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Showing posts with label hands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hands. Show all posts

Pitt and Aniston's Body Language at the SAG Awards by Body Language Expert Patti Wood

These two have major chemistry!
Body language expert Patti Wood says we're not wrong to jump to that conclusion. According to the author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, Pitt and Aniston are making a "deep connection" in the photo. Wood points to Pitt's right hand, which clutches the statue. "His award is in his hand, but he holds it low, below his waist. What’s important to him is her," Wood says. Pitt's left hand, which grasps Aniston's right arm, bolsters that message. According to Wood, that's a grip that says, "Stay here with me."
Oprah Magazine Article

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Habits That are Hard to Quit but You'll be Glad You Did!

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

It's a cliché, but it's true. Body language is a crucial part of communicating. The way you act can warp the entire meaning of what you're saying.

That being said, bad body language habits are the often hardest habits to break. We become so accustomed to slouching, averting our eyes, or folding our arms that we barely even notice what we're doing.
Here are several body language mistakes that are going to be tough to ditch. Still, if you're able to quit them, you'll definitely thank yourself later.

Fidgeting
If you've gotten into the habit of fidgeting, it can be difficult to snap out of it. But it's important to take steps to reigning in this nervous habit.
Fidgeting demonstrates nervousness and a lack of power, as body-language expert and The Power of Body Language author Tonya Reiman previously told Business Insider.

Leave your hair alone. Constantly running your hands across your scalp and twirling your locks is pretty distracting. Plus, as ABC reported, it can damage your hair overtime. It can be hard to quit, so try playing around a stress ball instead of your hair.

Adopting a defensive pose
Many people naturally cross their arms or hunch over a bit just because they don't know what to do with their hands.
However, this posture can make you look uncomfortable, defensive, or untrustworthy.

“You should always keep your hands in view when you are talking,” Patti Wood, a body- language expert and author of “ SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma,” previously told Business Insider. When a listener can't see your hands, they wonder what you are hiding.“

Doing weird things with your hands
To gesture or not to gesture? That is the question. Some people keep too still while speaking, while others flail all over the place.

As The Washington Post reported, behavioural consultant Vanessa Van Edwards notes that using hand gestures while speaking is actually an effective way to engage your audience.

The trick is, avoiding the hand gestures that will trip you up. Don't point, don't pretend to conduct an imaginary orchestra (seriously), and don't get too choreographed.

Shuffling instead of walking
Humans are pretty judgmental creatures. We think we can tell a lot about someone based on snap judgments over something as simple as their manner of walking.

BBC reported that how we walk can actually determine our risk of being mugged. Criminals are less likely to target people walking with an air of confidence.

It can be hard to change up your walk once you've fallen into bad habits, but it's important to walk with confidence and coordination. Don't shuffle through life.

Forgetting to smile
Reiman previously told Business Insider that smiling demonstrates confidence, openness, warmth, and energy.

“It also sets off the mirror neurons in your listener, instructing them to smile back. Without the smile, an individual is often seen as grim or aloof,” she explained.

Appearing distracted
There's nothing more irritating than talking to someone who's clearly not paying attention to you.

Some people are just naturally distracted or busy, so it can be tempting to check your phone or watch at every available moment. Still, you've got to keep this impulse in check when you're around others. Otherwise, you'll just come across as a rude and uncaring person.

Slouching
Stand up straight. Terrible posture is easy to develop, especially if you're slouched over a desk for the majority of the day.

Slouching doesn't just make you look un-confident, writes Catherine New for Psychology Today, it's also bad for your back. Improve your health and the image you present to the world by standing up straight.

Nonexistent or aggressive eye contact
Here's another body language pitfall where moderation is key.

What Your Body Says (And How to Master the Message) author Sharon Sayler previously told Business Insider that the ideal amount of eye contact should be “a series of long glances instead of intense stares.”
Overly long stares can make whoever you're talking to pretty uncomfortable. On the other hand, averting your eyes indicates disgust or a lack of confidence.

Being too still
It's definitely good not to be jumping all over the place, constantly. However, you don't want to be too eerily calm during conversations. This may make people feel uneasy, or that you're not interested in what they're saying.

Instead, try to mirror the person you're speaking with. Don't mimic them - they'll probably get offended by that - but subtly copy some of their gestures and expressions. Writing for Psychology Today, Dr Jeff Thompson notes that mirroring will leave people perceiving you as positive and persuasive.

It can be tough to break out of your poker face, especially if you're just naturally not that expressive - but it's worth trying, since it can improve how you're perceived.

