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Poor Communication Skills, Lack of Face-to-Face Time, My Childhood Was Wonderful - A Body Language Expert's Perspective


When I was growing up, the neighborhood kids all knew each other and whose mom made the best cookies.  We played outside all day and we didn’t have to come home till the streetlights came on.  Our moms would leave a big pitcher of “Kool Aid” and yummy snacks on the kitchen table if we wanted to swing by and grab lunch.  We would have adventures, minnow fishing, tree house building, secret forts, and hikes up the creek. We would play games in the street. red light green light, softball and Simon says. We would pretend we were the Beatles and the Partridge family and give concerts. We would get on our bikes together and ride miles to the shopping center. We had enormous freedom. We felt powerful and creative and limitless.  

Now so many kids seem to stay glued to the TV from all day and late into the night or they are on their other electronic devices. I see the effect of the lack of face-to-face in my work training those kids as they go into the workplace. They don’t know how to communicate with each other. If you don’t grow up modeling your parents communication over and over again, for example at the family dinner table or with your gang of friends, you don’t learn the complexities or body language and paralanguage so you cannot read another person’s emotions and you don’t know simple interaction skills like “Turn Taking” or how to ask a question, and listening.
 
In my book “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma” I discuss what you can do about this to improve your own skills and some of the scientific that explain the problems with using technology too much.  For example:  “When you talk to other people face-to-face you lay down neural pathways to the social centers of your brain.  The more you interact interpersonally human to human the stronger the pathways become. Meeting people and talking to them becomes easier and you become more skilled and confident and make a great first impression

When you interact with a technological device you make quick shallow decisions, such as, “I want this text. I don't want this text. ““I want this website it’s interesting. I don't want this one it’s boring” “I want to take this call.” “I don’t want to take this call.” These quick shallow decisions lay down pathways to the ego centers of your brain. In fact, doing so gives you a bit of a high and makes you feel superior to those around you. You can now understand the techno jerk that seems irritated and uncomfortable to have to talk to you. Unfortunately, to successfully make quick shallow decisions you have to weaken pathways to the social centers of your brain. You’re laying your tracks down to the ego center that produces that nice addictive high but interpersonal communication becomes more difficult and may even feel like an inferior means of interacting. Something you are "above" having to do. “

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Jodi Arias’ Fake Crying and Prosecutor Martinez’s Body Language


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGuLFWygmdM&feature=youtu.be

Right before Jodi Arias first dramatic emotional fake breakdown on Wednesday
We see Arias who for days has had a much smarter than you smirk towards the prosecutor getting cornered.  We see her start hooding eyes and the face turn down crinkles of fake sadness.  This fake sadness doesn’t fit the line of questioning.   Liars are desperate they use strong emotions like anger, sadness to manipulate our perception.  

How can you tell if a person is really remorseful versus someone who is crying because he or she got caught?
Here is what you can look for.  I train human resource officers to question suspicious employees. If someone is innocent she wants you to see she is innocent. She will typically move towards you and look at you to be sure you believe her. She won’t suddenly SNAP and hide behind a hair curtain and face block so you can’t see them. Face blocks for Jodi Arias include hand to eye, hand to mouth block, block with Kleenex, and block with arm to take off glasses. When someone is truly remorseful they are responding from the emotional brain. You will typically hear the emotion cry or sob or gulp just before they speak.  They will struggle to get the words out as words are in the neo cortex. Listen when someone is really upset they are acting from the emotional brain.

In your expert opinion -- those tears -- is Jodi Arias faking it?
She is faking it. It’s an “I’m caught” moment. If you looked at just the body language you might think poor, poor Jodi.  She is shown exhibit 78, the photo of the murder, and she knows she’s caught and wants to disappear and SNAP… but look closely and you notice the overacting.   She is using facial blocking motions and hair curtain to protect herself so she doesn’t have to look at the prosecutor. You know she feels caught and is acting because he calmly delvers her standard “I don’t know” there is not the vocal stress or word breaks.

Let's watch another key moment. Arias says she had to shoot Alexander because he attacked her like a linebacker. The prosecutor asked Arias to reenact how Alexander did it.       
Look at her hands. Hands show emotional state.  If Travis had really come at her like a linebacker to grab her remember and show the tension and gripping of his hands. It didn’t happen he didn’t grab her so she can’t fake those complex hunching, grabbing, forward motions. 

If you watch prosecutor Juan Martinez's tone and body language.
Back and forth he pushes her, then backs off, pushes her then backs off.  His behavior looked overly frenetic and at the beginning of his question it actually worked.   He steps forward to attack and backs off so she feels she’s safe.  She thinks she’s won then he is right back again.  On this day he clearly changed from a frustrated parent talking to a smart aleck teenager.  He vocally breaks into the middle of her lies cutting them to shreds. 


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Was Jodi Arias Really Crying?


Check the link below to hear Patti's insights during the Nancy Grace Show and the In Session segment on the body language of Jodi Arias on the witness stand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GORILG9LVYY&feature=youtu.be

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body language research shows that certain facial characteristics or expressions are most attractive to members of the opposite sex? Why?


Body language research shows that certain facial characteristics or expressions are most attractive to members of the opposite sex? Why? Yes facial symmetry. Evolutionary theory shows that symmetry evolved to help with mate selection. Research has shown that women are more attracted to men with more symmetrical features. One study even found that women have more orgasms during sex with men who were more symmetrical, regardless of their level of romantic attachment or the guys' sexual experience.

For more information on faces, facial expressions, facial symmetry or attractiveness type in the keyword in the blog search.  


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Is There a Relationship Between Facial Shape, Health, Happiness and Aggression and Who We Are Attracted To?

Is There a Relationship Between Facial Shape, Health, Happiness and Aggression
and Who We are Attracted to?
 
Yes,  In my book SNAP I discuss in detail how Facial Symmetry is linked to good genetic health. Researchers have also found correlations between symmetry and health, which lends itself to the theory that in looking for a mate, humans and other animals look for those who will be most healthy and free of disease. So facial symmetry makes someone look healthy and that makes them more attractive to us.
What you may not know about facial symmetry and health is how it is linked to mood and other specific health issues. One study found that men with asymmetric faces tend to suffer more from depression, anxiety, headaches and even stomach problems. Women with facial asymmetry were found to be less healthy and more prone to emotional instability and depression. Another study found that the more asymmetric a person's body was, the more likely they were to show signs of aggression when provoked.


For more information on faces, facial expressions, facial symmetry or attractiveness type in the keyword in the blog search.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.