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Body Language Read of Emily Blunt and John Krasinski


Elite Daily - Media Request: “How Emily Blunt & John Krasinski’s Body Language Has Changed Reveals More Than You Think”

See my body language insights at the link below



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Experts Analyze Princess Diana and Kate Middleton as Moms


I love to read loving body language,
Both women bend down to be at the same level as their children. "This is one way that parents show their children that they're equals," Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told GoodHousekeeping.com. "We see this with Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, as well as with Prince William."










Kate Middleton with Prince George in Canada

Here is the link to the full articcle. B


Kate and Diana as Mothers. 


Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.     

Apologies and Redemption, and How Toxic Groups Can Accept Bad Behavior, Group Narcissism



I speak on conflict management, bullying and sexual harassment and part of that work emphasize healing work and proper apologies. One the many steps in a redemptive recovery is the abuser admits they did harm and asks what they can do.


The article below shows the hurt abuse victim feel when the abuser gives a false apology. It is also interesting that is shows how a tribe (the church members) can accept bad behavior in a tribes member/leader (one of their ministers.) The tribal members think they are being good Christians to forgive him, but they overlooked the fact that it was a false apology. Not only was it not a true apology with the potential to help the victim the tribe forgave him when they had no right to as he hadn't given an apology from his victim.

Abusers can continue to abuse they can deny they abused, forget or distort the full truth of their abuses or they can choose to heal learn and grow! It would have to be a very safe healing place.
"To have him listen to me was almost the most important thing for me. And it was part of him being accountable and taking responsibility. It was so satisfying ... to have the person who hurt you sit there and listen to you and not blame you for it and admit to what they did, and to remember some of the abuse. Even though Steve didn't remember a lot of it in our first conversations, he started to remember."

https://www.npr.org/2018/01/09/576798813/for-the-men-metoo-has-toppled-redemption-will-take-more-than-an-apology?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social
Restorative justice!

Update. I find it Interesting that this happened. Then people outside the church, people not in the tribe, reacted that he had not acted properly and he eventually did step down. Tribes that are toxic often can't see their bad behavior. I believe this group felt themselves so holy they were, in fact, experiencing what I call "group narcissism". You can read other posts I have on that phenomenon.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

7 Charming Habits that are Actually Manipulative, Possible Tactics of Malignant Narcissists.

Here is a link to an article I did for Bustle on manipulative behaviors.

I speak on how to deal with difficult people including extreme malignant narcissists.
You've probably heard that when someone mirrors you or matches your behavior, that's a pretty good sign they like you more than you think. As Patti Wood, M.A., body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charismatells Bustle, "Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other."
While it's something that should happen naturally, manipulative people will take it over the top. If you reach for something at the same time, they'll smile, and explicitly comment on how well-matched the two of you are. As Wood says, narcissists in particular do that in order to create a connection. After some time, they'll stop, leaving the other person to feel devalued and wondering what happened. If you notice this happening to you, just take a step back and collect yourself. Ask yourself if this person really is worth you questioning your own self-esteem.
Find More at the link to the full article. 7 Charming Habits that are Actually Manipulative
You've probably heard that when someone mirrors you or matches your behavior, that's a pretty good sign they like you more than you think. As Patti Wood, M.A., body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma tells Bustle, "Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other."
While it's something that should happen naturally, manipulative people will take it over the top. If you reach for something at the same time, they'll smile, and explicitly comment on how well-matched the two of you are. As Wood says, narcissists in particular do that in order to create a connection. After some time, they'll stop, leaving the other person to feel devalued and wondering what happened. If you notice this happening to you, just take a step back and collect yourself. Ask yourself if this person really is worth you questioning your own self-esteem.
Maintaing eye contact is a great way to make people feel like they're truly being noticed. As Wood says, manipulative people will take simple eye contact a step further and set their eyes on you with a focused and intense gaze. "Hypnotic gazing is typically done to test boundaries," she says. "They may do or say something uncomfortable right before or after the hypnotic gaze to test how you respond. Sometimes, it may feel like love or seduction."
If someone's intense gaze makes you feel off in any way, Wood suggests to get up and take a break. Check your feelings and your body if things start to get too intense.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What I Do Before My Speeches to Be Open to the Needs of My Audience and Share What They Need To Hear.

