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Refusing a Handshake

The sight of one hand shaking: Terry humiliated

It was billed as the match of the day, but one side didn't want to play

By Kate Youde and Edward Randell

Sunday, 28 February 2010

One commentator – without apparent irony – said it was the most eagerly anticipated handshake in history. That may have been a little overblown, but in the world of sport and its attendant soap opera, all eyes were on Stamford Bridge yesterday. The usually perfunctory pre-match greeting ritual overshadowed the football as fans waited to see whether the Manchester City defender Wayne Bridge would stick with tradition and shake hands with Chelsea's captain, John Terry.


It was the first time the former team-mates had met since allegations surfaced that Terry had had an affair with Vanessa Perroncel, Bridge's ex-girlfriend and mother of his son.

The bookmakers Coral suspended bets on a possible handshake at 9.30am yesterday after a surge of wagers that the players would not shake. The pair had previously been odds-on to touch palms. William Hill said the non-shake would cost the company "a five-figure sum".

Bridge shook hands with the rest of the Chelsea players before kick-off but rejected Terry's proffered salutation. Terry, for his part, did not look him in the eye. Bridge's public snub of the sacked England captain came after his decision 48 hours earlier to rule himself out of the country's summer World Cup campaign, which would have involved playing alongside Terry. Bridge had the double satisfaction of being part of his side's shock 4-2 defeat of Chelsea.

Body language experts say the true origins of the handshake are lost in the passage of time. The gesture is taken as a sign of peace between warriors – to show that they were not carrying weapons.

Handshakes take on even greater significance on the world's political stage (see panel, below). President Bill Clinton famously brokered a handshake between the Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin in 1993. It was seen as highly symbolic and prompted hopes for a huge step forward in the Middle East peace process.

Patti Wood, an expert on human interaction, said Bridge's refusal to accept Terry's outstretched hand denied both the "hand of friendship" and the "greater ritual of the game". She explained: "In a game situation, the handshake says 'this is a game, and when we shake hands again we're going to be friends again'. So in this case, if you have somebody that you're competing with and you refuse to shake hands, you're symbolically saying: 'This is real. I'm going to really hurt you; we're not going to be friends afterwards'."

Ms Wood said snubbing a handshake was also "a way of saying 'I'm superior'. For instance, Donald Trump refuses to shake hands – he says because of germs, but there's also a power issue there. "If I'm doing a deal with you and I don't shake hands, you're below me."

Bridge's team were on the receiving end of the last high-profile handshake snub last December. The team's then manager Mark Hughes, having triumphed 3-0 over Arsenal, saw a fuming Arsène Wenger rebuff his gesture of sportsmanship. Hughes claimed Wenger "should be a little more gracious".

However, a survey last month revealed that the typically British handshake is going out of fashion, with youngsters preferring showbiz air kisses or fist bumps. Only 45 per cent of under 25s now use a handshake when they greet one another, compared to 69 per cent of those over the age of 25. A poll of 1,000 people found 74 per cent of adults shake hands less than they used to.

Great shakes...

Adolf Hitler and Jesse Owens

August 1936, Berlin

The Führer famously refused to shake hands after Owens won gold at the Olympics – although some have called this is a myth.

Richard Nixon and Mao Zedong

February 1972, Beijing

The picture of the Communist-hating Nixon grinning and gripping the Chairman's hand amazed the international community and ushered in a new phase of Sino-US relations.

Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev

November 1985, Geneva

At the first meeting of American and Russian leaders for six years, Reagan and Gorbachev reached across the table and paved the way for the thaw of the Cold War.

Nelson Mandela and F W de Klerk

February 1992, Davos

The former apartheid opponents shook hands at the World Economic Forum, appealing jointly for foreign investment in South Africa.

Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat

September 1993, Washington DC

Bill Clinton stage-managed this historic shake between the old foes, a landmark moment for the Middle East peace process which was watched by cheering crowds.

Prince Charles and Robert Mugabe

April 2005, Vatican City

The prince was criticised for shaking hands with the Zimbabwean leader at the Pope's funeral. Clarence House said he had been "caught by surprise".

Edward Randell


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
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Refusing to shake hands in sports

What does refusing a handshake mean?
I got a call yesterday from the UK publication The Independent on Sunday. The reporter shared that one famous soccer player had refused to shake hands with another. The soccer players involved are John Terry and Wayne Bridge.

LONDON, Feb 27 (Reuters) - Wayne Bridge refused to shake the hand of former team mate John Terry during the pre-match greeting between opposing teams before Manchester City’s Premier League match kicked off at Chelsea on Saturday.

Bridge, who has made himself unavailable to be selected for England rather than be in the same squad as Terry, ignored the Chelsea defender as the Manchester City players walked down the line of home players.

The two men have been the centre of newspapers headlines for weeks following allegations that Terry, his former close friend, had an extra-marital affair with Bridge’s former girlfriend.

