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Showing posts with label voice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label voice. Show all posts

How Ivanka Has Changed The Way She Speaks Over The Years — & What It Means

In her 2007 appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Ivanka sounded more relaxed and at ease with being interviewed. "Her voice had a rough smokiness to it here," Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told Refinery29. "And her presentation made it clear that she was expecting a humorous response." … Continue


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Body Language in Engagement Interview



I was asked by The Independent to share my insights on the body language of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle during their engagement interview.  Below are my insights and at the end is a link to the actual article.

Harry and Meghan are openly warm, and affectionate and close with one another.  It is very sweet how they hold hands through the interview. He shows his deep affection and desire to be close to her by reaching out his hand in the handhold and lifting her hand up to support her and resting it on her leg. We see he is willing to give love to her, he doesn’t need to show more dominance by pulling her hand onto his leg.  She is confident in his love and doesn’t need to reach over submissively to his.  The actual hand hold is loose and open, allowing each of them some freedom and showing how relaxed they are being connected to one another.

Note the turn taking and length of turn times in the couple. Meghan quickly answers most of the questions from the interviewer, before Harry, and takes significantly longer turns. This reflects her comfort in media interviews and shows she is lead taker in this kind of situation. But, the way she does it shows she loves him. Notice the low volume, softness timbre and warmth of her voice. Those paralanguage qualities show she is both smitten and softened in his presence from her louder, stronger baseline in media interviews about her before this relationship. Very sweet. She also shows her love and connection by turning to him to check in on her answers from the first question, where she checks in on what they were cooking the night of the proposal, “What were we cooking? … roasted chicken.” And they both laugh.

As they talk about the proposal, I just love the lift and softness and femininity of her voice with rounded softly vocalized T’s, C’s and D’s rather than clipped consonants and a lifting up of the voice at the end of her sentences as if she is asking a question. (Even on responses where she is not checking in with him, that is what submissive females do.)  Significantly, throughout the interview, she keeps turning her full head towards him to gaze at him. She makes a point to state he got down on one knee, and shares that more to the journalist than to him, in a way that indicated the prince got down on one knee to her. She has power that she knows Harry recognizes. She didn’t deliver that information in a purely gushy romantic way. But she IS smitten. She loves to look at him! Harry is wonderfully animated with his free hand gesturing and smiling as they talk about the ring.

As he finished the proposal story, notice how his head tilts toward her to show his desire to connect and be seen as a couple answering the question not just have it be his story. The very next question she jumps in and answers, but again turns to check in with him. I just love how they each have power and how they each check in with each other in a very nice dance. If they keep doing this, two such confident people, they will make a very good couple. I can see them finishing each other’s sentences in an interview 40 year from now if they keep this up.

Note how she got very strong as Harry describes how they first met and as he talks about their mutual friend.  She turns to him and speaks loudly and strongly over his turn, ‘’We... need to protect her privacy.” And how he softly demure and repeats, “protect her privacy.” She is comfortable being strong with him and setting boundaries about what they will share publicly, and he nonverbally acquiesced without looking his significant as he continues smoothly with the story and gestures strongly with a movement across both their bodies.

As she talks about the blind date, she also gestures with her free hand as well. Nice balance for both. I loved how he is talking about wanting a big background on her, see her head dip down in humble embarrassment then as he says she walked and there she was, at time code 3:50 see how they both turn their heads and go into a long mutual gaze they recall the moment they met together. They relive it right in front of us. Lovely.  Next, he huffs, in a take a breath and, “I am really going to have to up my game.” And she keeps looking on and smiling and laughing. 

Link to Article:


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

14 Signs You Have Great Charisma

Patti shared her insights on Charisma with Marissa of Reader's Digest....Read her insights below:
14 Signs You Have Great Charisma
Do you have a magnetic personality? Find out here.
BY:  Marissa Laliberte
You’re a fantastic listener
You might think people get charisma from their way with words, but a lot actually has to do with what they do when they’re not in the spotlight, says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. “When you really look at charismatic people, it’s often how they make the other person feel that identifies them as charismatic, which I think is one of the magical secrets about it,” she says. If you act interested in others, they’ll have a better impression of you, which is why charismatic people also happen to be great listeners. Holding eye contact, leaning in, ignoring your phone, and using these other habits of great listeners make the talker feel like the only person in the room,.

 You ask follow-up questions
Active listeners aren’t just waiting to pass the time until they can talk again—they really care about understanding what the other person has to say, says Ron Riggio, PhD, professor of leadership and organizational psychology at Claremont McKenna College and author of The Charisma Quotient: What It Is, How to Get It, How to Use It. “Listening is not just ‘did I hear the sounds going through my ears?’ but ‘can I decode it?’” says Dr. Riggio. “Your talking should be to draw out more information from the other person or for clarity.” Asking questions to make sure you’re understanding correctly will help you understand the other person better and build your own charisma. Avoid making these mistakes of bad listeners.