Mismatching verbal and non-verbal communication
You might be saying all the right things - but if your body language doesn't match up with your words, you might end up rubbing people the wrong way.

In fact, researchers at Sacred Heart University devoted an entire study to this phenomenon. Their subjects were married couples, but their finding was pretty universal — when verbal and non-verbal messages do not align, “nonverbal signals carry the brunt of the emotional message.”


Discussion Questions


  1. What is at least one bad body language habit that you have?
  2. Why is good body language important to someone in ministry?
  3. Share an instance where you mismatched verbal and non-verbal communication. 
  4. Think about a time when you are talking with someone. How has their body language affected your conversation and your response to them?
Link to article - http://www.freshenitup.org/blog/body-language-habits-that-are-hard-to-quitbut-youll-be-glad-you-did

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Cole Sprouse & Lili Reinhart's Body Language At The Met Gala Revealed Something Interesting About Their Sex Life

Of all star-studded events and award shows, no red carpet gives me more joy than that of the Met Gala. I mean, what more could I ask for? Amazing outfits, celebrities from all sorts of industries, and, of course, new celebrity couple debuts. Throughout the years, the event has been a popular place for celebrity couples to make their love public and last night was no exception. In fact, Riverdale stars Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart's body language at the Met Gala as they made their first official debut as ~lovers~ tells us a lot about their relationship.
For those of you who haven't quite been keeping up with the Riverdale stars IRL, they have been tactfully ignoring rumors about being an item for some time now. In fact, in a recent interview with Seventeen, Reinhart said:
Every time someone asks me about it, I make a decision then and there about whether I’m comfortable. It’s not like I’m in some kind of contract, but I’m not in the place where I want to talk about it, and that’s totally fine. It’s called a private life for a reason—it’s mine, and it’s special and sacred. My relationships are between me and whomever I’m with, not between me and the world.
So the fact that they finally took the plunge and made a public appearance together is a pretty huge deal. We spoke to Patti Wood, body language expertand author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, about what she took away from photos of the pair on their first public debut.
They may be having trouble sexually.

"There's some sweetness to this," Wood notes. "She's got this wonderful look and he's a little bit more stoic but he is looking at her and there's a nice overlay of their bodies. But there's a couple of things that are really tiny to me, but they're interesting."
"First, is that her legs are crossed and they're crossed tightly," she continues. "It may be the dress. But what's interesting is that, in this intimate moment with him, she's still very concerned about the dress and/or she needs to cross her legs which usually indicates a problem with sexuality in the relationship, a lack of fidelity in the relationship, or some kind of concern about sex." Wood highlights the fact that it really "could just be the dress but it's interesting that she's crossing her legs so tightly even when she's so close up to him."
The next thing Wood asks us to notice to is Lilli's right hand. "It's very awkward. It's doing a partial reach towards him open as if she wants to touch him but we don't see the touch," she explains. "There may be a photo with a touch in it but we don't see the touch and we don't see him matching with a symbolic touch to her. We see him straight up and down. He's not leaning into her, he's not putting his face towards her and he has a more closed face. It's not totally relaxed." Can you say awkward?
He matches her awkwardness with confidence.

"I love the hand on his chest," Wood notes about this photo. "It typically is endearing, it's a closeness and, to me, when I see this with the rest of her body language, it usually indicates that that's a position she takes when they're in bed together. She's doing this to get closer or more intimate or a feeling that reflects the intimacy." That being said, she notes that Reinhart's legs are still crossed "really, really tightly."
"What I like here is that her smile is off-kilter and a little bit awkward but he's looking really confident," she continues. "I like that his hand is around her, I wish I could see the fingers but he's a little bit happier in this position but, still, it's a little bit straight up and down. I would like some leaning in. But I do like that the face is much more relaxed."
OK, so it's really important to stress the fact that this was their first appearance together in public as a couple. Is it really that hard to believe their body language might not have been on point?



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Donald Trump, Small Hands, Big Hands and More. Why Size Matters When We Vote for President.



Donald Trump

Small Hands vs. Big Hands and More. Why Size Matters When We Vote for President.

Have you seen the video of Trump defending the size of his hands from Rubio’s attack and inferring he does not have any problems with his size? 

