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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Body Language Experts Analyze Queen Elizabeth And Prince Philip's Relationship Through the Years

The way Prince Philip looks at his wife hasn't changed in 70 years.


      
After 70 years of marriage, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip know a thing or two about love. The couple has seen it all: alleged affairs, the tragic death of their daughter-in-law, and even the birth of their great-grandchildren. Through everything, the couple has had the unwavering love and support of one another — and we've all been fortunate to witness this tremendous love story in action.
While the royal couple keeps their PDA behind closed doors, there have been a few instances over the decades that confirm true love is alive and well — and their body language is proof.
       
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip in October 1972.

"When you look beyond the royal formality of Prince Phillip and Queen Elizabeth's public appearances, you clearly see Prince Phillip's love and adoration for his Queen," Blanca Cobb, body language expert and author of Methods of the Masters, told GoodHousekeeping.com. He does whatever it takes to be closer to his wife — and in this particular case, he even moves his cane aside to reduce the space between them.
Most of the time, the Queen is rather guarded, trying to prove her independence. "Queen Elizabeth is always trying to be seen as her own person," Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma told GoodHousekeeping.com. She leans on her husband out of necessity, rather than affection. This doesn't imply that she is never affectionate with her husband, she simply waits until the world isn't watching.
          
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip visiting Tuvala in 1982.

When Prince Philip leans toward his wife, that indicates that he is completely focused on her. Even when they're spectators at a formal ceremony, his eyes are on the Queen. To complement his lean, the Prince isn't afraid to showcase pure joy with a crack of a genuine smile.
          
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip visiting Parliament in 1993
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It's expected for the royal couple to be more rigid than the younger generations — she's the Queen, after all! Despite the formality of the occasion, Prince Philip and the Queen still have a ritual of their secret touch — a hand hold. "This type of hand hold is seen time and time again," says Wood. "It's more formal than interlocking fingers but it's unique to them. It's their way of reassurance and comfort."
          
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip visiting Parliament in 2000.

As they age, the Queen is becoming more dependent on Prince Philip. "In her older years, the Queen holds hands with the Prince for assistance as opposed to affection," explains Woods. In these moments, the Prince is armed and ready. "He's constantly looking at the Queen to make sure that she's okay. He's completely in tune with her needs," says Cobb.
          
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip in March 2015.

It's clear that these two lovebirds are wildly in love, even after a lifetime together. See, there's still hope for the rest of us!


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince William & Kate Middleton's Body Language Reveals Their Love Is So Passionate In Private


The world's obsession with British royalty never made sense to me for the longest time. As far as I was concerned, they were just rich folks who lived across the pond and wore fancy hats. But then, I watched The Crown and everything changed. Yep, I caught royals fever bad. Now, I totally get the desire for a peek behind the Buckingham curtain, especially at the dynamics of the couples currently residing there. While Prince Harry and Megan Markle are pretty openly affectionate, Prince William and Kate Middleton's body language is a bit trickier to read. That's because their role demands they be more professional and less overtly affectionate in public. To break down their dynamic, I enlisted the help of Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to help decode the subtle clues about William and Kate's relationship that the two are giving off without even realizing it.  

You may think that the couple’s tradition of not showing any PDA might hinder Wood's read on the duo, but in fact, it actually helps to illuminate the degree of connection between them: "Whenever I’m doing a read, I want the baseline to know what’s normal and that actually informs my read," says Wood. "I look at their norm, and typically, they are not touching each other. They’re not standing super close, so we're already looking at anomalies that are different from their baseline, so that makes what they're doing even more significant."

So what do these anomalies tell us about William and Kate? Here's what Wood sees.

1. They Are Affectionate In Private And Laugh Together Often
To decipher the above image, Wood starts at the bottom and works her way up, beginning with the Kate’s hand. “One of the things that’s significant there is … that her fingers and the way that she is holding her hands is actually holding a lot of tension. If you look at the veins and the way the fingers are curled, it’s very awkward and tension-filled instead of having the hands relaxed out,” says Wood. “What I believe that indicates is that she would normally reach for him and she’s stopping herself. And there is a lot of tension in her hand to stop that reach and touch.”