  You make your voice heard
“Charismatic people are good listeners but also interrupt more to get heard,” says Wood. “But you have to be likable when you do it.” Only interrupt if you have a particularly powerful idea to contribute, and keep it positive—people won’t resent the interruption if you’re complimenting them or boosting spirits. Also, make sure you speak loudly enough to make an impact. Reserved people might have to raise their voices to what feels like yelling to reach a level that seems normal to others. Avoid falling into these annoying speaking habits.
You're willing to show emotion
People with magnetic personalities won’t keep on a poker face when they’re expressing themselves. “Whatever the emotion is, it’s right there on their face and matches the word messaging,” says Wood. They use a big grin when they’re happy, and use angry gestures when they’re frustrated. People like knowing your true colors, so revealing how you feel will help you connect better. Don't miss these other habits of naturally charming people.

You can keep your reactions contained
On the other hand, knowing how to filter your emotions to fit the situation shows charisma. “It’s being authentic as opposed to being transparent, which is everything I believe or feel comes out immediately,” says Dr. Riggio. “Authenticity is regulating that to a certain extent.” No matter how much you’re fuming, for instance, you can contain your anger without making a big scene. Read this to improve your emotional intelligence.

You show empathy without saying a word
Not only do charismatic people show emotion when they’re talking, but they also wear their hearts on their sleeves when they’re listening. Specifically, those emotions are in line with the feelings the other person is expressing. “A charismatic person will not have a big, dumb smile on their face when someone is telling something horrible,” says Dr. Riggio. “Your face shows sadness and sympathy and you may not have to say anything.” The other person will walk away feeling like the two of you really connected. Find out if you have exceptional empathy.

You look cheerful, even when you aren’t smiling
Everyone has a resting face—you know, the one when you’re staring blankly without showing much emotion—but some look happier than others. If yours looks friendly and welcoming, you’ll seem warmer and more approachable. But if you look like you have a grimace, even when you’re perfectly happy, people could be put off, says Wood. Take a look in the mirror. If your resting face looks unhappy, making a conscious effort to change it could give you big results. “When you make small changes to your facial expressions, the way you sit, or the way you stand, it creates a whole cascade of chemicals within your system so you change how you feel,” says Wood. You might find your friendly face creates a cheerful attitude. Try these other little tricks to feel happier all year.

You use big, upward hand gestures
“Up” body language, like holding your head high, turning up the corners of your mouth, and lifting your arms for hand gestures, makes you seem like a happier, lighter person. “You can be a conductor and your body becomes the baton and is bringing the conversation of your group upward,” says Wood. “It makes people feel euphoric and above the norm.” Not only will you look more fun to others, but you’ll also start to feel it for yourself. Those movements create endorphin-like chemicals that improve your mood, says Wood. You can also build trust with these body language tricks.

You hold eye contact without looking creepy
Laser-focused eye contact shows you’re listening hard, which will show you care about what others have to say. But turning it into a stare-down can make the listener feel intimidated or uncomfortable. “It’s intense and just borderline of staring,” says Wood, “but what charismatic people do is they put in not just the power aspect of eye contact but the likability of smiling and nodding.” Don't miss these awkward habits that actually build trust.

You’re good at reading emotions
Adjusting reactions to fit the situation is a skill of charismatic people. But they wouldn’t know how to adapt if they weren’t good at reading between the lines when others are talking. They don’t just look at facial cues, which are the first thing people will try to control when hiding their emotions. “A really good charismatic person is going to look beyond what’s being presented in the face,” says Dr. Riggio. “Look for subtle cues and inconsistencies.” For instance, you might notice that a smile looks forced, or that excessive fidgeting makes a person seem anxious.

You have drawn-out hellos and goodbyes
Spending a long time greeting someone or saying farewell will show you’re genuinely excited to see that person and aren’t just rushing through formalities. “Spend that time and really connect and want to hear about them,” says Wood. “When you make someone feel special, you seem special.” Sprinkle in these magic phrases that make anyone trust you.



You aren’t cliquey
Introducing yourself to people from different generations, backgrounds, and cultures will help you seem charismatic, no matter who you’re with. “The more you get out and interact with people, the more you understand the diversity of people,” says Dr. Riggio. “Not everyone reacts the same way.” You’ll be able to adapt better to different situations without losing any authenticity. Try these mental shifts to improve your sensitivity.


