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Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts

Trump's Body Language, Hugging and Hugs Denied and the Meaning of the Man Hug


When does a hug become performative, or a power play? (i.e. the Comey handshake) There is a man hug ( see excerpt from my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma below. That is a sign of affection. This is not a man hug. Trump patted him ever so briefly broke the handshake (the man hug extends it and the hand on the back or shoulder brings the person in close and it lingers) and whispered to him so Comey had to bend down to Trump. Trump broke the handshake with the pat making the he pat was an power play, a top down admonishment.

- Why would Trump go in for an unwanted hug even when the spotlight's not on him? Some huggers where raised to be huggers based on their culture and or their family. Some huggers are expression their personality by always hugging.  Some  people who are huggers don’t feel connected or that they have fully expressed themselves  until they hug. Their hug is part of their identity, and may even create for them a unique moment or marker in their interactions.  I study and teach body language and personality assessment. The extroverted huggers in my audiences over the years say, “I am a hugger!” “If someone doesn’t want to hug, I make them!” I think it may feel like a win to some huggers, while others feel like they are able to give their affection in hug and set the tone. Some report, she didn’t want that hug, but then she gave in!” It’s a very interesting mixture of power and warmth. Remember Trump refused to shake hands for years. Look at the old news stories on his anti handshake days. Back then he gained power by not shaking hands as a handshake is an agreement to start the interaction unarmed.

What's the meaning of a hug denied, from the rejected hugger's point of view? Thinking of the instance at NATO when Macron seems to deny Trump's open arms. This instance is interesting for several reasons. As you watch Macron is seen walking on the far left towards Trump, then he veers over to shake hands with her. Some have shared that it was women first etiquette, but he veered so far left it looks like purposeful game of “fake you out!”, meant to unsettle Trump the way he tried to unsettle Macron with that, “I am not letting go” handshake on Macron’s visit to the us.  It’s a snub and we see a mircrofacial cue of anger by Trump in response, his lips press together and his eyes narrow tightly and his check and chin muscles tighten


- In your opinion, do you think these hugs are purely about power, or might he genuinely crave physical connection.   It varies, from person to person and it can also serve both functions for some people. 

.” I first noticed the man hug being exchanged by the male athletes in my communication classes at Auburn University. The young men would see a fellow athlete in the hallway or on the campus green and want to give a hug of warmth and friendship, but they were out in public view. People were watching. So they would give a combination handshake-hug. In the handshake-hug, the men first stick out one hand for a handshake and then, with their right hands locked in the handshake (to keep the two participants from getting too close), each wraps his left arm around the other’s shoulder and hugs. The two men hug with only their upper bodies touching and their lower torsos held out and away. Finally, to insure that no one can misconstrue this partial hug as a sissy move, each takes the hand that he briefly held against the other’s back and pounds hard three or four times.
In fact, you could tell if the men were close buddies. They would strike each other harder, just to show how much they cared! Men showing affection through hitting says, “I love you, guy, but not that way.” Unlike the traditional hug, which symbolically and effectively brings people into the intimate zone of space, removes barriers, and unites the two persons embracing, this pounding hug brings only the upper torso into intimate proximity of less than 14 inches. The two extended right arms block any symbolic joining of the two bodies. The aggressive act of striking the back insures that each man knows the other is still a testosterone-rich, card-carrying member of the “man club.”
The man hug, or pound hug, is exclusively performed between two males. It also goes by other names, including pound shake, dude hug, shug, or the bro hug. It’s a greeting or parting ritual that demonstrates a certain level of intimacy typically reserved for close friends and family.
While the different names for the man hug have entered the lexicon, the meaning of the hug has expanded to cover other things as well. Men can now “hug it out” in other circumstances. First heard by the masses in an episode of Friends on TV, the phrase hug it out means that one person gives another (usually a male) a pound hug to help the man get through a difficult or sad situation. Instead of being a spontaneous show of affection, this hug is preceded by a request for permission before it is given. So the exchange sounds something like this:
Person 1: “Man, my girlfriend just dumped me.”
Person 2: “Do you wanna hug it out?”
In an episode of Entourage, two of the guys were in a screaming argument on an elevator. Once the doors opened and they were in public view, one guy turned to the other and said, “Wanna hug it out?” In this use, the pound hug, preceded by the phrase “Wanna hug it out” means: “Hey, we were arguing, but now that we are in public, let’s show we are friends for now. Then we can continue this later in private.” The phrase “Lets hug it out, @#$#,” means “Let’s be friends again” after an argument, or when one man feels he has insulted another.