I am very clear as a speaker that when I go to speak that it’s about serving my audience. I am there as a to serve, to aid in their growth, facilitate a connection and unique experience, to be of use. 

Before every meeting you attend and or run, before every speech you give you may want to pause for a moment and think about what your group needs and make sure you are centered and open to the messages that they may give you non verbally to help guide you. Be open. 


When I give a presentation I ask the universe, all that is good to help me be a conduit. I ask well beyond a corporate customization, using the nonverbal cues from the group and more "What does this group need to hear?" and I request that if someone in the audience needs to hear something special that can help them that I say it. I have been doing this my entire career. I know many speakers and musicians do this. It helps us stay open hearted. For me Its led to beautiful experiences. 

For me It’s been pretty much a secret to others that I do this until now. Of course I don't mention God in my speeches, but I haven't really talked about this important blessed ritual that is such an important part of my speaking. But, I think its time to share my pre-speech requests because it may serve you in any work that you do to help you see to the hearts of others and because in the past few months I have had so many many people share their stories with me that they heard exactly what they needed to hear. At times, there is a line of them when I finish speaking, sometimes tearing up as they share their stories. I am just so darn grateful.

I realized a few months ago God was giving me a double make that triple bang for my buck. In answer to my pre program requests and also the prayers the last few months to please get me through the hardest time in my life. I see each week when I speak that my brokenness is here for a reason, my internal strength is there for a reason and that the gift of these people sharing their stories is here as well to tell me all will be well, that I am in the right path, that I have more to do. 

To my speaker and musician friends - I know you have experienced audience members saying you said and/or sang what they need to hear and oh my goodness aren’t we blessed? 

And for all of us, we can start each day with the requests to hear and see into peoples hearts.. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Insights Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook's Testimony Before the Senate. Apology

This is a body language read I did for the Dow Jones news publication Moneyish on Mark Zuckerberg

Mark-zuckerbergs-body-language-during-his-senate-testimony-tells-us/

Here are my rough notes of my read including an analysis of his apology!

Body Language and apology analysis of  Mark Zuckerberg‘s testimony before Congress today for the meeting .
Forgive my voice to text these are my rough notes as I analyze Mark Zuckerberg‘s nonverbal cues during his testimony today.
I went back and watched his very first media interview where actually he seemed incredibly calm and slightly cocky especially as he talked about how users could enter their personal information at that time he thought sharing private information was the best aspect of the Facebook platform. It was quite dramatic how excited he was about that. Remember he thought it would help people find people to engage with socially and intellectually.
Fast forward to an interview several years ago and you start to see mouth window cues that show his anxiety in responding to certain questions about what Facebook does and about its privacy. In this interview he does what I have labelled tongue cleanses after he speaks. He sticks out his tongue and cleanses it with his teeth to show he’s not happy with what he just shared and that sometimes can be an indication that what he just said was not fully truthful. You also see him sweat in these more high stress interviews. And you start seeing him do a masking smile which actually looks like a grimace as he finishes sentences. The masking smile at the end of sentences indicates he’s not sure what he said is going down well. And just like the tongue cleanse it could be an indication that he doesn’t fully believe what he is saying they are scripted responses.
In the actual testimony before congress, I think what’s most interesting is that he’s even doing anxiety cues as he makes positive statements for example when he talks about growth he’s doing a masking smile so he’s not even sure as he says positive statements about his company whether Congress and the viewers are going to think that growth is a positive thing ... that’s interesting to me. The confidence in that first interview that I watched is gone today.