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2016/mar/04/trump-defends-his-manhood-after-rubios-small-hands-comment-video

Whether you will like him or not, I find it fascinating that the topic of hand size was mentioned by a presidential candidate. I am not surprised that any man with a large ego would defend his manly size. There are reasons why size matters when we vote for president.
You know I do research, write and speak about body language and first impressions. The popular vote tends to go to the most charismatic candidate and specifically the most alpha candidate. We want our leaders to be large! So, typically, the tallest and heaviest candidate wins the popular vote.  Hard to believe it but, even today in our advanced industrialized nation we want a strong healthy tribal leader who will protect us and take down the big game for us. And it does not matter if we are male or female our primitive limbic brain wants a strong, powerful leader that will have healthy genes to make good babies. 

We should vote for a president with the highest credibility as there is more to leadership than charisma and alpha power, but again and again it is the most charismatic, alpha candidate who we vote for. In the study, Harvard undergraduates who were shown ten-second silent video clips of unfamiliar candidates from 58 past gubernatorial elections consistently chose the candidate who won. They didn't hear a word the candidates said, but they almost without exception picked the winner. Their choices were made purely on the basis of body language. In fact, when they could hear what the candidates said, the students were no better at predicting who had won. Body Language trumps what a candidate says.

As to size of gestures and Trump's hands, here is something else that is interesting. Power is also communicated by gestures. Research shows that charismatic leaders use gestures in fact four times as many as others do when they talk. Charismatic speakers from Bill Clinton and Martin Luther King from Cesar Chavez to Donald Trump are charismatic people. Now picture their gestures. Now specifically think of Trump's gestures. We see him punctuating almost every sentence with a strong gesture. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Jodi Arias’ Fake Crying and Prosecutor Martinez’s Body Language


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGuLFWygmdM&feature=youtu.be

Right before Jodi Arias first dramatic emotional fake breakdown on Wednesday
We see Arias who for days has had a much smarter than you smirk towards the prosecutor getting cornered.  We see her start hooding eyes and the face turn down crinkles of fake sadness.  This fake sadness doesn’t fit the line of questioning.   Liars are desperate they use strong emotions like anger, sadness to manipulate our perception.  

How can you tell if a person is really remorseful versus someone who is crying because he or she got caught?
Here is what you can look for.  I train human resource officers to question suspicious employees. If someone is innocent she wants you to see she is innocent. She will typically move towards you and look at you to be sure you believe her. She won’t suddenly SNAP and hide behind a hair curtain and face block so you can’t see them. Face blocks for Jodi Arias include hand to eye, hand to mouth block, block with Kleenex, and block with arm to take off glasses. When someone is truly remorseful they are responding from the emotional brain. You will typically hear the emotion cry or sob or gulp just before they speak.  They will struggle to get the words out as words are in the neo cortex. Listen when someone is really upset they are acting from the emotional brain.

In your expert opinion -- those tears -- is Jodi Arias faking it?
She is faking it. It’s an “I’m caught” moment. If you looked at just the body language you might think poor, poor Jodi.  She is shown exhibit 78, the photo of the murder, and she knows she’s caught and wants to disappear and SNAP… but look closely and you notice the overacting.   She is using facial blocking motions and hair curtain to protect herself so she doesn’t have to look at the prosecutor. You know she feels caught and is acting because he calmly delvers her standard “I don’t know” there is not the vocal stress or word breaks.

Let's watch another key moment. Arias says she had to shoot Alexander because he attacked her like a linebacker. The prosecutor asked Arias to reenact how Alexander did it.       
Look at her hands. Hands show emotional state.  If Travis had really come at her like a linebacker to grab her remember and show the tension and gripping of his hands. It didn’t happen he didn’t grab her so she can’t fake those complex hunching, grabbing, forward motions. 

If you watch prosecutor Juan Martinez's tone and body language.
Back and forth he pushes her, then backs off, pushes her then backs off.  His behavior looked overly frenetic and at the beginning of his question it actually worked.   He steps forward to attack and backs off so she feels she’s safe.  She thinks she’s won then he is right back again.  On this day he clearly changed from a frustrated parent talking to a smart aleck teenager.  He vocally breaks into the middle of her lies cutting them to shreds. 


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Lance Armstrong’s body language during Oprah interview. Was Lance Armstrong Lying?

Below are my rough notes from the Lance Armstrong interview with Oprah.

Posture Tell
We expected and hoped that Lance Armstrong would be humble and contrite in his Oprah interview. We didn’t see his head down in shame shoulders down as he was asked about his bad behavior. Instead he starts the interview siting up and very comfortable and large taking up space in a stereotypical powerful American male leg cross. It is a blocking cross that protects him but signals his superiority.  This is telling and shows how he feels about Oprah Winfrey. The feet are the most honest portion of the body. Lance’s left leg is pointed away from Oprah Winfrey. Lance’s right leg crosses over his left protecting his pelvis and the bottom of Lance’s right foot is towards Oprah symbolically stepping and stomping on her.

