Search This Blog

Wedding customs

Today is my niece Missy’s wedding day. The groomen's job in the middle ages was to help kidnap the bride from a neighboring villiage and guard till the wedding her so she would not run away and her family could not steal her back.

Missy will not be running away, she is very much in love. Her fiancé Kevin has definitely kidnapped her heart.

Right now her girlfriends and maid of Honor are fixing her long blonde hair. The bride’s maids in medieval times stayed with the bride in the days before the marriage and braided her hair with flowers and rubbed her with perfumes oils, basically trying to keep her calm. Here I hear the girls laughing and talking about Whistler’s resort where she and Kevin will spend their honeymoon. It's a nice sound

You will find more info Monday on traditional wedding customs. I love knowing the origin or nonverbal rituals.

Wedding history

I am writing this post as we are getting ready to go to my nieces wedding rehearsal.
Last night my future nephew had his bachelor party, where they were joined by the bachlorettes who had just finished their spa day. The first bachelor parties were in Sparta and were given by warriors to celebrate fellow warrior’s upcoming nuptials.
The first “weds” in Anglo Saxon times were guarantees of the groom’s family that the bride would be taken care of for the rest of her life.

Baby worship

Yesterday my family spent several hours watching my nine month old nephew crawl, walk, play and eat. It’s an odd ritual, ten adults giving their rapt attention to a baby.

Why? We are wired to find a baby’s large head, round eyes, and little nose attractive. Our primal brains are wired to insure a baby’s survival. In our family we call this fascination baby worship, and that seems an appropriate name.

Now, if you will excuse me. I have to go and wrap a little tractor with a farmer and mooing cow for my little nephew, an offering to the baby god.

side by side in a golf cart

Yesterday I was on an all day car trip. Sitting next to my sister talking and laughing I thought about the intimacy that the seating space in a car creates. Intimate space is created by standing or sitting less than 16 inches from someone. Sitting side by side in car creates a unique opportunity, for self disclosure and bonding. It almost forces you to bond.

I remember how my father uses to love to play golf. I bet one of the things he loved was sitting side by side with one of his buddies, joking and laughing for a day. You add a cooler of beer to the outing and you can really self disclose!

On the trip with my sister we talked and laughed for 8 hours. Maybe we should all take a long car trip or play golf with a loved one.

How should you seat groups of people

How should you seat groups of people?
It depends on what activity you want to encourage. If you want people to visit, share ideas, bond and create agreement, put them in “social seating.” This spacing actually brings people together, like team style seating in a classroom or the dining table in most homes. The people are facing each other around a table but the table breadth is no more than three feet, so they are still in personal distance.
If you want them to be quiet, be obedient and listen, use sociofugal seating. This creates spacing which separates people so no one faces anyone else. We see this in the straight rows of chairs found in airports or bus terminals.
Positions at a table also communicate power. In Western cultures, a father traditionally sits at the head of the table facing the other members of the family, appropriate to his primary role in patriarchal societies.