What does cutting hair after a traumatic event mean non verbally? What does it mean when a woman cuts her hair?

What does cutting hair after a traumatic event mean non verbally?
No matter what the length our hair it tells the world who we are, without us having to say one word. Hair cutting can then symbolize any transition. It makes sense that when our outside lives change, we have been hurt, we end a relationship, we get ready for our wedding or perhaps a long trip to the outback or a new job that we change our hair, one of the first things people see and notice about us. What’s on top of our head reflects are thoughts and our emotions.
Some women who have been traumatized, victimized cut their hair as a symbolic self-beating or mutilation to show the world their pain, their victimization. It says, “I have been scarred and cut on the inside, so let my head show my inner hurt.” Sometimes its bulk and ability to cover us, makes it a security blanket, or shield that protects us from close observation and harm and cutting it away can says, “I am vulnerable to harm, I cannot protect myself.”
Historically, hair was seen as a holding power, some even going so far to believe it acted as a sense organ or antenna and or held memories. Across ancient history you find often that when people where conquered or enslaved their hair was cut to show others they were enslaved. It was understood that hair show power and that cutting it would serve as punishment. Think of the biblical story or Sampson and Delilah cut Sampson hair and the undefeatable Sampson was defeated. So cutting your hair brutally would symbolically say, “I have no longer have power.”
For many women, long hair is a fantasy women, “I am a fairy tale princess feature. We were raised on the perfect fantasy princess and Cinderella, Sleeping beauty, Snow White, and Ariel, they all have long hair. Sometimes our long hair feels like a beauty fantasy builder, Evolutionary psychology research shows that women’s hair is a signal for mate selection, there is significant correlation between hair length and age, (younger women tend to have longer hair than older women) and hair length and quality can act as a cue to a women’s you and health. So if a women has been sexually abuse would want to cut off what she may mistakenly believe her is the part of her that attracted harm so it says, “I cut my hair to show I am not longer want to be sexually attractive, in fact I am ugly so be repelled”  
Finally, some women cut their hair to symbolically cut off the old and start anew.  The hair cutting for them can is a symbolic freeing from chains, a liberation or merely shedding of an “old skin” or simplifying, making life easier and gaining time. So symbolic a women that cuts her hair can be symbolically shedding of the societal standards of beauty, cutting off expectations that she will act like a traditional women, changing how she looked in the past, and embracing a new self.








Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

A Body Language Expert Breaks Down This Group's Collective Gesture

A Body Language Expert Breaks Down
This Group's Collective Gesture

Here's an image that Kentucky University basketball fans can probably relate to after Sunday's last-second loss in the NCAA Tournament to the University of North Carolina.


Video of fans riding an emotional rollercoaster at a sports bar during the last 20 seconds of the game — which ended in a two-point defeat for Kentucky and a trip to the Final Four for UNC— went viral on Twitter after the game. As the weight of the loss settled in, many expressed their dismay with the same non-verbal cue: hands on the top of the head, elbows out to the side.

The pose actually resembles a conventional "power pose" — but with one subtle change, body language expert Patti Wood told ATTN:
This is actually a "slight variation in a cue that means almost exactly the opposite to what they're using it for in this instance," Wood said.
Traditionally, the "crown-and-cape" pose — as Wood defines it — is used when a person wants or has power over a situation. Think about a business executive leaning back in their chair, hands behind their head and elbows extended outward.



The hand placement is important from a body language perspective, Wood explained. Most of the Kentucky fans have their hands on the top of their head, as opposed to behind their head, and that's meant "to protect from a blow." "What's interesting is that combination of the elbows out with the hands on top of the head for protection," Wood said. "It's a mixture of, 'Oh my god, we had the power and we lost it.' You've got the combination of the cape, which would have been a win, and the hands on top — we lost the win."

If you watch the video, you can understand where that emotional combination comes from. Down three points with 10 seconds on the clock, Kentucky's Malik Monk gets the ball and makes an impressive shot from the three-point line, tying up the game.


Then UNC's Luke Maye answers by hitting the game winning shot with less than a second left on the clock, ripping the rug out from under Kentucky fans' feet.

"There's a unity of emotion — you're feeling it as a group together and that's what that photo is showing," Wood said. "You're all feeling that same loss in that moment."

Link to actual article: 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

T.I. & Tiny Faking Their Love - All For Show!