You may think he appears calm, but in his micro facial cues he shows extreme nervousness in the first hour of his testimony before the senate. I see an interesting mixture of anxiety and a little bit of anger. It seems the statements where he is showing anger or about what has happened that’s changed his worldview that others took the data and did bad things with it. It’s clear from his nonverbal cues as he talks about this that it makes him angry.
If you watch his nonverbal cues as he’s been introduced you’ll note that he looks down quite a bit. He actually looking towards his notes. This is a common nervousness cue that I coach my presentation, media and testamoney coachign cleints NOT to do. It happens when someone is nervous as people attach themselves to their notes when they are afraid of saying something wrong and or they are afraid they won't remember the right, prepared talking pointn.
He is also looking down a little bit in embarrassment as well. He is clearly uncomfortable.
You can see that anxiety in the tension around his mouth he gives a thin straight line trying to suppress his anxiety but the fact that his face is not relaxed and the lips aren’t turned up at the end slightly and a normal relaxed resting face indicate is his anxiety and fear.
Let me tell you what was interesting about his actual apology statement. I have a chapter in one of my books on how to give a proper apology and I read the nonverbal cues, and do content analysis of apology statements quite frequently for the media and I have been doing so for years. As you might guess
what I typically see is a "I have been caught, now I have to pretend I'm am sorry fake apology." Here Mark Zukerberg was honest. I see and hear a true apology. He gives an not just a proper apology statement but does so in a sincere painful to watch manner.
I coach my clients in situations that creepy fake apologies are worse than keeping quiet. What are some of the criteria for a true apology. First you need to say that your sorry for having done the deed. (Not the old, "I am sorry that you feel bad about what I did."
Zuckerberg says, "I’m sorry." and then he takes full responsibility even making the statement, "I own the company I am responsible for what happened.." and goes on to give details about what he did wrong. So his verbal communication his words lone are remarkable because they do with most people don’t do when they make apology statements!
Non verbally you can actually hear a break in his voice as he apologizes that para language. That is very difficult to fake. A consummate actor could do that, (he is not a consummate actor.)
You can't coach people to feel real pain. Here is something else that is unusual. He slows down slightly as he gives his apology statement is normal baseline communication is typically to give a very fast delivery inside of a sentence in this case he’s slows down his pace in the sentence. This pacing differance was proably coached. This is something I have actually coached my cleints to do.
But here is what you cant coach. Sincerity. The apology was effective. I think it immediately made people like him more. Again. He really did feel pain at what had happened and pain at his responsibility for it.
He had a lot of trouble making eye contact with his questionnaire in the first hour of his testimony. Something that is critical to making your answers sound real honest and conversational. I spend a lot of time in media and expert witness coaching working with clients on this. He eventually got that important turn taking down. Coaches often coach their clients to sip water or beverage to gain time and think of your answer and to simply calm down. But that can backfire on you as it did for Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinski questioning. Its just plain akward being the only one drinking and having cameras record it. That has to be practiced over and over if your going to use that technique to gather your thoughts. It backfired on Zukerberg.
Though he has a lack of general affect that makes him look a bit like Data, his answers made him look so much more intelligent than most of the ill prepared senators.  He eventually began to look like the most credible person in the room! Even as he evaded direct questions! So interesting. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     Here's What Mark Zukerberg's Body Language During his Senate Testimony Tell Us.

Anger And Hatred, What Are Powerful Speaking Techniques To Move An Audience?


I speak on nonverbal persuasion theory.  I have studied hundreds of hours on different political figures speaking over the years from Kennedy and Martin Luther Kind to Hitler. I have indeed watched hundreds of hours of video of Hitler's speeches, parades and interactions. I was the nonverbal communication expert on a six-part series on Hitler’s rise and fall. I watched the propaganda. Anger has the strongest pulling effect. 

In Trump's  Pennsylvania rally after the Parkland shooting Trump is seen speaking with not one not two but three blonde teenage girls behind him. In this rally speech trump smears, name calls and denigrates the credibility of the national media and trash mouths specific individuals. The speech tears down. It's not rallying people to a positive cause or a positive change. It's filled with anger and attacks without a focus other than to be angry.

In the background the girls make faces grimacing and smiling. And seemingly cheer him on smiling at the cameras. These are not young people standing up to a cause they believe in. They are cheering an angry guy. When I watched it a chill went up the back of my neck. Because these are young people who are being persuaded by anger. In the video, you can see that the girls don’t even hear the end of his sentences before they cheer or boo.  It doesn’t matter who or what he attacks. They just hear a few hate-filled words and react with their limbic brains to the anger. Anger is the strongest persuasive force. But, there is a cost. 