Further evidence of the couple’s closeness here is what Wood calls “overlap,” which is they way that William's arm is just slightly over Kate's, creating a slight overlap in their bodies. “The reason that’s significant is … overlap is a way to show that couples are unified — that they want to be seen as one, [and] that they are connected,” she says.

However, Wood’s favorite bit of evidence of their connection is actually in the couple’s faces, specifically how in sync their expressions are. “If you look at their smiles, all the way up from their chin to their foreheads, they are a match and mirror for each other. So if you look at their faces, even if you overlapped them, you will see their chin is in the same position, the teeth are in the same position, the lips are in the same position, the folds around the nose to the chin — they’re in the same position,” says Wood. “That level of matching and mirroring in a couple — especially with joyful moments — shows that they laugh together often and that they care for and love each other.

2. They Have A Passionate Love Connection
This second image offers hints about the couple’s romantic connection. According to Wood, if you want to know how people feel, just look to the angle of their hips. ”If you look at him on the left, see how his body — the lower torso body and then the belly — [is] slightly angled toward her, and her pelvis is slightly angled toward him … that’s called the 'love V,'" says Wood. “It shows a love connection and that’s really, really nice.”

Further up the body, you can see that love connection is reinforced by the way their arms are touching. “They’re having a little moment together. And they want to share that moment together," says Wood. "And if you look at her body straight on up, it’s slightly in toward him, to lean in and give him a little bit of her weight to make that moment happen. It shows they are [sharing] an intimate moment together. It shows they are connected.”

3. They’re A Solid Team
In this last image, Wood sees a couple who form a united team. Despite being separated by seats, they both make efforts to close the gap between them and create a sense of intimacy. “I do like how his leg is crossed toward her, rather than away from her, that includes in and blocks other people out — especially how high the knee is up and over," says Wood. “His hand out over the leg like that — that’s another block to the outside world ... And we can’t see her touch on his arm, but we can see that he’s going in toward it, and the touch is making him happy.” Basically, what all of this says to Wood is, “Let us have our little moment. I’m with her and I’m excluding you out.”

So what’s Wood’s overall assessment of this couple’s dynamic? Well, it appears to be a real love story: “It’s clear that they have a very healthy connection with one another — that publicly they laugh and share intimate moments — and it’s an indication that they do that quite often," she says. "The matching and mirroring specifically shows that they do it quite often because, over time, if you love your partner, you match and mirror.”

Here's to hoping Meghan and Harry build the same strong love connection as Will and Kate clearly have.



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Body Language in Engagement Interview



I was asked by The Independent to share my insights on the body language of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle during their engagement interview.  Below are my insights and at the end is a link to the actual article.

Harry and Meghan are openly warm, and affectionate and close with one another.  It is very sweet how they hold hands through the interview. He shows his deep affection and desire to be close to her by reaching out his hand in the handhold and lifting her hand up to support her and resting it on her leg. We see he is willing to give love to her, he doesn’t need to show more dominance by pulling her hand onto his leg.  She is confident in his love and doesn’t need to reach over submissively to his.  The actual hand hold is loose and open, allowing each of them some freedom and showing how relaxed they are being connected to one another.

Note the turn taking and length of turn times in the couple. Meghan quickly answers most of the questions from the interviewer, before Harry, and takes significantly longer turns. This reflects her comfort in media interviews and shows she is lead taker in this kind of situation. But, the way she does it shows she loves him. Notice the low volume, softness timbre and warmth of her voice. Those paralanguage qualities show she is both smitten and softened in his presence from her louder, stronger baseline in media interviews about her before this relationship. Very sweet. She also shows her love and connection by turning to him to check in on her answers from the first question, where she checks in on what they were cooking the night of the proposal, “What were we cooking? … roasted chicken.” And they both laugh.

As they talk about the proposal, I just love the lift and softness and femininity of her voice with rounded softly vocalized T’s, C’s and D’s rather than clipped consonants and a lifting up of the voice at the end of her sentences as if she is asking a question. (Even on responses where she is not checking in with him, that is what submissive females do.)  Significantly, throughout the interview, she keeps turning her full head towards him to gaze at him. She makes a point to state he got down on one knee, and shares that more to the journalist than to him, in a way that indicated the prince got down on one knee to her. She has power that she knows Harry recognizes. She didn’t deliver that information in a purely gushy romantic way. But she IS smitten. She loves to look at him! Harry is wonderfully animated with his free hand gesturing and smiling as they talk about the ring.

