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Showing posts with label Psychopaths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psychopaths. Show all posts

11 Creepy Habits Untrustworthy People Have In Common, Signs of Malignant Narcissist


Perhaps because of the popularity of a bizarre movie about Ted Bundy, this article I contributed to a while ago is trending today. It’s the third story down on google. It’s my hope that my work will help people recognize predictors before they have a chance to abuse. It’s important to know that somebody can appear normal. Abusers, malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths survival is based on their ability to hide their true dark selves. You can sit across the table from them for years and not know the terror and damage that they are causing to their victims. Believe the victims.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Cheater Hypothesis, Nature, Nurture and Psychopaths,

One reason that psychopaths ‘‘cheat’’ is because they have low levels of empathy, yet strong levels of indignation when they feel wronged. An employee can siphon off money from his employer and not feel guilty because he can't feel the pain that his boss or fellow employees may suffer because of the loss, but he can become enraged if he doesn't get back an 25 cents he is owed from a fellow employee splitting the check for pizza. I talk about this in  my forthcoming book on Bullys, Malignant Narcissists, and Sociopaths and Psychopaths

“Psychopaths are predators, who use their mask of charm, manipulation and intimidation and violence to control others…lacking in conscious and in feelings for others, they cold-bloodedly take what they want and do as they please.”
Nature, Nurture and Psychopaths

Primary psychopaths are individuals who generally show low levels of anxiety, empathy, fearlessness and emotion due to some intrinsic deficit rather than due to environmental or emotional difficulties. Secondary psychopaths show more impulsiveness, anxiety, empathy, and guilt than their primary counterparts. Their antisocial behavior is viewed not as an intrinsic deficit but rather as a result of environmental disadvantage, neurotic anxiety, psychotic thinking, low intelligence levels or other attributes that increase the likelihood for antisocial behavior (Lykken, 1995).

Cheater Hypothesis

Cheater hypothesis explains the manipulativeness and cheating behavior of psychopaths.  In the “Prisoner’s Dilemma’’ game where an individual must decide whether to cooperate with or cheat a group of people in order to maximize his/her own benefits. Psychopaths have been shown to exploit others to benefit themselves. This cheating may even go beyond the social aspect to actual cheating and dishonesty in financial, business, and academic life. For example, in a non-clinical population. According to the Cheater hypothesis, one reason that psychopaths ‘‘cheat’’ is because they have low levels of empathy, yet strong levels of indignation when they feel wronged.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Narcissistic Supply- An Explanation of Character Assassination and Smear Campaigns

I speak and write about body language and how to deal with difficult people including malignant narcissists. 


"Narcissistic Supply"- Malignant Narcissists (Those on the extreme end of the spectrum.) can't stand for someone to see behind their mask for who they truly are so they attack the character of anyone who is a threat to the false self. Think of people in your life or in the news who have recently attacked someone who outed their bad behavior.

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists do not have normal emotions. They can act as if they do, in fact, some are extremely good actors with a facade that makes them appear highly charismatic, powerful and energetic. But the energy they project is not really theirs, they get it from the energy and emotions of others. 

They may seem healthy and happy if they are fed a supply of attention. But, but if the flow stops they describe feeling like they are in dark empty void. So, they are constantly hunting for what researchers call the “Narcissistic supply" of other people’s emotions, to feed themselves and fill their void. Do you know someone personally or any celebrities or public figures life that must have constant attention? Do you know anyone who acts out, attacks and or creates tension and drama, pitting people against each other and dividing people? Harvey Weinstein is perfect example of someone who craved attention and drama.

Psychopaths/Malignant Narcissists (PN"S) search for “Narcissistic Targets"/ "Narcissistic Victims" that can give those lots of attention and emotion.  At some point a healthy target who is associated with a Psychopath/Narcissist may see the Psychopath/Narcissists for who they really are. Their "Narcissistic Mask” will come down. Being revealed for who they really are is Psychopath/Malignant Narcissists
biggest fear so they are prepared for this. It has happened to them before. Their false self-image/mask is everything to them. They must bribe, threaten, cast off and or destroy anyone who knows threatens their false self.  

If the target is a threat thetypically becomes the victim of a "Smear campaign" or "Character Assassination" to destroy their ability to be what the target should be, a credible source of truthful information about the Psychopath/Malignant Narcissists. 
Remember the PN gains supply from the group and they are terrified of loosing a steady supply so they must not just destroy the target they mus eject the truth know-er from the group/family/work place/political world so that the PN's can continue to gain supply from the group/family/workplace/political/world.