Castle Hand Position
He is also in a double protective sitting position. His legs are crossed and his hands folded and resting on his lap with the fingers interlaced in what I call the castle wall. This hand position gives you something to do with your hands and protects you from frontal attack and is normal for anyone stressed or fearful but he does it in combination with a dominant leg cross of superiority showing he wants to “win “the interview.  He will protect himself and end on top.  He is saying with his body “I want to be in charge and I need to protect myself from this attack. “

As Oprah begins talking about how Lance agreed to this no holds bar interview… “Lance wipes his nose symbolically saying, “This doesn't smell good to me.

Lip Behavior
As she lays out the no holds bar open field interview parameters rules Lance Armstrong's mouth tightens and he brings his lips together. Lance also gives a pursed lip sour taste expression. This will be one of over 30 times he gives the lip suppression cue in the interview that indicate he is keeping in the truth and in this first instance also indicating that he is not looking forward to this interview.

This first set of lip suppression cues are not surprising considering the circumstances that led up to the interview and the stress of any Oprah interview, but it is interesting for Lance to do. He has successfully lied to interviewers and the press for many years. He rarely showed that cue before.  He has been able to present himself so well to the media for so many years.   

Eye Behavior and Suppressed Anger
He does show his acting skills in many of his responses. He is able to look Oprah directly in the eye with no eye movement cues as he responds throughout the interview. He is a confident deceiver. For example, he looks at Oprah directly as she asks him the first question.  He is still sitting in the cross leg castle wall protected and guarded position but he is looking at her with his head but the rest of his body is positioned so he is facing away from her.  He does a micro facial cue as he begins to answer the first question. There is a micro facial cue that is a fraction of the second of a true feeling expressed before the neocortex can control the limbic brain response to the situation of anger. This is going to be a very interesting interview.

Voice cues and Micro-facial cues
Lance says he looked up the definition of cheat instead of answering Oprah’s question, “Didn’t you know how big this (the story the deceit the betrayal) was.  He gets more upset with her. His voice gets louder he says, “You asked me the question and I said I didn't know.” and his head strikes out at her and he grimaces. He feels cornered. You also hear him stutter out his answer and his voice becomes strident. In addition you see a micro facial cue of rage come across his face just for an instant and he bares his teeth at Oprah.

Interesting when asked about his bad behavior he says, “I will spend the rest of my life …” then doesn’t finish the sentence.   This is Lance backing off his responsibility. He hesitates again and begins again, “I will spend the rest of my life trying to apologize to people.” First he does not say he will apologize he says he will try. Then he de-emphasizes others and puts the focus on his pain using the word I and my life.”  “I will spend the rest of my life.
He is self-focused on his pain rather than other focused. Recognizing the severe pain he caused others.  He emphasizes his suffering the price he will pay.

More anger shown towards Oprah.
Lance says, “I am happier today” and she calls him on it and he gets mad at Oprah and replies noting this is not the first time she caught he says, “Once again I said I was happier today.” He was vocally emphasizing the word today saying it loudly and forceful and adding a thrust of the chin forward toward Oprah and an explosive T in today. He then finishes the sentence, “Not yesterday Today.” a reply that makes no sense except to emphasize how he is able to lie by choosing certain wording. As former president Clinton said, “I did not have sexual relations (instead of the word intercourse) “He is accusing Oprah of misinterpreting him and shows suppressed anger again when she really just caught him in a lie.

When asked by Oprah if he paid off UCI so that they would look over what he had done.
Lance’s response is fascinating (very similar to his taped interrogation years ago by the way) He sweeps his head from his left to his right. But really his head sweeps forceful totally away from Oprah to retreat from the question then he catches himself and quickly swings it back.  In what I call the Shakespearean, “Thou doth protest too much.” 

Lance then presses his lips together he is overly enthusiastic in his denial which signals to me there's something not quite right in his response. He is lying.

When he is asked about the female masseuse that testified against him, Riley, he brings his hand up to cover his mouth and says, “She is one of those people I have to apologize to she is one of these people who got run over got bullied.” His word choice bullied instead of betrayed shows us that he thinks of the behavior as a school boy playing a game in a school yard.  When Oprah calls him on that sidestep saying, “You sued her and she was telling the truth,” Lance says, “To be honest with you and then rambles on smiling and even slightly laughing as he says “…there were so many people I am sure we did. “ He says it so lightly and races through it and smirks and even says, “I don't remember the many people I don't remember. To say in effect there were so many people I “won this game” I don't remember “is so appalling.  The smirk shows there is dissonance about how he feels about the situation. But the smile and laugh show he is not conflicted about what he did that was bad but indicates that he doesn't like getting caught in betrayal of so many people.

