am even hearing that recruiters would like to avoid having the shake hands with job candidates. What are you noticing about the hand shake ritual or lack of handshake? I have blogged about the death of the handshake. Is is gone?

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
Posted by Picasa

89 Tips for How to Start Your Workday off Right

To find out tips on how people start their work day off right go to the link below. I contributed to the tips. There are a ton of them. Interesting how many people check their emails and twitters at the beginning of the work day.
You can view the article here: http://tinyurl.com/IAstartright



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Lowering Blood Sugar Levels May Help Your Memory

Do you ever have a senior moment? Do you walk from one room to another to get something and then forget what you where going after? A recent article in the April,May,June Scientific American Mind discussed that a link between aging and a decrease in the ability to metabolize blood sugar has been found to be a contributing factor to memory loss. According to a study by author Scott Small who is a Neurologist at Colombia University."Elevated blood sugar effect the "hot spot" in the hypothalamus for age-related impairment." and "...exercise improves the the function of that "hot spot" he suggests that is because exercise improves our bodies ability to, "...break down glucose." Some suggest that exercise may help are brains process glucose and decreaser our memory loss. I walk for 45 minutes everyday and I still forget were I put my cell phone. Maybe I need to walk a few more hours.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Body Language for Job Interviews

Career Coach Gail Geary, my frend of many years, heard that I created a video of my program on body langauge and job interiviews. She wrote the book, "Over 40 Job search guide. We both were interviewed on Good Day Atlanta this week. She knows people over 40 searching for jobs are looking for ways to look young or younger. We are teaming up to do a morning public seminar in the fall on "Looking Young at any age. Look for the details comming soon.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

More Body Language Tips for Job Interviews

Continuing with the more tips for body language in Job Interviews using SOFTEN. The E in Soften stands for Eye Contact. "He didn't look me in the eye. I just couldn't trust him." In a job interview your eye contact makes you look credible and trustworthy. When your scared or we don't like a question during a job interview you might avert your eyes, blink, or shut them. What makes someone credible? According to the research, competence, trustworthiness and dynamism are the three main components that make up credibility. Competence is defined as the communicator's knowledge and expertise about the communication. Trustworthiness is a measure of the communicator's honesty and sincerity. Dynamism is a person's energy and confidence in communicating. Nonverbal communication is vital to competence, trustworthiness and dynamism because these qualities are rarely stated directly. For example, people rarely say, "I am competent" or "I am trustworthy."
THE IMPORTANCE OF EYE BEHAVIOR AND EYE CONTACT
The most noticeable nonverbal behavior that affects credibility is eye behavior and eye contact. Like the old saying, "Eyes are your window to the world," eyes can be the window to credibility. Studies on eye contact and its effect on communication and credibility find that maintaining a steady gaze while communicating is beneficial to credibility, and conversely, averting eye contact is detrimental to credibility. Eye contact studies have produced information about the effect of eye contact on the three components of credibility. In tests where these three components were isolated, eye behaviors had little effect on dynamism. The competence and trustworthiness categories, however, produced a significant link.
When volunteers were asked to rate the competence of communicators with low eye contact and with high eye contact, the competence ratings were significantly higher for the subjects who exhibited high eye contact with the audience. The same test produced the same results in measuring trustworthiness of those with low eye contact and high eye contact.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

More on Six Tips For Body Language in Job Interviews

In a previous post on Six Tips for body language in a job interview I recommended you just remember to S.O.F.T.E.N. T in SOFTEN refers to turn off technology. You want to make sure that all your electronic devices are turned off before your job interview. That may sound like a "no brainer." but sometimes when your under stress you forget the little things. You do not want your baby sitter calling you during your job interview asking you were the TV remote is hiding. Make it a ritual in you interview rehearsal to turn off all your technology. Also ideally keep everything out of view. Don't have anything clipped to your belt and or in your hands or sticking out of your pocket. The focus is on the interviewer. If technology is in view it says symbolically that another person's call or email is more important to you than the interview. Turn off technology and put it out of site before the interview.

S -mile
O- pen windows
F- orwad Lean
T- urn off technology
E- ye-Contact
N- od your head

This information is from Patti's video Nail the Interview Get the Job for information about the video or Patti's coaching or training contact us at Patti@PattiWood.net To purchase Patti's body language book Success Signals go to our website to the products section at the link below.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Body Language Tips for Job Interviews

To show you are interested and listening in a job interview you want to occasionally lean forward. Leaning forward slightly with your head, your upper torso or your whole body shows you are connecting to what the interviewer is saying. Don't over due it! Gentle timely forward leans. Your not trying to "get in their face." Interviewees tend to pull back when they don't like a question or are fearful of a question. Just making an effort to move forward shows the interviewer your focused on them not on yourself.

This information is from Patti's video Nail the Interview Get the Job for information about the video or Patti's coaching or training contact us at:
Patti@PattiWood.net

Patti does training and one on one coaching on Job Interviews. Please contact us for details.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

More Body Language Tips for Job Interviews

Open your body language for job interviews. When your afraid you body retracts and gets smaller. It makes sense. If you feel like you may be attacked you would tend to make yourself a smaller target. But, in a job interview, no matter how you feel when you start, act like your brave with your body language and keep your body open. It will help you. The body sends messages to the brain within seconds so you will quickly feel brave.
So keep your heart facing toward the interviewer. It is common to shield your heart when your answering the tough questions. Make sure your don't hold your hands in you lap in front of you or gesture to close to the body.