The Character Assignation and or Smear Campaign is carried out by the PN creating 
often vicious lies about the target who has unmasked them. Oddly,they often seem like they are following some play book in their campaign as the lies they plant often are the PNS very behaviors! If they are stalkers of their target they will lie and claim their target is a stalker. If the they use their connections to attack their targets they will lie and claim their target used their connections to attack. If the  PN's are unstable and emotional or crazy they will lie and say their target is crazy. Though they love admiration and attention PN's may even get more supply if they are successful in their character assassination as their victim is made to appear like someone who did them harm and the Psychopath/Narcissists gains a steady supply of sympathy from the group. 

Again the Malignant Narcissists have planned for possible attack by grooming the group long before they assassinate the character of the victim/target. They have 'seeded" (google "Seeding", "Lie seeding") the group with negative information about the target and primed the group gifting them dinners, entry into exclusive parties, clubs, events, trips, jobs. 

If the group allows the Narcissist/Psychopath to get away with attacking the victim/target and lets the attacker stay in the group they show the attacker their bad behaviors will be tolerated. This is called “Normalization” and it eats away at the morals of a group and/or shows that the group has little or no morals. 

The group becomes the Malignant Narcissist tertiary supply and they will create drama in the group, claiming victim-hood and 
saying how badly they were treated by their target!!! Their victim who saw behind the mask is labeled the bad guy. The Malignant Narcissist's continues to feed off the group often by triangulating group members pitting them against each other. The Psychopath/Narcissist craves supply!



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Empaths, The Perfect Targets for Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissist's Supply. Character Assignation, Smear Campaing.

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists do not have normal emotions. They are deep dark voids of emptiness. They search for "Narcissistic supply" to feed their void. Their main "supply" comes from healthy individuals. They particularly love highly emotional Empaths. They will feed of an Empaths positive emotions and once bored will abuse the Empath to get negative emotions. They will typically have a secondary source of supply in other lovers and tertiary supply of groups/ family members. 

At some point a healthy target will see the Psychopath/Narcissists for who they really are. The Psychopath/Narcissists has prepared for this. It has happened to them before. Psychopath/Narcissists false self image/mask is everthinging to them. They must destroy anyone who knows them for who they truly are. So the target typically becomes the victim of a smear campaign/character assassination to eject them from the group/family so the Psychopath/Narcissist can continue to gain supply from the group. In fact, they may even get more supply if they are successful in their character assassination as their victim is made to appear like someone who did them harm and the Psychopath/Narcissists gains the sympathy of the group. They have planned for this by grooming the group long before they assassinate the character of the victim/target. They have 'seeded" (see "seeding", "lie seeding") the group with negative information about the target and primed them gifting them dinners, entry into exclusive parties, clubs, vents, trips, jobs. (Think Harvey Weinstein.) T. If the group allows the Narcissist/Psychopath to get away with attacking the victim/target and let them stay in the group looking the other way they show the attacker their bad behaviors will be tolerated. 
The group becomes their tertiary supply and they will create drama in the group to feed them often by triangulating group members pitting them against each other. The Psychopath/Narcissist craves a main source of supply and will search for another lover/Empath. If the group gives them no supply, no drama the Narcissists will disappear from the group when they find them and only reappearing if they lose the lover/Empath.

Empaths 

If you truly want to understand how smart warm wonderful women are targets of Psychopaths read the research of Sandra Brown:

“The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women's unique and astounding elevated 'super traits' of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural 'balance' to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.”

“While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about this dangerous relationship and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim's temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, "That's a crock of crap! You're telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don't believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child." These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.”

“As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary 'super traits' of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:


Here is the research by Sandra Brown on what psychopaths look for in a romantic partner:
§  Extraversion and excitement seeking (Psychopaths are also extraverts and excitement seekers.)  In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
§  Deep Investment in all relationships (The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.)
§  Sentimentality
§  Attachment – Deep bonding capacity (She has a deep bonding capacity.)
§  Competitiveness – stand ground – not codependent (She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground.  Again, not the co-dependent type at all.)
§  Low Harm Avoidance – does not expect to be hurt (She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is.  In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood.  In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kind as children.)
§  Cooperation
§  Higher Empathy – can be genetic
§  Responsibilty and Re



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

GOODNESS How to Deal With Bad People


What are you doing in your life right now that makes you happy? Who are the people in your life that radiate goodness, kindness, humor, and integrity? Who are you grateful for today? Today, who has lifted you up and done something awesome, fun, showed you they worked hard, showed you their talent or who was just plain kind and real to you today?

What work and social activities, interests and hobbies lift you up and make you feel alive, creative and successful? What are you glad you are doing or have done today? Breathe in gratitude for all that is true and good in your life.

