What Does His Hug Reveal, The Meaning of Hugs

Secrets His Hug Reveals The way your guy holds you close is tightly tied to his feelings for you. Use our tips to unlock the meaning behind his embrace. By Molly Triffin
Emmet Malmström


The Sneak Attack
He comes up behind you and puts his arms around your chest.

Even if he hasn't said the words yet, a guy who grabs you like this is in love. He's blanketing your body with his, your feet are intertwined, you're leaning into him.… There's a real sense of oneness here. "By covering your back, he's conveying that he wants to shelter you," says body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals. "He's also flexing his masculinity — this displays his strength and dominance."

The one exception is if your man almost always hugs you from the back. "That might mean he craves a closer connection but thinks you're unavailable," says Christopher Blazina, PhD, author of The Secret Lives of Men. "He avoids hugging face-to-face because he's worried you're not into him."

The Rub
He gently strokes your back while holding you.

This affectionate gesture signifies that your guy cares deeply about you. "The back is a very vulnerable part of the body," Wood says. "You can't see your back, so being touched there can be startling." Softly rubbing you on such an exposed zone shows that he wants to nurture and protect you. But don't be surprised if his tender caresses soon turn into heavy petting. "Because rubbing has a sexual rhythm, this type of touch can turn him on," Blazina notes.

It's also possible that your man is upset and needs comforting (even if he doesn't verbally fess up to feeling sad). "Having one's back caressed is a soothing touch that people often instinctively crave when they're down," says Janine Driver, president of the Body Language Institute. "A man might rub your back because, unconsciously, that's what he's desiring." If you think he seems a bit off, give him plenty of TLC and ask him if everything's okay.

The Pat
He thumps your upper back during an embrace.

Okay, this hug is loaded. Let's start with the worst-case scenario: He's not into you. "This is how men hug their buddies; it's not romantic at all," Blazina says. "When a guy frequently embraces you like this, it means the relationship's not growing." For example, say your man or crush gives you this half-assed hug when you're out at a bar. He might be doing it to show other people that he is not fully committed to you and is still on the market. Should he dole out The Pat when you're alone, he is probably not feeling a spark anymore or is mad at you.

Wait — don't freak out yet! According to Blazina, if The Pat only happens once in a while, rather than on a regular basis, it's not a red flag. And there are a few other reasons behind it: (1) If he thumps you when you're about to do something scary, such as give a wedding speech, that's a gesture of encouragement (like the way coaches pat players on the back). (2) If you're in public, it could simply mean he isn't into PDA and wants to keep things casual. (3) If your man is preoccupied — on his iPhone, watching TV — don't take it personally. His mind is temporarily elsewhere.

The Waist Wrap
He encircles your lower back with his hands and pulls you tightly toward him.

Hubba hubba! The dude wants you. "A pelvis-to-pelvis embrace shows he'd like to merge with you sexually," Wood says. The farther down your body his hands travel, the more fired up he is.

There's one last thing to take note of: Does he touch his head to yours? "Then he wants to merge his thoughts with yours as well," Wood adds. Translation: If it's a new relationship, you're more than a fling to him. If you've been together for a while, he's ready to get more emotionally and mentally intimate… after you hit the sack, that is.


http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/what-his-hug-body-language-reveals


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner Body Language

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner
Lautner's arched eyebrows show he's focused on Swift, according to body language expert Patti Wood, who says the couple isn't in love but "in like." Still, he isn't totally giving himself to her. "He's withholding emotion," says Patti based on the actor's body language.


http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/photos/fall-couples-who-will-last-2009411

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Michelle Obama's Clothing Choices Effect the Ecomony

The latest Harvard Business Review has an interesting article this month on Michelle Obama's clothing choices effecting the profits of certain clothing lines and spiking purchases at certain stores. The researcher hypothesises that because she is the president's wife, young and attractive people notice what she is wearing. He also thinks that the Internet makes it easier for people to see a photo of Michelle in the news and immediately purchase it online. I just feel sorry for all the poor sleeve makers she has put out of work. Smile.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Sports Illustrated Coaches and Body Language Read of Politicians

Here is the Sports Illustrated article:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/jim_trotter/09/23/quarterbacks/
Here is a link to another piece I did recently for the New York Daily News.
"Body Language Reads of Politicians." Eliot Spitzer is on the far left. far right is George Pataki. next to him is David Paterson. The commentator is next to Spitzer. Did a photo read today for the New York Daily News. http://www.mydailynews.com



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language for Job Interviews

Body language expert Patti Wood is quoted in an article on, "Interviewing for a Job" the link is below. The recommendations were made for college students. I coach clients on job interviewing and college students sometimes feel that an interview is performance where they must prepare word for word answers to possible questions and "shine." An interview should be a conversation and not a performance.

In conversations people make mistakes, it is real. You don't have to shake your head, apologize or ask to start over. Having a conversation means that you should also not "click on" when an interviewer gives you a question you prepared for and "click off' when you finished answering. Stay connected to the interviewer as you answer the questions.