Eye Block
As he finishes this response he does an eye block bringing the eyelids down and keeping them closed more than normal baseline, this shows he feels cornered on this particular line of questioning he does not want to talk about how he sued his friends and terribly betrayed so many people. Normal behavior perhaps, but why didn’t he show shame and guilt?

Fist raised to Oprah
When Oprah says, “you're suing people knowing they're telling the truth what is that?” he responds with a long pause his hand goes up into a fist and he places that fist over his mouth again I believe he’s suppressing his anger his desire to punch Oprah in getting into this line of questioning the anger is all the way up and is tightly held together… To the glare in his eyes the timestamp at this point is one hour into the played interview. I wish I had a freeze frame screen grab of the steel sharp glare of his eyes.

When asked by Oprah did you call Betsy telling the truth about the women in the Indiana hospital he responded with a long pause again preparing what he wants to say to this statement rather than just coming out with the truth in a quick loud smooth flow that is his baseline for honest answers. He also shakes his head no and does an eye blink block and follows that with the glare at Oprah and twisted lips. He avoids answering the question and puts his hands over his knees wrapping them around the knee interlacing the fingers together to put a wall up between him and Oprah he really doesn't want to go here even knowing he agreed to any kind of questioning.

She asked if he made peace with them and he goes “me no” shouting it out and looks at Oprah like she's crazy and snarls again as an attack his wording in his response is telling. “…because they've been hurt too badly.” Notice he abdicates responsibility. The emphasis away from himself they've been hurt too badly instead of the how can they forgive me I've hurt them so badly. Why didn’t he say “because I hurt them so badly?”

Oprah calls him on his ability to rationalize his behavior
On suing the woman on defamation of character because he didn’t say she was fat. saying “Well, I called her a liar called her a bitch but I didn't call her fat.” He smiles and actually raises his body in pride at his skill at playing the right word game. He doesn't feel like he did anything bad. Interesting we see into the way he rationalizes here and he's actually laughing he’s figured it out it was a game to me. He does not say I did harm or I betrayed.

When asked about his under the breath use of the” whore word” Lance’s voice gets rough and he used the filler word as he says “not good” and he brings his chin down as he shakes his head no.

When asked by Oprah,  "when the Department of Justice dropped the case, I have to ask, why? "did you have any influence on that? Lance says with his words no but his head shakes yes. He does not complete the sentence in his response but he does smirk. He then brings his lips together in an eerie clown like closed lipped smile.

This shows he got away with something and he is secretly happy and gleeful that he did. Again in his mind he “won.” that game.

I wish I had I a screen grab of this at 1:18 on the taped show.

Lance says he disrespected the rules then uses the word but to split the answer. Know that when anyone speaks to you and makes a statement and follows it with the word but the truth comes after the word but.  He follows it with. “but because regardless of that generation when you have what was going on at the time.” So the truth he reveals is that he feels it was that generation that was responsible. Then Lance pauses and says, “but that was my choice and touches his chest with closed fingers. That's the first time I feel like at some level Lance is realizing that it was his choice that he does take responsibility.

When asked about his friend George being interviewed.

There are an awful lot of "buts” in his response.  Lance says, “I don't fault GEORGE KAPPY but…. shows in a fact that he does feel George was responsible that he is upset with George. Always listen to what is said after the "but" because that is the truth.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to make your body language work for you during an interview

Patti was interviewed by Miriam Salpeter of US News on, "How to make your body language work for you during an interview." Check the link below!

http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2012/12/12/make-your-body-language-work-for-you-during-an-interview

You’ve been practicing what to say at an interview, but have you considered what signals your body language is sending? (The Merrabian research I think you wanted to quote here Is not actually valid. Perhaps better to say it has 4.3 times the impact than words alone) Research suggests ____ percent of communication isn’t transmitted via our words, but is broadcast through our actions and attitude.

Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, suggests the following tips from the book to help you wow your interviewer:

Palm-to-Palm Contact Is Key. Wood explains, “My research is the US and Canada suggests that palm contact is more important than how firm your grip is…If someone shakes hands with you and gives you just her fingers and not her full palm, at a subconscious level you may think, ‘What is she hiding? What is she keeping from me?” Evaluate the all-important handshake and worry less about if you have a firm enough grip and more about extending your entire hand and palm when you greet someone.