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What's Behind Roger Goodell's Draft Day Hugs?

Patti was interviewed by ESPN to analyze the body language behind Roger Goodell's Draft Day hugs. Click the link below to read Patti's insights into the body language of Goodell's hugfest!

http://espn.go.com/blog/playbook/fandom/post/_/id/21119/a-brief-history-of-goodells-nfl-hugfest

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How Body Language Shaped the Debate





Patti was interviewed on CNN Saturday, October 5th explaining how body language shaped the debate.  Click the link below to see her comments!
 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Rob Pattinson and Kristen at OTR After Party


First Video, 

He faces her and takes the crook of his arm and locks it around Kristen’s head in an ownership gesture. It is playful and brief. This gesture is typically done when standing to the side of a women when in the presence of others as a show of ownership, "She is with me.” In this case he does it standing facing her so it is to prove to himself that she is his. His smile and head shaking and playful touches indicate he can’t believe she is his. Her posture in response is a slightly hunched over she doesn’t touch back nor does she linger. At first she does not “respond it kind” to his advances. She is more shy.   

Later when he makes that ummm sound as he hugs her she does a comfort cue, putting her hand to her mouth and leaving it there as he tries to get intimate indicating she is not comfortable with his caresses. But when she sees him finally back up she changes. I think that when he backed up she felt that absence of his advance and  she reaches up and puts her hand around his neck so he comes closer.

At the beginning even when she tilts her head up to talk to him she doesn’t hold her hands up or touch him as she does to pull him closer to her.  She rests her head ever so briefly.

If you watch the tape several times you can see the dance of the relationship is him cornering her and moving closer and her moving back.  His odd shaking side to side is in part his frustration that she is not moving towards her. Again he is playful but she is not fully playing back in kind.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to Avoid a Hug

This is an excerpt from Patti's new book "SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" coming out this Fall 




The Hug Dodge

                So, you’re not a hugger and this whole hugging thing makes you a bit uneasy. There are many motivations for dodging a hug and more than one method to do it. It was front-page news in the Irish press with Bono, of the rock group U2 admitted that he dodged a hug from then-President George W. Bush by jumping behind a podium on the stage as the affectionate Bush came near him. Bono said he didn’t feel like being the recipient of a hug from someone he disagreed with on so many things.



                I’m a hugger, so I don’t worry about people hugging me. But I know there have been times when someone didn’t want to hug with me. Not everyone is a hugger. When you hug, you expose the front of your body, opening all of your body windows. It can make some people feel vulnerable. Others feel that hugs are too personal and intimate and even too sexual for everyday interactions in business and with acquaintances. Thankfully, their body language cues will let you know very quickly whether they are huggers.



What if I don’t want a hug?

                Carol, a pharmaceutical sales rep in my sales presentation skills class asked, “What if I don’t want a hug? Some of the physicians I call on immediately give me a hug and I am just not into that.”  This is a frequent question for women in business. The good news, Carol and all, “I am not a hugger” gals and guys, there is a systematic technique to avoid the hug.

                 If you see the potential hugger with both hands and arms raised and chest thrust out in the “hug” position, do the following:

1.      Break eye contact

2.      Step forward on your right foot (This is your “handshaking foot” – the foot that normally moves first for a handshake)

3.      Present only the right side of your body, which effectively closes off your body windows

4.      Extend your right hand for a handshake. (You can choose to make eye contact again at this point)

5.      After touching, step back outside the intimate zone of space to signal you are done, and you don’t want to follow the handshake with a hug. This step also sends the signal that not only is the hug unwanted now, but also unwanted in the future.

If extending the arm and presenting the right side doesn’t stop the hugger, wrap your left arm around the person’s shoulder. This way it becomes a side-to-side hug rather than a frontal hug. You can also pat their back or shoulder to insure you indicate you don’t want a sexual interaction.

The hug dodge does two things:

1.      It signals in those important milliseconds that you are initiating a handshake interaction.

2.      It closes and protects the windows of your body

Macey, a drop-dead gorgeous client of mine came in for a coaching session after receiving the hug dodge training in our previous session. She said, “I feel so empowered. Yesterday I was at a meeting. My boss’s boss, who goes in for the really uncomfortable, feel you up kind of hug approached me with his arms out at the meeting last week. I was able to use the hug dodge to change it to a much more comfortable handshake. I realized at once how powerless and uncomfortable I typically feel when I have had to interact with him after one of his inappropriately sexual hugs.”  


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

The Gold Container

Some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy."

The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, "Don't you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They're all for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

Moral of the story: In a very real sense, each one of us, as human beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses... from our children, family members, friends. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.