You don’t always keep your hands to yourself
A brief touch—the “safe zone” is from the fingertips to the elbows—when telling someone you enjoyed meeting them or loved their presentation could make you more memorable, says Wood. “It shows warmth and likability and makes the other person feel singled out and special,” she says. Just make sure you follow the etiquette of your office. If any touching is frowned upon, you’ll want to keep your hands to yourself.


You give great visualizations
People will remember what you said better if you leave them with a clearer picture. “I can say ‘this car had this sort of black shininess to it’ or I could say ‘it had a black sheen like a raven’s feathers,’” says Dr. Riggio. “Now I’ve given you a little more to visualize. You’re seeing the raven’s feathers.” Charismatic people seem like more engaging speakers by sprinkling in examples and imagery. These magic phrases will help you nail public speaking.




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

6 Secrets to Negotiating a Raise Like a Boss

6 Secrets to Negotiating a Raise Like a Boss
April 11, 2016 9:00 am by Marissa Miller














Whether you’re negotiating the terms of your contract before accepting the job or asking for a raise that reflects your value as an employee, asking for more money is a skill you’ll rely on time and again throughout your entire career. Having “The Talk” can be complicated, not to mention intimidating. But because the gender pay gap is far too wide, with women making a national average of 79 cents for every man’s dollar, championing your self-worth has never been more important.
“This is a very complicated issue, but what we do know is that the pay gap starts as soon as a woman throws her graduation cap in the air,” says Deepti Gudipati, VP of Member Leadership Programs at the American Association of University Women (AAUW), a leading organization promoting equity and education for women and girls. “The AAUW’s research shows that just one year out of college, women working full time already earn less than their male colleagues earn—even when they have the same major and work in the same field.”
The Equal Pay Act hasn’t been updated since 1963, so it’s up to us to institute change. Until Congress takes actionable steps toward equality, celebrate Equal Pay Day tomorrow by using these tips from the pros.
1. Choose Syntax Wisely
“Our research suggests you should pronounce the ‘give’ in negotiations rather than the ‘take.’ In salary negotiations, this means what the other party gains from you,” says Roman Trötschel, a researcher and professor in the department of social and organizational psychology at the University of Lüneburg.
First, gauge the other party’s underlying interests: What does your boss or the recruiter want, and why? “Most employees only talk about the money without emphasizing what they are willing to give. This leads to a huge power imbalance,” he says. It’s crucial to have an arsenal of evidence-backed defenses at the ready when asking for more money. Make mental notes (or better yet, a fact sheet documenting all the targets you’ve exceeded or projects you’ve initiated). Here are some safe phrases to put your boss’s mind at ease:
Through my work, the company gained x, y, and z in the last years.
If you agree, we both could win . . .
I’m offering to take on the following tasks in the future . . .
And be decisive. A recent study by Trötschel published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that saying something declarative to the effect of “I charge $50 per hour for my services” is more effective than asking, “Will you accept $50 an hour?”
2. Pose Powerfully
Sure, it’s easy to relegate yourself to the confines of email when discussing touchy topics like money, but schedule an IRL meeting with your boss and you’ll reap major financial rewards. Not only does that suggest you’re serious about making a case for yourself, but it will give you the opportunity to power pose.
A recent Harvard Business School study found that those who adopted expansive, high-power poses, as opposed to contracted ones like hand clasping, performed better during high-stakes professional settings. The study also found that nailing these nonverbal poses reduces stress and anxiety, giving you the confidence to fake it until you make it (the money that is).
3. Perfect Your Voice
It’s all in the delivery. Don’t deviate radically from your natural intonation, since that could come off as insincere, but if you have a bad case of vocal fry (a common speech trait in women where definitive statements come off as questions), now’s the time to keep it in check.
To complicate matters a bit more, a study published in NeuroImage, a Journal of Brain Function, found that your boss, regardless of their gender, may interpret a high-pitched female voice differently than a male’s, activating certain regions in the brain that may process information in a gender-discriminatory way. The (somewhat) good news? “You can train [your voice] to be lower,” says Patti Wood, president of Communication Dynamics, body language expert, and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma. She suggests deep relaxation using in-and-out breathing counting on the count of three to relax the vocal cords. Use caution when pepping yourself up on coffee or iced beverages, since they can shrink your vocal cords, registering your voice higher.
4. Dress the Part
If a picture can speak a thousand words, perhaps your outfit can speak a thousand bucks. Before that meeting with your boss, think critically about what you want your appearance to convey. Of course, don’t show up completely unrecognizable, but go the extra mile to iron out any creases in your blouse.
“More than anything, you have to feel your very best in whatever you’re wearing. It has to be your favorite, whether a skirt or a jacket,” says Wood. “Whatever you wear needs to have a power or comfort to it. Do what feels best for you.” Employ power colors like red and black that tend to make people feel protected and strong. Finally, Wood recommends sticking to flats since they’ll help you maintain balance both mentally and physically.
5. Visualize Success
In moments of stress, our brains tend to shut down, which does little in the way of putting your best negotiating skills forward. Instead of letting your mind travel to dark places of failure, condition it to do just the opposite.
“Actually visualize and script out your success. Think of that as an obstacle course that you’re winning,” Wood says. This way, your brain is already familiar with feelings of success, so you’ll be more confident. She says she’s seen it work wonders for clients.
6. Stay True to Your Feminine Side
Women often have a strong kind, nurturing side, and those traits often don’t fit within the traditional schema of “power.” But there’s a silver lining. “One thing you want to use in negotiation is your ability to read people,” says Wood. “We’re adept at that: being able to understand people. You can read people to know how far to push or how soft you need to be. See it as a strength.”


