Stress and Finding Balance Tip

1.    Count to ten. When you're upset, count to ten. When you're mad or angry, you are operating from the emotional limbic brain (what we use to call the right hemisphere of the brain.) Numbers are in the brain’s neocortex. (left hemisphere). Counting gets your brain to switch to the your more logical brain this automatically gets you to feel calmer

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at wwsnapw.firstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Deception Detection - What To Do After You Find Out


I do deception detection training for law enforcement, corporate clients, hospitals and casinos. Recently I was asked to share with a media source what to do when you have found out there has been a lie or cover-up. So here are ten things to do when you have discovered an employee lying, cheating or stealing.  

You really need to get a read on the person before you have a discussion or attempt to uncover deception. Sometimes it is just a small lie or bad behavior by an overall good person, but if the problem is serious or a criminal or the person is unstable you may have to deal with some uncomfortable or even dangerous behavior.  Someone who has been living with the fear of being “found out” may be in a heightened state of stress for a long time.  Think of what you would do to prepare to come upon a soldier in a war zone.  The person may be very afraid and ready to attack or defend. Proceed and deal with that person cautiously.
  
1.       Have evidence. Having visual hard evidence, specific facts in a list form on paper, videotapes, things that they can see and or touch is helpful.
2.       Know exactly what you’re going to say.  Write it down, prepare and practice.
3.       If you want to get them to talk or tell you why, you may want to use the phrase, “I know what you did, and I know you want to tell me everything.” “I know you did this, and you will feel so much better if you tell me everything.”
4.       Have your plan of what you will do and what they need to do and be prepared to take action and follow through immediately.
5.       Some people will crumble right away and apologize. Be prepared to act with compassion and forgiveness for someone who made a mistake and is not a bad person or compulsive liar.
6.       If a liar thinks they have an out or delay, they can be very persuasive and manipulative.  Be prepared, they may use tears and anger to try to get you to change your plans.  
7.        If someone is a compulsive liar be prepared, they will continue to deny any evidence you give them of their deceit.
8.       Be prepared to repeat your statements of evidence. Repeat your plan and what they need to do. Also be prepared to say,”I hear what you’re saying, but I need to do… and you must do …” or even, “No matter what you say, this is what needs to happen.”
9.       When they are gone and you are done, plan to do something with someone you trust and care about to ground you and remind you that most people are good and kind. Don’t berate yourself for being deceived, it happens.
10.   Protect yourself from cynicism. Look for kind, caring and honest people.   The most recent research says that people who expect people to be good and have people in their life that have integrity can more accurately detect deceit. 


Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Fight in elevator footage and body language reading of Solange, Beyoncé and Jay Z

The body language read below of the elevator fight will appear in the New York Daily News.

Solange, Jay Z, Beyoncé fight in the elevator video is in the New York Daily News. The video is at the link below.
BY PATTI WOOD
After reviewing the shocking Standard Hotel elevator footage, I’m certain of two things:
Solange Knowles’ anger has been building up for some time – and Jay Z and Beyonce are used to her outbursts.
There are many indications that she had a long-standing source of anger.
Let's start with her weapon moves, Solange pointed and jabbed her finger at him over 12 times.
And she kept after him even after being held in the arms of the body guard, she didn’t just have one problem with him. She had a list. She had lots that she wanted to tell him.
It’s very interesting that Solange does most of the beginning of  attack with her feet.  That’s her primal wiring. The feet are the most honest portion of the body. 
Her kicks are violent and they don’t abate quickly. Again this shows that her anger has been building up for a while.
Jay Z and Beyonce barely moved there body language stayed straight up down forward with aggression of backward in retreat. That’s telling.
They were oddly both standing straight up and down, while Solange had multiple clusters of attack moves including body, feet, chest, arms and hands and head and chin thrusts,
They didn’t feel the need to become aggressive or defensive because they had seen this behavior before.
Beyonce faced toward her sister but does not show any overt correction behavior to stop her.  Jay Z’s posture movements and facial expression suggests he was not afraid of her. He was protecting himself, but only slightly.
For example when kicked he held her foot but doesn’t; counter attack. This tells me they’re used to her venting and venting, and then stopping
The most fascinating part of the nonverbal read is that Solange's outburst turned on when she got into the elevator and turned off as she calmly walked out behind them.

Patti Wood is an Atlanta-based body language expert and author of the book, “Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions and Body Language.”





Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.