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Showing posts with label attraction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attraction. Show all posts

Nonverbal Green Flags Indications of Healthy Relationship with Long Term Happiness


By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

 

Eyebrow Raise We raise our eyebrows to make the eye's aperture bigger. It's often done because we like what we see, and we want more of it. If your partner raises his brows ever so slightly while you're talking, it means he's interested in whatever you're saying.

Eyebrow Flash Notice if he raises his eyebrows in a quick flash the moment he sees you. That is magical. We eyebrow flash when we first see people we love and trust. It signals both I like what I see, and I want more of it, and I am safe for you to approach. (A narrowed eye in greeting is the opposite and means the person may be focusing in for an attack)

Teeth Baring Grin- He shows you his Upper front teeth. In our primitive ancestors showing a full grin upper teeth grin, barring of the teeth can be a sign of aggression or great happiness. Boys typically stop smiling with the full upper teeth and gums showing around the age of 5 because it may be misconstrued as aggression. So they save it and typically only use that full barring teeth smile for when they are really happy,"  A man who loves you might not show off a toothy grin while casually flirting, but on a really comfortable and happy look to see if he shows a big grin. I tell my audiences to check out their wedding photos. If their groom/new husband is not doing a big upper teeth showing grin in the photos, it's a sign there may be problems in the relationship in the future. You man needs to show that he is safe and comfortable enough to show they grin and that he is often happy and joyful in your presence. ow in a big grin

Up and Back Chin when he laughs. That is a sign of true joy and happiness and typically indicates that he is very comfortable fully expressing joy in your presence. Notice if he does it when it's just the two of you.

 

He locks eyes with your face — not your eyes. You might think that a man enamored with you will find it hard to peel his eyes away. But now that everyone is used to being glued to their phones, constant eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable. That kind of stare is more indicative of a predator. That kind of gaze may seem hypnotic, but it's not a signal you're his prey. A man who likes you looks at your whole face! So, important rule: If he spends about 80 percent of your interaction looking from your eyes to your nose and lips, he cares for you. His eye contact should make you feel good and very comfortable. That's a signal that your central nervous system is calm and safe in his presence and that he wants to stay connected to you because it makes his central nervous system feel calm.  

He takes a deep breath when he sees you and smiles Yes, men do require oxygen, but this is a deep breath the moment you come into his view. Its limbic brain activated, and as he does it, he may pull in his stomach and puff out his chest.

The puffing is a subconscious way to make his upper body look broader and his waist looks smaller, two qualities that make him look more fit and, from an evolutionary perspective, more desirable. It should lift his upper body, and it should be accompanied by a smile and or eye contact with you. He may do this after you kiss, but you made him feel great!

When he holds your hand, he presses his palm against yours. This kind of full-fledged hand-holding signifies a desire to connect. The same goes for interlocking fingers, while an arched palm and less meshing mean he's scared or maybe holding something back (literally). Also, notice when they go to hold and when they drop the handhold. Who does he love and want to see him have hands with you?

 

He gives you your secret touch. Suppose you develop a secrete touch, perhaps to your side or a particular location on your back or kiss to the center or your forehead or a light touch on the back of your hand in the same spot. The location is typically someplace sweet, and the modality is special, say an extra squeeze in the handhold that is wonderful. That is your lovely, intimate little way of communication without words.

 

Lasts goodbyes and first greeting are for you. When he leaves the house. (with you in it)  you are the last person he touches and or talks to, and when he comes home, his first action is to go to you and talk to you or touch you. So primacy is the first thing you do, and Recency, the last thing you do, indicates how important a person, object, or action is to someone.

 

 




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

First Date Signals - Signs He Is Into You - Story For Elite Daily

I just contributed to a First Date Signals story for Elite Daily. Since my links to stories rarely make it on people's time lines, here are a few of my rough notes from what I shared.