Friends please do not take family members for granted. Love them, Acknowledge them, Hug them, and Kiss them. Don't be too busy Earning a Living that you forget to LIVE.
Story is from an unknown source. If you know it’s origin please let us know.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Albert Pujols' Hug with Jim Hendry: What Does It Mean?




I recently was interview by the Chicago Tribune on what was behind the hug that took place near home plate between Albert Pujols, baseball superstar, and Jim Hendry. general manager for the Cubs at the Cubs-Cardinals game at Wrigley Field. Check the link below to find out what the hug meant!




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

New Research Shows That Hugs Reduce Stress


Stress Study: Hugs warm the heart, and may protect it

By Marilyn Elias, USA TODAY


PHOENIX — Cuddling may be good medicine for the heart. Loving contact before a tough day at work "could carry over and protect you throughout the day." By Rick Rycroft, AP


A brief hug and 10 minutes of handholding with a romantic partner greatly reduce the harmful physical effects of stress, according to a study reported over the weekend at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting here. (Related item: Worry, inactivity impede sleep's health benefits)


While I was teaching body language and nonverbal communication at Florida State University, students coming up to me before and after class or running into me on campus would inevitably open their arms to receive a big hug. In fact, though I didn’t have my PHD my students called me Dr. Hugs. Year after year, the student’s favorite lectures were the two touch lectures where I shared the research on the benefits of touch. But now that I think of it, professional people who attended my speeches and training would recognize me in a restaurant or the grocery store checkout line and also typically meet me with a warm and friendly hug.


A hug fully breaks the intimate zone boundaries of the body while other greetings, from the handshake to the bow to the upheld palms high-five are designed to keep people apart outside the intimate zero to fourteen-inch zone. A hug is a greeting of friend-to-friend.


The Origin of the Hug You may think of the hug as only a touchy-feely greeting. It may surprise you to learn that the hug actually originated in Egypt as a way for men meeting strangers to check for swords hidden under their long robes. It continues in modern day as a “Let me pat you down” weapons check in many Arab greetings.


It is only in the last century that the full frontal hug has morphed into the embrace showing warmth and affection. This full face-to-face hug shows others that we trust them and are willing to give them ready and full access to our vulnerable heart.


While people are avoiding handshakes, hugging seems to be increasing in popularity. Some researchers say the increase came after the tragedy of 9/11 as the need for comfort and bonding increased. Others say the change to casual dress in corporate America has brought a desire for a more casual greeting ritual. My high school and college audiences shared with me that hugging makes them feel accepted and loved by their friends in a way they don’t feel with their parents. My principal and schoolteacher audiences shared they believe the increase is due to the two-parent working families. Kids hug each other so they can get the healthy touch they are missing out on at home. Perhaps it is that there is not a real increase in hugs, but a decrease in hugs in the general population that make us NOTICE hugs more.


I remember fondly the warm, full heart-to-heart hugs shared with my fellow church group members when I was in high school. Even then, we wanted and were open to more love.


As the handshake seems to be lessening as the greeting ritual in corporate offices in the US, hugging seems to be increasing in use in social situations. At the end of 2009, Michelle Obama gave Queen Elizabeth a hug at Buckingham Palace. This lack of formality broke royal protocol. The Guardian (UK) newspaper, reporting on the incident, noted that “…. (There have been) only four other people who haven’t gone to the tower for ... (this breach) of protocol.” Queen Elizabeth was a bit surprised and it was a bit awkward. At first, she showed delayed acceptance of this change by also breaking protocol and reaching her arm around Mrs. Obama’s back to return the favor.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

What Does His Hug Reveal, The Meaning of Hugs

Secrets His Hug Reveals The way your guy holds you close is tightly tied to his feelings for you. Use our tips to unlock the meaning behind his embrace. By Molly Triffin
Emmet Malmström


The Sneak Attack
He comes up behind you and puts his arms around your chest.

Even if he hasn't said the words yet, a guy who grabs you like this is in love. He's blanketing your body with his, your feet are intertwined, you're leaning into him.… There's a real sense of oneness here. "By covering your back, he's conveying that he wants to shelter you," says body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals. "He's also flexing his masculinity — this displays his strength and dominance."

The one exception is if your man almost always hugs you from the back. "That might mean he craves a closer connection but thinks you're unavailable," says Christopher Blazina, PhD, author of The Secret Lives of Men. "He avoids hugging face-to-face because he's worried you're not into him."

The Rub
He gently strokes your back while holding you.

This affectionate gesture signifies that your guy cares deeply about you. "The back is a very vulnerable part of the body," Wood says. "You can't see your back, so being touched there can be startling." Softly rubbing you on such an exposed zone shows that he wants to nurture and protect you. But don't be surprised if his tender caresses soon turn into heavy petting. "Because rubbing has a sexual rhythm, this type of touch can turn him on," Blazina notes.

It's also possible that your man is upset and needs comforting (even if he doesn't verbally fess up to feeling sad). "Having one's back caressed is a soothing touch that people often instinctively crave when they're down," says Janine Driver, president of the Body Language Institute. "A man might rub your back because, unconsciously, that's what he's desiring." If you think he seems a bit off, give him plenty of TLC and ask him if everything's okay.

The Pat
He thumps your upper back during an embrace.

Okay, this hug is loaded. Let's start with the worst-case scenario: He's not into you. "This is how men hug their buddies; it's not romantic at all," Blazina says. "When a guy frequently embraces you like this, it means the relationship's not growing." For example, say your man or crush gives you this half-assed hug when you're out at a bar. He might be doing it to show other people that he is not fully committed to you and is still on the market. Should he dole out The Pat when you're alone, he is probably not feeling a spark anymore or is mad at you.

Wait — don't freak out yet! According to Blazina, if The Pat only happens once in a while, rather than on a regular basis, it's not a red flag. And there are a few other reasons behind it: (1) If he thumps you when you're about to do something scary, such as give a wedding speech, that's a gesture of encouragement (like the way coaches pat players on the back). (2) If you're in public, it could simply mean he isn't into PDA and wants to keep things casual. (3) If your man is preoccupied — on his iPhone, watching TV — don't take it personally. His mind is temporarily elsewhere.

The Waist Wrap
He encircles your lower back with his hands and pulls you tightly toward him.

Hubba hubba! The dude wants you. "A pelvis-to-pelvis embrace shows he'd like to merge with you sexually," Wood says. The farther down your body his hands travel, the more fired up he is.

There's one last thing to take note of: Does he touch his head to yours? "Then he wants to merge his thoughts with yours as well," Wood adds. Translation: If it's a new relationship, you're more than a fling to him. If you've been together for a while, he's ready to get more emotionally and mentally intimate… after you hit the sack, that is.


http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/what-his-hug-body-language-reveals


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

The Way You Pucker Up Reveals A Lot About Your Relationship


From a perfunctory peck to a passionate embrace, the way you and your man pucker up reveals a lot about your relationship. And it's not just the lip action that counts - how you hold onto your honey also tells a secret or two about your bond, says Atlanta -based body language expert, Patti Wood. She has analyzed a few star smooches for First For Women to figure out the true feelings behind their camera kisses. To get a reading on your relationship, grab a photo of you and your man locking lips and match it to one of the kissing couples. Next, go to the link to find out what Patti reveals about the smooch!
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Of Winners & Losers


"Not the typical behavior of a winner" says Patti Wood, body language expert, when she did a photo read for Us Weekly of American Idol winners and losers. Ruben 's body language says he's happy to share the lime light with Clay but notice Clay's stiff body. Kelly is also displaying some "unusual
behavior for a winner"
as she pulls Justin close.....and what's with Justin's smile?
Patti shares her insights at the link!


http://www.scribd.com/doc/37892561/Us-Weekly-Winners-Losers

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

What They're Not Saying


Patti Wood, body language expert, looks behind the smiles and embrace of Al and Star for InTouch Weekly to discover what they are really saying.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/34851934/InTouch-StarAl

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Should You Hug Your Dog? Reading Dog and Human Body Language. Do Dogs Like it When You Hug Them?



Dog and Human Body Language. Do Dogs Like it When You Hug Them?

If you can view this sideways photo, you will find me on the floor with m dog Bo. It was taken of us several years ago when Bo was one of two. This photo really shows how much I love my dog. I love him so much I have my one arm wrapped around his neck and may I am holding his hindquarters with my other hand and arm. I also have my head tilted towards him in love and my heart is pressed up against him. Bo is cradling up against me. However, I notice his tail is down. He is big frightened of the photographer and the flashes from the camera. His body is toward me and his head is relaxed into me so it is clear he is seeking comfort from me and is not trying to get away. However, reading my dog's body language, I bet the combination of a too human like hug that to a dog feels too confining and the big ole camera and crowd in my kitchen is not helping. Dogs don't typically like to be hugged. I know, if you have a wonderful dog like my dog Bo you really want to hug on him. Don’t take it personally, if your dog tries to escape your loving embrace. Most dogs don’t like the restriction as it keeps them from “fleeing” mode that is a dogs normal response to stress. Think about it in human terms. You wouldn’t like it if someone came a held your feet when you were stressed, would you? I am a big hugger and I am so blessed that over the years Bo has not only adapted to my hugs but seeks them. Most dogs don’t mind a pat or a very brief full hug but you need to know your dog and watch them closely to understand if they are hug tolerant. Dogs can fear or love hugs.

