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Hand Holding Styles, Different ways of holding hands and what they mean.


Patti Wood body language expert hand-holding styles. Touch process oxytocin and handholding that simultaneously gives someone else that chemical pleasure and extends the pleasure longer than a normal brief touch is quite magical. It’s one of my favorite sets of couple behaviors to interpret because it shows not only the connection and confidence in the connection between the members of the couple but also potentially the power dynamics and passion and tenderness.  I have over the years of analyzing hand holds created names for the hand embraces.

Interlaced Hold –(Fingers of both hand-holders interlaced with each other.) There is so much wonderful mutual contact in this hold it typically shows a matching and mirroring of romantic feelings and affection. It's my personal favorite to see in couples and do with a sweetie!

Firm Grip Hold – This handhold like some others is on a continuum as you can hold partners firmly to show confidence in your feelings and show support through a moment that I see sometimes when celebrity couples are trying to avoid the paparazzi or a couple in going through the grief that shows that gripper is saying, “I have got you and I won’t let go you can depend on me? hand so extreme and over the top in the pressure that  marks or the blood drain that shows the desire of the one partner to control his or her mate that I see sometimes in couples where one is concerned that someone is after their mate.

Holding hands with palms pressing interlocking fingers and palms pressed show a body’s desire to connect. Woods warns there could be some holding back from a person who arches their palms or is awkward with holding hands. It also may be a way of comforting someone who is in pain or healing in a gentle protective manner.

Hand Rest Hold –One embracing partner had their hand out flat or semi-flat and the other gently rest theirs on top. This can be seen in formal situations and Netflix and chill couch sharing sessions to touch in a way that shows you care and want to be connected but is gentle and comfortable to last through the house so binge-watching. 

Double handhold – (with one hand on top and you're other on the bottom) For example, his right and her left and then take your other hand to press down on top of the held hands. This handhold typically is given either formally to show the bond of the couple formally in a wedding ceremony or to show the strength of the bond and or signal of a special moment of the bond say during or after the birth of the child. This handhold is also given in comfort or to show caring strength or the special healing power of a nurse or doctor or priest to the congregant, or rabbi.  

Gallant Handhold -This gentle and formal handhold lifts and leads. The photo below the handhold is not about romantic love but about gallantry. It’s a formal way to show honor respect and potentially help and support a woman walk, move to say in and out of a car safely. I see it given to the Queen by her husband and in the military, it was the way the soldiers that escorted the wives and children into events or the grooms escort guests down the aisle of the church. 

Leading Security Guard Hold. This a variation of the gallant hold, but instead of gentle formal showing or support it’s a power grip hold that’s more passionate and stronger where the partner, holds more of the hand and pulls and leads 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Nancy Pelois's Body Language during and after Trump Impeachment Vote, What does Nancy Pelois's

I just did an analysis of Nancy Pelosi's body language including her stern glare after Trump Impeachment Vote for the media. I will post the article when it goes live.  What does Nancy Pelosi's body language say?

 https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/12/9069021/nancy-pelosi-impeachment-announce-body-language-meaning



















https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/12/18/trump-impeachment-top-moments-historical-day/2687768001/
Patti Wood Body Language Expert go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     






https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/12/18/trump-impeachment-top-moments-historical-day/2687768001/Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How to Give End of the Year Feedback and Why You Should Make Sure Your Boss Knows Your Value Before That End of the Year Review.

How to Give End of the Year Feedback – Motivation and Change, or Pain and Why You Should Make Sure Your Boss Knows Your Value Before That End of the Year Review.

 A few years ago, I received a strange end-of-the-year feedback email from a long-term client that was the antithesis of everything I ever taught about how to give feedback to your clients, vendors, and employees. At first, I was excited to receive an end-of-year email from this client; I was expecting a heartfelt thank you, some praise, and a “Happy New Year!” For more than 20 years, I had been this company's highest-rated contracted speaker. I had designed and conducted hundreds of programs for their wonderful audiences and gotten rave reviews.. 

This year, however, the tone of the email was surprising. It was not written to me personally — a contracted consultant — but seemed to be addressed to an anonymous problematic part-time employee. I was shocked.

The client contact I had for many years was a friend, but she had retired. This email came from my new contact. I had tried to get to know this new contact, especially since she had never seen me give a presentation and her office was in another state, but I didn’t try hard enough. That was a big mistake on my part.