Signs he is into you:
1. The most obvious, and not under their conscious control is pupil dilation.
2. Another is body orientation. Woman love to be face to face, so don’t think he is NOT into you if he wants to sit kitty corner or side by side, that is a guy’s signal they want to self-disclose and connect.
3. Leaning in as he says something positive or leaning in as you say something, for example, you talk about a recent loss and he says, ‘I am so sorry and leans in.’
4. Symbolic reaching - placing his arm on the table so it looks like he wants to touch your arm or hold hands. (I love this as the man is not breaking boundaries and touching, but is showing he wants to!).
5. Touching innocently which means on safe nonsexual parts of the body, like touching you lightly and briefly on the forearm.
6. He smiles big showing his upper front teeth, which men, after the age of five, only do when they are really happy!
7. Raises his eyebrows as he first sees you, he likes what he sees and he wants more of it.
8. Locks eyes and keeps looking at you, and your mouth. His eyes on your mouth means he wants to kiss you.
9. Not wanting to end the date!!! Time is a nonverbal communicator and he wants to spend more time with you.
10. Asking you what you like to do.
11. Giving you every bit of his contact information and telling you where he lives and what his place is like. He wants you to be able to reach him and he wants you to see his place!!!


Signs he is not into you:
1. Short answers to your questions
2. Looking left and right or toward the exit
3. Leaning back and staying leaned back to symbolically leave you!
4. Placing his phone between the two of you. Looking a long time at the menus, or commenting on other people who are around you, instead of focusing on you.
How can you distinguish nervousness from lack of interest.
If he is nervous you will more than likely see repeated “Comfort Cues” like touching his side or adjusting his cuff or moving the silverware as he speaks or after he speaks, showing he is nervous about how HE looks. If he does the not into cues or comfort cues while YOU are sharing something important that he should be listening to that’s a problem.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why White Supremacist Men May Believe That They are Attractive to Women.

Today a magazine asked me this question, "Why do white supremacist men believe they are attractive and can sleep with whoever they want?" which was prompted by this bizarre Twitter storm:

https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/896545206245445632

By Patti Wood, Professional Speaker, researcher and author of “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

I am feeling disgust and outrage toward the white supremacist Coincidentally, I have been asked by the media to respond to a twitter feed that is going wild right now in which a white supremacists states that women are attracted to them and want to sleep with them. Here are the eight reasons I think they may be saying this.

8 Reasons that white supremacist men (accurately one crazy guy on twitter) may feel that women find them attractive and or that they can have any women they want and or claim that women like dangerous men so they (one crazy guy on twitter) can have any women they like?

1.      They may misinterpret attention as attraction -These white supremacist angry men may experience that they get noticed when they express their anger, and ironically conclude, that the attention means they are attractive, when in fact they are noticed and people continue to pay attention to them because we notice and pay attention to what is dangerous. Here is the research on that. Angry Men Get Noticed. (Do Angry Men Get Noticed? Science Daily (June 7, 2006) — by comparing how quickly human facial expressions of different types are detected in a crowd of neutral faces, researchers have demonstrated that male angry faces are a priority for visual processing.) They may spin that as they did in the twitter feed.

2.      Their groups may encourage and allow them to show power cues that increase their sense of power and entitlement. The four first impression factors according to research are credibility, likeability, attractiveness and power. Power is communicated by several factors most related to alpha characteristics. Two of those are size and bulk. Others are taking over space, large gestures, gesturing with objects, carrying weapons such as marching or attacking and loudness like yelling and shouting.
3.      They may believe all women like dangerous men. Popular culture may foster that “Bad” boys may seem to show characteristics of good mates like high testosterone. For example, nonverbal research indicates that smiling is an indication of low testosterone and lack of smiling is an indication of high testosterone. I talk about anger and power in the points that follow, but there is also popular culture’s take on bad boy attraction. https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/why-women-love-bad-boys-2015-11

4.      They may have seen women have an intense physiological response to their danger signals. But do women really LIKE dangerous men? I believe women are afraid of dangerous men. Some women misidentify their body’s response to danger as attraction. I have coined the term for what happens as danger at first sight.  They see a dangerous man and their limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint response. Women may misread their physiological responses to danger such as increased heart rate, pulse, flushing, panting, increases in adrenaline and cortisol and say, “Oh!, when it may really be the central nervous systems way of saying, “Run, for the hills, (or faint, freeze or fight.)
5.      They may have felt empowered by their anger and see its effects.  Anger can make others perceive you as powerful. Research shows that angry people are more likely to get promoted, perceived as more competent, and showing leadership and capability. (see my article for more details  http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=7831)
 I believe that is because it temporality makes you feel powerful when underneath you feel powerless. For example we know that many domestic violence cases arise when spouses who have lost or do not have a job have a feeling of powerlessness that can create a need to dominate whoever they feel is weaker. So angry men, especially when riled up in a frenzy of a fight/march may feel they can dominate and have what they want. Anger increases the heart rate and blood pressure of the angry person speaking and the listener. That can make those that are feeling anger stronger, Anger is considered the most highly contagious emotion and it spreads. Research also says it is a persuasive emotion.

6.      They may suffer from Insular Group Comparison – By that very notion WS groups are isolated from the larger society and that isolation can make those within it compare themselves only to the small group of men within rather than ALL men. By bases of comparison, they then can find themselves more attractive. See bottom of page for more on group think.

7.      They may suffer from Group think- Irving Janis defined it, “occurs when a group makes faulty decisions, and has illusion of invulnerability and excessive optimism.” The “draw” to white supremacist groups is that you have more to gain (from joining) the possibility of money fame, power. (https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2002/author-kathleen-blee-discusses-role-women-white-supremacist-groups)
So if you are isolated in this group of men who tell you, “Dude, we have got the power,” “We can have any women we want then your group think can make you think it is true and dissenting from that viewpoint may cost you membership in the group and not just execution but dangerous repercussions if you leave.

8.      They may see women in their groups that kowtow and globalize their behavior to all women. There are also women in these groups and from the small amount of research out there, the women in the groups have to kowtow and obey the men in the group. So the men isolated in the group, may come to believe ALL women see them as powerful and that they will bow down.
Janis Irving has documented eight symptoms of groupthink:


  1. Illusion of invulnerability –Creates excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.
  2. Collective rationalization – Members discount warnings and do not reconsider their assumptions.
  3. Belief in inherent morality – Members believe in the rightness of their cause and therefore ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.
  4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Negative views of “enemy” make effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.
  5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Members are under pressure not to express arguments against any of the group’s views.
  6. Self-censorship – Doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus are not expressed.
  7. Illusion of unanimity – The majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.
  8. Self-appointed ‘mindguards’ – Members protect the group and the leader from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decision
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Face Lift of Attraction - Why We Can Look More Youthful When We Are Highly Attracted to Someone

The Face Lift of Attraction
When you are highly attracted to someone it can change your body chemistry.  It can increase your muscle tone, so for example the “bagging" around the eyes and the face decrease, making you appear more youthful. 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Three Classic Techniques of Body Language

At the link below are insights on three classic techniques of body language:  body language of attraction, body language of status and body language of deception/dishonesty.

http://www.sciences360.com/index.php/three-classic-techniques-of-body-language-5505/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.


Why We Like Round Curvy Shapes, Attraction

Why We Like Round curvy Shapes, Attraction


It not only effects the way we look at art, but it effects and may be because of what we find attractive.


Do our brains find some shapes more beautiful than others?
And what exactly is happening in our brains when we look at these shapes?




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

The Research Shows an Anti-redhead Prejudice in Attraction and Why I have a thing for Red Headed Men


The science behind anti-redhead prejudice and Why I have a thing for Red Headed Men

It started in Kindergarten. I saw his red hair from across the room and I was immediately smitten. I could not help myself. I wanted to be friends with Kenny Sharp. His smile and his freckles and that ginger hair did things to me. We were both four and he became my Crayola red crayon boyfriend through first and second grade and set the tone for my life long love of red headed men. Why? I think it is my Scottish heritage on my mothers side of the family we are Lochries. I think I long for my Scottish roots and few read headed children.  My proclivity for red headed men does not fall in line with the national average of what makes a man attractive. Most women spurn the advances of a read headed man. But not me. Here is the research.

The science behind anti-redhead prejudice
Studies show that people are less likely to make a move on a redheaded girl or accept the advances of a redheaded guy. Why?


