Alpha Signals Are Not Clear Signals a Man is Unfaithful.


Here are my rough notes in response to a media request Do Alpha Signals mean a man is unfaithful. I sent these notes in an email. I was misquoted in the article. 
Alpha signals are not automatically a signal that a man is being unfaithful, However Attraction and sex may create an increase in testosterone and creates subtle changes in the body like increased skin tone. Men may also preen standing taller. So they may be seen a bigger. They may also increase their size by elevating and pushing out their chest pulling back their shoulders and giving off strong alpha male signals. The broad leg stance is a particularly interesting. Legs held apart when standing provide a stable base for the person. Standing with feet about the width of the shoulders is a normal, relaxed pose. Slightly wider indicates that the person feels grounded and confident.
A wider stance makes the body wider and hence appear bigger and is a signal of power and dominance. This also takes up more territory and shows domination.
Taking a stable position is readying the body in case the other person attacks. So it may show that a man has a new mate he wants to guard.
Open legs displays makes the males sex organs vulnerable, showing, “I am so strong you won’t even attempt to hurt me, I am fearless.  This display can be a sexual display (especially men to women) or a show of power (especially between men).

Legs planted firmly and far apart (more than 9 inches apart) is primarily a mail pelvic display. It is a way of saying. This is my space, I own it and I am not moving. Its an alpha signal because it highlights the males external sex organs. Saying I am man.



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

5 Reasons Women Believe Their Cheating Lovers Aren't Lying


The media piece I did last week on the body language signs of cheating just came out this morning.

That piece inspired me to write “5 Reasons Women Believe Their Cheating Lovers Aren’t Lying” by Patti Wood professional speaker and author of Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.

If you read this and suspect your sweetie of cheating talk to him. You may get an honest response. Do know that if you see the signs and wonder why you didn’t notice and fell for the deceit you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Here are four reasons you may have been fooled.

Loving body language is the opposite of lying body language - I share in all my Establishing Credibility and Detecting Deception programs that the research on deception shows that the person you love can lie with the greatest ease. In part because loving body language is the antithesis of deception body language and in addition your love makes you want to trust.

Let’s just look at just a few of the body language cues that can confuse you. When people lie they tend to withdrawal, not touch you and not match and mirror your body language. Your love partner may be physically close, sleep in the same bed, touch you, match and mirror you and even continue to make significant eye contact, and other loving cues that can fool you into thinking they are truth tellers. Most people feel guilty when they lie and or fear being discovered so they show stress cues when they lie and have difficulty lying well. So Everyday liars have tells! 
Professional liars such as undercover cops, may not feel guilt because they need to lie to do their job and survive. And liars who have mental health issues may not have tells because they just plain don't feel guilt or remorse.  

Your love can create a “Truth Bias”Research shows that as we become more trusting, we also become more confident, but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told (Levine & McCornack, 1992; McCornack & Parks, 1986)

When people are in love, they of course feel close and trust in their romantic partners and know them well and think they know everything about them. While this trust provides people with a sense of security and comfort, it creates an opportunity for deception called the “truth bias.” Your blind faith in your love makes you ripe for deceit as the very foundation of intimacy is that you trust so who is a better victim than the person who believes you the most!

You may think you have gained an extra special ability detect lies from your love- Because you spend so much time with them and believe their is intimacy you think you know them like no one else knows them. In fact, as intimacy increase so does your confidence in your ability to read you man. Even when part of you feel there is something wrong if someone else tells you, "He is lying", or "He is dating someone else." You may feel or say, "Oh, I know him, he would never do that."

You may have lost trust in yourself that would help you be discerning - You may also get lost in the instability of the crazy tilt and whirl. E
ven when you do know something is wrong, and talk to your partner and they continue to lie, to the extent you begin to lose faith in instincts and question your very honest and accurate feelings of insecurity. You can tilt back and forth between absolute trust and absolute lack of trust. You can look them in the eye and say, “I know something’s wrong.” And they can look you in the eye and say, “Darling I would never do anything to hurt you,” and lean in to kiss you and rub your back. You feel at a gut level the  mismatch of love and deception being presented together. It can be intense and painful. You want to claim the love message’s truth but at some level you know something is wrong. This may swirl you into a crazy tilt and whirl of instability. Again the messages of love and the messages of a lack of love that feel like the lack of love or decent, "I love you I want you I need you, but I have to go out of town for a week and I will be out of touch." The cheater can even create this crazy tilt and whirl without malice. They may love you, but they lie because they just happen to also love and or be attracted to someone else too. Or they may create the crazy ride out of more selfish reasons, such as the desire for power, control, thrills or mental health issues such as narcissism. (Google the term Love Bombing for more information for more information on the more malicious form of this crazy making.) 