Patti read the body language of T. I. & Tiny as they celebrated their daughter's birthday....read her insights below:

Hmm. T.I. and Tiny looked like the picture-perfect couple while celebrating their daughter’s birthday together on March 26. But HollywoodLife.com showed their family photo to a body language expert, and we’ve learned there may be more to the photo than meets the eye. Get all the details here!

“If you look at the full ‘effect’ of his face, T.I. is showing displeasure and the fingers of his hand that would normally be held curled and held tightly together to show connection and affection, are spread out and held straight, with no bend at the knuckles. He is posing. Tiny is in bliss as she looks at her daughter. She is happy being with her daughter, but not necessarily with her estranged husband,” body language expert Patti Wood tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY.


These shocking claims are based on a photo T.I. shared from his daughter Princess Heiress‘ birthday party over the weekend. In the picture, he’s posing with estranged wife, Tiny, and their kids. “Brought Disney World to US!!!! #GodisGood #HappyBirthdayHeiress#ProudPops #TodayWasAGreatDay,” he captioned the image on March 26. Obviously, he seemed very happy to be with his family, but according to Patti Wood, it was all for show.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Ivanka Trump's Body Language in her photos on twitter with husband.

Here is a story I did a body language read for on the pictures Ivanka Trump posts all the time to social media after an event for her father, and how they're striking some people as awkward. 





atti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Your Body Language Is Telling Your Coworkers; Sometimes It's Subtly Sexual

Let's break down Kellyanne Conway's feet on the Oval Office couch.


http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/kellyanne-conway-what-your-body-language-is-telling-your-coworkers#/.WLdLWrkPHwY.facebook


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     
Kellyanne Conway’s ‘Sexual’ Sitting Position In WH Says ‘I Don’t Follow Rules’ — Expert Says

Kellyanne Conway marches to the beat of her own drum! The Counselor’s ‘sexual’ sitting position in the White House picture suggests she ‘doesn’t have to follow the rules,’ according to a body language expert we’ve EXCLUSIVELY spoken with. Here’s the scoop!


http://hollywoodlife.com/2017/02/28/kellyanne-conway-body-language-white-house-couch-sexual/


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Experts Dissect Moment Trump Strategist Steve Bannon Intimately Pats Reince Priebus

Body Language Experts Dissect Moment 
Trump Strategist
Steve Bannon Intimately Pats Reince Priebus

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Updated: Thursday, February 23, 2017, 11:57 PM
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Updated: Thursday, February 23, 2017, 11:57 PM

Chief White House strategist Steve Bannon got a bit touchy-feely with chief of staff Reince Priebus during an interview on Thursday — and body language experts have conflicting takes on what the intimate moment might reveal about the powerful men.
Several recent reports have described a rocky relationship between the two Trump administration officials, who personify the newfound polar opposites of the Republican Party: Bannon's right-wing populism and Priebus' establishment conservatism.
When they sat down for a joint interview at the Conservative Political Action Conference outside Washington, D.C., on Thursday night, that divide appeared to take the form of bodily cues — particularly during the very final moments of the back-and-forth.
"Reince has been unwavering since the very first moment I met him," Bannon said before interviewer Matt Schlapp wrapped up the chat.
Then, in a brief display of affection, Bannon patted Priebus' right thigh several times. But the touch apparently didn't sit well with Priebus, who flinched and hastily pushed his White House colleague's hand away.
Georgia-based body language expert Patti Wood told the Daily News that Bannon's comment, and touching, unveils a number of things about his perceived dominance over Priebus.


White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon sat down for a joint interview with White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus on Thursday.
"I don't know their working relationship, but Priebus didn't like that the statement implied intimacy," Wood said, noting Priebus looked down and turned away immediately after Bannon's compliment. "He wanted to separate himself from that statement."
The subsequent touch, Wood continued, "has a sexual feel to it" — which Priebus was "obviously repelled by."
"He doesn't want that touch to linger at all," Wood said. "It shows irritation … The pressed together lips and the downturned eyes suppresses his anger."
Bannon, on the other hand, stayed confident and even appeared to lean in a bit, revealing the former Breitbart News chief's confident control of the situation, according to Wood.
"He was rebuked like that and stayed planted forward, that to me is the most revealing about Bannon's character," Wood said. "The man is going to stay and not back down no matter what."