Are people with red hair — gingers, redheads, individuals of unusual rufosity, whatever you want to call them — less attractive than people with other hair colors? That is certainly what received wisdom tells us. Alongside the impression that they have fiery tempers, unquenchable libidos, and cold, clammy hands (OK, I made that last one up), one of the most common bits of folk wisdom about redheads is that they are just not that cute.
Color of my love
In 2012, the journal Psychological Studies published a study that created quite a stir on this topic, and was widely reported as "bad news for redheads."
Researcher Nicolas Guéguen examined how hair color alone could influence a person's chances of scoring at a nightclub. He had women dress up in differently-colored wigs, and measured how often they were approached by men. Similarly, they had men wearing differently-colored wigs approach various women over the course of the evening, and measured how often their advances were accepted or rebuffed.
By using the same set of men and women, and changing only the apparent color of their hair, this experiment was able to separate the influence of hair color itself from other features of physical attractiveness, such as facial features, skin tone, height, and body proportions.
Just as you might expect, based on common folk-wisdom and stereotypes, women were approached most often when wearing a blonde wig and men were rejected the most often when wearing a ginger wig. The news looks pretty bad for ginger men.
Or does it? Studies have shown time and again that facial symmetry, height, and body proportions matter the most to people's immediate assessments of physical attractiveness. These are also features that are more intrinsic and harder to change or hide than hair color. If the only thing that people are responding to is the hair color itself, this may actually be good news for redheads. It means that the only thing that "turns people off" is something that's fairly easy to change.
Unfortunately, this also helps to perpetuate the stereotype that redheads are intrinsically less attractive. When so many ginger celebrities actively cover it up by coloring their hair, it only makes it more difficult for people to think of "hot gingers."
This reassures people in their belief that redheads are "usually not hot," simply because they don't know how many hot people out there really are redheads.
What about the freckles?
At this time, there isn't any evidence to suggest that gingers are less likely to have those traits that are considered "generically attractive" by the majority of the population, such as high cheekbones, symmetrical faces, and well-proportioned bodies. However, they are much more prone to having freckled skin.
Skin tone is another one of those well-studied features that has been shown to consistently have an impact on people's assessment of physical beauty: Those with clear, evenly-colored skin are widely regarded as being more attractive than people with patchy, blotchy, or freckled skin.
Nowhere is this more obvious than when looking at professional photos of redheaded models and celebrities. Even those "hot redheads" that flaunt the redness of their hair usually are made-up on magazine covers to have almost unnaturally even skin tones.
Moreover, there is a reasonable theory to explain why the bias against freckles might be more than just a cultural prejudice. Not to be too blunt about it, but freckles are cancer factories.
Let's be clear, before the hate mail starts pouring in. Some people find freckles very attractive, and that is fantastic. Not all freckles automatically lead to cancer, either. But the type of melanin that causes freckles can increase the skin's sensitivity to ultraviolet radiation and make skin more prone to getting cancer.
They therefore can serve as a quite real biological "warning sign."
In the northern latitudes, this isn't as much of a problem as when you get closer to the equator. In fact, although the gene patterns that are associated with having red hair are present in both northern and southern areas of Europe, there are many more actual redheads in the north.
Part of the reason for this is that in the south, the "redhead genes" are mixed in with more dominant genes for darker skin, so the genes that produce ginger hair do not have an opportunity to express themselves and be visible.
So there may be an evolved, adaptive response to be less attracted to people with freckles, on the grounds that they are more likely to develop skin cancer. This could also explain why celebrity redheads tend to have their freckles airbrushed away to make them look more appealing.
However, it does not explain why there still remains such a strong bias against gingers — freckled or not — especially in the northern latitudes where sun exposure is less of a problem.
Attractiveness and gene-mixing
It is also possible that both red hair and freckled skin are viewed as less attractive because they are both recessive traits. This means that the traits are easily covered up by the effects of other genes. For example, if you get genes for red hair from one parent but brown hair from another, you are likely to not have red hair yourself.
The same is true for the trademark pale, freckled skin of redheads: When mixed with the genetic codes for darker skin, the fact that the "freckles gene" is present in a person may never actually become visible.
This could be related to attractiveness because there is an evolutionary benefit to mixing genes from different groups. When a person's heritage is very mixed, there is less of a chance that a harmful recessive gene will have an opportunity to express itself.
Charles Darwin proposed this idea, calling it "heterosis:" The theory that cross-breeding across populations would lead to children that are genetically stronger than their parents.
Consistent with this theory, Dr. Michael Lewis discovered in a study that was published in 2010 that people will rate photos of individuals with mixed-ethnicity backgrounds as "very attractive" 55 percent more often than people from a single ethnic background.
What does this mean for gingers? It could be that having red hair serves as a biological cue for a lack of genetic mixing, which we have evolved to be biased against. But once again this biological theory must be interpreted with caution.
This doesn't mean that all redheads are inherently unlucky genetically and must be unattractive. But it does mean that attractive redheads are likely to have had a little more genetic mixing in their past than others.
Gingerism
All of these discussions of hair color, genetics, and attractiveness really don't address the bigger issue of prejudice, however. No matter how many good, sound theories there may be pertaining to the biology of attraction, and how or why it may be biased against people with red hair, it does not change the fact that biology cannot explain the insults, the taunts, and the hate crimes that gingers have to put up with their entire lives.
It also doesn't explain that gigantic influence that culture has, both positively and negatively, in the perception of redheads. Anti-redhead bias is dramatically more prominent in the United Kingdom, for example, than in the United States — with no really solid explanation apart from ingrained cultural prejudice.
Moreover, it is fairly trendy for actresses — usually those who are already considered popular and beautiful — to take on a redheaded look in order to be daring, edgy and fashionable. Julia Roberts, Rose McGowan, Cynthia Nixon, and Debra Messing are some memorable examples of celebrities that made red hair look exceptionally good.
So the scientific answer to the question "is there a basis for the stereotype that redheads are unattractive" is what someone might expect, if he is familiar with science. That answer is: Eh, kind of, but not really.
Studies show that on average, people may be less likely to make a move on a redheaded girl or accept the advances of a redheaded guy. On the other hand, as long as you don't have prominent freckles, many gingers can pass as blondes or brunettes, showing that the difference is purely superficial.
Moreover, if you are already hot, you can get away with dying your hair red and it's seen as "trendy" rather than unattractive.
And while there may be a plausible evolutionary explanation for a minor anti-ginger bias, especially in southern latitudes, true "ginger haters" will have to look somewhere else for an excuse for their bad attitudes.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Men Are More Attractive If Other Women Look... Research on Attraction

