Hand Holding Styles, Different ways of holding hands and what they mean.


Patti Wood body language expert hand-holding styles. Touch process oxytocin and handholding that simultaneously gives someone else that chemical pleasure and extends the pleasure longer than a normal brief touch is quite magical. It’s one of my favorite sets of couple behaviors to interpret because it shows not only the connection and confidence in the connection between the members of the couple but also potentially the power dynamics and passion and tenderness.  I have over the years of analyzing hand holds created names for the hand embraces.

Interlaced Hold –(Fingers of both hand-holders interlaced with each other.) There is so much wonderful mutual contact in this hold it typically shows a matching and mirroring of romantic feelings and affection. It's my personal favorite to see in couples and do with a sweetie!

Firm Grip Hold – This handhold like some others is on a continuum as you can hold partners firmly to show confidence in your feelings and show support through a moment that I see sometimes when celebrity couples are trying to avoid the paparazzi or a couple in going through the grief that shows that gripper is saying, “I have got you and I won’t let go you can depend on me? hand so extreme and over the top in the pressure that  marks or the blood drain that shows the desire of the one partner to control his or her mate that I see sometimes in couples where one is concerned that someone is after their mate.

Holding hands with palms pressing interlocking fingers and palms pressed show a body’s desire to connect. Woods warns there could be some holding back from a person who arches their palms or is awkward with holding hands. It also may be a way of comforting someone who is in pain or healing in a gentle protective manner.

Hand Rest Hold –One embracing partner had their hand out flat or semi-flat and the other gently rest theirs on top. This can be seen in formal situations and Netflix and chill couch sharing sessions to touch in a way that shows you care and want to be connected but is gentle and comfortable to last through the house so binge-watching. 

Double handhold – (with one hand on top and you're other on the bottom) For example, his right and her left and then take your other hand to press down on top of the held hands. This handhold typically is given either formally to show the bond of the couple formally in a wedding ceremony or to show the strength of the bond and or signal of a special moment of the bond say during or after the birth of the child. This handhold is also given in comfort or to show caring strength or the special healing power of a nurse or doctor or priest to the congregant, or rabbi.  

Gallant Handhold -This gentle and formal handhold lifts and leads. The photo below the handhold is not about romantic love but about gallantry. It’s a formal way to show honor respect and potentially help and support a woman walk, move to say in and out of a car safely. I see it given to the Queen by her husband and in the military, it was the way the soldiers that escorted the wives and children into events or the grooms escort guests down the aisle of the church. 

Leading Security Guard Hold. This a variation of the gallant hold, but instead of gentle formal showing or support it’s a power grip hold that’s more passionate and stronger where the partner, holds more of the hand and pulls and leads 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Nancy Pelois's Body Language during and after Trump Impeachment Vote, What does Nancy Pelois's

I just did an analysis of Nancy Pelosi's body language including her stern glare after Trump Impeachment Vote for the media. I will post the article when it goes live.  What does Nancy Pelosi's body language say?

 https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/12/9069021/nancy-pelosi-impeachment-announce-body-language-meaning



















https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/12/18/trump-impeachment-top-moments-historical-day/2687768001/
Patti Wood Body Language Expert go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

End of the Year Feedback - Motivation, Change or Pain

I was excited to see an end-of-year email from one of my clients years ago. You know the kind you get from your boss or company or vendor saying nice things. Because I  speak on giving effective feedback and give workshops on giving feedback and painless performance appraisals. This feedback showed me what I needed to do to improve how my others saw my work and showed me what bosses needed to remember about giving criticism. The client that sent the email considered me a part-time employee and for many years had been one of their highest rated speakers/employees designing and conducting hundreds of programs for their wonderful audiences.

I had had the same manager for years, but that had changed and now I had a new contact for each program that I never saw face to face, nor had conference calls or phone calls with. They did everything via email. I would get an email after a program with the critiques from my audiences. They were always excellent. I thought my contacts would know about my outstanding ratings. So, I was expecting a, "Thank you for all your years of rave reviews."