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Live Body Language Read of President Obama and Govenor Mitt Romney During the October 3rd Debate

Patti did a live, moment by moment body language read of both President Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney during the October 3rd Presidential Debate for Current.com.  Check the link below to see the article and see her notes below!

http://current.com/groups/news-blog/93919134_based-on-body-language-denver-debate-is-a-draw.htm

Romney is out of the gate at the debate with enormous energy.  His gestures are high and what I call in the victory range of the body that's above the heart. He was hopeful and very confident. I did not like how he handled the rules over talking, raising his voice, ignoring the rules and the way he kind of smirked.
 
Obama and his gestures are very decisive, close to his heart which says he truly feels what he is saying.  I would like his gestures to be higher and show more confidence. Also seeing here Romney getting that superior look, lifting his chin high that shows superiority. He gestures after he speaks.  This is the first time I've seen him gesture as he speaks or before.  He's highly energetic never seen him quite like this before.  He is having a good time. This is apparent from the liveliness and the energy in his voice.
 
Obama is very calm.  His voice level has regained that wonderful, deep resonance that I have missed hearing in his voice at the Democratic Convention.  It's interesting that Obama is using a pen to gesture to make his points.  You can tell he's getting really angry at Romney.  He's getting a very tight lip, downward smile.  Obama is giving a sour pursed lip facial expression that shows he finds Romney's rule breaking very distasteful.  Malley is doing a fake grin and he's looking totally away from Romney trying to get back the floor.

Romney is highly energetic. He is giving more gestures and more animation than I have ever seen. High energy at the start of the debates that gives a positive primacy effect (persuasion term for first impression.)
Obama's voice is back to its deep resonate quality at the beginning of the debate. But, as Governor Romney breaks the debate rules and discusses getting rid of Obama Care President Obama's voice becomes tighter, higher and more strained. He loses a bit of his credibility.

Obama’s gestures are small, restrained and close to his heart at the beginning of the debates.  I would like his gestures to be smoother and larger and sweep upwards so he would appear more confident.

As Obama talks about OBAMA Care his voice becomes more powerful again. The fuel for that energy is anger. That could work for him. A debater who shows controlled anger can communicate a powerful alpha presence to the television audience. Our limbic brain will follow the most powerful debater.

Now Romney is interrupting continuing to talk past his time. This is clear response to Obama sounding powerful. Romney has to win each round.  His "over-talking" will appeal to the emotional viewer and seem rude and overbearing to the logical viewer.

President Obama's nonverbal response to this is great.  He stays back and stands tall.  He does not lean in and try to compete. He stays presidential.

Oh now Obama is getting mad as Romney discusses loans.  He gives a sour, lemon mouth to Romney.

I am reading an overall excitement in Romney. He is energized by the fight.

Oh this is good. He is talking about how he spoke this way when he was running for office four years ago. That makes the viewer see Romney’s energy and optimism seem naive.

Now Obama is on a roll now he is ignoring the time limits rules.  I love the large true smile when he was called on it. That smile was great. I want to see him do that when he says something positive, some action he will take if re-elected.

Obama is talking about board for health care. When Obama Care is fully implemented finally his gestures move up. He truly feels like Obama Care will work.

Romney’s replacement for Obama care - I still am struck by his energy. He seems charged. Highly caffeinated, rapid rushed speaking.


Romney rubs his eye when Obama calls him on the fact that his health care statement is just restating the law as it is now. First time in the debates I see Romney is shaken.

Romney is blinking rapidly and also showing his stress level is high.

