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Showing posts with label first impressions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first impressions. Show all posts

How Greeting Behavior Effects Relationships. Why Greeting Your Partner, Spouse, Family at the Door is Important. Greeting Loved Ones and the Primacy Effect.



When I Get Home You Run To Me

Every evening when my father came through the door from work, he would give a high two-note whistle to signal he was home and my mother, my sisters and I would run to him. It did not matter what we were doing. My mother’s cake batter could be stirred later, my sister’s music or homework could be tended to later and my Barbie could wait to go out in the convertible with Ken. Daddy was our priority, we loved him, and we would run to him, sharing hugs and kisses. He would grab me in his arms and throw me in the air. We would all share love and laughter. This is what love looked like to me and I thought everyone shared it.  

Years later I learned how special and valuable that ritual is. I was about four years into a relationship with my love, my fiancé Bud. And every day no matter what I was doing, on a deadline for a proposal, deep into writing a speech, or on the phone with an important client in my upstairs office, when I heard Bud come home, I would stop whatever I was doing and run to him, leap to his arms and kiss him. It was wonderful.

One day Bud came home and ran to him and while I was in his arms, my head resting on his chest, he started crying, I led him to the sofa and asked him what was wrong. Bud had been married and divorced two times when I met him, and he had a life-limiting health issue. He had been through a lot. He said, "Patti, you know I was married twice before I met you and you know my family, my parents were never affectionate. And some days at work it is so hard, and I must go out to my car in the parking lot and do my breathing exercises and it can get so bad. But I just hold on, because I know with absolute certainty that when I come home you will run to me. I have never been loved like this before, I didn’t even know what it looked like, but now I have it and love you so much for always running to me."

I share with my audience around the country the importance of greeting your loved ones in my Body Language and First Impressions speech, but I do not share this story in every speech, because when I do share it, I start to tear up. He should have had that kind of love his whole life. I wrote a song about it that is at the bottom of the article. Also when I share it I get phone calls and emails from audience members sharing how profoundly changing their greeting behavior impacted their relationships.

Here is the science behind it that shows how important it is in all our relationships. 

In Persuasion Theory, the Primacy Effect profoundly affects our viewpoint. The Primacy effect says people remember the first thing you say or do. In my book, "SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma" I share insights into how first impressions impact our relationships. The first thing you say or do when you come through the door or when someone you love comes through the door is what they will most easily remember about you for the rest of the evening, or longer. Your first behavior also creates an “Anchoring Bias." That is that we rely heavily, sometimes too heavily, on the first behavior, that first piece of information we get about someone. Greeting loved ones at the door is a first-behavior opportunity. It is the first set of behaviors we have about how the person or people in the house feel about us.

I highly recommend that no matter where you are in the house, drop whatever you are doing, and greet your sweetie and other family members with a kiss or a hug hello. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, working, cooking, online, watching TV, whatever. It communicates that they are the most important thing to you.

In business, the Primacy Effect and Anchoring Bias affect how customers see your business and how employees feel about their fellow team members, managers, and executives. For example, if you come into the workplace or a meeting while on your phone and do not greet people in the room you are communicating to them that they are not important.

Here is a related article for you about your business greeting impression. https://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=13306

In addition to being an author and keynote speaker, I am a songwriter. Here is the song I wrote about the feeling someone gets from having you run to them written from my FiancĂ©’s Perspective. 

 You Run to Me   

by Patti Wood 

Mornings, I kiss you, grab my coffee and I drive. 

I turn on the radio, the traffic hell on 285.

At work I’m invisible, no one even knows what I do.

Break my back, gets no thanks, but I grind through.

Life is hard, takes me low, 

but one thing is guaranteed,

I can get through bad days ‘cause I know.

When I get home, you run to me.

When I get home, you run to me. 

Today everybody’s tense. They let 2 guys go. 

Have to stay late. I’m tired, but I don’t let it show.

I hold on to thought of you in my arms all day.

Roll up my sleeves, buckle down, earn my pay.

Life is hard, takes me low, 

but one thing’s guaranteed.

I can get through bad days ‘cause I know.

When I get home, you run to me.

When I get home, you run to me.

 Bridge

I’ve never told you this before.

How you make me feel when I open the door

That there’s one thing I am certain of

I can always count on your love.