Some lovers are really good at lying - Lying over and over again on a sometimes daily basis to your lover can make you an expert liar. That doesn't make them inherently horrible people, just people that may no longer give you the normal nonverbal and verbal signs of deceit. Some lying lovers may justify their lying by saying to themselves, "I don't want her to know because it would hurt her and I want to save her pain." and therefore not show nonverbal signs of guilt. Their fear level may be low, as they know they have succeeded at lying in the past. Conversely lying lovers may have a desire for excitement and or feelings of power that living on the edge, and undercover may provide. They may get some of that power derived from the “dupers delight,” that thrill some people get at fooling someone. They also may be “good” at lying because they generally love the partner they are cheating on or may think that in order not to lose them and or their lifestyle they must lie. Survival liars can also rationalize their lies in a way that reduces and eliminates normal deception cues. The carnival ride that the cheater can create that may allow them to continue their deceit and from which, in some cases, may allow them to continue to feel powerful, and or believe that they had a right to cheat because you are needy or crazy. Fascinating because they are the instigators of that instability, they run the crazy tilt and whirl.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why White Supremacist Men May Believe That They are Attractive to Women.

Today a magazine asked me this question, "Why do white supremacist men believe they are attractive and can sleep with whoever they want?" It's following this:
https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/896545206245445632
By Patti Wood, Professional Speaker, researcher and author of “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

I am feeling disgust and outrage toward the white supremacist Coincidentally, I have been asked by the media to respond to a twitter feed that is going wild right now in which a white supremacists states that women are attracted to them and want to sleep with them. Here are the eight reasons I think they may be saying this.

8 Reasons that white supremacist men (accurately one crazy guy on twitter) may feel that women find them attractive and or that they can have any women they want and or claim that women like dangerous men so they (one crazy guy on twitter) can have any women they like?

1.      They may misinterpret attention as attraction -These white supremacist angry men may experience that they get noticed when they express their anger, and ironically conclude, that the attention means they are attractive, when in fact they are noticed and people continue to pay attention to them because we notice and pay attention to what is dangerous. Here is the research on that. Angry Men Get Noticed. (Do Angry Men Get Noticed? Science Daily (June 7, 2006) — by comparing how quickly human facial expressions of different types are detected in a crowd of neutral faces, researchers have demonstrated that male angry faces are a priority for visual processing.) They may spin that as they did in the twitter feed.

2.      Their groups may encourage and allow them to show power cues that increase their sense of power and entitlement. The four first impression factors according to research are credibility, likeability, attractiveness and power. Power is communicated by several factors most related to alpha characteristics. Two of those are size and bulk. Others are taking over space, large gestures, gesturing with objects, carrying weapons such as marching or attacking and loudness like yelling and shouting.
3.      They may believe all women like dangerous men. Popular culture may foster that “Bad” boys may seem to show characteristics of good mates like high testosterone. For example, nonverbal research indicates that smiling is an indication of low testosterone and lack of smiling is an indication of high testosterone. I talk about anger and power in the points that follow, but there is also popular culture’s take on bad boy attraction. https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/why-women-love-bad-boys-2015-11

4.      They may have seen women have an intense physiological response to their danger signals. But do women really LIKE dangerous men? I believe women are afraid of dangerous men. Some women misidentify their body’s response to danger as attraction. I have coined the term for what happens as danger at first sight.  They see a dangerous man and their limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint response. Women may misread their physiological responses to danger such as increased heart rate, pulse, flushing, panting, increases in adrenaline and cortisol and say, “Oh!, when it may really be the central nervous systems way of saying, “Run, for the hills, (or faint, freeze or fight.)
5.      They may have felt empowered by their anger and see its effects.  Anger can make others perceive you as powerful. Research shows that angry people are more likely to get promoted, perceived as more competent, and showing leadership and capability. (see my article for more details  http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=7831)
 I believe that is because it temporality makes you feel powerful when underneath you feel powerless. For example we know that many domestic violence cases arise when spouses who have lost or do not have a job have a feeling of powerlessness that can create a need to dominate whoever they feel is weaker. So angry men, especially when riled up in a frenzy of a fight/march may feel they can dominate and have what they want. Anger increases the heart rate and blood pressure of the angry person speaking and the listener. That can make those that are feeling anger stronger, Anger is considered the most highly contagious emotion and it spreads. Research also says it is a persuasive emotion.