Interesting Romney can't stand being beaten.  He ignores the rules again and goes into his pat answer. Obama loses his win on that round.  We see the irritation in his look to the moderator and his tight downward smile and his shaking of his head no and he looks down

Romney's blinking rate is increasing.

Obama needs to be very careful he keeps looking down. I know it is to stay contained and not showing his anger. But, that downward head can appear like he his hanging his head in shame, showing a lack of power.

Romney’s energy comes up as he talks about teachers. He is racing again. Did he get a quadruple expresso at Starbucks? This may work against his credibility.  Ahhh it does bring it down when compared with Obama’s response. Obama has the wonderful power of the pause.

He speaks with confidence here.

Romney does a good job with his response.  He does pause when he says his numbers. Romney’s shoulders go forward and his chest poofs up.  He loves to go on the attack.

Romney at his close still has a lot of energy but I would've coached him to be a little bit slower and a little bit more purposeful. I would have advised him of the power of the pause.

Obama didn't look at the camera in the eye in the audience long enough in his close. His head came down. He looked defeated.

Romney overall was aggressive but nonverbally won the debate on charisma as I discuss in my new book "SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma.”

Did you see the big smile on Romney’s face as the debate ended? He felt he won. Interesting Romney was last to leave the podium and the stage. He knows how to look powerful.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Patti Reads the Body Language of Casey Anthony on the Dr. Drew Show

Find out my latest body language reads that I shared with Dr. Drew yesterday after viewing tapes of Casey Anthony in the courtroom during the murder trial of her 2 year old daughter, Caylee. I also revealed some insights on Casey's mother, Robin, as she took the stand to testify. Check the link below to view my YouTube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert#p/u/0/FlPEka0XOds


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

A Tip From Patti

As a vocal coach and public speaking expert, Patti Wood answers a reader's question in Men's Health Magazine. Has your voice ever cracked when you got nervous? Patti explains why and what you can do to avoid it happening. Check the link.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/35167078/Men-s-Health-How-to-Keep-My-Voice-From-Cracking

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Voice and Emotion

In fact, unlike other aspects of language prosody is universal. Emotional intonations are similar across all cultures. (Look at research done by Azia-Sadeh) I believe that some of the problems that people are having today with social interactions via email, text, Facebook and other similar mediums in the lack of the the access to Prosody and with the cell phone conversation that loss of quality sound makes it more difficult to read all of paralanguage. I have the new Iphone. And though I tell my friends if my Iphone could cuddle on the coach I would date it, the truth is I find the sound quality poor and have experienced frustration listening to people on the Iphone and not being able to read them accurately. In fact, I find I am interrupting friends asking if they are "still there." because I can't hear one of the most important factors of turn taking, breathing.


When I coach executives on public speaking skills we discuss the importance of communicating emotions. Reading notes or PowerPoint slides or any kind of list such a bullet pointed lists on a slide automatically make your voice go monotone.Creating a unemotional voice, boring and because emotions are one of the strongest links to memory, unmemorable!

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional The Body Language Expert Web- http://www.PattiWood.netI have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Billy May's voice will be missed on TV

The TV pitchman Billy Mays died today ABC News Story. He had an iconic voice, loud abrasive and fast paced and even some say horribly irritating. He created a first impression of power and confidence. I used his voice as an example in my speeches and workshops on body language as an example of persuasive paralanguage. His body language, the big smile and energy and his enthusiastic voice certainly made us buy a lot of Orange Glo and Oxiclean. And there was no mistaking his voice for anyone else's. "As Seen on TV" ads will never be the same.

What Can Your Voice Reveal About Your Personality?

What if you could go in for your first appointment with a doctor and know whether or not he or she had been sued for malpractice merely by listening to the tone of his or her voice? Would that seem magical? Well you can. Recent research that removed the meaning of the words from real surgeons' messages and played merely the tone of their voices to subjects found that the subjects where able to distinguish the doctors who had actually been sued for malpractice from the ones who had not. OK, the ones that had been sued may have sounded a bit like the grouch TV doctor House who seems to hate his patients, but the real discovery is that the difference in someone's tone of voice reveals so much about them. I was working with a client this week who was upset with a coworker for, "..making him wrong". I asked him to use my conflict management tool, the ERASER method (check out the full How To article on my website www.PattiWood.net under articles), to write a script to the coworker about his behavior. It turns out that the coworker said nothing in the word message about my client being wrong. My client felt he was being made wrong by the tone of voice his coworker was using. Here is a link to the research study on the doctors tone of voice revealing a history of malpractice. While you're there check out the site. It is one of my personal favorites. http://www.medscape.com/medline/abstract/12110787