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Showing posts with label Body Language for Fun and Successful Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Body Language for Fun and Successful Dating. Show all posts

Should You Power Pose To Get A Date?


Should you Power Pose to get a date? New research on power poses in photos for dating sites says power poses in your online dating photo can make you attractive.  Here is the link to the article.

I have been doing back to back media interviews on power poses and dating, Here are my body language expert insights:

There are “poses” that make you powerful and “poses” that make you look attractive to the opposite sex. In general, the “POWER” poses that Amy Cuddy talks about are actually male power poses that make men feel larger and more powerful, full of testosterone and looking like the ideal Alpha mate to with the genetic make up to make great babies.

Generally, men who take up more space, in such poses as hands on hips and chest puffed out looked powerful, but that may work for them in the attraction and flirting phase of courtship. It may however be over the top cocky for a man to go full on power posing with standing or sitting with his legs spread far out and his elbows out and hands on his hips on a first date!

Women, of course, want to be powerful, but women who take on power poses and take up more space in the flirting stage are harder for an everyday guy to approach.

What does work for men and women is to have upper body OPEN WINDOW body language. You Keep your WINDOWS  by opening and or showing your  eyes, neck, heart, and palms of the hands, toes. What also works for posing is what I call ‘up’ body language.  It’s beautifully symbolic – you go up when you’re feeling up. Your gestures move up, your head comes up, your shoulders come up and back, your step is upwards. Your body language goes downward when you're sad, depressed or lack confidence so when you are flirting and dating focus on bringing your body language up.   

Here are a few more tips on approachable signals for women who wish to lure a man:  

Don't take up too much space - Taking up a lot of space communicates that you are powerful and superior. Okay, we want to show that we are strong women, but remember we are trying to get a man to come over and talk to us. You have to show you have room for someone else in your life.

Stand slightly pigeon-toed - Men usually stand with the toes 6 to 10 inches apart. Toes pointed inward or outward actually show your status in the hierarchy.  Toes outward say “I'm mighty.”  Toes pointed inward say “I'm approachable.” Standing with your feet far apart with the toes out makes you look strong and actually signals that you could attack. Obviously, you don’t want to look like you’re about to attack. Women usually stand with their feet 4 to 6 inches apart. To be very approachable stand with your feet no further apart than six inches and point your toes slightly inward. But don’t put them in so far that you look like a dork.

Shrug - When turtles sense danger, they tuck their heads all the way in to retreat. We pull our shoulders up towards our ears to protect our heads when we are startled. We shrug to show, "Hey it’s not my fault," to say, "I don't know," or to say, "Whatever you want." The shrug tells others that you are submissive. I have seen some women who are masters of the shoulder shrug. They make it look like a sensual feline move. Right now slowly roll your shoulders up and throw in a subtle head toss. 

Head tilt - The head tilt is not a uniquely feminine move, but it’s certainly done more by women perhaps because it is a signal that the head tilter is listening intently. A head tilt symbolically shows the baring of the neck to a superior. It mimics a head movement done by wolves to the leader of the pack that says “I’m exposing my most vulnerable spot to you to show you I know you can rip me to pieces. So let’s not fight about it.” Men tend to talk in what is called "boasting” fashion in the gender difference research when they are flirting. They will talk a lot about what they have done and what they can do. In those initial conversations (or monologues) tilt your head to show you are listening. And by the way, boasting behavior is not an indication of whether a man will listen to you.  So don’t think, hey, if he doesn't listen now, forget about him. If he’s not listening now, it’s only an indication that he wants your approval. 

Unfold your arms - This opens up your body windows.  When I am introduced as an expert on body language, people almost always respond by folding their arms in front of their bodies. Body language is symbolic. It often physically represents what we are feeling internally, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to read. Although there are over 60 different interpretations of arm crossing, arms usually form a protective wall around us. It’s pretty obvious that to get a man to approach you, you have to let down the wall. You don't have to stand with your arms stiffly at your sides the minute you walk into a party. Some people feel more comfortable with a relaxed arm cross when they first get in any group setting. Even if you do keep your arms crossed at first, eventually you need to open up. You can have a beverage in your hand, and holding it will give you some security if you need that to uncross or if you’re sitting at a coffeehouse, you can put your hands out in front of you on the table as you read a paper.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language for Fun and Successful Dating

I am working on a new flirting and dating workshop that will be offered in Atlanta in the Spring. Any suggestions and ideas?

 Body Language for Fun and Successful Dating
By Body Language Expert, Author and Speaker Patti Wood MA, CSP

Do you want to date and or have more fun and success doing it?  Would you like to know the signals that say, “I am attracted to you?” or “Leave me alone.” Would you like to tell a jerk from a keeper or a drama queen from “the one”? What are you telling others with your body language? Do you want to enjoy flirting and not feel like a first date is a job interview? Now you can learn how to subtly and sexily communicate what you want to a potential date or mate. Do you want to learn cutting-edge deception techniques to help you detect people who are “less than truthful?”  Then sign up for this high energy interactive humor filled program to gain an advantage in flirting, friending and finding the right person! Your will learn:
·         How to scout and work a room for fun safe dating choices.
·         Recognize top 3 body language cues to lure someone to you.
·         Increase the accuracy of your first impression reads of others.
·         Learn the one mistake that people typically make when trying to read flirting and dating   body language and how it can sabotage you.
·         Recognize “comfort cues” that may indicate someone is nervous, attracted to you or   lying.
·         Learn 3 secrets to having a fun phone call with someone new. (Yes, the ancient Phone!)
·         Two nonverbal tools to make you feel confident.
·         Three tips for just having fun on a date.
·         Opening the blind spot to your own dating body language impression.
·         Understanding the “Charismatic Factors” and how they affect your dating choices.
·         Using the best distance and talking position based on gender to create attraction and   increase honesty.
·         What part of the body is the most "honest?" and how you can use this to check for attraction and interest.
·         How to use your phone, texts and emails to create interest, and healthy relationships and not drive yourself crazy.
·         The three turnoffs behaviors guys do when flirting and dating that they may think are great.
·         The three turnoff behaviors that women do when flirting and dating that they may think are great.
·         Practice fun healthy ways to ask someone out and practice saying yes or no to a date.
·         Five cues women can use to look approachable and open for flirting and dating requests.
·         The healthy fun ways to use “safe touch” when flirting and dating and recognize the cues that other person feels safe and open to your touch.
·         Practice 5 ways to start fun conversations with strangers or on dates.
·         Practice 4 ways to deepen conversations that make you highly attractive and guarantee someone will want to go out with you again.
·         Four nonverbal cues that show you are listening attentively that make you “hot” to women.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.