This information is from Patti's video Nail the interview, Get the Job. For information on the video, training or one on one coaching with Patti email us at Patti@PattiWood.net
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Powerful Body Language for Job Interviews

Power and Confidence for your body language in a job interview are established by:

Space
Open Windows
Relaxation
Up body language

Space
To look powerful and confident in a job interview you want to take up space. When you feel good your body expands. Let your arms and hands reach out and gesture your legs come from underneath the chair. Don't be afraid to put your arms on the arms of the chairs. Of course don't overdue it. You don't want to kick your feet way out in front of you.

This information is from Patti's video Nail the interview, Get the Job. For information on the video, training or one on one coaching with Patti email us at Patti@PattiWood.net

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

SOFTEN Body Language for Job Interviews

You want your body language in a job interview to show that you are listening and connected with the interviewer.
Here Six tips for body language in a job interview just remember to S.O.F.T.E.N.

S -mile
O- pen windows
F- orwad Lean
T- urn off technology
E- ye-Contact
N- od your head

This information is from Patti's video, Nail the interview, Get the Job. For information on the video, training or one on one coaching with Patti email us at Patti@PattiWood.net To purchase Patti's book Success Signals please go to our website. www.PattiWood.net
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Tips for Communicating with the Opposite Sex

Where did that come from? Tips for better communication with the opposite sex
Here is an article I was recently quoted in written by
Susan H. Burnell, APR*
Imagination Ink - Business Writing & Public Relations


Why is it so difficult for men and women to communicate effectively? Is it just the way we’re wired? By learning about the differences in com¬munication styles, we can move on to more effec¬tive exchanges with fellow students, work colleagues, friends and family members.
“The primary differ¬ence between the genders is that men, in general, are resolvers and women are relaters,” says Certified Corporate Trainer Rosalind Sedacca. “As resolvers, men focus on doing, taking action, find¬ing solutions, getting things done and solving problems. As a result, they are very externally focused.”
“As relaters, women focus on pleasing, com¬municating, making connections, understand¬ing feelings, exploring emotions and being understood,” Sedacca continues. “As a result, they are more introspec¬tive and internally focused.”
The work of acclaimed author Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. sums up these dif¬ferences succinctly, says Sedacca. “Tannen points out that women talk to establish rapport, while men talk to report.”

Competition vs. Empathy
Cognitive behavior therapist Jayme Albin, Ph.D. helps people build awareness of differing communication styles so they can improve their own communication and assertiveness skills.
“Men seek to preserve a sense of hierarchy,” she notes. “That’s why they are more comfortable being outwardly competi¬tive with peers. Women, on the other hand, often will look to align them¬selves with their peers and express empathy by estab¬lishing themselves as equals. This is why women often share related stories with one another during times of despair. It conveys to the other person, ‘I have been in your position before and can relate.’”
In her book Talking from 9 to 5, Tannen expands on her insights into men’s and women’s conversational styles. While she maintains that no one style of speaking is superior, she emphasizes the importance of under¬standing our own styles, and knowing their limits and their alternatives, especially in work situations.
“The key is to acknowl¬edge and under¬stand the differences and expand our own styles to respond in ways appropri¬ate to the situation,” says Madeline Ann Lewis, president and CEO of Deline Institute for Professional Develop¬ment.

Giving him the nod
One distinct difference in styles that can lead to miscommunication is the way women often nod their heads as men talk.
“Women should be certain that they are com¬municating the correct message when they keep nodding to a male speaker,” says Lewis. “He may feel that you are in agreement when you are actually just indicating that you are listening.”
“Women nod their heads as feedback,” adds Certified Speaking Profes¬sional and body language expert Patti Wood, M.A. “For women, a head nod conveys ‘I get what you’re saying, go on.’ Yet a woman may nod whether she agrees with the speaker’s message or not. Men only nod to a speaker when they agree. So a man may become confused or even angry when the woman he’s talking with contradicts or argues with him. His interpretation is ‘She is nodding her head. She thinks I’m brilliant.’ Yet while she is nodding, she may be thinking, ‘I get it. Now finish, so I can disagree!’ So woman have to be careful how about giving ‘I’m listen¬ing’ nods if they disagree with what a man is say¬ing.”
Another conflict occurs when men don’t nod when a woman is talking, says Wood. “The woman may think, ‘That jerk isn’t listening to me. I listen and give him feed¬back all the time.’ Men typically do not give as much nonverbal feedback or even nonverbal utter¬ances like ‘uh huh’ to show they are listening. A woman may accuse a man of not really listening, when he is. And he may become frustrated, won¬dering ‘why she is so demanding?’”
With a little understanding, men and women can learn to anticipate and accommodate one another’s communication styles, and move toward better relationships in all areas of their lives.



Resources

You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, by Deborah Tannen (William Morrow, Ballantine)
That’s Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Your Relations With Others, by Deborah Tannen (William Morrow, Ballantine)
Talking from 9 to 5: How Women’s and Men’s Conversational Styles Affect Who Gets Heard, Who Gets Credit, and What Gets Done, by Deborah Tannen (William Morrow, New York)
Leadership and the Sexes, by Michael Gurian with Barbara Annis; (Jossey-Bass/John Wiley, 2008)
Jayme Albin, M.A., Ph.D.: www.AsktheCBT.com
Madeline Ann Lewis:www.delineinstitute.net
Rosalind Sedacca: www.womenhelpingwomenmastermind.com
Patti Wood, M.A.: www.PattiWood.net