 Since she was based in another state, I tried to set up an introductory visit via the phone, but she emailed me to say that she is “not a phone person.” When I communicated via email, she would only respond in formal one-sentence replies. After my programs, she would only email me a computer-generated form with ratings and critiques from my audiences. The reviews were always excellent, and I always got 5 out of 5 from my audience members. When she sent the emails, I always emailed back a few personal comments and said thank you, expecting tht she would know about my outstanding ratings.

 So, when I got this end-of-the-year review, I was expecting it to be like the communications I used to get from my previous contact: "Thank you for all your years of rave reviews."

That is not what I got. Instead of personalized feedback, I received a form letter, one she sent to all her contract speakers nationwide. It said that she had reviewed the feedback of all their speakers from all the audiences for the year and found two top COMPLAINTS. Then, she listed them.

 However, neither of the complaints came from my classes. They were not my audiences’ responses or reviews. This negative feedback had nothing to do with me or anything I could control or change in any way. And I am sure it was publicly humiliating to the speakers she called out. In addition, there no general positive feedback, no supportive or motivational comments to any of us. And let me emphasize again, no personalized feedback saying she recognized my worth — or anyone else’s. 

 I am sure this email checked off a box on her list of corporate end-of-year to dos, but it was, at best, de-motivational. I saw this as a wake-up call about what I had done wrong in my interactions with my client. And it will forever be an example I will use in my Performance Appraisal How-to-Give-Effective-Feedback Workshops for what NOT to do. 

First, I examined what I had done wrong as a contractor/employee. I hadn't said, "I know you prefer not to use the phone, but I’d like to give you a brief five-minute call after I get my email feedback so we can go over it." I teach the importance of check-ins. I had done them for years with my previous contact. But I hadn't pushed for that, and that was my mistake. I expected my work to speak for itself, and it hadn't. My rave reviews were invisible to my new contact, and I had not made them visible, nor had I touted the value I brought to the organization. That wasn't smart. I had also not done anything to let leadership above my direct contact know that I was an asset.

If you have superiors, are you making sure they see your work and value? As a leader, do you know the best way to communicate feedback?

Here are some highlights from my feedback program:

 1)   No surprises, and most importantly, no bad feedback that you have been saving up and now feel pressured to give it out at the end of the year. Negative feedback should be given immediately after the negative behavior has occurred. Ideally, it should be given face-to-face over zoom or the phone. You can follow my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method and book me for coaching and/or a workshop on how to do this effectively. If you still feel the need to give negative feedback via email, pause and call me first. Let’s talk through the situation. No charge. Just call me!

2) Be specific, positive, and personal in your feedback. What did the recipient of your feedback do, be specific? How many times did they do it? Who did their positive behavior affect, and what was the positive, concrete result of their positive action? I lay this all out with examples in my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method. If you want to run it by me, you can email me, and I will help you because it's important to do this well.

3) End your message with an extra thank you—ideally, something from the heart. Even if you're a left-brain, just-the-facts type of person, you should do this.

The email I got years ago was a wake-up call for me.

I hope it inspires you to do two things: make sure you have a good relationship with your clients, bosses, and managers. Make sure they know how you are doing and how valuable you are.

Second, if you are a leader, do your best to have good relationships with your employees. Make sure you know what they are doing and how they are doing. Give them effective, specific praise and criticism to support and motivate them.

If you're reading this article in my newsletter, I have more than likely met you and shaken your hand, and I hope you know how valuable you are!



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language of Friendship

It’s a delight to read the body language of friendship in the AMA (American Music) award winning best group 2019 for the media!


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Greatest Fear of a Narcissist , Trump's Public Humiliation

The Greatest Fear of a Narcissist  
A narcissist’s greatest fear is public humiliation. How others see them is everything to them. On the surface, they feel that they are superior to others and have little or no regard for others and their feelings. But they have a deep endless need for attention and admiration a need called “Narcissistic Supply.” If they can’t get positive attention, they will act out to get any supply. The narcissists eggshell fragile ego is the only protection from falling in the abyss. If it is pricked or broken by public humiliation, if they are laughed at or lose the respect of others it is devastating, and they will respond in ways that seem drastically out of proportion with what happened


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.