Life is hard, takes me low,

but one thing’s guaranteed. 

I can get through the bad days ‘cause I know.

When I get home, you run to me.

When I get home, you run to me.

When I get home, you run to me.

                   


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     


What Did You Think Of Me When You First Met Me? First Impressions, Online Photos and Videos


“What did you think of me when you first met me?” This is a question I am asked often. Do you ever wonder how you and your work team look to your customers/clients online vs. face-to-face interactions? One of my areas of research and one of my body language books and my most popular keynote speech is on first impressions. I do research and consult with my clients business first impression and one of the things you may not know is that online your first impression is likely to be perceived more negatively than a first impression you give out face-to-face

So if you have photos of yourself on linked in and or photos and videos of you online for your business or you skype for some of your initial business meetings be aware that you may want to be the very best you!

 
Here is the research article that discusses why this negative bias occurs.

“If you want to make a good impression, it is critical that it is done in person,” said Jeremy Biesanz, Ph.D., of the University of British Columbia, who conducted three studies comparing the accuracy and bias of first impressions when formed under different circumstances.

The first study analyzed a series of experiments involving more than 1,000 participants who met each other through either a three-minute speed-dating style interview or by watching a video of the person.

“What we observe here is that the accuracy of impressions is the same when you meet someone face to face or simply watch a video of them,” Biesanz said. “However, impressions are much more negative when you form impressions more passively through watching videotapes.”

While people could accurately attribute certain personality traits, such as extroverted, arrogant, or sociable, to others in person or by video, the magnitude of the positive attributes was lower via video, while the negatives attributes were higher.

The researchers found similar results in two other studies, including one that compared in-person impressions to those obtained by looking at Facebook photos. The other study compared in-person meetings to simply watching someone as a passive observer. In all cases, the passive means of making impressions were as accurate as the active ones, according to the researchers.

“However, there is an extremely large difference in the positivity of impressions,” he said. “More passive impressions are substantially more negative.”

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

First Impressions, Handshakes Are Key To Women In Leadership

Below is an article in NEWSOK.com highlighting Patti's recent program for Meinders School of Business in Oklahoma City.

First impressions, handshakes are key to women in leadership





By:Paula Burkes | April 20, 2016
Attention businesswomen: Want to be more successful in the workplace? Don't worry so much, and master the perfect handshake. Such was the advice of presenters at a women's leadership conference on Wednesday that drew 310 attendees to the Cox Convention Center. Oklahoma City University's Meinders School of Business hosted the seventh annual event, which was presented by the Chickasaw Nation.
Nancy Parsons, CEO of Tulsa-founded and now Texas-based CDR Assessment Group, said studies show men and women are basically equal in leadership energy, calmness and emotions.
“But under pressure, men dominate and women tend to move away and not speak up,” she said.

Her company offers coaching tools that, along with leadership characteristics, measure inherent negative risk factors, including rule breaking, egotism and upstaging, which all are more common to men but — perception-wise — more detrimental to women, Parsons said.
For example, a male rule breaker is seen as a change agent, while a female rule breaker is viewed as inconsistent, she said. Meanwhile, an egotistical male is perceived as overconfident, while an egotistical female frequently is called the b word.
“We're taking ourselves out of the running for fear of failure,” Parsons said. “We women often work harder, putting in 80 hours, but we're not being noticed because we're not speaking up,” she said, noting worrying is seen as a lack of courage, and companies want leaders with courage.
Atlanta-based body language expert Patti Wood said first impressions on credibility, likability, attraction and power are made within the first second of meeting someone, and take up to six months of face-to-face interaction to change.
Because women want to be perceived as equals, they always should extend their hands for handshakes, Wood said.
When someone approaches, people should raise their eyebrows to show an openness, which causes approachers to be open, Wood said. “Then scoop in, with your hand tilted down, so you get a palm-to-palm firm grip, versus someone grabbing the end of your fingers in a wimpy handshake,” she said.
To compensate for bone-crusher handshakes: “Use your free hand to encompass the shake, and send the symbolic message, ‘You're surrounded,' ” she said.
For shakers who won't let go: “Lean in over your right foot, to discombobulate them so they'll loosen their grip and you can splay your fingers and break down and away.”
Other conference highlights include:
•Jaynie Studenmund, a public company board member of LifeLock, Pinnacle Entertainment and Core Logic, and former southern California banking and Internet executive, said colleagues always trump products.
“An A group of people can turn a B product into an A product,” she said. Also, “keep walking cash, so you're not emboldened to a particular job because of what it pays” and “Take jobs or board positions to get out of your comfort zone.”
•Brian Uzzi, a professor of the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, said networking is not about having lunch, but sharing sports, nonprofit, community service and other activities with something at stake, such as a record to break.
“Through shared activities, we build trust with a diverse group of people who see our true colors,” Uzzi said.
Bill Gates' big break came through his mom's service with an IBM executive on a United Way board, he said. When IBM opened up its desktop publishing division, it — at the suggestion of Gates' mom, Mary Gates — opened proposals to smaller companies and Microsoft won the exclusive licensing agreement.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Do Angry Politicians Get More Attention?