How to Sit. Don’t make yourself smaller in stature. Appear brave by keeping your body open. Wood notes, “Keep your arms open and away from your body, legs uncrossed, and shoulders   back.”  Take note of how you sit. Wood explains, Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of the seat, curved forward, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. Perching the entire time makes you look less powerful. Vary your position, use lots of space, and occasionally place your arms on the armrest to look confident.” When you position yourself effectively, you’ll appear confident, vital, and energetic.

 Show Your Hands. Showing your hands helps you appear open, honest and approachable, so Wood notes,Don’t hide your hands under the table or in your pockets or tuck them away. Keep your hands open and in view on the table or the arms of the chair.” She explains, “Gesture normally. Your hands show your emotional state. When you close your hand, the amount of tightness and the way the fingers curve show how you feel about the topic. In an interview, you want to be open, not closed.”

Match and Mirror. Research shows that people hire people who are like them. Use body language to help convince your interviewer that you are a good fit. Wood suggests youmatch and mirror your interviewer enough briefly at the very beginning of the interview to make him comfortable with you. For example, lean slightly in the direction he is leaning, for instance, or match his smile with one of your own.”

Get Grounded. When the going get tough, the tough get grounded. Wood explains,When people are nervous, they tend to either move a lot or freeze. To overcome the toughest interview questions, put both feet firmly on the ground. This makes it easier to use both hemispheres of the brain— the rational and the creative-emotional. Or, if you feel yourself freeze, move your feet in some way.”

End Well. While first impressions are important, people will also remember the last thing you do or say. Wood suggests, “The last impression, the recencey effect is critical and can improve a bad first impression” As the conversation winds down, make sure your belongings are on the left side of your body so you can easily shake with your right hand. You may shake hands more than once — when you get up, at the door, and after talking for a bit longer while parting.” Even if the interview didn’t go as well as you might have liked, keep focused and poised until the end and you may be able to improve the impression you leave.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to Make Your Body Language Work for You During an Interview

Below is a recent interview with US News in which Patti shares her interview tips from her recent book, SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma.

How to make your body language work for you during an interview

By: Miriam Salpeter

You’ve been practicing what to say at an interview, but have you considered what signals your body language is sending? (The Merrabian research I think you wanted to quote here Is not actually valid. Perhaps better to say it has 4.3 times the impact than words alone) Research suggests ____ percent of communication isn’t transmitted via our words, but is broadcast through our actions and attitude.

Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, suggests the following tips from the book to help you wow your interviewer:

Palm-to-Palm Contact Is Key - Wood explains, “My research is the US and Canada suggests that palm contact is more important than how firm your grip is…If someone shakes hands with you and gives you just her fingers and not her full palm, at a subconscious level you may think, ‘What is she hiding? What is she keeping from me?” Evaluate the all-important handshake and worry less about if you have a firm enough grip and more about extending your entire hand and palm when you greet someone.

How to Sit - Don’t make yourself smaller in stature. Appear brave by keeping your body open. Wood notes, “Keep your arms open and away from your body, legs uncrossed, and shoulders   back.”  Take note of how you sit. Wood explains, Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of the seat, curved  forward, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. Perching the entire time makes you look less powerful. Vary your position, use lots of space, and occasionally place your arms on the armrest to look confident.” When you position yourself effectively, you’ll appear confident, vital, and energetic.

Show Your Hands - Showing your hands helps you appear open, honest and approachable, so Wood notes,Don’t hide your hands under the table or in your pockets or tuck them away. Keep your hands open and in view on the table or the arms of the chair.” She explains, “Gesture normally. Your hands show your emotional state. When you close your hand, the amount of tightness and the way the fingers curve show how you feel about the topic. In an interview, you want to be open, not closed.”
 
Match and Mirror - Research shows that people hire people who are like them. Use body language to help convince your interviewer that you are a good fit. Wood suggests youmatch and mirror your interviewer enough briefly at the very beginning of the interview to make him comfortable with you. For example, lean slightly in the direction he is leaning, for instance, or match his smile with one of your own.”

Get Grounded - When the going get tough, the tough get grounded. Wood explains,When people are nervous, they tend to either move a lot or freeze. To overcome the toughest interview questions, put both feet firmly on the ground. This makes it easier to use both hemispheres of the brain— the rational and the creative-emotional. Or, if you feel yourself freeze, move your feet in some way.”

End Well - While first impressions are important, people will also remember the last thing you do or say. Wood suggests, “The last impression, the recencey effect is critical and can improve a bad first impression” As the conversation winds down, make sure your belongings are on the left side of your body so you can easily shake with your right hand. You may shake hands more than once — when you get up, at the door, and after talking for a bit longer while parting.” Even if the interview didn’t go as well as you might have liked, keep focused and poised until the end and you may be able to improve the impression you leave.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Live Body Language Read of President Obama and Govenor Mitt Romney During the October 3rd Debate

Patti did a live, moment by moment body language read of both President Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney during the October 3rd Presidential Debate for Current.com.  Check the link below to see the article and see her notes below!

http://current.com/groups/news-blog/93919134_based-on-body-language-denver-debate-is-a-draw.htm

Romney is out of the gate at the debate with enormous energy.  His gestures are high and what I call in the victory range of the body that's above the heart. He was hopeful and very confident. I did not like how he handled the rules over talking, raising his voice, ignoring the rules and the way he kind of smirked.
 
Obama and his gestures are very decisive, close to his heart which says he truly feels what he is saying.  I would like his gestures to be higher and show more confidence. Also seeing here Romney getting that superior look, lifting his chin high that shows superiority. He gestures after he speaks.  This is the first time I've seen him gesture as he speaks or before.  He's highly energetic never seen him quite like this before.  He is having a good time. This is apparent from the liveliness and the energy in his voice.
 
Obama is very calm.  His voice level has regained that wonderful, deep resonance that I have missed hearing in his voice at the Democratic Convention.  It's interesting that Obama is using a pen to gesture to make his points.  You can tell he's getting really angry at Romney.  He's getting a very tight lip, downward smile.  Obama is giving a sour pursed lip facial expression that shows he finds Romney's rule breaking very distasteful.  Malley is doing a fake grin and he's looking totally away from Romney trying to get back the floor.

Romney is highly energetic. He is giving more gestures and more animation than I have ever seen. High energy at the start of the debates that gives a positive primacy effect (persuasion term for first impression.)
Obama's voice is back to its deep resonate quality at the beginning of the debate. But, as Governor Romney breaks the debate rules and discusses getting rid of Obama Care President Obama's voice becomes tighter, higher and more strained. He loses a bit of his credibility.

Obama’s gestures are small, restrained and close to his heart at the beginning of the debates.  I would like his gestures to be smoother and larger and sweep upwards so he would appear more confident.

As Obama talks about OBAMA Care his voice becomes more powerful again. The fuel for that energy is anger. That could work for him. A debater who shows controlled anger can communicate a powerful alpha presence to the television audience. Our limbic brain will follow the most powerful debater.

Now Romney is interrupting continuing to talk past his time. This is clear response to Obama sounding powerful. Romney has to win each round.  His "over-talking" will appeal to the emotional viewer and seem rude and overbearing to the logical viewer.

President Obama's nonverbal response to this is great.  He stays back and stands tall.  He does not lean in and try to compete. He stays presidential.

Oh now Obama is getting mad as Romney discusses loans.  He gives a sour, lemon mouth to Romney.

I am reading an overall excitement in Romney. He is energized by the fight.

Oh this is good. He is talking about how he spoke this way when he was running for office four years ago. That makes the viewer see Romney’s energy and optimism seem naive.

Now Obama is on a roll now he is ignoring the time limits rules.  I love the large true smile when he was called on it. That smile was great. I want to see him do that when he says something positive, some action he will take if re-elected.

Obama is talking about board for health care. When Obama Care is fully implemented finally his gestures move up. He truly feels like Obama Care will work.

Romney’s replacement for Obama care - I still am struck by his energy. He seems charged. Highly caffeinated, rapid rushed speaking.


Romney rubs his eye when Obama calls him on the fact that his health care statement is just restating the law as it is now. First time in the debates I see Romney is shaken.

Romney is blinking rapidly and also showing his stress level is high.

Interesting Romney can't stand being beaten.  He ignores the rules again and goes into his pat answer. Obama loses his win on that round.  We see the irritation in his look to the moderator and his tight downward smile and his shaking of his head no and he looks down

Romney's blinking rate is increasing.

Obama needs to be very careful he keeps looking down. I know it is to stay contained and not showing his anger. But, that downward head can appear like he his hanging his head in shame, showing a lack of power.

Romney’s energy comes up as he talks about teachers. He is racing again. Did he get a quadruple expresso at Starbucks? This may work against his credibility.  Ahhh it does bring it down when compared with Obama’s response. Obama has the wonderful power of the pause.

