Search This Blog

Showing posts with label bragging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bragging. Show all posts

Why You Should Bragg. The Benifits and How Too's of Bragging.



                                                          Why You Should Bragg
                                                                        By Patti Wood MA, CSP
                                                Patti is a Body Language Expert and Professional Speaker
My friend Sue and I have known each other since grad school and have always supported each other’s success. She is a wonderful and talented author and beloved English professor and I am a body language expert and professional speaker. Sue arranged for me to speak to the student body of her university. 

On the day of my speech, we went over my intro and I showed Sue how to turn on my 40 sec video that had snippets of newscasters and TV show hosts introducing me on their show.   Then as students and professors came into the auditorium I introduced myself, “Hello my name is Patti and I am your speaker today." "How are you?" Then I gave my speech. After the speech, Pat and I went out and we had a long talk.

My friend said, “Patti, watching you how you set and introduced your self and talked about your work in your speech changed everything I thought about my career.”  She said, “At first I thought, Goodness, Patti is going over the top with all this bragging about herself the intros and introducing herself as the speaker then I noticed how people responded to you even before you started speaking. I have watched 100’s of speakers in that same Venue but they were treating you with a feeling of honor and respect that I have never seen given before."
Sue continued, "l learned something about good self-promotion during your speech too."  She said, "As you spoke, you gave brief specific examples of how you used your body language expertise to solve a client’s problems and I saw how it gave you increased level of credibility with the audience. " Each was just a few line story about a challenge and change that was made, but they were memorable. " Sue finished by saying, "But here is the funny thing Patti, I have had the opportunity my entire career to promote myself the way you did and I have never done it because I thought I would be bragging!

I told her she was a remarkable author and speaker and should own it and start self-promoting because men do so all the time!  I shared that for years I wanted to be a successful speaker but I never bragged telling myself I was shy. I worked hard, but I was not in the big leagues.   Then I looked around and realized that the male speakers would self promote. I know that you may be reading this and thinking, "Patti that's bragging!", but here is why I think it can work for you.

Think about the epistemology of bragging.  (That is whether something you say about yourself can be verified or not. ) Can you self How do I know you’re telling the truth when you claim to have achieved some great outcome?

I recommend   I said, I try to self- promote only with specific hard evidence.  In epistemology, if I do that that it makes it believable.  If there is a second of doubt in the listener's mind, if they think you are lying or inflating what you say is perceived negatively and it works against you. My friend Su
e quickly started using specific detailed self-promotion techniques. Doing this, and her hard work, led her to earn a tenured position and the raise she had long wanted and deserved.  

Research supports the notion that you should brag. Recent experiments conducted by Haifa University researcher Nurit Tal-Or examining the impact of bragging about those close to you (i.e. a family member or a colleague) vs. bragging about yourself suggest that people view people who brag about themselves as more competent than those who brag about others. "Bragging" (with specific and quantifiable examples of how you have achieved success) can actually be good for your career brand.

In fact, a 2011 Catalyst study found that the most powerful tactic for women in advancing their career was to make their achievements known. Calling attention to accomplishments led to more career satisfaction and was actually the only reliable factor associated with bigger raises. As much as we believe, or want to believe, that our achievements speak for themselves, that alone isn’t enough. We have to speak about them too.

— Janet Choi, CCO of iDoneThis

A great short article on the proper way to brag actually shows that bragging to strangers is more acceptable that bragging to friends. (Http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight/201009/the-proper-way-brag)

So help your career and brag a little.





Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Tips For Self Promotion for Women How to Brag Successfully So You Don't Look Like a Show Off.

Nine Tips for Self-Promotion for Women
How to Brag Successfully so You Don't Look Like a Show Off

Here are nine tips for the best way to brag in a politically correct manner and how to
successfully and gracefully self-promote.

1.  Be fearless and speak well of what you have done.
Yes, there is a gender-based difference in how men who self-promote are perceived and how women who say their accomplishments are perceived. It can change, but the research still shows that in traditional gender stereotypes men are admired for their work, physical and monetary accomplishments and women for their relationships, nurturing, social accomplishments But, that perception can ONLY change if women are courageous and speak well of their accomplishments without fear.  A good rule of thumb when sharing your success is to see how, when and what men are sharing about theirs and by balancing what you share about yourself with admiration and others. By seeing what others do that you respect, and admire and complimenting them directly and speaking well of them to others even when they aren't there. 

2.  Choose to do things that are worthy of self-promotion.
Be courageous, take risks. By this, I don't mean take on more tasks and be a workaholic, I mean be thoughtful in your choices. Spend your time wisely and with integrity. Volunteer for important projects. Help other team members. Work on committees, (You can choose to be on committees with important people.) Speak up at meetings with great ideas. Take the lead position on projects, suggest and spearhead innovations.

3.  Learn to tell a short self-promotional story.
 “Last week the most fantastic thing happened... “I had the best week this week……”, “I feel so great about something that happened this week...” and then tell about one specific success. Don’t preface it with how tired you are. Don’t list all you did, or how busy your week was. Tell one very brief story. A hero’s journey is interesting.  A recap of your to-do list or rundown of all the things on your outlook calendar is boring. If you have not read, "The Power of Myth" find it or at least read about it so you know what a hero's journey looks and sounds like. Make sure you include brag bites―pieces of relevant facts, such as clients that you’re working with, how long you’ve been in the industry, or a project you’ve recently completed.  

4.  Be very careful of your tone and nonverbal delivery
Look at how men get excited and make the telling of their hero’s journey into a fun journey for the listener.  Don’t be haughty and don’t hog too much time. Think how men share a sports success story, “I hit a home run, I caught the ball, I made a hole in one." People actually ENJOY listening because they feel the pleasure, excitement of the adventure and challenge along with the storyteller. But remember, women have a narrower band of acceptable delivery options so you can't be over the top and again you must tell a shorter story than a man. 

5.  Send a thoughtful email to a specific person about your accomplishments.
Men will email what they have done to accomplish their projects and you can do it too. If you see a good example of someone stating an accomplishment in an email you receive the model it. Don't send a group email listing your checked off to-dos. If you are not sure how it sounds read it out loud or try it out on someone who can be brutally honest with you about how it sounds.  

6.  Make your work visible by spending time with people.
Talk to people who can recommend you. Take influential people out for coffee or lunch, stop by people’s offices and ask what they are up to. Spend productive time-sharing and visiting in the break room.
  
7.  Compliment and "brag on" other women. 
When you focus on others accomplishments and notice what is worthy of praise your energy is focused in the right place and you learn what matters. One simple way to give praise is with an introduction. For example, when you introduce your female friends, coworkers and business friends to someone new share their name and an accomplishment. "Jim, this is Sara Beckman, she just headed up the committee for our new quarter sales meeting and it was fantastic." "Tom, this is Morgan Tyler, she just spearheaded the new marketing project." "Karl, this is Veronica Mann, she works with our top client Prudential."

8.  Ask other women to brag for you.
If you have established healthy, reciprocal, working relationships with other women it is perfectly acceptable to ask them to help you by giving a brag boost. You can even ask someone to share something specific to someone specific. But if you do this, I advise that you always reciprocate. Be the person that says and shares positive things about others.

9.  Be a good listener.
We like people who listen to us and often imbue them with good behaviors. If you want people to listen to you share your successes, be the best listener for them. It will not only make you more discriminating about what and how you self-promote but more importantly it is just gracious behavior.

For other ways to look good at work you can check out other articles.
Five Ways to Give a Great First Impression
http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=11491
Nonverbal Cues of a Good Listener
http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=2323
How Do We Know Someone is Credible within Seconds of Meeting Them?
http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=10452

On a personal note:
When I was in my late thirties, I was at a party with my fiancé at the time and someone asked me what I did for a living. I said, "I am a body language expert and professional speaker."
Later my fiancé chastised me for saying I was a body language expert. I remember going through a cascade of different emotions and revelations at that moment.

First I felt shame at the thought that I could have been inappropriate and a braggart. But then I realized that was not what I should feel.  I should feel proud of being an expert. Then a stronger emotion took over and I was angry at my fiancé for not seeing me for all I was. Then I felt disappointment in myself as I realized that he might not even know all that I had accomplished. I had never told him.  
But, I did manage to do with him, something I had not done well until that moment, brag. I said, “I have several degrees in nonverbal communication, I taught body language at two universities. My body language class at Florida State averaged 150 students each semester and was voted one of the most popular college courses in the country. I have been researching and consulting on the topic for many years. I have written a book on body language. And I have been speaking on the topic to the top companies around the world for many years. I am an expert!”
I may have been inappropriate and given too much of a laundry list, but by god, I bragged.  It was a seminal moment. A watershed if you will, where I consciously took pride in what I have done and what I do.                                                      


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.