Do Angry Politicians Get More Attention?
                                                   
Are you wondering why there is so much anger, bulling and ugly behavior in this presidential race? Research explains why Trump’s anger is working.

Angry Men Get Noticed.
Do Angry Men Get Noticed?
Science Daily (June 7, 2006) — By comparing how quickly human facial expressions of different types are detected in a crowd of neutral faces, researchers have demonstrated that male angry faces are a priority for visual processing -- particularly for male observers. The findings are reported by Mark Williams of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Jason Mattingley of the University of Melbourne, Australia, and appear in the June 6th issue of Current Biology.

In evolutionary terms, it makes sense that our attention is attracted by threat in the environment. It has long been hypothesized that facial expressions that signal potential threat, such as anger, may capture attention and therefore "stand out" in a crowd. In fact, there are specific brain regions that are dedicated to processing threatening facial expressions. Given the many differences between males and females, with males being larger and more physically aggressive than females, one might also suspect differences in the way in which a threat is detected from individuals of different genders.

In the new work, Williams and Mattingley show that angry male faces are found more rapidly than angry female faces by both men and women. In addition, men find angry faces of both genders faster than women, whereas women find socially relevant expressions (for example, happy or sad) more rapidly. The work suggests that although males are biased toward detecting threatening faces, and females are more attuned to socially relevant expressions, both sexes prioritize the detection of angry male faces; in short, angry men get noticed. The advantage for detecting angry male faces is consistent with the notion that human perceptual processes have been shaped by evolutionary pressures arising from the social environment.

Reference: Mark A. Williams of Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts and University of Melbourne in Parkville, Victoria, Australia; Jason B. Mattingley of Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Williams et al.: "Correspondence: Do angry men get noticed?" Publishing in Current Biology 16, R402-404, June 6, 2006. www.current-biology.com


 Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Articles on reading men’s body language, first impressions, reading your coworkers and goal setting

Articles on reading men’s body language, first impressions, reading your coworkers and goal setting are below. You can either link to the online article or scroll down to read the text here.
Decoding Men’s Body Language
Make a Great First Impression
What Do Your Coworkers Really Think About You
Decode His Body Language Signals (Has  Photos of Men’s Tells)
How to Reach Your Goals


Decoding His Body Language
Family & Relationships
by Chelsea-Lysette  |  on December 3rd, 2012  |  0 comment(s)


