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10 Best Ways to Make a Great First Impression

10 Best Ways to Make a Great First Impression

Patti was interviewed by Advantages Magazine to get her expertise on the subject how to make a great first impression.

10 Best Ways to Make a Great First Impression
Susan Thomas Springer

First impressions last. Here’s how to make yours the best.

Seven seconds or less. That’s all the time you have to make a first impression. From studies
where viewers saw a microsecond of political candidates and predicted who would win the 
election to studies measuring the impact of eye contact, first impressions are a well-dissected
human interaction.

First impressions are strongly held, too, underscoring the importance of making a positive one. 
Luckily this need not add to your worries going into a sales meeting. Instead, try these smart
tips from experts who have made it their business to coach others on making great first impressions.

1. BE YOURSELF

“Playing a character on TV is totally different from being the best and brightest version of yourself,” says Alexa Fischer, a graduate of the Yale School of Drama, actress in television shows
and commercials, and communication coach (www.alexafischer.com). “Salespeople have this
sort of concept of how they’re supposed to be – they’ve got to be on. But in reality, it goes back
to the golden rule. You do unto others how you would wish they would do unto you.”

Fischer says people should be aware of their “default face” and the message it sends. Is it a sour
expression or naturally warm and pleasant? When entering a sales meeting or networking 
event, you can make a conscious choice to come from your most positive place. “A great 
first impression begins by staying firmly planted in Camp Positive – be your warm, open, engaging and authentic self,” she says.

2. NO NEGATIVITY

Maybe you’re anxious about meeting a potential new customer. Whatever the origin of negative
thoughts, take steps to overcome them because your mindset is obvious to others. “If you go
in with that nervousness and insecurity that you have to get this sale, you have to meet your
quota, forget about it,” says Fischer. “People can smell stress 100 yards away.”

Relieve negative thoughts by taking long, deliberate breaths or listening to relaxing music.
Most importantly, focus on how you can be of service to others. When you do this, “all of a
sudden, miraculously, the attention is not on you, your problems, your negative chatter and
the pressure you feel,” she says. “You’re dialing into the other person and that’s what sets 
you free. When we can get out of our own way and stop being crippled by negative thoughts,
we can go about life with so much more generosity and abundance,” adds Fischer.

3. NOTICE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Two people can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute, according
to Patti Wood, sales trainer and author of SNAP – Making the Most of First Impressions Body 
Language and Charisma (www.pattiwood.net).

Wood, who has studied first impressions and body language for 33 years, says the limbic 
or reptilian brain is busy processing emotional and sensory cues from gestures, body 
orientation, facial expressions, tempo, speaking rate and dress. It produces a high degree of 
accuracy and gives you that feeling in your stomach about whether or not you like a person.

Wood says people can learn to be skillful at both sending and reading body language. She 
coaches people in everything from walking to hand gestures to allow them to come across as 
persuasive, engaging and confident.

Her tips, based in science, include planting your feet firmly on the ground with weight evenly
distributed. Square your shoulders since that communicates power. Keep your hands in 
view so it doesn’t look like you’re hiding. With knowledge and an awareness of your own body 
language “you can feel as powerful as you wish to be,” she says.

4. MATCH THEIR VOICE

Listen to your customers’ “hello,” then match the tone, speaking rate and volume. Don’t go
too loud and fast if they are going soft and low. Wood calls this approach dancing with your 
partner.

“Research says if you do that, then to them you sound like a friend – you sound safe,” says Wood. “That’s why we don’t like pushy or over-the-top salespeople because they’re not naturally in our rhythm.”

Wood studied smiling for the dental industry and found it actually changes the mechanics of your voice. “Smiling relaxes and lengthens your vocal chords so your voice has a more mellow and warm quality to it,” she says.

Even when a first impression occurs by phone, smiling still makes a difference. Also, don’t rush
through a series of calls doing them all the same way.

“When you make a sales call, you should listen very intently to how they answer the phone,” 
she says. “They’re going to reveal their emotional state. Ideally we should match that emotional
state.”

5. GET FEEDBACK

How do you know how you come across? Ann Demarais, who holds a Ph.D. in Psychology 
from New York University and founded First Impressions executive coaching (www.firstimpressionsconsulting.com/pages/businesscoaching.html),
says we all have blind spots. So ask trusted friends or your spouse for feedback. Ask them
what you’re doing well and for at least one thing you can improve on. “It’s hard for people
to honestly tell you the constructive stuff, so you need to open the door and say ‘I really want
to learn,’” says Demarais.