After shaking hands with the officials, Bridge then came to Terry, glanced and ignored him then continued to shake hands with the rest of the Chelsea side, many of whom are his former team mates.

I discussed with the reporter what that refusal meant.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
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First Impression, What you do makes a differance.

What does your first impression say about you?
Clients come to me to improve their first impression and create more effective first encounters. Sometimes people are uncomfortable and they develop little nonverbal behaviors that effect their first impression and once they become aware of those habits and there effect magic happens.
A year ago I was working with a coaching client on her first impression. My client is happily married and in her 50's she wants to feel more comfortable interacting with strangers. She had noticed that when she was out with a particular girlfriend that strangers approached her girlfriend before her and would stand facing toward her friend and engage with her friend before her. She wanted full unedited feedback from me about her first impression. The first thing I shared with her was how her very silhouette could be off putting. She is very attractive but because she has very broad shoulders and a broad upper chest while the rest of her torso comes in it creates a v silhouette. You have heard me speak about how silhouette's are read by on of the brains in the eye. That silhouette looks like a big man. Just viewing that silhouette can activate the danger response and make people less likely to approach and more likely to be on guard if they do interact.
Then we looked at her head. As she stands and sits her head juts forward slightly.A head just can show intent listening or vocal emphasis depending on the timing but if you jut it forward as you approach and hold it there with out other body language cues or facial cues to soften it it can make you look aggressive. My client soften it somewhat by tilting her head to the side a beautiful softening cue, but then added to the mix a mouth cues. She pressed her lips together in a modified pucker. Though her eyes were beautiful she stared without blinking the combination I shared could make her look a bit assertive and judgmental.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Link between Human Capital and Investement and Corporate Deal Success, How Training Leaders Effects Your Bottom Line

Invest in training your people. Study by Hewitt Finds Link between Human Capital Investment and Corporate Deal Success.Training your people makes a difference.

The following article was written by Rebecca Moore
Here is the link http://www.plansponsor.com/Hewitt_Finds_Link_between_Human_Capital_Investment_and_Corporate_Deal_Success.aspx

Retirement Resource
February 22, 2010 (PLANSPONSOR.com) – A new global survey by Hewitt Associates indicates that effectively addressing human capital issues can be a critical tipping point in the success of an organization’s deal.


According to a news release, Hewitt compared the survey responses of companies that exceeded deal objectives (Overachievers) versus those organizations that did not achieve their deal objectives (Underachievers), and found a clear link between deal success and investment in leadership and key talent issues. Overachievers and Underachievers both say leadership and talent strategies are important to the success of a deal (69% versus 62%, respectively), but less than a third (32%) of Underachievers report their leadership and key talent strategy in transactions as being effective, compared with 70% of Overachievers.

In addition, the news release said, Overachievers are twice as likely to effectively identify and retain leaders (81% versus 42%) and assess critical talent (73% versus 35%).

A separate Hewitt analysis shows that the loss of critical employees can have a devastating impact on corporate transactions. Based on a sample of 96 companies representing more than $568 billion in total deal value over a two-year period, the analysis found that more than $54 billion - or 10% - of a deal’s value depends on the rate at which critical employees separate during or immediately after corporate transactions.

Hewitt’s quarterly M&A pulse survey of 278 organizations around the world shows that 72% expect to increase their deal activity over the next two years.

Nearly half (47%) said their past transactions did not achieve their intended financial and strategic objectives. While almost two-thirds (65%) of companies indicate that leadership and key talent retention are critical to the success of a deal, 49% of these organizations report they have lost critical employees at the same rate or at an even higher rate than non-critical employees.

"Human capital is one of the top three intangible assets of any organization, yet many companies fail to execute a rigorous and sustained leadership and key talent approach, permitting key leaders and talent to walk out the door," said Elizabeth Fealy, global leader of Hewitt’s Corporate Transaction and Transformation practice, in the news release. "As companies prepare for 2010 and beyond, there is a real opportunity to shift the dial. Having a formal strategy and game plan for leadership and key talent and effectively executing on it is critical for achieving better deal success."


Rebecca Moore
editors@plansponsor.com
Retirement Resource Center


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

How Vera Wang Got Her Start

I just finished reading a fascinating article in Departures magazine on Bridal Dress Designer Vera Wang. She and now a fashioning low cost designs for Khols.
I was stunned to learn the influence of her demanding father on Vera's career. After she studied drams and art history at Sarah Lawrence College and spent her Junior year at he Sorbonne in Paris she wished to attend design school, but her father refused to pay for it, saying "If you are such a hot shot, get a job," She got one at Vogue and then went on to Ralph Lauren she spent two decades in the magazine business and went back to her dad who said, "You may know magazines but you don't know the fashion business." He backed her on the condition she open a bridal business." She did, even though her favorite "color" is black. Her new line has a long black wedding dress.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel