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Showing posts with label danger at first sight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label danger at first sight. Show all posts

Why White Supremacist Men May Believe That They are Attractive to Women.

Today a magazine asked me this question, "Why do white supremacist men believe they are attractive and can sleep with whoever they want?" which was prompted by this bizarre Twitter storm:

https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/896545206245445632

By Patti Wood, Professional Speaker, researcher and author of “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

I am feeling disgust and outrage toward the white supremacist Coincidentally, I have been asked by the media to respond to a twitter feed that is going wild right now in which a white supremacists states that women are attracted to them and want to sleep with them. Here are the eight reasons I think they may be saying this.

8 Reasons that white supremacist men (accurately one crazy guy on twitter) may feel that women find them attractive and or that they can have any women they want and or claim that women like dangerous men so they (one crazy guy on twitter) can have any women they like?

1.      They may misinterpret attention as attraction -These white supremacist angry men may experience that they get noticed when they express their anger, and ironically conclude, that the attention means they are attractive, when in fact they are noticed and people continue to pay attention to them because we notice and pay attention to what is dangerous. Here is the research on that. Angry Men Get Noticed. (Do Angry Men Get Noticed? Science Daily (June 7, 2006) — by comparing how quickly human facial expressions of different types are detected in a crowd of neutral faces, researchers have demonstrated that male angry faces are a priority for visual processing.) They may spin that as they did in the twitter feed.

2.      Their groups may encourage and allow them to show power cues that increase their sense of power and entitlement. The four first impression factors according to research are credibility, likeability, attractiveness and power. Power is communicated by several factors most related to alpha characteristics. Two of those are size and bulk. Others are taking over space, large gestures, gesturing with objects, carrying weapons such as marching or attacking and loudness like yelling and shouting.
3.      They may believe all women like dangerous men. Popular culture may foster that “Bad” boys may seem to show characteristics of good mates like high testosterone. For example, nonverbal research indicates that smiling is an indication of low testosterone and lack of smiling is an indication of high testosterone. I talk about anger and power in the points that follow, but there is also popular culture’s take on bad boy attraction. https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/why-women-love-bad-boys-2015-11

4.      They may have seen women have an intense physiological response to their danger signals. But do women really LIKE dangerous men? I believe women are afraid of dangerous men. Some women misidentify their body’s response to danger as attraction. I have coined the term for what happens as danger at first sight.  They see a dangerous man and their limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint response. Women may misread their physiological responses to danger such as increased heart rate, pulse, flushing, panting, increases in adrenaline and cortisol and say, “Oh!, when it may really be the central nervous systems way of saying, “Run, for the hills, (or faint, freeze or fight.)
5.      They may have felt empowered by their anger and see its effects.  Anger can make others perceive you as powerful. Research shows that angry people are more likely to get promoted, perceived as more competent, and showing leadership and capability. (see my article for more details  http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=7831)
 I believe that is because it temporality makes you feel powerful when underneath you feel powerless. For example we know that many domestic violence cases arise when spouses who have lost or do not have a job have a feeling of powerlessness that can create a need to dominate whoever they feel is weaker. So angry men, especially when riled up in a frenzy of a fight/march may feel they can dominate and have what they want. Anger increases the heart rate and blood pressure of the angry person speaking and the listener. That can make those that are feeling anger stronger, Anger is considered the most highly contagious emotion and it spreads. Research also says it is a persuasive emotion.

6.      They may suffer from Insular Group Comparison – By that very notion WS groups are isolated from the larger society and that isolation can make those within it compare themselves only to the small group of men within rather than ALL men. By bases of comparison, they then can find themselves more attractive. See bottom of page for more on group think.

7.      They may suffer from Group think- Irving Janis defined it, “occurs when a group makes faulty decisions, and has illusion of invulnerability and excessive optimism.” The “draw” to white supremacist groups is that you have more to gain (from joining) the possibility of money fame, power. (https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2002/author-kathleen-blee-discusses-role-women-white-supremacist-groups)
So if you are isolated in this group of men who tell you, “Dude, we have got the power,” “We can have any women we want then your group think can make you think it is true and dissenting from that viewpoint may cost you membership in the group and not just execution but dangerous repercussions if you leave.