Each day I write in a gratitude journal. Some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I write about my friend Rose who can make me laugh for hours on end. Somedays I am grateful for a huge business deal that is exciting and challenging, some days it's long real hugs with my loved ones, warm socks or thin mint cookies. Somedays I write about turning the car stereo up loud and singing with Bruno Mars or going to a house concert with friends and being "inside" the music of Eliot Bronson or The Ghost of Paul Revere, and lately I am grateful for the joy in writing new songs and recording them with talented musicians.

There is a lot of negative energy in the world right now. We see evil and injustice. But there is also a sea change towards goodness. Yes, we are heading towards more goodness. We are noticing bad behavior and saying, "Nope I don't like that." "Stop that because I find that unacceptable." "I choose not to be associated with or do business with someone who acts against my moral values.' That's a very good thing. Bad behavior might have been going on underneath and in the shadows before, allowed and accepted but, right now there is so much light!

Let's be grateful for that light. Don't turn away from what light shows you. I have read and been consulted on so many stories about people doing bad things, but I realized that there are brave, good people that stood up in those stories and said, "No!"  There are so many authentic strong people speaking out and showing what good behavior is. There is kindness.  Let us all focus on the good men and women in the world. And for you, focus on what it feels like to work with and love people you value and trust. Be grateful for them, grab a cookie and turn up some good music.


Look for the goodness!

Take Care,
Patti




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Understanding How Smart, Warm, Wonderful Women Are Targets of Psychopaths

If you truly want to understand how smart warm wonderful women are targets of Psychopaths read the research of Sandra Brown:


“The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women's unique and astounding elevated 'super traits' of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural 'balance' to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.”

“While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about this dangerous relationship and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim's temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, "That's a crock of crap! You're telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don't believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child." These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.”

“As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary 'super traits' of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:

Here is the research by Sandra Brown on what psychopaths look for in a romantic partner:

§  Extraversion and excitement seeking (Psychopaths are also extroverts and excitement seekers.)  In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
§  Deep Investment in all relationships (The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.)
§  Sentimentality
§  Attachment – Deep bonding capacity (She has a deep bonding capacity.)
§  Competitiveness – stand ground – not codependent (She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground.  Again, not the co-dependent type at all.)
§  Low Harm Avoidance – does not expect to be hurt (She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is.  In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood.  In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kind as children.)
§  Cooperation
§  Higher Empathy – can be genetic
§  Responsibilty and Resourcefulness



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

5 Common Traits Narcissistic Men Are Looking for in Women

What are the signs you are dating a Narcissist? 

I have been writing and speaking about charisma and the and their dangerous extreme narcissists for many years. 

This is the story for Verily I was asked to contribute to last week. You can also see more about who they are attracted to and more signs you are dating a narcissist by going to this blog post 
https://bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/2017/10/just-did-piece-for-verilymagazine.html 



5 Common Traits Narcissistic Men
Are Looking for in Women

PUBLISH DATE:NOV 2, 2017

Experts say this is how to keep from being a
narcissistic man’s ideal.

Swept off your feet with compliments, fancy dinners, and generous gifts—you think you've found McDreamy. When you describe the surreal time you're having to friends, it feels like you're talking about a movie. Yet, as the dating continues, you start to notice that it’s really all about him. He constantly talks about himself, prioritizes his needs over yours, is overly sensitive to any form of criticism—and is obsessed with status (the fancy dinners dates at the exclusive restaurants are starting to make sense).
You find that emotional intimacy is impossible, and your relationship starts to fizzle— and you realize it’s happened again.
You dated a narcissist. Again.
Only 7.7 percent of men have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but you may have dated one, or maybe even several, as they often flock to a certain type of woman. If you’ve frequently dated guys who make it all about them, you might have noticed a pattern. After the intense wooing is over, he’s quick to criticize you and put you down if you express any sort of resistance to his need to put himself first. 
As a therapist, I've seen this seriously damage women's self-esteem and well-being. And over time, I've noticed that narcissists seek certain traits in potential romantic partners. So I spoke with other experts in my field to discuss trends and discovered that there are five common traits a narcissist looks for in a woman. 
Do any of these sound like you?