That is not what I got.  Unfortunately, the email was a form letter sent out to all their speakers nationwide saying that they had reviewed the feedback of all their speakers from all the audiences for the year and found two top complaints then, they listed them. Here is the thing, It wasn’t my audiences’ feedback of me. The two complaints weren’t things MY audiences had said about me. This was negative feedback that had nothing to do with me or anything I could control or help my fellow speakers change. There was no general positive feedback, no supportive or motivational comments nothing related to my actual feedback just the negative feedback. I am sure it checked off a box on a list of corporate end-of-year to-dos, but it was, at best, de-motivational. At first, I thought it was a slap in the face for all my years of good work, but then I realized it was a wake-up call about what I had done wrong with my interactions with my client/managers and a reminder about what I needed to make sure I taught in my programs about giving feedback. 

First I examined what I had done wrong.  I had not done my due diligence and called each new manager contact after each program when I got my emailed feedback and said thank you and gone over my feedback. This was something I used to do when I had the same manager for all those years. I wasn't doing it and that was my fault and my responsibility. I expected my work to speak for itself and it obviously hadn’t. My rave reviews were invisible to the head executive who sent out the email and I had not made them visible nor had I championed the value I brought to the organization.

I had occasionally forwarded a personal email or note of praise I got from an audience member after the program, to my direct manager for that program but, I kept that to a minimum because I knew each coordinator got the class evaluation sheet and I was concerned about bragging too much. That’s ironic as I have a program for woman leaders on how and why to brag!!! I had done absolutely nothing on my own to let leadership above my direct contact that I was an asset. Nada, nothing. We don’t have conference calls or meetings, so I had not reached out. Suffice to say, I have a new to-do list for that client for the new year. The email also made me think about you. The managers, team leaders, heads of volunteer groups, and parents out there that come to the end-of-year and want to send out an email. Here is a list of to-dos for end-of-year feedback

1) No surprises, most importantly no bad feedback that you have been saving up and now you feel pressured to give it out at the end of the year. Negative feedback should ideally be given immediately after the negative behavior has occurred and should ideally be given face-to-face or over the phone. You can follow my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method and book me for coaching and or a workshop on how to do this effectively. If you still feel the need to give it via email, darn it, call me first and let’s talk through the situation. No charge. Just call me!

2) Be specific and positive and personal in your feedback. What did they do, be specific and how many times did they do it? Who did their positive behavior effect and what was the positive, concrete result of their positive action? I lay this all out in my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method. If you want to run it by me you can email me or call me before the end of the year and I will help you because it’s so valuable and so important to do well.

3) End your email with an extra thank you. Something from the heart. Even if you’re a left-brain, just the facts person it’s ok.
The email I got was more valuable than I initially thought it was. Do your best to support and motivate people you lead. If you’re on my newsletter list, I have more than likely met you and have shaken your hand, I think about you and care about you and value you.

If you would like to read more about Self Promotion, Bragging that Works here is one of my articles.  https://bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/2014/11/why-you-should-bragg-and-tips-for-self.html

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language of Friendship

It’s a delight to read the body language of friendship in the AMA (American Music) award winning best group 2019 for the media!


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

I Would Love Your Vote!

Hi All,

I would love your help. Voting is open for top body language experts in the world. I would appreciate your vote. You just need to click here!!! Thank you so much!! You do need to sign in and can do that in several ways including via Facebook.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Greatest Fear of a Narcissist , Trump's Public Humiliation

The Greatest Fear of a Narcissist  
A narcissist’s greatest fear is public humiliation. How others see them is everything to them. On the surface, they feel that they are superior to others and have little or no regard for others and their feelings. But they have a deep endless need for attention and admiration a need called “Narcissistic Supply.” If they can’t get positive attention, they will act out to get any supply. The narcissists eggshell fragile ego is the only protection from falling in the abyss. If it is pricked or broken by public humiliation, if they are laughed at or lose the respect of others it is devastating, and they will respond in ways that seem drastically out of proportion with what happened


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle’s Body Language In South Africa Will Have You Cheering


Here is just one of Patti's body language insights of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle for Elite Daily.  You can read more at the link below.

"They are standing in an overlapped position, and they are looking at the same spot to share a moment nonverbally," observes Wood. "I just love how often he points at something for her to enjoy with him. He looks for the fun, and she laughs and smiles with him every time." It's so heartwarming to see two people smile with such sincerity. These two prove time and time again that no matter the occasion, their connection to each other runs deep.

Link to Article


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

4 NONVERBAL WAYS TO CONVEY MAX CONFIDENCE, ACCORDING TO A BODY LANGUAGE EXPERT

Whether you’re about to give a work presentation, have jitters about an upcoming date, or are preparing to mingle with your billionaire former classmates in a real-life Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion situation, it’s great to know what kind of body language for confidence is best to project. Below, body-language expert Patti Wood shares how to literally put your best, most confident foot forward.

4 expert tips to use body language for confidence

1. Eliminate barriers between you and other people

“Be awake and aware of the situations where you find yourself protecting yourself, your body,” Wood says. “You might do that with a coffee cup. You might go into the office in the morning with that coffee cup [saying] ‘don’t talk to me.’ It’s protective, it’s defensive, it’s a barrier between you and other people.”
Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to give up your caffeine habit (deep sigh of relief, there). Rather, when it comes to using social shields like the coffee cup, it’s key to pay attention to when, how, and around whom you’re doing it, because you might be unintentionally putting up a wall up between yourself and others. If you’re doing it because the person in front of you is actually dangerous, Wood absolutely supports you going into protective mode. If not, you might be doing it because you lack confidence in this specific scenario. “You can act more confident by taking the barriers down,” she says. 
Click here for the next 3 tips


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

6 Body Language Signals That Mean You're Interested

Patti shared several body language signals with Elite Daily that show you are interested....here is just one and check out the full article at the link below.

Angle Your Chest Toward Them
Another part of your body that you might angle towards your crush is your torso. According to Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charismakeeping your chest pointed in their direction can signal that you’re letting your guard down.
“Research shows that when people feel under attack and/or defensive, they protect their vulnerable heart area on their chest," she says.

In other words, angling your chest toward your crush can demonstrate that you’re physically opening up your heart.

Continue Reading

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

6 Ways To Subtly Let Your Date Know You're NOT Interested


It’s really awkward telling someone you’re not into them. No one likes sending an it’s-not-you-it’s-me-even-though-it’s-most-certainly-you text. But, nine times out of 10, that’s something you’re going to have to do (presuming you’re neither the ghosting nor the slow fade type). It would make that job a hell of a lot easier — or, if they take the hint, no job at all — if you could low-key send your date I’m-just-not-that-into-you vibes. Practice these cues to send those signals.

1. Break Eye Contact

It seems rude, but breaking eye contact when a person is talking to you and turning your head down and away will signal that you’re uninterested. “You have to be careful of [making] any moves that look smooth and ritualistic, because that can be [interpreted as] sensual. [Practice] more jerky movements,” says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of “Snap: Making The Most Of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma.”

2. Create Space

“The intimate zone is about 14 to 16 inches away from a person. So if you’re standing, keep out of that zone, even if it’s loud and crowded,” says Wood. She also suggests leaning your head and upper body away from your date when they speak. She does warn that some people may take this as bait and, if that’s the case, you can employ the dismissive move of pushing away. In a quick motion, push off the table or scoot your chair back. “It’s even stronger in its emphasis of being dismissive and [conveying] ‘I am done with you,’” she says.
Continue

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Position You Cuddle In Says Everything About Your Relationship


Patti shared her insights with Elite Daily on "The position you cuddle in says everything about your relationship."

If You Cuddle Wrapped Up In & Facing Each Other...
This one can get hot, sticky and plain uncomfortable (especially in the summer months), but it may be the position most indicative of a loving, mutual, can’t-get-enough-of-you partnership. Lying entangled in your partner’s arms can be a sign of true relationship satisfaction. “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair,” Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language, tells Elite Daily. “You probably finish each other's sentences and take care of each other."

If You Sleep Back-To-Back With Only Your Butts Touching…
Don’t worry, sleeping this way doesn’t mean you hate your lover. But it could signify your desire to stay a free spirit, even when you’re romantically tied down. Wood says that bottoms touching demonstrates your commitment to staying sexually connected. Still, simultaneously facing away from each other shows both your and your partner’s abilities to appreciate your own space, trust in one another, and remain independent. to remain independent, appreciation of your own space, and trust in one another.


If You Spoon…
According to Cox, spooning is the “classic happy couple position — you’re both loving and want to be physically close.” Wood calls spooning “vulnerable,” pointing out that it’s one of the most sexually tempting of the cuddle positions. Wood told Cosmopolitan that if you’re the little spoon, the position is sexual but says, “I trust you.” If you’re the big spoon, it may mean you’re protective of your partner, and perhaps a bit possessive. And if you spoon with a few inches of space between you, Wood said it means “I’ve got your back, you can count on me” — although it’s not as sexual as spooning closer.

Ultimately, what matters most is that you and your partner sleep in a position you’re both comfortable in. And while sleeping close together can be a sign of intimacy, sleeping with space between you doesn’t have to mean your relationship isn’t strong, or that you love each other less. As long as you’re communicating your love and appreciation for each other in clear ways during your waking hours, don’t worry too much about who spoons who and where to put your feet at night.




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Does Your Couples Pose Say About You?


Patti shares her insights on "What Does Your Couples Pose Say About You?" for Elite Daily.

It’s super common for couples to hold hands in photos. Wood, who has been studying handholding and other forms of touch for well over 20 years, says it can reveal a lot about the power dynamic in a relationship, as well as demonstrate a certain kind of tenderness. She also says the placement of the hands can indicate which person is in control — or wants to be.
“There’s just a wealth of information in a handhold,” she says. “Typically, it reveals something about connection and control. If a couple chooses to hold hands, at least one member of the couple wants to be seen as a unit. Look for certain qualities of interconnectedness between the hands, and whose hand is on top and whose is on the bottom.”


Another popular pose is for one partner to place their hand on the other’s chest or stomach. Wood explains that this may be just a practical way for the shorter partner to stay physically connected and express affection. But she notes that it can also sometimes be a way of saying “they’re mine” because the hand forms a barrier between the partner and other people. In order to distinguish between the two possibilities, Wood often looks for subtleties in the hand. For example, a relaxed, loosely cupped hand on the chest is less likely to suggest possessiveness than a hand that’s pressed down tightly for more control.
But what about the hand on the lower back? Experts agree that can mean multiple things as well.
“It can be very chivalrous or it can have a negative connotation depending on the context of the situation,” says Traci Brown.
Wood concurs, noting that it can show one partner’s desire to help and guide the other.
“The thing to look at is — how easy is it for the person to get out of their position? That tells you a lot about the power balance.”
Wood points out that it’s a lot easier to step backwards and forward with a hand on your lower back than it is with a hand on your upper back, which may indicate a message of ownership or control.



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Great Time in Boca - Body Language and Selling Program

Pic taken before my speech

Great time speaking on Body Language and Selling at the International Shaw Convention in Boca.  And sometimes the conference where you speak is over the top cool, filled with smart people from all over the world who want to know about body language and at night you dance wild silent disco and form a hundred person Conga line and head to your yacht. Well, you want it to be your yacht. The people on it seem nice. I think if I asked, they would let me have, don’t you? I sing and dance great “yacht rock.” Heading over!



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

High Energy, Interactive "Reach Out" Program

100 great people, mostly software engineers. When I say my programs are high energy and interactive I’m taking about how great my audiences are. I am so lucky. We had a blast!!

Check the video below to see the amazing energy of my audience in an exercise in my “Reach Out” motivational speech Wednesday.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.