8.      They may see women in their groups that kowtow and globalize their behavior to all women. There are also women in these groups and from the small amount of research out there, the women in the groups have to kowtow and obey the men in the group. So the men isolated in the group, may come to believe ALL women see them as powerful and that they will bow down.
Janis Irving has documented eight symptoms of groupthink:


  1. Illusion of invulnerability –Creates excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.
  2. Collective rationalization – Members discount warnings and do not reconsider their assumptions.
  3. Belief in inherent morality – Members believe in the rightness of their cause and therefore ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.
  4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Negative views of “enemy” make effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.
  5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Members are under pressure not to express arguments against any of the group’s views.
  6. Self-censorship – Doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus are not expressed.
  7. Illusion of unanimity – The majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.
  8. Self-appointed ‘mindguards’ – Members protect the group and the leader from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decision
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Five Mistakes People Make When It Comes To Their Love Lives



  1.  Falling in LUST at first sight.  The notion of Lust at first sight seems obvious after the relationship is over, but can seem like true love each time you fall into it. The problem is, you are so physically attracted that it blinds you to what the person’s true personality, or even an accurate read of the two critical first impression factors credibly and likability. Hormones are powerful. 
  2.  DANGER at first sight.  DANGER at first site is very interesting as it is a misread of our physiological responses to danger. When we see someone dangerous the limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fall or Faint Response. We might misread the heart racing, breathless physical state and think this is so intense this must be love, when it may really be the central nervous system's response to someone very scary. So don’t date that guy or gal run for the hills. Look for Danger signals. From overly aggressive forward motions,  unappreciated touch to ignoring your "discomfort" cues to seeing if someone has "closed heart window" and or "closed palm window". There are so many danger at first sight cues. 
  3. Ideal projection- Falling for the” idea” of a person rather than the real person. Everybody does it to some extent and in a long term relationship research shows a little bit of idealizing helps you believe the best about your partner. But it can be dangerous if you are truly blind to a person faults, . You need to see what is there rather than what is being faked. There are so many cues given off in the first fifteen minutes of a conversation that are tell you truth, and give you insight into the real person. Oddly one simple cue, how much time they spend gently gazing is incredibly revealing, that is, not staring, but a look, smile, look away, look again. sequence of cues.
  4. Frozen with fear -Keeping you from getting in the fame. Being afraid to go out and meet people and date, because you are concerned about choosing incorrectly, not being accepted, or getting terribly hurt. Or if you are dating or in a relationship, frozen with fear so you don’t talk to your partner, fix problems or get out if the relationship is toxic. There are so many people frozen in bad relationships. Frozen might be a great animated film, but it is not how you want to spend your life. There are too many people frozen and in need of warmth in their lives. 
  5. Faking it – It was fun to pretend as a kid, not so fun as a grown up. Beware of pretending you love someone. Pretending you are happy. Pretending you are someone you are not. First of all that is a heck of a lot of work and a lots of heartache for all involved. 

I write more extensively on these issues on this blog as these are problems I have researched and written about since I taught body language at Florida State. You can find more on the blog by typing in the key mistake! 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Seems like his first impression should have been a clue...a story of “Danger at First Sight.”

I imagine many of us have been attracted to someone who was not good for us. A phenomenon I have researched and labeled danger at first sight.
Working on my book on first impressions today I came across the story at the link below.
A guy went out on a date and stole his date's car. Not good. Then I looked at an undated photo of the car thief that came with the story he looked, scary very scary.
A red streak down the middle of his hair, piercings all over, and a sneer on his face that could make a tiger turn around and run.
If this was how he looked on their first date, a date she apparently went to
pick him up for, there is a reason she should buy my book when it comes out.
Look at his photo and tell me his first impression should have been a clue.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45695569/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.