A good time to pay attention to how you present yourself to new people is in more challenging
social situations such as parties or networking events. If you notice you speak more than you
listen, make a conscious habit to ask questions before you share.

Just like trying to learn a new golf swing, it’s hard to make many changes at once. So pick one
trait to improve and work on it until it feels comfortable. “Personal development is a life-long
journey, so take it one thing at a time,” says Demarais.

6. LEAD WITH THE POSITIVE

Research shows that if you start a meeting by complaining about the jerk who stole your
parking space, it reflects negatively on you. Demarais says we “mentally muddle stuf” so
sharing a positive anecdote leaves others with a higher opinion of you.

“Whenever you speak positively or passionately about other people or things, those traits get
reflected on you,” she says. “The very first things that people see or hear about you are more
likely to be the way they will perceive you all the time.”

So begin with the positive and leave challenging subjects for later. Thankfully, if there
are bumps in your future relationship, people will minimize them based on their positive first
impression.

It’s a like a social gift to put others in a better mood rather than being a downer. It’s also key
to first impressions since people remember more how you made them feel rather than the
details of what you said.

“Making a good first impression is about being socially generous,” says Demarais. “It’s 
about putting other people’s needs first. So seeking to make them happy, to make them feel
satisfied, to compliment them, to put them in a better mood, will ultimately be reflected in the 
way they see you.”

7. DRESS FOR SUCCESS

“With first impressions, 55% is based on your visual, your clothing and your body language,”
says Roz Usherof, President of the Usherof Institute and author of The Future of You! Creating
Your Enduring Brand (usherof.com).”Then comes your tone of voice, that’s 38%. And then 
7% is content.”

Dress appropriately for the type of company and level of person. For example, you might 
wear a suit to a bank, but not a software company. If you’re selling an innovative product, 
don’t show up with an out-of-date hairstyle or eyeglass frames. Usherof says it’s not about
being pretty or handsome; it’s about presenting yourself in an appealing and approachable
manner.

“You could deny that clothing counts, but it’s so impactful,” adds Usherof. As such, when
she pursued her first clients, she rode the elevator in their building at lunchtime to see how 
employees dressed. That sleuthing enabled her to arrive neither over- nor under-dressed for
that environment.

She recommends using caution in showing a lot of piercings and tattoos. “People that are really 
cool and funky could still have a look of polish,” says Usherof. “Just don’t look like you showed 
up after the weekend and didn’t change your clothes.”

Today, business people often check each other out online before they meet in person. So, no
beach vacation or glamour shots on LinkedIn.

Also, dress needs to be consistent. Usherof says you can’t show up looking great for the first
meeting and then slack of thinking, “'I’ve already got them.' You really have to reinforce – it’s
branding.”

8. SMALL TALK LEADS TO BIG TALK

“Your ability to really engage people with small talk, just for a few seconds, and the warmth of
how you deliver your first impression is very critical,” says Usherof.  She suggests looking around the office to see if there is a simple way to start a conversation, such as a family photo.

“Try to make that little small talk without being invasive, to relax the person,” she says. Practicing what she calls “host behavior” also helps with small talk. “Imagine they’re coming into your home and you’ve never met them. How would you welcome them? How would you make them feel important?”

Begin the meeting trying to truly connect. Be polite. Ask where they’d like you to sit. Look
at their business card and perhaps comment on how nice it is.

Reiterating a point often made in business articles, “People do business with people they like 
and feel they can trust,” says Usheroff.

9. EXPECT THE BEST

Even the most confident-seeming people feel self-doubt in meeting new people. So remember
your strengths and the qualities your friends admire about you. “Go in with the expectation of
being liked and then you feel more confident and you can have more self-awareness about
areas where you might want to grow,” says Demarais.

While most people practice podium speeches, they may not prepare for meetings. Demarais
recommends asking yourself the hardest question you could get in a meeting such as, “Why
should I switch vendors?” or questions about price.

Play your answer into a recorder to make sure you came across in an upbeat and confident
manner. Once you’ve faced the worst, you can expect the best.

10. BE PRESENT

After you’ve done your homework, researched the customer’s business and practiced your pitch,
you’re prepared so you can tune in to the present moment. Don’t try to wing it. Practice allows
you to be grounded and calm.