So what are the positive actions we can take? I plan on talking about this with young people I know and ask them what they feel as Trump speaks, I will work on being someone who will not only point out negative behavior but notice if I model better behavior. I will focus on positive action.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How To Question Someone to Get to the Truth. How to Question and Employee

In my Establishing Credibility and Trust and Detecting Deception Workshops, I teach questioning techniques similar to the ones described in the article at the bottom of this post.  

When I first taught interviews and interrogation techniques for a law-enforcement training center, the few books on the topic suggested the kind of forceful bullying interrogations you see on detective shows. But, I believed that the best technique to get to the truth was to establish rapport and trust and to listen carefully and observe body language. And I believed and taught then and continue to teach that interviews with victims and witnesses especially those who experienced fear or discomfort of any kind require great patience and empathy.

I teach programs for HR professionals, managers, C-Suite executives and business owners to interview all the parties in a Human Resource issue.  Here are two kinds of questions you that may surprise you with their effectiveness at getting to the truth.

1) Non-Judgmental Open-ended questions are essential.  Instead of creating stress by saying, "Tell me every detail you can remember..." "Or tell me all the details..." 

What are you able to tell me about your experience?
What can't you forget?
What stands out about your experience?

2) Sense Memory Questions 

Our sense of memory in a real experience is very strong.  If someone is telling the truth they experienced a real situation or situations with all their senses. They heard, saw, smelled and felt the experience. If,  in your workplace, you have an employee that is sharing a bad experience and asking for help and they are having trouble sharing the experience the questions below can help them recall it. If you doubt the veracity of someone's story you can ask "sense" questions to test their story. Liars tend to create a "word" story in their neocortex. They didn't experience it the true experience.  
Asking "Sense" questions will create a cognitive overload that is likely to create stress so you may see them struggle to answer simple questions and give nonverbal tells of stress.  With a sense memory question, you have the possibility of helping some "Re-fire Up" their memory as memories are recalled when we activate a network of interconnected neurons.  Because information comes to us through our sense of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. When we recall a memory we re-fire the same neural paths that we used to sense the original experience and in a way, we recreate the event.

What are you able to recall about what you saw?
What you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” 
How were you sitting standing or moving?
Describe the temperature, the sounds and the other feelings of the experience

(The five basic senses are sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. There are other senses such as the vestibular sense, thermoception, nociception, and proprioception)

I love that the team below where trained in interview techniques to help victims tell their truth 



Here is an excerpt from the articles. 
“.,.,,questions are open-ended and empathetic — more an invitation to share than a relentless hammer to provide a precise chronological account. “What are you able to tell me about your experience?” takes the pressure off the victim to figure out what the investigator wants and allows for actual recollection. “What are you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” taps into the victim’s deeper sensory experience. “What can’t you forget about your experience?” bypasses what the victim has forgotten and offers an entryway into other memories.

This article also shows the power and bullying behind the mask of a psychopath and malignant narcissist. This is a man who fooled the pubic posing as a great guy while behind the scenes he abused, bullied and smeared the credibility of his victims.

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.htmlhttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The O.J. Simpson Interview On Fox: Did O.J, Simpson Lie, Or Tell The Truth? Body Language Read Of O.J. Simpson



https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/12/arts/television/oj-simpson-interview-fox-lost-confession.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Quote to lift you up when things look bleak and dark.

Do not be dismayed my the brokenness of the world.
All things break. All things can be mended.
Not with time, as they say, but with intention.
So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.
The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is in you.
By L.R. Knost.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Tools to Reduce First Date Stress