Several reports have described a rocky relationship between the two top White House officials.
But fellow body language expert Lillian Glass disagreed with Wood's analysis, telling The News that the two men are just engaging in a President Trump-esque moment of intimacy.
"They're part of that Trump affection, physical, 'hey, I'm not afraid to let my emotions out,' " Glass said. "When Trump likes you, he touches you and these guys are following suit."
Priebus' apparent striking at Bannon's hand was actually just a complimentary pat, Glass claimed.
"When you watch it, it's a very kind of warm thing," she added.
But there was one body language cue that both men appeared to be engaging in throughout the 30-minute interview that displayed discomfort, Glass conceded.
"Look at where their hands are — they're covering their private parts, that means they feel very vulnerable," she said.



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Five Mistake People Make When It Comes to Dating and Their Love Lives?


Five Mistake People Make When It Comes to Their Love Lives?
I did this piece for the media quite awhile ago and thought I would post it here. 

1.       Falling in LUST and first sight Lust at first sight is obvious. You are so physically attracted that it blinds you to what the person’s True personality or even an accurate read of the two critical first impression factors credibly likeability. Hormones are powerful.
2.       DANGER at first sight.  DANGER at first site is very interesting as it is a misread of our physiological responses to danger. When we see someone dangerous the limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint Response. We might misread the heart racing, breathless physical state and think this is so intense this must be love, when it may really be the central nervous system's response to someone very scary. So don’t date that guy or gal run for the hills.
3.       Love ideal projection- Falling for the” idea” of a person rather than the real person. You need to see what is there rather than what is being faked. There are so many cues given off in the first fifteen minutes of a conversation that are tells to the real person. From overly aggressive forward motions and ignoring your cues to closed heart and palm of hand windows and more.
4.       Frozen with fear –Fear can keep you from getting out and meeting people or going online to meet people. You may be afraid to get out there and date, because you afraid. Perhaps, you are concerned about making bad choices, being rejected, or getting terribly hurt. If you are already are dating or in a relationship, you may be frozen with fear when you are afraid or in pain. That frozen behavior can prevent you from saying out loud what you are feeling and prevent you from thinking about or sharing what you need, want and would like. If you stay frozen and don’t talk to your partner they may not know anything is wrong. In fact, they may just pick up on the fact that you seem tense or uncomfortable around them. So your partner may repeat the very behavior that you don’t like and make you more upset! Saying out loud what you don’t like and what you DO like, what make you uncomfortable and what makes you happy can be healthy. Make sure that your requests are healthy reasonable requests and are worded in a positive manner. (Example, I get worried that something is wrong when you run over 20 minutes late, could you please give a quick call if you are stuff in traffic so I know you are ok? “I love it when you text me funny things in the middle of the day.”  If your freeze in place and don’t communicate the relationship can freeze and die.  There are so many people frozen in bad relationships.

5.       Faking it – Pretending you love someone. Pretending you are happy. Pretending you are someone you are not. First of all that pretending is a heck of a lot of work and a lots of heartache for all involved. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Does Trump's Touch Effect Melania? Trump and Melania's Relationship Body Language

Here is an interesting piece I am working on for the media.
I have been watching it over and over frame by frame.
Note though she is slightly nervous with her arms close to the side and shoulders down how she she responds with a wonderful full uplifted smile as the crowd applauds her, and her head lifts and she continues smiling warmly and flips her head back to let her hair bounce in a really nice preening motion, knowing she looks good to the crowd.. She is enjoying herself in that moment. Then she sees Trump ( Who doesn't engage with her visually) walk towards her and you have several frames, most dramatically at 7 seconds where her mouth turns down, her facial muscles collapse down and her eyes go small and you see a combination of sad and mad. Then as he touches she her she jerks away very quickly and looks down and huffs out air. A very interesting response to being touched by your husband.
His timing, at her high moment and his tight smile and lack of eye contact, and her response make it appear he was not happy and the touch was an admonishment, rather than a comforting touch.
The clip can be seen in the following tweet:


https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/833085968617926657?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prime Minister Handshake with Trump

In the handshake with the Prime Minister you see Trump once again offering his hand palm up and the Prime Minister looking down at Trump’s  Palm up offering and keeping his handshake arm down and folded in and keeping his fingers interlaced in protective fence with the tops of his finger pointing out like small cannons ready to fire while his closed downward turned mouth showing he is not buying it!!! 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Republican President Trump's Handshake with the Japanese Prime Minister was Bizarrely Rude


Hi all, The world is shaking and not just from "45's" handshake to the Prime Minister.
Thank you Patti for your comments. The story is being very well received by our 47 language services and our online audience, as well.