Men Are More Attractive If Other Women Look...
Research on Attraction

What Makes Men Attractive?
Well, if other women look at him, he could get a lot cuter!

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10966-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-your-friends.html

Beauty is in the eye of your friends
00:01 17 January 2007 by Debora MacKenzie
For similar stories, visit the Love and Sex Topic Guide
It is a classic image: a group of young women sighing over the latest heartthrob. But do they all really share identical taste for, say, Brad Pitt, or that cute guy in physics class? A new study suggests that, in fact, women will look more favorably on the men that other women find attractive.

Female guppies, quail and finches tend to mate with males that look like the males they have seen other females paired with. Such "mate choice copying" can pay off. If it is difficult to choose the best mating material, or takes a lot of time and energy, it makes sense to go with what works for the other girls.

Yet although human mate selection suffers just such difficulties, there has been little evidence that women do this, until now.

Ben Jones at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland, and colleagues, showed 28 men and 28 women pairs of male faces and asked them to rate their attractiveness. The photos had been already been rated by 40 women as of about equal attractiveness.

Striking difference
The researchers then showed the same faces alongside a third photo of a female face in profile, positioned so she was looking at one of them, and smiling - or not. The viewers were asked to grade the faces again.

Women found the men who were being smiled at suddenly more attractive, while men who apparently elicited no such smiling approval were pronounced less attractive.

Men, meanwhile, behaved in a strikingly different manner. They rated men who had been smiled at as less attractive. "Within-sex competition promotes negative attitudes towards men who are the target of positive social interest from women," the researchers conclude.

Or to put it another way, the next time you hear a man say "I don't know what she sees in him", remember the fact she's sees anything at all may be off-putting enough…

Journal reference: Proceedings of the Royal Society B (DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2006.0205)

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Attraction Tips, Smiling And Eye Contact Research

Attraction Tips, Smiling and Eye Contact Research

In my body language programs you learn not just what to do but why certain nonverbal behaviors work. It's great to say, smile and look someone in the eye to enhance the attraction process, but to know the research that shows why that is such a powerful action in the attraction process really informs you and can motivate you to change and or improve your nonverbal behavior. So when you say, "You need to smile and make eye contact to win a mate." Here is the why behind the do.

Here is the link and the research.

Eye contact and a smile will win you a mate
11:22 07 November 2007 by Debora MacKenzie
For similar stories, visit the Love and Sex Topic Guide
It's official: you are more likely to think other people are attractive if they are looking straight at you and smiling. The finding helps to explain long-standing questions over the subtle ways in which evolution can determine human preferences.

An important question in biology is whether a particular function or ability is the result of evolution or an accidental byproduct of it. Some biologists believe that human perception falls into this second category because there has been little evidence that how we perceive things like faces affects our biological success in ways that are selected for or against.

But the evidence is mounting that evolution has conditioned our perception in subtle ways.

Claire Conway and colleagues at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland, UK, paired nearly identical photos of computer-generated faces, with smiling or disgusted expressions. The pair differed only in where the irises were pointed: straight at the viewer, or off to the side (see image top right).

Several hundred Aberdeen undergraduates, in the lab and online, rated the faces for sexual attractiveness, and for likeability, a sexually neutral quality. Both men and women found faces looking straight at them to be more attractive and more likeable, even if the faces looked disgusted though unsurprisingly, there was a greater preference for smiles.

Sexual bias
But when the viewers were rating the faces for attractiveness, the preference for being gazed at directly by smiling eyes was much greater for faces of the opposite sex, especially when they were rated by men. There was no such sexual bias in the preference for a direct gaze when the students rated disgusted-looking faces, or when they were rating any faces for likeability.

The Aberdeen team says the sexual bias in subjects' perception of sexual attractiveness in a direct, smiling gaze is hard to explain as a functionless byproduct of perception. But it could have evolved to ease the effort of mating, by directing efforts towards people who are already expressing an interest.

The idea that evolution played a role in determining our facial preferences is backed up by other work, such as research showing that perceptions of attractiveness change depending on peer pressure, or even the time of the month.

What about cultures, common in Asia, where gazing directly at someone is rude? "The Asian participants [in the study] demonstrated preferences for direct over averted gaze," Conway told New Scientist. But these are private preferences, she cautions. "Whether or not such preferences are also expressed in public situations we don't know."

Journal reference: Proceedings of the Royal Society (DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2007.1073)

Love - Learn more about the science behind it in our comprehensive special report.

The Human Brain - With one hundred billion nerve cells, the complexity is mind-boggling. Learn more in our cutting edge special report.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language at Work, First Impressions

Reading body language in your co-workers so you can tell what they really think about you.


What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish

You don't have to wait for someone to get tipsy at the holiday party to find out how you're viewed at work. "We get nonverbal messages from the people around us every day—often, we're just not paying enough attention," says Sherron Bienvenu, Ph. D., a communications professor emerita at Emory University's Goizueta Business School and author of Business Communications. Following is a crash course in ferreting out whether your workplace colleagues think you're smart, likable, or neither!

Your Coworkers Like You If...

They initiate conversations
Coffee klatches have gone the way of cigarette breaks—they're all but extinct. Nowadays most people communicate by e-mail, IM, or phone. "So if your colleagues are chatting you up in the hallway, they're taking time to break routine to speak to you," says Patti Wood, an Atlanta-based body language expert. If they avert their eyes or sneak glances at their watches during a conversation, they may not be so into you.

They offer feedback
During a one-on-one, does your coworker nod thoughtfully and lean into your conversation? Do the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles in response to funny comments you make? "The more animated a person's face, the more emotionally invested they are in the conversation," says Tonya Reiman, a New York City-based body language expert and the author of The Power of Body Language.

They're smooth talkers
"People deviate from their normal speech patterns when they're nervous or uncomfortable," says Maryann Karinch, a body language expert based outside Denver and a coauthor of How to Spot a Liar. Someone who normally speaks at a leisurely pace might become a speed talker, while a person who usually talks quickly might pause for long moments. If they enjoy your company, you won't notice a change in their vocal stride.

WORK RELATIONSHIPS: DECODE YOUR COWORKERS
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish

Your Coworkers Respect You If...

They keep quiet
Asking for your opinion—that's a no-brainer. But letting you take control of a conversation is a less obvious way to show how much they care about what you have to say. "You can see the degree to which other people respect you by observing how often they look to you for a reaction or a cue," says psychologist Ann Demarais, Ph. D., a coauthor of First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You. "And when a problem arises, they turn to face you."

They make room for you
"When you sit down at a meeting, see if your neighbors move their stuff closer to themselves and out of your way, or push their chair back a bit to give you more room," Demarais says. "That shows respect."

They copy you
What they say about imitation and flattery is true: "Subconsciously, we try to mirror people we like and respect," Reiman says. So if you notice your coworker mimicking your movements—for example, picking up her pen or cupping her chin with her hand when you do—she probably admires you.
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish

A Coworker Has A Crush On You If...

He goes the extra mile
He spends an hour trying to fix your frozen computer, gives up his chair at a crowded conference room table, or offers to pick you up a latte during his afternoon coffee run. Maybe he's just an incredibly nice guy—but more likely, he's into you.

He drops your name
Saying things like "Hi, Jane," or "How are you doing, Jane?" may seem like common courtesy, but it's actually an intimate gesture. Consider it the verbal equivalent of a touch on the arm—a way to get more personal.

He's a stand-up guy
In the civilized world as in the wild, strong, physically imposing alpha males have the best shot at mating. So men instinctively want to make themselves seem bigger and badder around women they're interested in, Reiman says. If he suddenly stops slouching and puffs out his chest when he's around you (the old "I'm just stretching my arms" routine), take note— he may have a crush.


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Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
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Do men marry their mothers?

I think I need to find a man whoes mother had a masters degree. New research suggests that men with educated mothers say they think smart women make better wives. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/05/080505223427.htmPatti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How Attraction Creates Changes in Our Body Langauage and Apperance.

When a person enters the company of the opposite sex, certain physiological changes take place. High muscle tone became evident in preparation for a possible sexual encounter, “bagging” around the eyes and face decreased, body sagging disappeared, the chest protruded, the stomach was automatically pulled in, potbellied slumping disappeared, the body assumed an erect posture, and the person seemed to become more youthful in appearance. Both men and women walk with a livelier, springier gait as a display of health and vitality and to convey their suitability as a partner. A man will stand taller, protrude his jaw, and expand his chest to make himself appear dominant. A woman who is interested will respond by pulling back her shoulders and bringing her breasts higher on her chest. She will also try tilting her head, touching her hair, and exposing her wrists, making herself appear submissive.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How can you tell if he likes you? Body language and attraction


Here is a recent body language and attraction article I was quoted in:

Men’s Body Language, Decoded: What’s He Really Telling You?
When it comes to understanding men—and their interest level in you—do you need a translator? Glamour Magazine asked the top body language experts such as Patti Wood about men’s most confusing mixed signals and found that it’s not what he says but what he does that really matters.

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2009/06/mens-body-language-decoded#slide=9

Signs a Guy Likes You

I remember when I was a little girl my friends and I would pick wild flowers in the field behind my house. I would hold a flower and think of a guy I liked and pick off petals saying, "He loves me. He loves me not." Now you don't have to pick the petals off a flower to tell if a guy likes you. You can watch his body language.

Animals like to show off and make themselves look good when they are attracted to the opposite sex. It's called preening. You may preen by touching or gently twisting your hair around your fingers when you are with a guy you like. Guys preen as well.

When a guy likes you he may:
  • Slick back his hair with his hand
  • Smooth out his eyebrows.
  • Straighten his shirt collar
  • Smooth out the "invisible wrinkles in his pants
  • Adjust his belt or pull up the waist of his pants

A man may also signal he like you by:

Turning his toes towards you when he is talking with you. (Notice especially if the toes stay pointed towards you when you are talking.) We naturally tend to point our toes towards people who interest us -- It's like a compass pointing towards true north.

The rest of his body may show he is into you as well. He could be talking to someone else, but if he notices you and he is attracted to you, he may angle his feet, his lower torso and/or his heart towards you and may not even realize it.

Notice his eyes to see if he is into you. When he looks you in the eye, his pupils (the black circles in the middle of his eyeballs) will get bigger if he likes you. If he likes what he sees he wants to see it well so the pupils dilate to take you in. Pupil dilation happens automatically when you are attracted to someone. Since a guy cannot control it, it is a great 'tell'. However it can also occur when someone is drunk or drugged or in low lighting so don't automatically whoop and say, "He loves me!" when a man's eyes dilate.

What Do His Eyes Say? Eye behavior, Attraction and Lying


True or false - The meaning of eye cues
Recently a national magazine sent me these eye cues and asked me if the meanings they had listed by them where accurate. They where looking for cues that women could use to read men. Here are my answers.

• True or False: He flashes his eyebrows = He’s attracted to you - A guy raises his eyebrows in a friendly greeting as a signal of "I come in friendship and you don’t need to be fearful of my approach." It’s very primal. If the eyes were squinted into a narrow focus it would signal that the he may be zeroing in for attack.(In other words perhaps purely a sexual conquest.) If the eyebrow flash stays a moment longer it typically signals, “I recognize you and I am approaching in friendship." Picture the little cartoon bubble above the guys head saying,"Oh I know you and I like you." If the eyebrow flash stays a moment longer and is combined with a real smile that goes all the way to the eyes it could signal attraction. He is saying, “I like what I see so I want my eyes to stay open longer to enjoy it.”

• His brows scrunch together and lift in the middle = He’s sad/disappointed
Actually that is not quite accurate. In intense sadness the eyes look down and the and the upper eyelids droop and most importantly only the inner corners of the upper eyebrows go up. So you see the eyebrows raised in the middle of the face above the nose.You can see deep furrows or set of furrows above the nose and you will also see two furrows going out and down from the outer corners of each of the eyes. The unique eye cue that only shows in deep sadness is the raised inner corners of the upper eyebrows. Paul Eckman, the father of facial expression research, shares in his book, Emotions Revealed, that a few actors like Woody Alan and Jim Carrey use that eyebrow cue quite often. I think it makes us feel sorry for them like little lost puppies. Make that Basset hound puppies.

• He closes his eyes for more than a second while speaking = He might be lying – It could mean that, but again you have to note what is happening as he shuts his eyes. We shut our eye when we don’t like what we are seeing. We may close them a bit longer than a normal blink when we hear something we don’t like or when we don’t like or believe what we are saying. (So if they guy closes his eyes in an unnaturally long blink as he says, “I will call you,” don’t wait by the phone. Know a guy may close his eyes a moment longer than normal throughout the entire conversation if he is tired or if he is with someone he doesn’t like or he doesn’t like where the conversation is going.

• His eyes shift down and to the right = He’s experiencing a deep emotion. It is not that simple though you can find some NLP books that say this is true. It is actually more complex than that. If the guy is right handed and he looks down and to the right he may be accessing emotions. Please don’t quote this as down to the right means he experiences deep emotions -- it is not accurate. And eye accessing happens so quickly most people won’t be able to catch it consciously. You could look for another eye cue to see if a man is attracted to you. When someone is looking down with both eyes it can be a signal of submission so if a guy is talking to you and he smiles and looks down with both eyes he may be silently saying, "You are so beautiful I would be dazzled and overwhelmed if I kept looking at you. I bow (with my eyes) to your loveliness." Note that looking down can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty so watch if his eyes go down as he says he is single and available!

How Can You Tell If She is in to You?

Friday, March 27, 2009

How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.

Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com