6.      They may suffer from Insular Group Comparison – By that very notion WS groups are isolated from the larger society and that isolation can make those within it compare themselves only to the small group of men within rather than ALL men. By bases of comparison, they then can find themselves more attractive. See bottom of page for more on group think.

7.      They may suffer from Group think- Irving Janis defined it, “occurs when a group makes faulty decisions, and has illusion of invulnerability and excessive optimism.” The “draw” to white supremacist groups is that you have more to gain (from joining) the possibility of money fame, power. (https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2002/author-kathleen-blee-discusses-role-women-white-supremacist-groups)
So if you are isolated in this group of men who tell you, “Dude, we have got the power,” “We can have any women we want then your group think can make you think it is true and dissenting from that viewpoint may cost you membership in the group and not just execution but dangerous repercussions if you leave.

8.      They may see women in their groups that kowtow and globalize their behavior to all women. There are also women in these groups and from the small amount of research out there, the women in the groups have to kowtow and obey the men in the group. So the men isolated in the group, may come to believe ALL women see them as powerful and that they will bow down.
Janis Irving has documented eight symptoms of groupthink:


  1. Illusion of invulnerability –Creates excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.
  2. Collective rationalization – Members discount warnings and do not reconsider their assumptions.
  3. Belief in inherent morality – Members believe in the rightness of their cause and therefore ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.
  4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Negative views of “enemy” make effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.
  5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Members are under pressure not to express arguments against any of the group’s views.
  6. Self-censorship – Doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus are not expressed.
  7. Illusion of unanimity – The majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.
  8. Self-appointed ‘mindguards’ – Members protect the group and the leader from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decision
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Your Life Has an Impact and Listening for the Pain

I love my neighborhood. We have a neighborhood Facebook page and for a long time one of our neighbors, Lisa, was the monitor and really the "mom" of our page. Responding to questions like, “I need an honest plumber.” “Hey, does anybody know who owns the white corvette that is currently speeding down Superior Ave?” She made sure that we didn’t fall into negative political discourse, that humor was encouraged in posts and good deeds acknowledged. In addition, Lisa also helped create our neighborhood’s little “mailbox library” of donated books, getting our neighbors to build and paint them artistically and managing the books availability. She spruced up our main road bridge and helped guide our neighborhood watch and went to all our neighborhood events. I never talked to her on the phone, and I only met her once face to face, we connected on the page a handful of times but I felt she was an incredible neighbor, the one that kept us sane, happy and connected. Every life has an impact. Sadly, a few weeks ago she passed away at 52. The neighborhood poured out its support, setting up a go fund me page so we could dedicate a bench and bridge in our park to her and to have a ceremony in the park to honor her. I was so touched that she was so loved with messages on the Facebook page from by well over a 1,000 people in our hood. Her everyday actions, her constant support affected us all so positively. Thank the people in your life that like Lisa make a difference. Thank them today. This is an incredible positive part of Lisa’s story. She made a significant difference to so many lives.

Days later we got even sadder news, posted by her family who felt Lisa would want others to know. Lisa committed suicide. We were dumbstruck. We learned that she had horrible fatigue and her health plan doctors couldn’t diagnose its source. We had no idea she was sick. So there is a sad health care story, the internet is not enough story to this but, and there is another story that calls out, the unheard pain story. She offered support for all of us. She helped guide us to all the resources for our problems, and I know I feel that I was not there for her. I am ashamed I was not a better neighbor. This has haunted me. I think about her family, her mom and sister and I think about all of us here in the neighborhood that will miss her.

Now on our Facebook page, there are details of counselors and support groups. The book club that had been closed to new members has opened up so all are welcome. There is a meditation group starting, we supported a neighbor who lost her job. But, there are still voices out there. Voices that are calling and need to be heard. It’s something to think about.  I hate feeling powerless. Some of you know I have recently started writing and recording songs. It is a very healing art. It brings me such bliss! So I wrote a song in Lisa’s memory. The lyrics are not about Lisa her family or about her pain. It’s a gentle reminder to listen. I am listening.

Here are the lyrics to the song.
Ache Down the Line
By Patti Wood
Momma calls its three am, she’s fallen out of bed again,

Nothings broken her bones are fine, but I can hear her loneliness ache down the line.
I pack a bag get on the road, driving through the morning cold.
In her chair when I call again, I can hear her need and fear ache down the line.