1. You’re outwardly successful. 
It can be tough to admit, but if you feel insecure about yourself even if you are attractive, put together, and successful, you may be advertising yourself as a great fit for a narcissist. “Narcissists tend to seek out people that will fill a template for what they believe will make them look good,” says Elizabeth Earnshaw, a trained Gottman Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. “In essence, [the narcissist’s] partner may be seen as an accessory,” she explains. A narcissistic man is attracted to someone who looks beautiful and accomplished—not because they like that person, but because her appearance and accomplishments fuel his ego. 
However, a narcissist also wants a woman who isn't too confident because he wants to run the show. So if he senses your insecurities, he will be all the more attracted to you because you won’t likely threaten his own success, whether it’s real or perceived. While it might be uncomfortable to acknowledge your insecurities, owning them and making a plan to increase your self-confidence can help. When a narcissist senses your strong sense of confidence, he’ll back away. 

2. You're a people pleaser (and can't help it).
Of course, we all want the guy we’re dating to be happy, but if it comes at the expense of your own well being, it’s unhealthy. A narcissist is looking for someone who will give him constant attention and emotional validation at any cost. Psychotherapist and author, Karen Koenig, says that individuals who attract narcissists often “don’t have a strong sense of who they are and what they want because they don’t believe it’s okay to take care of their own needs.”
A narcissist is someone who monopolizes the relationship and who never compromises. He just demands. Establishing boundaries so that your needs are acknowledged and met in a relationship could help prevent you from getting too deep and potentially trapped. 

3. You avoid conflict like the plague.
While few people are actually fans of conflict, if you avoid conflict at all costs, you might be making yourself more attractive to narcissists. Patti Wood, body language expert and author, says that narcissists tend to want someone “who is low in ‘harm avoidance’ and high in ‘cooperation.’" If you tend to give in easily to the wishes or demands of others at work or in your personal life for the sake of avoiding conflict, you might fit the ideal profile of a potential partner for a narcissist.
If you often put your needs and opinions aside for the sake of avoiding conflict in the relationship, you’ll more easily fall prey to a narcissist who thrives when others provide the empathy and attention they crave. Yes, being willing to compromise in a relationship is important but being a doormat isn’t compromising.

4. You’re ignoring red flags.
One big red flag that signals narcissistic behavior is never taking responsibility for any negative events in one's life. Narcissists are known to play the victim when things don’t go their way, explains Patti Wood, and they will often blame their exes, bosses, and friends for anything negative that’s happened in the past. Don't make the mistake of ignoring this crucial red flag. If you are quick to explain away your date calling his ex “evil” or "crazy" saying his boss was “out to get him," you are sending signals that you are okay with him blaming others for his mistakes. Yes—we all make mistakes but when someone refuses to take responsibility for his role in the event ever, you’re risking your own happiness and well-being down the line because soon he’ll start blaming you when things don’t go well.

5. You are swept up in the romance on the first date.
It's easy to allow yourself to be infatuated after the first date, especially when you are dating a narcissist (they're so attractive and charming at first!). Even though it typically takes some time for a narcissist to reveal his true colors, there are some subtle signs that you can look out for on a first date to help you steer clear of the second. Look past the "love bombing" and the overwhelming flattery and ask the following questions:
·         Is there any back-and-forth in the conversation, or is it total domination?
·         Does he accept your opinions even if you disagree with each other? 
·         Does he act entitled to certain things, or expect special treatment?
·         Is he rude to the wait staff or bartender? 
·         Is he over-the-top on the first date? 
·         Is he invading your space? 

If it's a resounding "yes" to one or more of these, it's a sign he does not deserve a second date, even if it occurred at a Michelin-starred restaurant. A narcissist thinks he’s the sun, and he’s looking for someone to orbit around his world and make him look good without causing too much trouble. Being confident in yourself, standing up for your needs and opinions, firmly enforcing boundaries, and not being afraid to say no and walk away, will help send the message to your narcissist that you aren’t going to fit in his self-obsessed world. 


PLUS
If you truly want to understand how smart warm wonderful women are targets of Psychopaths read the research of Sandra Brown:

“The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women's unique and astounding elevated 'super traits' of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural 'balance' to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.”

“While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about this dangerous relationship and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim's temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, "That's a crock of crap! You're telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don't believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child." These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.”

“As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary 'super traits' of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:


Here is the research by Sandra Brown on what psychopaths look for in a romantic partner:
§  Extraversion and excitement seeking (Psychopaths are also extraverts and excitement seekers.)  In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
§  Deep Investment in all relationships (The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.)
§  Sentimentality
§  Attachment – Deep bonding capacity (She has a deep bonding capacity.)
§  Competitiveness – stand ground – not codependent (She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground.  Again, not the co-dependent type at all.)
§  Low Harm Avoidance – does not expect to be hurt (She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is.  In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood.  In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kind as children.)
§  Cooperation
§  Higher Empathy – can be genetic
§  Responsibilty and Resourcefulness



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.