The male mind is a complicated thing to understand. Guys complain about females being a complex and difficult being to comprehend but men are just as much of a mystery as we are. Chances are you’ve come across a male in your life that basically through you for a loop. You couldn’t tell whether he liked you; or if he did it was hard to decipher if his feelings were non-committal or sincere; and your feelings about him were dependent on what he thought of you or how he felt. Now deciphering all this would be easy if women were mind readers and our only mission in life was to love and be loved. But let’s face it, neither one of those are real. We can only read what we see, which is why understanding a guy’s body language is critical to knowing whether he is interested in you and what his intentions are right from the very first introduction.
His aim: according to body language specialist Patti Wood, a man will aim his upper body at the most meaningful thing in the room to him. Even if his face is looking one way, his upper body will say it all and
The flash smile: this movement is lightning-quick so keep a close eye out. According to Tonya Reiman, author of The Power of Body Language, when a guy raises his eyebrow quickly and smiles it’s safe to assume he is genuinely attracted to you. During this movement, the guy will quickly lift his eyebrows and wrinkle his forehead. If you can catch a glimpse of it, you’ll know if he’s attracted to you.
Three Shades of Smiles: the first is the coy smile, which is one of the more sincere smiles that will tell a woman when a guy sees you more than just a bed buddy. If he puts on a mixed grin and smile then the guy is definitely interested in you but may not want to give too much away at first. He could be shy or just making an attempt at being subtle but this is definitely one of the better signs. But ladies, do not get this confused with the half-smile, which screams a ‘no-strings attached’ kind of attitude. The coy smile is more of a shy grin while the half smile is more of a sneer-like grin. Beware! The tight-lipped smile is commonly known as the ‘polite smile,’ which basically leaves you in the friend-zone—for the time being. It’s his way of saying “thanks, but no thanks.” It’s not a complete loss though, there is still time for him to eventually develop potential feelings.
The gaze: if a guy holds your gaze for more than five seconds, it most likely means he only has sex with you on his mind. Not that the gazer shouldn’t be taken seriously as being potential dating material, but there’s a possibility that he only sees you as the freak in the sheets and not a woman in the streets.
His stance: guys love to show off their greatest asset, and most of the time they think it’s their crotch. More often than not, a man will stand or sit with his legs apart. Either way, he’s making it a point to draw your attention to his groin. This movement is called the “crotch display.” Tracy Cox, author of Superflirt, says that this move shows ‘machismo’ and manhood. So look out for the thumbs on the belt loop or a ‘subtle’ touch of his family jewels; if he’s going to point them out, you might as well look!
Understanding a guy’s body language from the very first meeting is always difficult. There are so many factors to take in like setting, the kind of people you both are surrounded by, and the circumstances of the initial meeting. Stay tuned for more to learn what his body language means when your dating, when your sleeping together, and when the relationship is all said an done!



Meeting someone new? Don’t skip the formalities. Shaking hands before a social interaction makes a more positive impression than a no-handshake greeting, according to an article to be published in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience.
Researchers tracked the brain activity of people who watched and rated videos of non-verbal guest-host exchanges. During handshake exchanges, the results showed increased activity in the brain’s reward processing region, which the researchers say demonstrates a link between the positive impact of a handshake and social evaluation.
But a handshake is more than just part of a friendly introduction—it helps break the ice, too, says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma. Shaking hands began as peace offering—proof you didn’t have any weapons, Wood says. Nowadays it still has the same primal effect of breaking down the “stranger barrier,” she explains. Go without the handshake, however, and “it will take longer to feel comfortable and safe with someone,” she says.
Think your shake needs assistance? Wood says to start early when meeting someone new. “Put your hand out to prepare for a handshake at least four to six feet away from the person,” she says. That way your new acquaintance isn’t surprised by your gesture, and there’s no risk of crowding each other.
Want to avoid a weak grip or the embarrassing fingers-only fumble? “Pointing your fingers down and scooping into the palm of the other person’s hand will prevent them from grabbing too shallow or getting a wimpy handshake,” Wood says.