God it’s hard, to make do, trying our best struggling through, 

We want someone to hear our crying, hear our loneness ache down the line.

Call my sister when it gets light. Fill her in on Mommas fright.

Baby’s cry’s intertwine and I can hear their distress ache down the line. 
Husband’s left for some blonde, Savings lost, to his bail bond. 
Power bill won’t get paid in time, I can hear her pain ache down the line.

Get to Mommas make her tea, wrap some ice round her bruised knee.

Turn on TV to unwind, ease our loneliness that aches down the line.
We look at old photographs, call back sis try to make her laugh.
Momma asleep call that friend of mine, let my loneliness ache down the line.

God it’s hard, to make do, trying our best struggling through, 

We want someone to hear our crying, hear our loneness ache down the line

Driving home to talk radio, people stories ‘bout love that goes.

He up and left, she drank too much wine and I can hear their loneliness ache down the line.
Voices rise throughout the night, hoping to be recognized.
But in the dark we are resigned to let our loneliness ache down the line.

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us Crying
In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying
In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

Hear us crying.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Macron's and Trumps bizarre handshake battle


Here is the body language read I did of Macron's and Trumps bizarre handshake battle for Mic.com

https://mic.com/articles/182205/a-body-language-expert-analyzes-trumps-unbearably-long-handshake-with-emmanuel-macron#.yBtTVLaHn



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump Handshake with French Prime Minister Macron's Wife, Body Language Read by expert Patti Wood

Trump Handshake with French Prime Minister Macron's Wife, Body Language Read by expert Patti Wood

http://dreamersintheround.com/workshop-registration/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language read for The Independent of President Donald Trump’s most recent handshake with Brigitte Macron (the French Prime Ministers wife) in this video

President Donald Trump’s most recent handshake with Brigitte Macron (the French Prime Ministers wife) in this video

Here are my rough notes. The link to the story will go up later. You may want to get my book Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma and reference the chapter on handshakes!


If you look at both videos of his handshake with her in the link you see it more clearly. Interesting that at the G20 summit and since then he has often been the initiator of handshake, where before he made others go to him, to maintain his power as in the ritual of leaders that says I powerful ,”You must come to me.” He actually takes a large step with one foot towards her then takes another as he stretches our his arm to her. Again this is different he is initiating and goes to her, releasing some of his power. But, then notice that when she steps forward to give him the traditional french cheek kisses how he grabbed her tightly on the upper arms, so tightly she is freezes for a moment in stress her feet together and her shoulders flex back in a fear response. She recovers and gives tilts her head to talk to him as a way of supplication to his power, but she tries to hold his hands to hold him slightly away from her he not only doesn’t step back so they are at a more comfortable social distance, (outside of 14 inch intimate space) by extending his arms, he keeps his elbows bend holds on to her hands awkwardly gripping them to extend the greeting, which is a bid for power and control over her. He then continues the awkward grip of her handshaking hand and jerks bizarrely upward several times, not letting go as if he is reprimanding a small child to obey him. Its very unusual. See how she steps back quickly to retreat from this control. I have conducted research on handshakes, both survey and observational research for many years and have not seen this rough grab and tug upward in an adult to adult greeting. As she tries to turn away and get away he continues holding on with his controlling grab and jerk up still holding her right hand and takes his other hands with a pat on her back that pulls her back and controls her from both sides to control her further and bring her close again and extend the greeting. By noting the timing of this pat, its placement and his facial expression and her response of her tensing and pulling away that it is intended and received as control movement. You might say, “Oh he was just giving her a friendly pat, that is an endearing warm or comforting pat, but clearly that was not the intent or the interpretation.












Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump Wins Handshake With Putin, I was misquoted Entirely.

Link to video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQIEbrEk9Y

Here is the article. I actually said something quite different! I said, he lost power by putting out his hand first. I said they started with an equal handshake with palm to palm both thumbs up position. That Trump used his left arm to touch under Putin's arm in a show of support and it was only when Trump tapped Putin's arms three times that Putin responded by giving him a symbolic shooting motion. Wild how different the story turned out. 
Here is the link to the story in the Daily Mail. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4675644/Trump-wins-handshake-Putin.html
Here is the cut and pasted version of the story. 
President Donald Trump came out on top in his first handshake with Russian President Vladimir Putin during their much anticipated meeting on Friday ahead of the G20 summit.
The pair exchanged pleasantries and what appeared to be a friendly handshake that was captured on video shot during the leaders' 'retreat' in Hamburg.
But to the expert's eye there was a power struggle going on between them, body language expert Patti Wood told DailyMail.com.
The American president makes the first move to assert his power forcing the Russian president to 'shoot back' with his finger. 
In the video, which was first posted to Facebook, Trump initiated full palm-to-palm contact with both thumbs up to 'communicate equity' and show that 'they are equal in power and status', according to Wood. 
Putin stands straight up without stepping forward as he allows Trump to come to him. Wood said Putin maintains power that way.
Both leaders smile and the 'smiles linger showing friendliness', Wood said. But the most interesting part about the handshake was Trump's use of his left hand.
'It can mean a lot of different things,' Wood said, adding that it could even mean: 'I’m in control of you.'
Trump’s left hand is seen underneath Putin's arm, which shows he is being 'supportive' while maintaining 'a bit of control'.


President Donald Trump maintained his control during his first handshake with Russian President Vladimir Putin during their much anticipated meeting on Friday ahead of the G20 summit. Body language expert Patti Wood said Trump initiated full palm-to-palm contact with both thumbs up to 'communicate equity' and show that 'they are equal in power and status'

Both leaders smile and the 'smiles linger showing friendliness', Wood said. According to Wood, the most interesting part about the handshake was Trump's use of his left hand. 'It can mean a lot of different things,' Wood said, adding that it could even mean: 'I’m in control of you'

Trump’s left hand is seen underneath Putin's arm, which shows he is being 'more supportive' while maintaining 'a bit of control' as he gently pats Putin's arm

In what appears to be a response to Trump using his left hand, Putin ‘playfully’ and ‘symbolically’ shoots Trump with his finger as if he knows what the US president is doing

On Friday, as the leaders kicked off their meeting, Trump said 'It's an honor to be with you', while Putin told the US leader: 'I'm delighted to meet you.'
During their sit-down meeting, Trump greeted Putin in a very 'unusual' way, much different from his other meetings with world leaders in which it seemed more as a 'formality', Wood told DailyMail.com, adding that Trump appeared happy to meet Putin.
During the sit down handshake, Trump took his upper body and leaned into Putin to shake hands. Wood says this is unusual as Trump typically ‘stays pretty close to an upright position’, allowing others to lean into him.
Trump also offered his palm upward, which is also not something the president does on the regular, according to Wood, who said Trump usually lets the other individual initiate a handshake.
‘His hands are centered more towards Putin. Trump usually holds his hands toward himself to show that he has the power and it’s all about him,’ Wood added.
But that wasn’t the case on Friday.
Trump’s body language with Putin showed just the opposite: It’s not all about Trump. According to Wood, the entire handshake was about the power differential. 
The upward palm shake showed that Trump is 'willing to be supportive', when oftentimes Trump 'likes to be in charge' as the alpha male. 
Putin on the other hand 'doesn't move very much' aside from when he slightly leaned forward as they were sitting down.   

Trump greeted Putin in a very 'unusual' way during their sit down handshake, Wood said. Trump offered his palm upward (pictured), which is not something the US president does, according to Wood, who added that Trump lets the other individual initiate a handshake


The upward palm shake (pictured) showed that Trump is 'willing to be supportive', when oftentimes Trump 'likes to be in charge' as the alpha male. Putin on the other hand 'takes his left arm and rests it on the chair with his elbow out,' Wood said. Putin's 'left arm is a shield over his heart', which shows that he is still guarded rather than fully open with Trump, Wood added


During their seated meeting, Trump continues with his manspread in his usual alpha male position with his hands in a steeple pointed downward. This position is distinctive to Trump as a guard position that also shows his power
'He takes his left arm and rests it on the chair with his elbow out,' Wood said, adding that it shows his 'left arm is a shield over his heart'.
Wood, who is the author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions Body Languages and Charisma, said this means, despite the pleasantries, the Russian president is still 'guarded rather than fully open' with Trump.
Putin's stillness also shows that he 'wants to maintain the power' as Trump takes a more 'passive position'.
Overall, Putin seemed 'at ease aside from the guarded elbow' Wood said. 
During their seated meeting, Trump continues with his manspread in his usual alpha male position with his hands in a steeple pointed downward. This position is distinctive to Trump as a guard position that also shows his power. 
Putin also did the manspread, showing Trump that he's an alpha as well, but Putin rested his arms on the chair arms, which made him look slightly larger tha Trump, Wood said.  
According to Wood, this showed 'a little more power'.
But most of all Wood noted the slight smile on Trump's face and his eye contact with Putin.
'That showed more than anything that he was happy and in the moment,' Wood said. 'A lot of times when he shakes hands it’s a formality.
“And he doesn’t always make full eye contact and when he does, he doesn’t usually smile.”