As he finished the proposal story, notice how his head tilts toward her to show his desire to connect and be seen as a couple answering the question not just have it be his story. The very next question she jumps in and answers, but again turns to check in with him. I just love how they each have power and how they each check in with each other in a very nice dance. If they keep doing this, two such confident people, they will make a very good couple. I can see them finishing each other’s sentences in an interview 40 year from now if they keep this up.

Note how she got very strong as Harry describes how they first met and as he talks about their mutual friend.  She turns to him and speaks loudly and strongly over his turn, ‘’We... need to protect her privacy.” And how he softly demure and repeats, “protect her privacy.” She is comfortable being strong with him and setting boundaries about what they will share publicly, and he nonverbally acquiesced without looking his significant as he continues smoothly with the story and gestures strongly with a movement across both their bodies.

As she talks about the blind date, she also gestures with her free hand as well. Nice balance for both. I loved how he is talking about wanting a big background on her, see her head dip down in humble embarrassment then as he says she walked and there she was, at time code 3:50 see how they both turn their heads and go into a long mutual gaze they recall the moment they met together. They relive it right in front of us. Lovely.  Next, he huffs, in a take a breath and, “I am really going to have to up my game.” And she keeps looking on and smiling and laughing. 

Link to Article:


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Three Things You Can Do To Make You Happier

Three Things You Can Do To Make You Happier

1. Write Morning Papers - A morning ritual that I teach my clients is to clear your mind of clutter. When you first wake up in the morning, take ideally fifteen minutes to write down anything that is muddying up your head. Write three pages in an easy no pressure stream of consciousness. Write down any thoughts or feelings that are clogging your brain. This is not refined perfect creative writing. Its musings, lists, to dos, dreams, worries, and sometime just junk. Dump thoughts out on the page the way you dump out the trash. Now your mind is clear and you can accomplish much more in your day. There may be times when you are too busy, but I know that when I am stressed or need to be especially creative I go back to morning pages. I have written three books while doing morning pages.  Screen Writer and Entrepreneur Julia Cameron calls the pages, morning pages and describes the benefits in her book, “The Artists Way.” I am a professional speaker, body language expert, executive life coach and author. I speak around the country to groups of small businesses owners.

2. Breathe Deeply - Breathing deeply can make you feel happier. When you get upset or nervous or just plain stressed out notice your breathing. Right now look at your watch, your cell phone or clock and begin to count the number of times you breathe in and out in one minute. You may notice that even at rest your nervous breathing is faster than the "average" rate of 12 to 14 times a minute (a rate which is already faster than it needs to be). In fact, many of us, without knowing it, habitually "hyperventilate"- that is, we take quick, shallow breaths from the top of our chest. This kind of breathing sharply reduces the level of carbon dioxide in our blood.
This reduced level of carbon dioxide causes the arteries, including the carotid artery going to the brain, to constrict, thus reducing the flow of blood throughout the body. When this occurs, no matter how much oxygen you may breathe into your lungs, your brain and body will experience a shortage of oxygen. The lack of oxygen switches on the sympathetic nervous system - our "freeze, fight or flight reflex." That reflex enabled our ancestors to freeze so they wouldn't be seen or flee from a saber tooth tiger but now it is just making you tense, anxious, and irritable. When you take quick shallow breaths you reduce your ability to think clearly. During an important meeting, date or job interview it may keep you from answering questions quickly and succinctly, and you can be at the mercy of obsessive thoughts and images. You may start thinking, “Oh my gosh, I am going to mess up." "Oh my gosh, I am a failure." "I bet he thinks I am stupid."
We may even stop breathing as we get to the end of each obsessive thought. Some researchers believe that hyperventilation can actually magnify our psychological problems and conflicts, and that chronic hyperventilation is intimately bound up with our anxieties, apprehensions, and fears. One key to feeling youthful is being clear headed, energized and confident. So breathe deeply, from low down in your belly. You can practice breathing more slowly using your diaphragm, belly, rib cage, and lower back in the breathing process. I have been reading and practicing tantric breathing to be more awake to how I breathe and really get inside my body and increase my power. It is amazing how strong and powerful I feel when I take deep belly breaths making a lot of noise as the air fills me up and let out that breath fully and completely in deep releasing sighs. Of course you’re not going to be doing deep, tantric breathing in a job interview, but it could help calm you and clear your energy the night before or in the car before you go into an important meeting. Try it right now. Take four deep belly breaths in on a count of four holding for a count of two and making lots of noise as you sigh deeply out all your breath. Now say. I feel wonderful.

