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"Being Fully Alive" A Comment On A Quote From My Book!


I had to tell you.  I received your first book today and went into reading it immediately.  I have to thank you! 

Your paragraph in this book:

So many times we are distracted, by to do's and TV shows, by our own worries and wants, that we ignore the being right there in front of us. We become too weary, and so we close down, become automatic. We think if we push through the day, ignore this or that person, and get quickly through this interaction, we can avoid any pain, that at the end of the day we will have some peace.  I know that noticing someone's body language gives you so many gifts. By keeping you fully engaged, authentic and connected you share the pain of others and you share their joy. 
So today, choose some being, be it a child, sweetie, coworker or spotted pet and notice them, feel what they are feeling, be present with them and fully and completely alive.

This just hit me so hard.  It was one of the most meaningful things I have ever read.  Thank you for this book.  I can’t wait to receive the other.  I feel I was blessed to have been chosen as a participant in (your program).  This part of the course has been amazing.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Was Jian Ghomeshi Truly Apologetic in his Apology Statement?

Was Jian Ghomeshi Truly Apologetic in his Apology Statement?

I did a radio interview On Corus Radio Toronto analyzing the content of Jian Ghomeshi statement.

My insights below:
Look below at the apology statement of Jian Ghomeshi in its written version.  It’s a very extensive apology that goes into a great deal of detail about what he did wrong and its effect and into how much he has learned. I can say that I have been analyzing apology statements for many years and I have never seen this level of detail and introspection. I would have liked him to repeat the apology and say, “I am so sorry.” But other than that the content analysis, which is part of a deception/credibility analysis of the content of his apology shows he has thought about this a great deal and that he has come to a new perspective on his past behavior which is a deeper apology that just saying, “ I apologize.” Count the number of times he says, “I” in the four paragraphs and see how much of the apology is about his status, his feelings and his reflection and you can see that he is highly self-focused. Not the best thing for an apology statement, but pretty standard among politicians and star athletes. 

Moments ago at Old City Hall, as part of a peace bond hearing that resulted in his last sexual assault charge being withdrawn, Jian Ghomeshi read his first public statement since October 2014. The text below was copied from a written version of the statement, not transcribed from an audio recording of Ghomeshi’s speech.

I want to apologize to [the complainant, Kathryn] Borel for my behaviour toward her in the workplace. In the last 18 months, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on this incident and the difficulties I caused Ms. Borel, and I have had to come to terms with my own deep regret and embarrassment.
I enjoyed a position of privilege in my job at the CBC as the host of a program I loved. I was a person in a position of authority and leadership, and I did not show the respect that I should have to Ms. Borel. I did not always lead by example and I failed to understand and truly appreciate the impact of my conduct on Ms. Borel’s work environment. That conduct in the workplace was sexually inappropriate. I realize that there is no way for me to know the full impact on her personally and professionally.
I now recognize that I crossed boundaries inappropriately. A workplace should not have any sexualized tone. I failed to understand how my words and actions would put a co-worker who was younger than me, and in a junior position to mine, in an uncomfortable place. I did not appreciate the damage that I caused, and I recognize that no workplace friendship or creative environment excuses this sort of behaviour, especially when there is a power imbalance as there was with Ms. Borel. This incident was thoughtless and I was insensitive to her perspective and how demeaning my conduct was towards her. I understand this now. This is a challenging business to be in and I did not need to make it more difficult for Ms. Borel. The past 18 months have been an education for me. I have reflected deeply and have been working hard to address the attitudes that led me, at the time, to think that this was acceptable.
I apologize to my family for letting them down and in particular for the impact that all of this has had on my dear mother and sister. I apologize for the burden my actions have placed on those dear friends who have stood by me throughout this difficult time. I regret my behaviour at work with all of my heart and I hope that I can find forgiveness from those for whom my action took such a toll.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Science Of The Perfect Handshake

I was interviewed by INC.com on the science of the perfect handshake.  Below are my insights that I shared with INC.com.  For more information you can read the handshake chapter in my book SNAP! Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma or go to the book's website www.snapfirstimpressions.com  The link to the actual article is at the end of the post.

Get a Grip - If you want to make a good impression, you need to know how to give a good handshake. Patti Wood, a body language coach who has worked with Fortune 500 companies such as Deloitte and Hewlett-Packard, shares her secrets behind the perfect handshake


Go for the greeting early - Wood suggests that you always extend your hand first, in order to rid the encounter of uncertainty (which studies show can bemore stressful for some people than physical pain). 


Use facial cues  Wood says that good handshakes should be accompanied by an "eyebrow flash"--a raising up of the eyebrows for less than one second--and a slight smile. "It sends a message that I acknowledge you, and I like you," Wood says.
 Scoop your hand upward - Even if you have a firm grip, it's still unpleasant to receive a limp shake of the wrist. Wood suggests extending your arm out with your fingers pointed downward, and then scooping your hand up into the other person's to offset a weak grip.
Put away the cell phone - One of the biggest mistakes Wood sees her clients make is looking at their cell phones while or before shaking hands, as it makes you look distracted and uninterested.
Face forward - Particularly if you are meeting with a potential client or important new partner, Wood says to face forward while giving a handshake, rather than to the side, to reinforce the idea that you are open and engaged in the interaction.
Prevent a bone-crushing handshake - Caught in too firm a grip? Placing your hand over the other person's hand will restrict movement and give you more physical control over the encounter. Wood calls this the "double" or "glove" handshake. 

Close with a verbal accompaniment
Wood says it's important to add a "nice to meet you," or continue to converse with the other person. That's because people are more likely to recall the last portion of the interaction, in a phenomenon known as the recency effect.  

Link to the INC.com article:



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.