Tools To Reduce First Date Stress 

by Patti Wood Author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma. www.PattiWood.net
  1. Relaxation Technique and anchoring :  Tension and stress can literally make your make your heart race so before your date, even in the days leading up to it start training your mind and body to let go of stress. Put aside a few minutes of time in which you can fully relax. That may mean lying down or sitting in a comfortable chair breathing and tensing and relaxing your muscles. You start by breathing in deeply on a count of three, and tensing and relaxing your feet by pointing them downwards and then go through all your major muscle groups going up from your feet up through your legs, stomach, throat, jaw, and facial muscles. As you tense and release, breathe in on a slow count of three, hold three, and release on a slow count of three, the entire time. You may relax by closing your eyes, or looking at a peaceful scene (such as a photograph of water or the trees outside your window), or even by taking a walk. When you feel your body totally relaxed, place your hand on your belly, and breathe in and out slowly. The hand on your stomach becomes a physical anchor, linking you to a memory of your relaxed state. If you practice this technique any time your put your hand on your stomach your bodies muscle memory will recall the state and you will instantly be relaxed. Now whenever you get nervous before a first date, place your hand on your stomach and relax!
  2. Visualization:  When we are nervous about a first date, we tend to imagine everything that can go wrong and have the video looping in our brain of all those imagined mishaps. You can reduce your stress by replacing a script of a failing with a script of a wonderful successful first date. When you are under stress your brain goes to the script we have rehearsed the most and that involved the most senses. So imagining your date the way, encompassing all the senses. Get in a relaxed state and imagine yourself being on a great first date. If you can see or imagine the actual place you are going, if you can picture that exact space and your date sitting with you. See yourself in the clothes you will be in, feel your body move confidently and hear yourself speak with ease and energy. Visualize the strong eye contact you’re making. See in your mind your date smiling and interested in what you are saying and you doing the same for your date. Feel the strong connection. Let the strong sense of confidence fill you up and embrace the excitement, enthusiasm, and energy of that meeting. Hear in your mind your own strong voice, as well as the laughter of you and your date. Feel the ease of being with your date. Rehearse your first date success throughout the day and before you go to sleep at night. And have the fun on your date that you have imagined. 






Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Young Royal Couple's Body Language, What are Megan and Prince Harry Showing About Their Relationship?

What are Megan and Prince Harry saying with their body language. My read for Elite Daily News.



https://www.elitedaily.com/p/prince-harry-meghan-markles-body-language-on-international-womens-day-spells-good-news-about-their-relationship-8457524

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Body Language on Common Wealth Day.



Here is my body language read of the couple for Elite Daily.

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/prince-harry-meghan-markles-body-language-on-commonwealth-day-proves-theyre-so-in-love-8475669

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What are Megan and Prince Harry saying

CHRIS JACKSON/GETTY IMAGES ENTERTAINMENT/GETTY IMAGES
What are Megan and Prince Harry saying with their body language. A read I did for Elite Daily.

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/the-royal-couples-body-language-on-commonwealth-day-reveals-major-clues-about-their-relationships-8475991

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Are Belt Bags, (fanny packs) a sign of new quest for freedom! The Body Language of Belt Bags

To me the biggest aspect of fanny packs or belt bags is the ability to move with a great sense of freedom, to move in fact like a man. Here is the analysis I did for WhoWhatWear.com

https://www.whowhatwear.com/belt-bag-trend--5ac445dc11909

The Fashion Psychology Behind Wearing a Fanny Pack—Yes, Really

This trend is interesting,” adds body language expert Patti Wood, “because it allows you to move, to a certain degree, like a man does.” Wood is the author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma and provided me with even further insight into what wearing a belt bag, as opposed to wearing one (or, at times, three) shoulder bags, might express about its wearer. “I’d be curious to talk to the women [who wear them],” she adds, “and ask what’s it like not to have this dent in your shoulder and have this thing you’re keeping track of all the time, because it gives you enormous amounts of freedom.” This independence—be it moving “like a man” or simply without anything physically weighing down your upper body—seems to ultimately be the most common standout thread among our experts and insiders. While fashion, as Mair says, is a powerful tool that can be used to create positivity, the belt bag may be less of a gimmick, as initially suspected, and more of a tool to make a woman feel like she’s putting herself first.
“It speaks to a self-focused and self-care attitude,” Woods even suggests. And while, no, a fanny pack certainly doesn’t look like other forms of self-care we may be familiar with—choosing to stay in on a Saturday night so you can take a yoga class Sunday morning or blocking all your social media friends who give their two cents on every news headline—it also seems to be a trend that doesn’t ask you to follow, but rather lead. It’s nostalgic, practical, and doesn’t give a damn about what women are traditionally expected to wear or do or act. If that doesn’t feel very 2018, what does?

Body Language Read of Meghan Markle’s First Event With The Queen