3. Give safe nonthreatening touch to others, so you can receive the benefits of touch by giving to others.

“How about a hug?” - Ask for hugs and give them freely. There are many forms of affection — cuddling, a pat on the shoulder, etc. Find out what kind of affectionate touch the people in your life want and give it to them. At Florida State, though I did not have a doctorate, I was called Dr. Hugs by my students. My nonverbal communication class had more than100 students, so everywhere I went I got a hug. I loved it.

“Thank you” - Touch can be a reward. A gentle touch on the forearm or hand at work or a hug or kiss at home can let people know you appreciate them. Think of all the little things people do for you and reward them with a touch. I was “the napkin girl” when I was very small and after I went around the table folding and putting the napkins at each place setting, I got a hug. As I grew older and set the full table, I still got a verbal thank you, but the hug was absent. Continue touching to say thank you. Heidi Feldman, chief of the Division of General Academic Pediatrics at Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh says, “A child is much more likely to try to please a parent who acknowledges his contribution and thoughtful, helping behavior.”

“Tell me more” - I did research in grad school on touching to increase self-disclosure. Sure enough, when you touch someone even briefly in a non-threatening, non-sexual way, they will self-disclose more. This was helpful for me to know and take action as a therapist, but just think how powerful it is to use in your personal relationships. We tend to skate on the surface of our relationships instead on becoming emotionally intimate. Create the intimacy of pillow talk without sex by giving healthy touch to encourage people to share more. There are places and times where “Tell me more” touch works very easily. While cooking or eating dinner with loved ones, you can purposefully touch as you hand each other food, plates and utensils, When riding in a car or golf cart, you are close enough to touch in a non-threatening manner, even if it is something as innocent as passing a drink or handkerchief. In sales or other meeting settings, you can touch when passing out handouts, brochures or samples.

“Let me comfort you” - Sometimes we move away from loved ones who are highly emotional, crying or upset when moving in closer and touching can help them feel better.
There is an exception to this. Therapists are sometimes encouraged not to touch too soon so their patients can stay upset long enough to share all their pain. When my best friend Roy was dying, one of the worst things to deal with was the lack of comforting touch I could get from others. I moved to Atlanta away from my other friends and family and the one person who normally hugged me and gave me the most comfort was Roy. And he needed me to be strong for him. If you know someone who is going through grief and loss give them comforting touch. So often, we get caught up in taboos and avoid the natural inclination to touch. People will step back or arch away if they are uncomfortable with the prospect of your touch, so take the step to try it, knowing you can move out of it if you need to.

“You can do it” - Use touch as a motivator. Touch as you give a work assignment, as you put your child on their first two-wheeler and as you send your sweetie off to his or her first marathon. Touch makes us feel empowered and is a great encourager. Increased self-esteem received through touch can help others follow through a challenging task. I spent a lot of my teenage years working on plays. I remember clearly how we would all hug each other before each play started and would give little back rubs to actors about to go on stage for a difficult part of their performance. The touch fed us and made us strong. Think of all the touch given in a sporting event. It’s not surprising the encouraging touch given to athletes is similar across cultures. We know that a pat on the back moves a person forward.

“Please” - Use touch to ask for help as well. It won’t surprise you to know that pairing touch with a request makes it much more likely the person will do what you ask. Just a brief touch on the forearm, lasting less than a fortieth of a second, can increase your persuasive powers.


“I love you” - It should be very clear to you now we need physical contact to feel acceptance and belonging. We all want to be loved.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Does Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Body Language Say?

What Does Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Body Language Say?
An Expert Weighs In on Their First Appearance Together



Yesterday, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made their first joint appearance together. Yes, an event so groundbreaking, so invigorating, so miraculous that it must be put it in italics! (No, we aren’t obsessing over two strangers just to briefly distract ourselves from imminent nuclear obliteration or superstorm destruction or some freaky combination of both. Why do you ask?)
At the same time, it was almost too much of a good thing. Mere days ago there were only a few of photos of them together—and those were all grainy, out of focus, or taken from a distance. Now there are pages on pages of high-quality ones, and gasp, they capture so many different emotions! There’s laughing. There’s pondering. There’s gazing at each other and off into the distance. There’s hand holding. There’s hand-folding. There’s whispering. And while it was easy to dissect the small amount of pictures before, now it’s nearly impossible for even the most dedicated of Meghan-Harry over-analyzers.

It’s a job for an expert: a body language expert, that is.
Vogue asked Patti Wood, the “Babe Ruth of body-language experts”, to decode Harry and Meghan’s facial expressions, positioning, posture, and hand-holding from their big debut. Are they in love? Or is the pressure of the public eye taking its toll? Wood weighs in, below.


Photo: Getty Images
“This is a connection moment—we are going to laugh together in the same moment. We are having this experience of joy and fun together. It’s a purely happy moment. Big, big grin, showing upper teeth, which men typically only do when they are super happy and joyful and laughing. It’s really great.”


Photo: Getty Images
“It’s a pre-touch. We see that smile again—she’s just gleeful with that smile! He’s smiling too. Even if they aren’t looking in the same direction, it’s a cool moment. See how his legs are spread out? He does that all the time when he’s confident and relaxed. He goes into the ‘alpha male’—legs spread out. That’s just guy behavior. It means he’s really relaxed, open, connected with the experience.”


Photo: Getty Images
“There’s a lot of shared intimacy there. He kind of kisses her head, she’s smiling, his left hand holding her, and then they are holding hands with the other hands. I just love double touches! This is a spontaneous double touch hold! It’s really, really good—with royalty, there’s not a lot of double touching. Maybe you’ll see it on a red carpet, but you won't necessarily see it spontaneously. It’s a great sign. He’s not pulling her, he’s just holding her. This is very, very nice and relaxed.”


Photo: Getty Images
“He’s on the bottom, holding her hand up. He wants to be connected, but he wants to take care of her. I love that! He is leading her—but I don’t like when men lead and hold downward. That’s like a child—you have your hands on top and you are pulling them. In this case you are cupping and holding, and that is much more care-taking.”


Photo: Getty Images
“I love it. She’s comfortable leaning forward. It’s a comfortable moment.”
Wood’s final prognosis: Meghan and Harry are in love—and, incredibly, incredibly happy together. “They are used to sharing intimate conversations and intimate moments. They are having fun together, and a lot of the little touches and facial expressions—this is not the first time. This is something that they do together. They have fun times together.”



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Life Lesson Quote for April 6, 2012

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Life Lesson Quote for March 23, 2012

All that truly matters in the end is that you loved

Look forward to fun one line life lessons on my twitters and blogs. The first ones are from Regina Brett's Life Lessons article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How do you know if he loves you? Using body language to detect lying

How can reading body language and paralanguage alert you to whether or not he really loves you when he says he does? Remember that in nonverbal communication and deception detection, the timing is the “tell”. What does his body language look like just before he says, “I love you”? People feel and show what they are feeling before and as they are saying what they are feeling. The order of a honest person's message is feel, show, say. The primitive brain feels first without the words--just the pure emotion of love. Then the primitive brain, where emotions and body language are processed, shows with nonverbal cues that there is love present. Then the cognitive brain thinks of the words that say I love you. So just before he says I love you and/or as he says it, look for the cues. Is he making eye contact? Is his heart facing towards you? Does his face change with upward expressions before or as he says the words? Are his toes pointed towards your heart or towards the door? Listen to his voice. Does his tone and intonation reveal warmth and caring as he says the words. If all the nonverbal signs of love come before or during you are in luck. The man loves you. Or is the timing off? For example, he has a tight face with downward pulled muscles and clipped voice and he says "I love you," and then he smiles. If so, it is possible he might not be into you. Remember to look for the timing and duration of emotional gestures to be synchronous. If they are off the normal pace, delayed, stay longer than they would naturally, or stop suddenly, the man may be lying. OK guys, I know you may be reading this wondering, "Why did Patti make the guy the liar?" Simply because more women send me photos standing with their sweeties and ask me, “Is he in to me?” than men. A woman could give the same cues.