What Your Co-Workers Really Think
Posted on: June 26th, 2013 by Thamar Houliston






Find out what your colleagues think of you…
Your Colleagues Like You If…
They Initiate Conversations
Coffee clicks have gone the way of cigarette breaks – they’re all but extinct. Nowadays most people communicate by email, IM, or phone. “So if your colleagues are chatting you up in the hallway, they’re taking time to break routine to speak to you,” says body language expert Patti Wood. If they avert their eyes or sneak glances at their watches during a conversation, they may not be so into you.
They Offer Feedback
During a one-on-one, does your colleague nod thoughtfully and lean into your conversation? Do the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles in response to funny comments you make? “The more animated a person’s face, the more emotionally invested they are in the conversation,” says Tonya Reiman, author of The Power of Body Language.
They’re Smooth Talkers
“People deviate from their normal speech patterns when they’re nervous or uncomfortable,” says body language expert Maryann Karinch, co-author of How to Spot a Liar. Someone who normally speaks at a leisurely pace might become a speed talker, while a person who usually talks quickly might pause for long moments. If they enjoy your company, you won’t notice a change in their vocal stride.
Your Colleagues Respect You If…
They Keep Quiet
Asking for your opinion – that’s a no-brainer. But letting you take control of a conversation is a less obvious way to show how much they care about what you have to say. “You can see the degree to which other people respect you by observing how often they look to you for a reaction or a cue,” says psychologist Ann Demarais, co-author of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You. “And when a problem arises, they turn to face you.”
They Make Room For You
“When you sit down at a meeting, see if your neighbours move their stuff closer to themselves and out of your way, or push their chair back a bit to give you more room,” Demarais says. “That shows respect.”
They Copy You
What they say about imitation and flattery is true: “Subconsciously, we try to mirror people we like and respect,” Reiman says. So if you notice your colleague mimicking your movements – for example, picking up her pen or cupping her chin with her hand when you do – she probably admires you.
A Colleague Has A Crush On You If…
He Goes The Extra Mile
He spends an hour trying to fix your frozen computer, gives up his chair at a crowded conference room table, or offers to pick you up a latte during his afternoon coffee run. Maybe he’s just an incredibly nice guy – but more likely, he’s into you.
He Drops Your Name
Saying things like “Hi, Jane,” or “How are you doing, Jane?” may seem like common courtesy, but it’s actually an intimate gesture. Consider it the verbal equivalent of a touch on the arm – a way to get more personal.
He’s A Stand-Up Guy
In the civilised world as in the wild, strong, physically imposing alpha males have the best shot at mating. So men instinctively want to make themselves seem bigger and badder around women they’re interested in, Reiman says. If he suddenly stops slouching and puffs out his chest when he’s around you (the old “I’m just stretching my arms” routine), take note – he may have a crush.

http://www.womenshealthsa.co.za/sex-love/decode-him/read-his-signals/



Read His Signals
Posted on: May 1st, 2013 by Lori Cohen

















What’s he really thinking? Find out just by looking at him…

He’s Lying













The Clue: He keeps scratching his nose or ears.
When a man is afraid of being caught in a lie, his heart rate often accelerates and blood rushes to his nose, ears and forehead, creating an itchy, tingly sensation.
Your Move: To get the truth out of him, put on your friendliest face. Then frame your questions in a way that sounds like you’re being curious rather than accusatory. A fibber will rarely plot out the minutiae of his story, so if you listen long enough he may get tripped up in his convoluted tale and spill the beans.



He’s Second-Guessing Your Relationship












The Clue: He always seems to be holding something in his hands.
He may be avoiding intimacy, since keeping his paws occupied prevents him from touching you. “Creating physical distance until he’s ready to make a decision is often how men process their feelings,” says body-language expert Patti Wood.
Your Move: Call him on it. Say, “I love that we’re so open with each other, but I feel like you’re not telling me something.” If he blows you off, press him by saying, “I can handle whatever it is.” This might convince him you won’t freak out – a major fear men have about self-expression, says Dr Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happy Families. If he starts talking, great, but if he’s indecisive about the relationship, suggest finding some space until he knows where he stands.



He Has Something To Confess












The Clue: He draws his lips.
“When a man has to get something off his chest, his mouth will tense up and he’ll press his lips together as if he can’t decide whether he should open his mouth and upload the bad news,” says Wood.
Your Move: When an enquiry sounds sincere, it can calm a suspect – er, man – into making a confession. Try something like, “You look upset. Anything you want to tell me?” No matter what, remain deadpan, even if what he says upsets you. “The best way to get information from a guy is to keep a neutral expression while he speaks so he won’t change his story based on your reaction,” says Haltzman.



His Ego Is Wounded


T










The Clue: He holds one of his wrists.
“It may appear that he’s adjusting his watch, but it can be a sign that he’s feeling insecure,” says Wood. It’s like he’s protecting himself – his arm acts like a shield positioned across his body.
Your Move: Guys love to feel like superheroes, so when his boss lambastes him or you dis him (inadvertently), his confidence can plummet. “When a man’s feelings are hurt or he’s trying to sort out a particular issue, he feels powerless,” says Haltzman. “Give him some alone time to think the issue through and regain control.”



REACH YOUR GOALS
The Start-Smart Strategy for Success
Want to turn goal-setting into goal-getting? Here's how to reach your professional, financial, and personal potential–starting now!
Published: May 1, 2012  |  By Caitlin Carlson
The Start-Smart Strategy for Success Want to turn goal-setting into goal-getting? Here's how to reach your professional, financial, and personal potential–starting now!
Polka Dot/Thinkstock
Ah, unfinished tasks. Maybe it's that partially painted room in your house, a somewhat organized closet, or a folder full of research on stock options (but no stock). We all have those little reminders of good intentions gone astray. The trick to following through? Starting right. Studies show that getting off to a promising start triggers a positive chain reaction and makes it more likely you'll be successful and finish the job. "The stronger your start, the easier it will be to shift your focus to the end result and get past that tricky no-man's-land in between," says Art Markman, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the University of Texas and author of Smart Thinking: Three Essential Keys to Solve Problems, Innovate, and Get Things Done. Here, start-for-success strategies to achieve seven common goals.
The Start-Smart Strategy for Success
Want to turn goal-setting into goal-getting? Here's how to reach your professional, financial, and personal potential–starting now!
Published: May 1, 2012  |  By Caitlin Carlson













Goal 1: Create a Better First Impression
Start here: When meeting a new guy, don't freak— even if you're at your college pal's birthday party and she abruptly disappears after introducing you to one of her new colleagues. The key to a great conversation is starting off right. Make him feel at ease by stepping to his side, says Patti Wood, a communications and body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions. "While women like to chat face-to-face because it makes them feel heard and understood, this direct approach can make men feel as if they're facing an opponent, which will put them on the defensive," says Wood. Before there's time for an awkward silence to set in, "jump right in with a 'best' or 'favorite' question, like 'What's your favorite band?' (if there's music playing) or 'What's the
best cocktail you've ever had?'" she suggests. Positive-charged, springboard questions like these also work well in other potentially awkward situations, like, ahem, dinner with your new boyfriend's parents.
Goal 2: Get a Job you Love
Start here: Minimize trolling the Web for job openings and sending your résumé out into the abyss, says Anita Attridge, a career and executive coach. Fifty percent of jobs are never posted online, and 80 percent are obtained through networking or direct contact, according to The Five O'Clock Club, a national career coaching and outplacement organization. Build your network by first determining the industry, position, and geographic area of interest to you. Then identify specific companies you'd like to work for, and either call the company or search using LinkedIn to track down the direct contact info of the person who is in the position to hire you (e.g., the manager of the department that interests you). On
LinkedIn.com, check to see if you have any connections to that person or know anyone else at the company who may be able to clue you in on unlisted job openings. After all, 82 percent of the Fortune 100 companies from 2011 found job candidates using LinkedIn, and more than 2 million companies are listed on it.
Once you identify the person who is in a position to hire you, send a targeted letter to introduce yourself. Keep it brief, but be sure to include two or three bulleted accomplishments in addition to your skills and qualifications, says Attridge. Sign off with a request to meet in person for a half-hour informational meeting, and follow up with a call in the early morning or late afternoon to schedule it. The average number of calls it will take to reach a person is eight, so leave a message the first time and continue calling until you speak directly to the person.
Goal 3: Save Money for Retirement
Start here: "Speak with the HR department of your company and sign up for its 401(k), if one is offered," says Erin Botsford, CEO of The Botsford Group, a wealth-management firm. Contributing to your 401(k) is by far the easiest and most beneficial way to
save for retirement. "If your company matches your contribution, this is basically the equivalent of getting free money from your company, and you won't have to pay taxes on any of it until you take it out to use it," says Botsford. Ask your benefits coordinator in HR for the specifics and whether there's a certain amount of time you'll have to work there before the company's contribution becomes yours. Use an investment calculator online (try Dinkytown.net) to figure out exactly how much you'll have when you reach the age of 65 (if you invest $675 a month and get an average annual return of 8 percent, you can rack up over a million bucks after 30 years!). Within your 401(k), you get to decide how to invest all that hard-earned cash. The further you are from retiring, the more risks you can afford to take, so it may make sense to consider investing in stock mutual funds or ETFs since they traditionally outperform most other options. As you get closer to retiring, move your money to more stable investments, like money-market accounts, bonds, and stable value accounts. If you're self-employed or don't have the option of a 401(k), you can sign up for a tax-advantaged IRA. Start right (and ASAP!) and by the time you're ready to retire, you'll be able to turn all those earnings into a condo in sunny Florida.
Goal 4: Improve Your Diet
Start here: First, think about what you can add to your diet, not what you need to take out. "Instead of depriving or restricting yourself, think about food groups you may not be getting enough of," says Shana Sporman, a registered dietitian in Boston. If you rarely eat anything green, aim to eat at least one serving of
colorful produce (of any hue!) with lunch and dinner. When eaten consistently, these high-fiber foods can make you feel fuller longer, boost your energy, and improve digestion. Your body's natural biology craves this variety and balance, which studies show also affects your mood and ability to focus. Next, think about where you're overdoing it. If you need to tame that sweet tooth, start by making small, sustainable changes instead of going cold turkey. Substitute one pack of sweetener in your coffee for two, and instead of a scoop of ice cream, have a scoop of Greek yogurt covered with berries, or mix half a cup of regular Cheerios with your usual frosted O's. By easing into a big lifestyle change, whether it's cutting back on sugar or going organic, you'll be more likely to stick to it and be successful.
Goal 5: Redecorate Your Bedroom
Start here: Begin with your bed. It's the focal point of your bedroom, and something as simple as a new bedspread or duvet cover can transform the whole room and inspire a theme or color palette for the rest of your project. "Buy a new headboard (you can pick up a freestanding upholstered headboard for around $200 at Target) or fake it with a couple of 26-inch European square pillows with matching shams propped against the wall behind your regular pillows and throw pillows," says Lauri Ward, home design expert at Redecorate.com. A tailored bed skirt in the same fabric will tie the chic look together. Don't worry–it'll make the room feel symmetrical and relaxing, not matchy-matchy. Then think balance. Even if you live alone, buy a mate for your bedside table. (Note: The tables don't necessarily have to match, but if they're wood, they should have matching finishes.) Top the pair with matching lamps. "Just like shoes, you can never have too many pairs of anything, be it pillows, frames, or lamps," says Ward.
Goal 6: Start a Blog or Twitter Account
Start here: Whether you're creating a blog or a Twitter account, start by uploading your photo. "The default Twitter egg avatar is a common identifier of spam accounts, so adding a photo (headshots work best!) encourages others to follow you," says Steve Birkett, a new-media specialist who blogs at riseabovethestatic.com. Plus, a photo shows you've put some time into crafting your profile and gives potential followers an idea of who you are. Get your first tweet out there on a Tuesday, the busiest day for Twitter, according to studies. Introduce yourself in your first tweet with something like, "Starting to tweet! I'm an accountant in NYC, passionate about all things Web and music," and include a link to your blog if you have one. Start by tweeting three or four times a day, spaced out as evenly as possible. (The number of daily tweets varies greatly from user to user, so adjust your strategy however you'd like.) Your first blog post is crucial because it sets the scene for future posts. Put it up on Monday morning–people are most active online on weekday mornings, and getting it up early in the week is your best bet, says Birkett. Build a base of four to five posts before you really start talking it up. "Your visitors will have something substantial to dig in to, and the longer they stick around, the more likely they will be to subscribe," says Birkett. Subscription options are key, so make sure it's easy for visitors to subscribe to your RSS feed or to sign up via e-mail!
Goal 7: Freshen Up Your Look
Start here: "Your eyebrows can make or break your whole look—messy brows draw attention to other imperfections, such as less-than-perfect skin or messy makeup, while a defined brow shape makes everything look more symmetrical and polished," says Emily Kate Warren, a makeup artist in San Francisco. Make sure you have good light (natural light or a lighted makeup mirror works best) and tweeze any strays that are totally out of line. Then, brush hairs upward and use a blunt-ended eyebrow pencil (like SormĂ© eyebrow pencil in soft gray for dark hair or soft blonde for lighter hair, available at Amazon.com) to draw little dashes anywhere you see skin. Already got the perfect brows? Pick up a new blush in a fun, bright color. You'll instantly
look more energized, and studies show that men are drawn to women with flushed cheeks. When females of many primate species become fertile, their estrogen levels peak, opening up their blood vessels and turning their faces bright red. This flushed complexion seems to give males the signal that it's time to make their move. The same could be true for humans. In a previous study, scientists showed that men seem to be more attracted to women clothed in red rather than in a neutral color such as white. Men interpreted the red outfit as a signal that the woman was more open to sexual advances. Keep the color concentration on the apples of your cheeks and dust a finishing swipe across your nose.




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.