“I’m a huge fan of letting go after you’ve done the proper preparation,” says Fischer “Then, just 
get in the world you’re in right now. We’re so distracted by our phones and distracted by our
to-do list and we’ve got a million things swirling around in our brains.”

One way to get present is to really see your world. Look around and notice the color of the 
walls or people’s nametags.  Anchor yourself in the time and place you’re in.

“Focus on them rather than yourself,” says Wood. “Don’t think about the next thing you’re
going to say or how you look – just connect.”

Susan Thomas Springer is an ORbased contributor to Advantages.

When you need a second chance

Despite your best efforts, less-than-stellar first impressions happen. How can you fix that? Roz
Usheroff says while you can’t convince everyone to see you in a new light, these steps will
encourage them to reconsider their original impression.

• Be direct. Tell the person that you may have misrepresented yourself and that you’d like to 
correct that. Tell them it’s important to have a meaningful relationship with them and you want
to hear what they have to say and meet their needs.

• Be your own best PR person. Find ways to demonstrate your value. It’s not about chest
pounding, but about making things happen.

• Recognize it will take time and many positive encounters to erase a bad one. Be patient and
persistent.

Handshake 101

Learn the right way to shake hands so you don’t miss this important connection.

“The handshake is equal to three hours of face-to-face interaction in its ability to establish
rapport, so you don’t want to miss out on it,” says Patti Wood.

• Start early. Wood recommends putting out your hand when you are five to six feet away to show your intention.

• Get good palm contact. With fingers together, scoop down and up into the web of the hand
to make palm to palm contact. Wood says the limbic brain reads this as, “They are unarmed. I can trust them.”

• Match their energy in strength and grip.

• Shake again when you leave. That signals “game over” or a fresh start so you can return and
sell again in the future.

Article Link Below pages 116-120:




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Speaker Showcase - Good Idea or a Waste of time?

Check out Patti's thoughts on the subject of Speaker Showcase at the link below!

http://speakersponsor.com/speaker-showcase/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Their Signature Stance Shows Off Their Style - But It Actually Reveals A Lot About Them, Too! - What's in a Pose?


There is no doubt that these stars manipulate their body language to portray a certain image.  But do they realize just how much of themselves they are actually revealing?  A closer look tells fans who has something to hide, who is looking for a fight and who wants you to know she is calling the shots!






BLAKE: STRIVING FOR SEXY

Blake Lively isn't fully comfortable according to Patti.  The hand on the hip is something she's taken on to be more sexy - but it's not fully her, it's not relaxed.  The real Blake is more private says Patti.  The leg cross is a protective posture.  There is part of her that she does not want to reveal.





KRISTEN: TOUGH CHICK

Kristen Stewart has the body language of a teenage boy according to Patti.  The way she holds her shoulders out and down, like a rebel without a cause, is antagonistic.  She is even fighting down to her feet!  Her feet are apart, which is masculine.  Women tend to do that only when they argue.







BEYONCE: SO IN CHARGE

Beyonce is the boss!  Both hands on hips is a power pose according to Patti. She juts her hip so it is more come-hither.  But the sex appeal does not stop there.  This girl has major body confidence.  The way her hands are palms-down on her hips says that she likes that she is a very curvy and a sensuous woman.








Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Ashlee and Evan are Closer Than Ever



At the start of their romance last year, when Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross stepped out at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel, "there was a tremendous amount of distance," observes Patti.  "They are not in sync and hadn't figured out how to handle the relationship."

Patti gives this "pulling away" couple a 2 on the Life & Style True Love Rating scale.

But on a shopping run this summer, the now-engaged pair are in step and they are showing a playful, comfortable ease with each other according to Patti.

Patti gives this "leaning in" couple a 5 on the Life & Style True Love Rating scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Can Body Language Indicate Personality Traits and Type?

Many of you know that I have been researching the relationship between body language and the DISC personality assessment for many years. After reading about movement analysis being used to determine Putin’s decision making style I have been looking at some of the newest research in personality and nonverbal communication. Here is a great article on some of the research. I have several other articles if you search on my blog for personality or DISC or gestures and speakers.
Note the yellow highlighted information. The following article was posted on http://postnihilism.blogspot.com/2011/07/can-body-language-indicate-personality.html

Can Body Language Indicate Personality Traits?