Look at the interviewer when you finish speaking. Respond to their body language. You may not realize you're doing it, but make sure you don't give any "Whew, glad I am done with that." body language or "Shucks I messed up" body language as you finish answering a question. That means don't do the funny little tells such as breathing out a sigh or huff of breath as you finish speaking. Don't make a little relived or upset face as you finish talking. You would be surprised how often interviewees do that. There is something very unsettling about those expressions to an interviewer. Oddly it is more upsetting when they see a little smirk of glee on your face. It may sound creepy but it is a smirk I see on liars who think they have gotten away with their lie. Also, don't suddenly drop or relax your posture or sit back as if you have just finished an operatic solo.
One of the things I emphasized in the article was making good eye contact when you're listening to the interviewer. Another tip is to end strong. Even if you don't think you did well give a good handshake as you leave and stay up and confident. Again, you wouldn't beat yourself up in a conversation for not giving an answer exactly as you rehearsed it. If you want more on job interviewing you may wish to buy my body language book by linking to my website.

http://www.kansan.com/news/2010/oct/21/sell-yourself/?jayplay

Sell yourself
By Brenna Long

Originally published October 21, 2010 at 6 a.m., updated October 21, 2010 at 6 a.m.

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CloseCommentFacebookDiggDeliciousPrint.Dressed to impress, Rachel Schallenberg shook his hand with confidence. She had done the simple greeting before. Then he stopped her and made her do it again. Her professional shake did not meet his standards.

Thankfully, this was a learning environment. Using the career services at KU, Schallenberg, Olathe senior, left her mock interview prepared to pursue a real job.



Under pressure: Whether your interview is in an office, at a career fair or on the phone, remember to be enthusiastic and engaged. If you’re in need of practice to eliminate nervousness, check out the resources at the University Career Center, which offers mock interviews and practice questions.
A quick shake counts for three hours of continuous interaction says Patti Wood, body language expert.

Start every interview with these 10 steps and you’ll be closer to getting a job.

Walk to the person confidently with head level and hands at your side, not in your pockets. If carrying a purse or portfolio, switch it to your left hand.

If sweaty palms or clammy hands plague you, wipe your hands before any handshake.

Briefly smile but don’t go over the top and look cheesy.

Make eye contact, but don’t stare. This lets the person know you want to interact.

Face the person directly, not at an angle.

Make sure you fully extend your right arm, or you may look timid.

Position your hand straight up with thumb on top.

Open the space between your thumb and index finger so your hand easily slides into theirs, keeping your other fingers straight so your palms touch.

Wrap your fingers around their hand and lock hands.

Shake firmly three times and release. The grip is not a contest of strength. Make sure to match the pressure of the other person.

Learning how to interview can help students feel more confident when they nervously sit down to impress future employers. At the University Career Center (UCC), students can get personal guidance on preparing for interviews.

To prepare, the UCC has practice questions, mock interviews and a virtual interview program online. Talking through questions with family and friends can help students get comfortable talking about themselves, says Ann Hartley, associate director at the UCC. For professional advice on interviewing performance, Hartley says the mock interviews at the UCC can help. The staff records and watches the interview with the student. “As much as students hate it, seeing yourself can help you notice the umms and pauses,” Hartley says.

When the interviewer has arrived, Hartley reminds students to take a résumé, pen and paper, but to leave the cell phone behind. “The danger of forgetting [to turn it off] is high, and that won’t make a good first impression,” Hartley says.

Next, take a deep breath and brag about yourself. While your mouth is moving, body language expert Patti Wood wants you to remember eye contact, listening and posture. Wood, who wrote Success Signals: Body Language in Business, says students today lack eye contact. Keeping the eye connection tells the interviewer you are paying attention and are interested in the job. After each answer, remember to listen to the interviewer. “Don’t click off,” Wood says. Along with consistent eye contact, engage the rest of your body. Lean forward slightly with your feet firmly planted on the ground.

After the nerve-wracking part is over, don’t forget to end an in-person interview with a solid handshake, Wood says. Even if you feel like you made mistakes, a firm handshake accompanied by words of interest can leave the interviewer with a good impression.

But not all interviews happen in a sit-down environment. Ryan Watson, Mascoutah, Ill., sophomore, experienced brief in-person interviews at the business career fair. “My goal was to not look like an idiot,” he says. Watson learned the importance of preparing a résumé and researching employers before attending the career fair.

Hartley at the UCC says the 30-second speech about yourself is the most important skill to have in career fair scenarios. “They want to know who you are and what you are there for,” she says.

A phone interview brings a different challenge. The interviewer can’t see your reaction. “Be enthused and animated,” Hartley says. Find a secluded spot and dress up so the mood of your conversation doesn’t turn casual. Hartley also recommends using this type of interview to your advantage by laying out your résumé and cheat sheets.

Heather Luth, Olathe senior, says her stomach filled with butterflies as she answered her cell phone for her first phone interview. “I just tried to focus on sounding excited.”

Nailing a job isn’t all about the interview, but these tips can help that part of the job hunt. If you need more help, visit the UCC in the Burge Union or online. They can help you organize your résumé and send you out of their office prepared to land your dream job.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.