...See More


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Handshake of "45" Republican President Trump with Japanese Prime Minister

Just read the handshake of  Donald Trump with Japanese Prime Minister for Voice of America.  I will post it when it comes out. Body Language Read of Trump's handshake with Prime Minister.

Thank you Patti for your comments. The story is being very well received by our 47 language services and our online audience, as well. 



Steve Herman 
Senior Diplomatic Correspondent
Voice of America


http://www.tmz.com/2017/02/10/donald-trump-handshake-japanese-prime-minister/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Recommended Murder Mystery Novel Series Best Murder Mystery Series

Recommended Murder Mystery Novel Series
Best Murder Mystery Series
List by Patti Wood

Agatha Christies – The best of the best murder mystery novelist and if you have not read her you must start now. She has several “Crime Solvers “in her various mysteries including Hercule Poriot. She wrote over 33 novels with this single character and 82 works all together. I read my first of her novels “Halloween” in sixth grade and since then I have read all over her novels short stories and plays many times. Why Didn’t They Ask Evans and They Mysterious Affair at Styles are among her best. By the way she is the most read author in the world. Another, fun fact, is her second husband (in real life) was an archaeologist and she went with him on his expeditions and wrote many of her later novels from her tent in a dessert!

Ann Perry - Victorian mysteries featuring Inspector Monk- Monk is a London policemen who has lost his memory and is trying to hide that fact. I love his love interest the very intelligent and strong character in her own right, Hester who is a nurse who served with Florence Nightingale and his best friend, the lawyer Charles. The books wrestle with moral issues and enlighten you on the realities of poverty, prostitution, inequality, justice, war, health care for the poor, the class system, parliament and more. She has a few other mystery series as well. The best of the Monk series is The Twisted Root. The Twisted Root, “The young man stood in the doorway, his face pale, his fingers clenched on his hat, twisting it around and around."  Her work is amazingly thought provoking and informative so don’t be surprised if you read all of her over 55 books. Here is line from Paragon Walk,   "Inspector Pitt stared down at the girl’s body, and an overwhelming sense of loss soaked through him. He had never known her in life, but he knew and treasured all the things that now she had lost."

Robert Parker’s Spenser series- a private detective in modern day Boston with a girlfriend he loves and honors, and a best friend who is bad ass. The prose is sparse, sharp and often funny. I love the scenes where he cooks dinner for his love and they cuddle with each other and the dog.  I have read all the Spenser books well over 30 and most of his other books.

Donna Leon - The books are set in modern day Venice. The “Commissario” Guide Brunetti has to work around the corrupt and quite broken police and justice system to solve murders. He goes home for lunch and his professor wife fixes dinner for the family and loves to curl up with a book. Prepare yourself, as you will want to cook or find good Italian food after reading any of the descriptions of his meals. I have read over 20 books in this series.

Andrea Camilleri - In this often funny, always delicious series set in Sicily, Inspector Montalbano. He struggles with sleep, his romantic relationships and getting his team to do their work, but, goodness, he eats very well.
Charles Todd -This is actually a s mother-and-son writing team lives in the eastern United States, in North Carolina and Delaware respectively. The best series is set in post-World England and  deal with the cases of Inspector Ian Rutledge, a veteran of the European campaigns who is attempting to pick up the pieces of his Scotland Yard career. However, he must keep his greatest burden a secret: suffering from shell shock, he lives with the constant, cynical, taunting voice of the ghost of Hamish MacLeod, a young Scots soldier he was forced to execute on the battlefield for refusing an order. (Yes, a ghost talks to him throughout the series. They are also the authors of a series about Bess Crawford, a nurse serving in France during World War I. I have read over 30 of this teams novels. The best is the Red Door, but it will only make sense if you have read the other novels.
Ann George - All her books are light and amusing. The main characters are two over sixty sisters from Birmingham who keep running into murders. I met the lovely author at a writer’s conference in Birmingham. Strange that a murder Mystery can make you laugh, but this book does. Series Murder Carries a Torch.  New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2000.
Diane Mott Davis -The main character in Mott Davidson's novels is Goldy Schulz, a small town caterer who also solves murder mysteries in her spare time. At the start of the series, Goldy is a recently divorced mother with a young son trying to make a living as a caterer in the fictional town of Aspen Meadow, CO. I really like that Goldy has a son, she truly take care of and eventually a happy healthy marriage. A happy family life is unusual for a crime solver in the murder mystery genre. As the series progresses, new characters are introduced that change Goldy's professional and personal life. I have read all 17 of Goldy books. I love that she has tons of coffee and chocolate to get through her "murderous" days.
Alexander McCall Smith - The Number One Ladies Detective Agency features Mama Precious Ramotswe and set in Botswana. Her main character also has a happy family life. I especially love that Precious adopts her children and she loves and respects her husband. The first novel was published in 1998. They are described as a “staggering success” and have sold more than 20 million copies in English editions alone and been translated into 40 languages.” I have read 17 books in this series.
Janice Frost - Loved all of her books. They are like candy bars. The one you will read and then want to talk to someone about it immediately is “Her Husband’s Secret.” Oh my gosh! just order it right now if you like light murder mysteries.
Mary Kay Andrews - is the pen name of American writer Kathy Hogan Trocheck, based in Atlanta, She writes light breezy murder mysteries.
Stuart Woods - His Stone Barrington books are addictive. Stone is a misogynist. He dates strong seemly intelligent women, and beds them with the speed and ease of ordering a cocktail. Stone and his best friend, New York’s Chief of Police eat out at the same restaurant for years but go through women like paper towels.  I am embarrassed to admit I have read all 42 of Wood’s novels, I believe with a desire to understand bad boy men. 
Jasper Fforde - "The Eyre Affair". It is a detective science fantasy novel. Hard to describe as it is more like science fiction that a mystery, but very fun to read.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Top Darker Murder Mystery Novels List of Recommended Mysteries