I enjoy watching TV shows that play videos of kids and babies and dogs. It is cute when dogs allow babies and kids to hug them. However, there is that part of me that wants to teach everyone you don't hug dogs you don’t know. Hugs are not the accepted greeting ritual. Instead, approach strange dogs by putting out your hand so they can sniff it. If the dog feels safe and friendly he will let you know by staying in place to say, “Your OK!” but not freezing in place in fear which says in dog body language, “I am too scared to move.” In another show of the acceptance may be presenting the side of his body to say, “I won’t be aggressive by coming at you head on I will give you my side so you can pet me now.”



As the national spokesperson for Pup-Peroni, I am studying the similarities and differences between human body language and dog behavior.






Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
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Not Everyone is a Hugger

Here is a link to a story I was interviewed for on hugging,
http://www.herald-mail.com/?module=displaystory&story_id=141485&format=html

Not Everyone's a Hugger
By: Julie E. Greene
June 30, 2006
julieg@herald-mail.com

Candace Culbreath, 17, of Mont Alto, Pa., saw an older friend she hadn't seen for years at the Mummers' Parade last year and got an unexpected, uncomfortable hug.
"The hug was kind of extended and he was a little too close," Candace recalled.
So she pushed him away a little - drawing a funny look from him, but message received.
Sometimes hugging just isn't appropriate, but huggers might not be aware or just might not care. On Wednesday Candace averted an oncoming, unwanted hug from a friend's boyfriend by sticking her hand out for a handshake as he approached. That's exactly what she should have done to avoid an unwanted or creepy hug, experts said. "Put the arm out first to establish the greeting and that will eliminate a lot of the unwanted hugging and kissing. Not all of it, but some of it," said Barbara Pachter, an author and expert on business and international etiquette.

If an extended arm doesn't stop the oncoming hug, turn to present the side of your body and wrap an arm around the person's shoulder so it's a side-to-side hug rather than a frontal hug, said Patti Wood, a body-language expert and author of "Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language." About 3 percent of the American population finds touch repugnant, Wood said. Whether a hug is appropriate often depends on a person's perception of what's good and bad, she said. People have become more aware of sexual harassment since the 1980s, Wood said. Now, people often find a hug or kiss uncomfortable because they perceive some sexual intent. A guy might press his chest against a woman's breasts too closely, or put his pelvis up against a woman's body, or the hug might linger too long, she said. Wood said men rarely see a woman hugging a man as uncomfortable and if they do, it's because he doesn't know her that well.

However, Pachter said even some men don't want to be hugged. Wood said it tends to be female salespeople who have the biggest problem with inappropriate hugs - from clients. In sales, sometimes people like to hug and kiss because it shows you have a special relationship, Pachter said. "But - and it's a huge but - you need to understand that it sends messages and people might not like the message," she said. For instance, a saleswoman who goes to hug and kiss a long-standing client in front of the client's new co-worker might be giving the new co-worker the wrong idea, Pachter said. He might now think it's OK for him to hug and kiss her.

Pachter knows of one instance in which a saleswoman who regularly hugged and kissed a certain client, saw the client out at dinner one night and gave him a big hug and kiss - in front of his wife.
That was not OK, Pachter said. "You need to know where you are when you're doing these things," she said. Awkward kisses can be more difficult to combat than hugs because sometimes it's cultural and a person could lose out on business, Wood said. For instance, the French like to do the "triple kiss." Yolonda Pikemuccini, of Waynesboro, Pa., said how she reacts to an unwanted hug depends on the setting.

Overseas, a hug could be a cultural gesture so she'd be less uncomfortable with that. If someone she'd just met or didn't know well - in the states - tried to hug her, Pikemuccini said she'd hold her purse and make sure everything stayed in her wallet. Staci Gigeous, 25, of Hagerstown, said sometimes she's allowed the hug but then stepped back nonchalantly afterward so there's more personal space between them to send a message for the future. Or, in some instances, she'll say something to the person so there isn't another occurrence.

The moves people make to avoid hugs are the same ones that people who want to hug others should keep an eye out for so they don't share an unwanted embrace, Wood said. This includes eye contact dropping down.

"If you're a hugger, be conscious of those," she said.