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Showing posts with label apology speech. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apology speech. Show all posts

Rules and Tips for a Proper Apology, How Can you tell a true apology from a fake one?


Apology Statements

I analyze apology statements for the media. The Jules Woodson assault by her minister and his false apology about his horrible attack to his congregation.

This was not a true apology. A true apology is given to the person that you abused, that’s it!
You must seek forgiveness, from the person you hurt not to group your afraid of loosing!!
In a true apology you do not make excuses and you certainly don’t blame the victim as he does in his “speech” and you darn sure don’t act like a little boy victim. You also promise to work on yourself and never abuse anyone again. And if you have done something horrible you pay a price for your transgression. He didn’t pay the correct price he was only embarrassed for the length of the speech.

So what do we do? How do we do the right thing in our lives? It’s not just about noticing bad behavior, I like to follow a negative thing that’s happened with a positive action so we can create a wave of decency and make the world better through our actions. So we need to think about anyone we hurt in any way and give a proper apology. I am starting with myself so I am thinking of what I need to do better.
In addition, if someone admitted hurting someone else to you and didn’t apologize and seek forgiveness from the person they hurt, and you say, “ I forgive you for hurting Sally” you become a part to their crime. You have relived them of their burden of guilt without them doing the hard thing, the right thing. It makes you feel good but it’s an ethical mistake, That’s the big mistake the congregation made. I’m sure the congregation felt good about themselves. They said we are so forgiving! But they were only doing something that made them feel good about themselves. When they gave him a standing ovation they took away his guilt. They gave their forgiveness that he did NOT earn at the cost of his victims pain. It may seem righteous but it’s just wrong.
I have a chapter in my new book on how to give a proper apology! Can’t wait to finish it!

I Was Assaulted. He Was Applauded.

/https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/03/09/opinion/jules-woodson-andy-savage-assault.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&referer=https://m.facebook.com/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Does Angelina Jolie Really Have Chicken Pox? Angelina's Body Language, is She Lying?

Does Angelina Jolie Really Have Chicken Pox? Angelina's Body Language, is She Lying?


A body language expert Patti Wood
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnxoEIJMsUc

Is Angelina lying about her Chicken Pox. Well, I can tell you she is having a really good time telling the world she can’t go to her Unbroken Events because she has Chicken Pox.

She starts the recording with the words “I just want to be clear and honest.” These are not the typical words of someone who is just sending out a message that she has Chicken Pox.  These are not the normal first words for any apology stantement, the  baseline of a normal “I am sick” announcement is to start with what you are most upset about which should be, "I am sick!"  In an honest message the emotional message comes out first. It is a limbic brain response. Typically your nonverbal delivery will also show your emotions. You should see her have the facial expressions of pain, or discomfort of being sick and or contriteness at having to miss the events. Instead she has a rather frozen face and monotones delivery of very logical words, “I just want to be clear and honest.” The words themselves are words a liar uses before they lie. Honest people don’t say they have to be clear and honest.”
Next notice in the video what she does with her head as she says, “…Clear and honest.” See how her head jerks back as she says it.  I call that a "heat retreat." We retreat under threat, and liars often, pull back or retreat in some way when they are lying. She could have the Chicken Pox, but she does NOT want to be clear and honest in this message.

Also notice what happens as she says  the words Chicken Pox. On the YouTube video this is a the .17 time marker. She smiles. Yes, sometimes people give a cover smile when delivering bad news, but this is not a cover smile. The corners of the mouth go down in a cover smile and the eyes don't typically move. Notice how the coursers of both sides of her mouth go up, her eyebrows go up and her eyes open and most significantly her head goes up. We go up when we are happy and joyful. She is happy. Yes, oddly she is happy not sad, that is not a surprised smile. That is a happy smile.

Notice that her eyes are not inflamed, as they might be if she had chicken pox, notice though her voice is lowered it is forced and has subdued strength. It is not scratchy and strained as it might be for someone who has chicken pox. She might have them, but they have not hit full force yet.

Finally, one of the most interesting statements is “I just can’t believe it.” If you watch her say that statement, you see it is sincere. It has the normal FEEL SHOW SAY of an honest statement. You see her go back slightly, you see the surprise on her face, you’re here her voice change and then you hear the words silvered that match that emotional statement of disbelief. But here is the thing.  She could be in disbelief about Chicken Pox. But the pause before she makes that statement in the context of what she is saying is long, and sometimes liars, hold a true thought in the mind and they talk about something they are lying about in order to have an authentic delivery. In this case she could authentically be in disbelief that she has the chicken pox, but she could also be in that moment be thinking about and in disbelief about the emails about her that where released.
In any case she is not normal in much of her nonverbal delivery at anytime and she is not normal in the delivery of her I have Chicken Pox delivery.

Late last night I got a call to read this video for Radaronline, but know that they misquoted me. This have me saying things I did not say. For example I did not say, "She was giving her worst acting..." and I did not say, "There are a couple of physical things that are obvious."   http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/12/angelina-jolie-body-lanugage-rips-apart-patt-wood/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Michael Grimm's actions speak louder than words, say body language expert

Read body language expert's insights below at the link.

http://www.silive.com/opinion/columns/index.ssf/2014/05/actions_speak_louder_than_word.html


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.