Top Murder Mystery Novels
List of Recommended Series and Dark Mysteries
by Patti Wood

Kate Atkinson -If you have not read her work start with behind the Scenes at the Museum and go from there.Her novels are wonderful, but often very slow hard reads. The detective novels are the Jackson Brodie novels. In When Will there be Good News -Atkinson writes about truly horrific matters, often involving violence against women, but she brings such remarkable tonal range to her material—four revolving narrators alternate between biting humor and somber reflection—you are  struck not by the mayhem being described but by the incredible narrative richness. Human Croquet (1997).  It’s not an easy novel, but goodness it is good. There is one passage where a character who was adopted as a baby by an older couple is discussed that says, they were an old couple who only knew about gin and canasta so they taught him both. She describes the character’s little quirks of body language so very well. The four Jackson Brodie novels have been adapted by other writers for the BBC under the series titled Case Histories, featuring Jason Isaacs as Brodie. I have read everything she has ever written. I love her work.
Defiantly one of the best murder mystery series in modern fiction.

Elizabeth George – Her Inspector Linley Mysteries are so well written. Linley’s partner Barbra Havers is one of the most interesting, vulnerable and authentic mystery character I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know in fiction. If you read all her novels you will get the painful delight of seeing how she handles a moral dilemma in case involving her neighbor and the neighbor’s daughter. I loved traveling the arch of her character. She is one of those fictional characters that feel like a family member, a troubled family member, but family.

Henning Mankell - I loved all his dark, disturbing and prose filled novels. Wallender has an interesting relationship with his father and his daughter that was fascinating to follow throughout the series and the best of the books is actually told from his daughter’s perspective. There are 13 books in the Wallander series and he also has other excellent novels. The BBC version of the novels was dark as well.

Tana French - The best of her novels is “The Secret Place” A year after the brutal murder of a young man at a posh school for girls, the case remains unsolved. Then 16-year-old Holly Mackey approaches Detective Stephen Moran with a tantalizing clue. French brilliantly and plausibly channels the craziness of youth and shared bonds of friends. Her other books are ok, but this one was special.

Peter Hoeg- I have only read this Danish author ‘s work “Smilla’s Sense of Snow” - After young Isaiah Christiansen falls from a snow-covered roof in present-day Copenhagen, something about his lone rooftop tracks--and the fact that the boy had a fear of heights--obsesses Smilla Qaavigaaq Jaspersen, a woman who had befriended him. Smilla is 37, unmarried, and, like Isaiah, part of Denmark's small Eskimo/Greenlander community. She is also a minor Danish authority on the properties and classification of ice. Smilla is never less than believable in her contradictions--caustic, caring, thoughtful, impulsive, determined and above all, rebellious. The best translation of a book I have every read the translator Nunnally won an award for best translation.

Dennis McFarland - A Face at the Window, Wow!  What a book. It’s deep, disturbing a ghost story, a page turner, but also a sophisticated bit of literature. I loved how it got me inside the head of an intelligent and troubled man. In that respect it reminded me of another good read from years ago, Presumed Innocent (a book that again was much better than the movie.) "One Monday morning about a year and a half ago, in late autumn, I woke with a vague awareness of a long dullish instrument of some kind, maybe the butt-end of a medieval halberd, being alternately inserted and withdrawn at the small of my back." The best modern ghost story I have ever read. Read this and then read Frankenstein, which is the best horror book of all time, and is written by a 17 year old girl.

Steig Larson –“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. I read the other Larson novels and found them to disturbing, and for a gal that’s read well over a 1,000 murder mysteries that saying a lot. 

Paula Hawkins – I loved The Girl on the Train. But, not because it was an especially well written novel. I enjoyed it because I found the journey of the Girl and the story so addictive and so sad and disturbing. More than any mystery novel I have read in the last five years this one was the most thought provoking, (The other is, “Her Husband’s Secret.”) I wanted my friends and family to read it so I could talk to them about what this character did and what they thought about the effect of her choices.

Michael Chabon- I just love his work. He is such an incredible writer. “The Yiddish Policemen Union” draws on the obscure historical fact that Alaska was proposed by FDR to become the postwar Jewish homeland, Chabon constructs a nightmarish world in frigid Sitka, where black humor is a kind of life-supporting antifreeze and where a browbeaten detective, Meyer Landsman, must stave off Armageddon. In delectable prose seasoned with all manner of Yiddish wordplay, the novel combines satire, homage, metaphor, and genuine suspense.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Do You Know a Stand-Up Guy or Stand-Up Gal? Are You a Stand-Up Person for Someone?

Do You Know a Stand-Up Guy or Stand-Up Gal?
 Are You a Stand-Up Person for Someone?

My dad was a Stand-Up Guy, and I didn’t know it. The other night I was talking to my mom about love and she shared a story about my dad.  Many of you know my parents met and married seven days later. (Read that romantic story here)

Sitting in the convertible on the beach under a full Miami moon, my dad proposed and my mother turned him down. She gestured to her hearing aids, two large transistors in the pockets of her dress and the chords going to her ears and said, “I can’t hear well and you deserve to marry someone without a hearing problem.” My dad responded, “That will never be a problem.” “We will take care of it.” And he did. My mom said, in the many years that they were married and she still had the hearing problem, he never once said, “You are not listening.” Or “You need to pay attention.” In all those years he never in any way mentioned it or demeaned her or made her feel less than.” Not once.  She said, “He saw me as a whole person, so I could see myself that way.” Now by this time I am crying on the other end of the phone, because I didn’t know this about my dad and my heart is just filling up. I fell in love with my dad again. I thought about how much love they had. It would have been so easy for anyone to such a disability as weakness against their partner.

My mom goes on to share that my dad spent years researching her hearing problem and after I was born finally found a doctor at the Mayo Clinic and my mother had surgery, in fact eventually six surgeries which my father researched, interviewed doctors about and arranged every other detail to make happen. My dad was a Stand-Up Guy. Suddenly, so many things about the deep affection my parents had for each other, how they always held hands, how she looked at him with love, even though he was a tough man to love at times made sense. For me this story was a revelation and it made me think about all the Stand-Up Guys and Stand-Up Women I know. The people that do the right thing, the moral and good thing, who give of themselves even for just a moment can heal, change and inspire you. How they can help you stand up in life. My father died when I was in college and my parents didn’t share this story with my sisters and I and I am so glad my mom shared it. 

I have been asking friends and audience members to share stories of their stand up friends, family colleagues and more. I have heard some beautiful, heart tugging stories. Stories about doctors that serve patients in extraordinary ways, stories about special moms and dads, of support through divorce, job loss, illness and depression. I have heard stories about open hearted mentorship, and even a story about a guy who talked on the phone to the wee hours so that a friend who was struggling could fall asleep comforted with the phone against her ear. What a great gift it is to know a Stand-Up Person.

I would love to hear more stories of Stand-Up People, so please send them on. Write it down, just a few words, or share it in voice to text or record it and then please share it. I want to hear about these people in your life and what they have meant to you. In my body language programs on deception detection and my programs on leadership I share a method you can use to recognize if someone is credible, if they are a person of integrity.  You can read the short version of the method here: http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=10452 

Good people make you feel good, and giving of yourself, being selfless, even for moment, can give back to you and enlarge your heart. Ask someone today if they have known or know a Stand-Up person and perhaps, pull your shoulders back a little and bring your head high, open your heart and know the strength and love inside you that always gives you the opportunity to Stand Up! 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.