But according to Wood, Putin's manspread showed Trump that he's an alpha as well. Putin rested his arms on the chair, which made him look slightly larger than Trump, Wood said and this showed 'a little more power'

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body language experts see reserve, deference, power plays in Trump-Putin meeting


Link to article:  https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2017/07/07/body-language-experts-see-reserve-deference-power-plays-trump-putin-meeting/F4gQENMoghwUDICyidyWfL/story.html

For body-language experts, Friday was sort of like Christmas.
After months of buildup, after investigations into Russian election meddling, after considerable analysis, two of the world’s most powerful men — President Trump and President Vladimir Putin of Russia — finally met face to face at the G-20 summit.

Almost immediately, those who study such things say, the two began a nonverbal power negotiation.
Opinions on the interaction varied among body-language experts, but on one thing they agreed: For Trump, a man who has been routinely lampooned for the aggressive manner in which he shakes hands, Friday’s performance was quite out of the ordinary.
“Completely different,” says Tonya Reiman, author of the book “The Power of Body Language.” “Every single handshake I’ve watched — and I’ve watched them all — he’s the one who wants to be the dominant force; [he] literally makes you lose your footing.”
On Friday, America’s 45th president didn’t appear particularly aggressive at all. He seemed to keep a greater-than-normal distance when he shook hands with Putin. The violent pulling of his handshake-partner’s hand for which he’s become known was nowhere to be found. At one point during the handshake, he reached out and held the Russian president’s right arm.
In other words, it was all highly un-Trumpian.
Advertisement
“Most of the time, he’s got this warm welcome, he smiles, he comes right up to [people], he’s in their space,” says Lillian Glass, a Los Angeles-based communication and body-language expert. This time, she says, “You see Trump is very guarded. He doesn’t put all smiles out, and he doesn’t lean in to Putin — he leans away.”
To Glass, the reason is simple. “From what was swirling around, he doesn’t want to give Americans the wrong impression, and he doesn’t want to give the world the wrong impression,” she said. “He doesn’t want to appear chummy.”
According to Patti Wood, author of “Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma,” Trump appeared to show deference during the initial shake.
“I want you to notice Putin is standing up straight [in] his body position, and Trump is the one that walks toward him,” Wood said. “Trump is the one who initiates the handshake, and Trump is leaning his whole body — not quite in bow, but leaning forward as a bid to bow.”
For those who analyze such things, meanwhile, a few other key moments offered insights into the curious dynamic between the two men.
There was the initial height difference, for one thing — immediately apparent and probably surprising to some who envision both men as larger-than-life figures.
“There’s such a height disparity,” Glass said. “We think of Putin, because we never see him next to anybody, as being 7 feet tall. Big and tall and powerful. And then we see him next to Trump, and he’s a little guy.”
Then there was the point at which Trump reached over with his left hand to lightly pat Putin’s right arm during the handshake.
“The patting, notice it’s underneath and supportive, and symbolically says ‘I support you,’ Wood said, though she later allowed that the left hand being used in a handshake is typically [meant to signal] power and control over the other person.
Finally, there was Putin’s last-minute gesture, when he used his free hand to point an extended finger at Trump.
“The timing is interesting — that is, when Putin goes forward, and he points at the same time,” Wood says. “That is Putin’s bid to power because his hand is a symbolic weapon, so he’s doing a little shoot, a little bang.”
“It’s an authoritative move,” Reiman agreed. “You point at someone to demonstrate your authority, the power.”
The nonverbal jousting figures to continue, in some form, through the end of the conference Saturday. On Friday afternoon, a closed-door meeting between the two leaders stretched to more than two hours — four times its originally scheduled length.
Given the nature of the two men involved, and the contentious issues on their agendas, it’s no great leap to assume that both will be attempting to assert their dominance — in ways both verbal and nonverbal — throughout their time together.
But so far, Reiman says, Trump’s nonverbal efforts have failed to establish him as the alpha of the pair.
“We might notice that he’ll try over the next couple hours,” she said Friday afternoon. “But at this point, he’s not been able to win that battle.”

Dugan Arnett can be reached at dugan.arnett@globe.com.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.