In my previous discussion paper, “The Tarot as a Source of Ancient Personality Theory”, one of the more interesting findings was that some characteristics of the court cards, which are believed to represent people in your life, had to do with the way people move, such as ‘graceful’, ‘swift’, ‘acute’, ‘slow’ and ‘clumsy’. As a result this researcher was lead to question whether personality may actually be indicated in how a person moves and carries themselves. However, current personality theory does not associate traits with physical movement within any of the Five Factor Model of personality characteristics. Even though people tend to use their first impressions about a person to make quick judgments regarding personality, surprisingly little research is available to further our understanding of how exactly this might work. In this paper we will examine whether any current research on body language could lend itself to personality theory and expand present knowledge in this area.

          An interesting tool recently used in assessment of personality and body language is Laban Movement Analysis. Created by Rudolf Laban to describe interpret and document human movement for dancers, actors, athletes and health professionals, LMA is also being incorporated by psychologists into these theories by correlating movements with emotional state and personality variables (Levy & Duke, 2003). LMA also takes a gender based approach, finding subtle differences in the expression of particular emotions between males and females. For example, in males anxiety may be expressed by increased use of shrinking movements while dominance, achievement and exhibitionism is expressed by decreased use of enclosing movements. Females, in contrast, expressed anxiety by a decreased tendency to change back and fourth between efforts and lack of emphasis in effort, as well as decreased sagittal movements. Dominance and exhibition is expressed by a decreased use of spreading movements. This indicates that there may be some subtle gender based difference in emotional expression in body language.

          Another study examined whether body language could be linked to desire for control. In a study more than 700 participants were asked to sit and stand in a variety of positions (Rhoads, 2002). In addition, the same subjects completed need for control tests and the results were correlated. Results indicated that people who crossed their arms with the right arm in the dominant position, with the right shoulder elevated, as well as which side they favor when they stand or sit was positively correlated with desire for control. Highly controlling people are associated with characteristics in the low agreeableness trait.

          A very informative study covers a much more holistic view of personality assessment based on body language. Politicians giving speeches were transformed into animated stick figures and shown to subjects, who rated the five personality factors of the figure based on gestures (Koppensteiner & Grammer, 2010). Overall subjects were found to be very adept at associating meaning to gestures and movements. Stick figures with more low arm gesture activity interrupted with smaller periods of high activity were regarded as more agreeable than stick figures with overall high activity. High extraversion was associated with high overall activity and only brief low activity periods. Stick figures with greater head movements were considered less conscientious, more neurotic and less open compared to stick figures with head movements with less amplitude. High openness was associated with pronounced changes in movement direction, and round movements were considered linked to less openness. Making smooth transitions in movement from one activity peak to the next was associated with low neuroticism, whereas high neuroticism was linked to sudden changes in gestures and making these changes more often. Although further study is required to confirm if these traits are consistent, it gives us considerable insight integrating particular movement patterns with trait theory.

          Overall we can start to see connections between body language and personality. High extraversion seems to be connected to more movement, broader, sweeping movements and increased saggital movement. High neuroticism could be seen in shrinking, enclosing movements, decreased saggital movement, more head movement and more sudden, jerky movement. Openness may be linked with more profound changes in movement direction, and conscientiousness with less head movements. Agreeableness may be linked to low periods of activity with short periodic bursts of high activity, as well as displaying more submissive body language such as crossing arms with the left arm dominant as well as sitting and standing with the left shoulder favored relative to the right.

          Going back to the original traits under consideration we could see swiftness as a trait of high extraversion and slowness associated with low extraversion. Graceful gestures could indicate a smoothness of movement linked to low neuroticism. Finally, acute movement could also indicate increased confidence, and hence low neuroticism, or it may indicate high neuroticism if gestures are sharp and change frequently. It is surprising this has not been an area of more intense research, since the research that has been done would seem to indicate that this method of personality assessment is constantly employed by nearly everyone, and deserves to be better understood.

References
Koppensteiner, M. & Grammer, K. 2010. Motion patterns in political speech and their influence on personality. Journal of Research in Personality, 44, 374-379.
Levy, J. A. & Duke, M. P. 2003. The use of Laban Movement Analysis in the study of personality, emotional state and movement style: An exploratory investigation of the veridicality of “body language”. Individual Differences Research, 1, 39-63.
Rhoads, S. A. 2002. Using body language as a measurement of the personality trait of desire for control. Dissertation Abstracts International: Section B: The Sciences and Engineering, 63, 2996


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.