He speaks with confidence here.

Romney does a good job with his response.  He does pause when he says his numbers. Romney’s shoulders go forward and his chest poofs up.  He loves to go on the attack.

Romney at his close still has a lot of energy but I would've coached him to be a little bit slower and a little bit more purposeful. I would have advised him of the power of the pause.

Obama didn't look at the camera in the eye in the audience long enough in his close. His head came down. He looked defeated.

Romney overall was aggressive but nonverbally won the debate on charisma as I discuss in my new book "SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma.”

Did you see the big smile on Romney’s face as the debate ended? He felt he won. Interesting Romney was last to leave the podium and the stage. He knows how to look powerful.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

When is it Time to STOP Selling the Dress?

Patti is featured in the Jan/Feb issue of VOWS magazine which recently hit the stands. Check the link below for her insights on knowing when to STOP selling!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/84575364/Time-to-Stop-Selling

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language of Mrs. Cain - November 2011



This is my body language read of Mrs. Cain for US News and World Report.

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2011/11/15/gloria-cains-body-language-revealed

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1275490678001/mrs-cain-on-harassment-allegations-this-isnt-herman

Interviewer, “Let’s start with this.” Mrs. Cain says softly, “Ok!” but is giving a severe lip compression smile. I call this the zipped smile. Women use the zipped smile to cover their emotions, typically to cover anger. Our culture says we as women need to be nice, so we give a zipped smile to cover our anger. She nods her head up and down, but instead of meaning, “I agree” the small quick nods are saying, “Please hurry and get this interview over with.”

When she says, “I don’t know who that person is (eye block) pause misspeak “...and we’ve been married for 42 years.” She shuts her eyes longer than normal blinking in a window shade eye block. That indicates she is uncomfortable with the person (sexual harasser) that the media is projecting.

When she says a moment later “But, they don’t know Herman” her lip pucker quick downward dismissive head shake and stressed voice show her repressed anger at the critical media.

Look how she is sitting at the far end of the couch. The most honest portion of the body is from the waist down. Her lower body and feet are turned away fully from the interviewer. In this moment, though her upper body is angling slightly away from the interviewer in “retreat” and at times even leaning back away. Her arms are out in front and her hands are laying one over the other in her lap (called a blanket hand cross) to protectively cover her pelvis.

As to her husband warning her of the story coming out, she shakes her head. “It is just hearsay” and she gives a tongue drawbridge signifying her desire to get the bad taste of the news out of her mouth and off of her mind.

As Mrs. Cain continues and discusses the warning conversation with her husband and her faint memory (she looks up and struggles to come up with both the true memory of the event and the correct thing to say, true or planned response that may be a lie) of the first woman’s accusations and the Restaurant Association’s charges as being unfounded you see how her body is so turned away from the interviewer she has to twist her neck significantly to answer questions. My read here is she had an agreement in the marriage here that she wouldn’t ask and he wouldn’t tell.
When she responds to the second woman’s allegations, notice how she talks about Herman’s behavior in the PAST TENSE. “That wasn’t a part of Herman’s behavior.

She emphasizes his “Old School Behavior” - her gestures as she talks are in synch. She is telling the truth about his “old school behavior” with her and other women when she is with him.

When she says a moment later, “To hear such graphic allegations….that’s not the person he is.… (as she shakes her head no) he totally respects women.” You can “hear the tears” in her voice. Also look at the change in her hands. She now has a stretched out wrap over her leg protectively. She is feeling under stronger attack here.

Goodness I love the next part of the interview. When she says she was not going to be the wife up on the stage that he knew he would be there by himself. Her voice and nonverbal cues are absolutely in synch. She is being true and honest.

However when she says, “Seriously in my soul, I don’t feel like he’s that type of a person,” I see a pause in her head shaking, I hear awkward pausing and leaving out the IS in a slight grammatical error.This cluster of cues and even the wording she chooses sound less sure of herself. When someone is unsure they may leave out the strong words that make their message more definitive. We want her to say, I know he didn’t do these things but she keeps talking about the man she knew or knows not being that kind of person instead of speaking to his actual behavior.

As she is asked about her family’s reaction, Mrs. Cain kicks out her foot to show their anger, and sure enough says, “My daughter was angry…”

“NO I am not missing anything, I know Herman” she gulps showing she is keeping something in seems like she is gulping down her fear that she doesn’t know everything.

Again at the very end “SOME of the things that you are saying about him, that is not Herman.”


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.