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5 Ways to be More Outgoing!

5 Ways to Be More Outgoing. Tips for Introverts for Networking and Parties. 

Your invited to banquet, a networking event or party for work. What is your first thought? If your answer is, "That will be tiring and possible uncomfortable." You are not alone. I am an introvert. Recently I was invited to a banquet before a speaking event and my first thought was "I can have a good time, but it may be hard." The newest research shows that outgoing people are happier. As an introvert myself I think that may be others measure happiness. Introverts enjoy being by ourselves! It makes us happy. And we find it fun, but it can be draining to socialize, especially with people we don't know. I research and speak on first impressions to find and perfect ways to make it easier to meet greet and socialize with others.  If you want use great first impression body language and make effortless small talk for easy meeting and greeting here are tips for introverts or anyone who wants easy ways to make socializing easier.



5 Ways to Be More Outgoing
Research shows that outgoing people tend to be happier. Try these simple tips for breaking out of your shell, or honing your social skills.
| August 22nd, 2013
When was the last time you gabbed away at a party or asked an acquaintance to lunch? If it’s been a while, it may be time to start putting more effort into happy hour.
A June 2013 study published in the Journal of Research in Personality found that being extroverted in your youth can make you happier as you age. UK researchers asked more than 2,500 people personality questions when they were 16 and 26, then assessed their wellbeing and life satisfaction more than three decades later when they were 60-somethings. The results showed that those who were outgoing during their teens and 20s were happier with where their lives had taken them over the ensuing 40 or 50 years.
While much of personality may be hard-wired, there’s always some nudge room in how you act around others. “Personality is partly genetically determined and it tends to be pretty stable from early adulthood onwards, but some research shows that people who are satisfied with their relationships and their work tend to become a bit more extroverted with time,” says study author Catharine Gale, Ph.D., an epidemiologist at South Hampton General Hospital in England. Here are some ways to build better friendships and invest in a happier future.
Nail a First Impression
A quick body language trick you can use when approaching someone you are about to meet for the first time is to briefly flash your eyebrows upward when you’re about 15 feet away. “It helps you feel more open and receptive and tells the other person that you’re friendly,” says Patti Wood, author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma." This quick facial move is especially helpful for introverts who tend to freeze in place. (Practice your open-and-friendly look in the mirror first so you don’t slip into deer-in-the-headlights territory). Next, when you’re within about six feet, extend your arm firmly with your palm open to shake hands. “Hesitation about offering a hand can make it awkward,” says Wood. Sticking it right out there for a good, firm shake preempts the stress response and helps eliminate some of the anxiety.
Make a Friend
One thing true extroverts are great at is taking the initiative to talk to people and make new friends. If that doesn’t come naturally to you, set a goal to engage one person every week. “A new friend will give you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and grow,” Wood says. Maybe she’ll introduce you to a great book, or more: “Countless studies have shown that friendships and social support have a beneficial impact on health. They make good times better and tough times easier to manage,” says Christie Hartman, Ph.D., a Denver-based behavioral scientist. “We’re all social animals—even introverts.” Go in with a game plan: Open with meet-and-greet questions like “where are you from?” and “what do you do?” They may seem lame, but they actually serve an important purpose. “You’re searching for a commonality,” Wood says. It’s how you establish whether the person is like you. Things as simple as finding out where someone grew up and mentioning that your brother now lives there can create an instantaneous bond of shared experience. Bring up sports, movies, music or the latest Housewives drama. Even talking about the weather can work. If there’s something that perks the other person up, dig deeper. Try to get him or her talking for more than a minute. “It used to be much more natural for people to share stories, but we now have much shorter interactions that are more like e-mails or texts,” Wood says. “We need to put in the time for deeper and longer conversations.”
 Balance the Conversational Scales
Whether you’re the silent type or a chatty Cathy, take this little test: After you finish a conversation with a friend, ask yourself whose voice you heard most during the conversation. If the other person didn’t share very much, you probably talked too much and listened too little, says Wood. If someone mentions something they did over the weekend, say “Oh wow, did you have a good time?” or “Had you ever done that before?” Try to ask a question each time before you make a comment. If you do this, the person will feel more understood and the relationship will grow stronger. Find yourself on the quiet end of the spectrum? Pipe up. Contribute more by raising your voice a little louder than usual and replying with “Yes, and” followed by your thoughts on the topic or a similar experience you had. “It works because you aren’t negating what the other person said. You are saying ‘yes’ and adding to it,” Wood says. “Extroverts don’t see this as an interruption, but as adding to the conversation. You need to jump in like a rabbit.”
Chat at Work
No, we’re not talking about instant messaging. Find the spot at work where people tend to congregate and jump into the water-cooler chitchat, recommends Wood. Set a goal that you’ll go to the break room, bench or wherever it may be on Tuesdays for five minutes. (Shooting for Tuesday rather than Monday will keep you from agonizing over the weekend.) Start small and each Tuesday do something to be more social and friendly with your co-workers. If there’s someone that you’ve found some common ground with, ask them if they want to grab lunch with you.
End on a High Note
When you do go to lunch with a co-worker or new friend, try to skew the conversation toward positive stories as much as possible. “If you spend 15 minutes talking about your car breaking down, there will be a negative association with you,” Wood says. Instead, talk about a fabulous meal you enjoyed at a new restaurant in town, or your favorite yoga studio. It will make you seem more likeable while your friendship is still in a budding phase. “Fledgling relationships can’t handle negativity,” says Hartman. While there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of griping (bad moods happen to good people, after all), make an effort to always switch it to a positive topic toward the end of the meal. It can be as simple as, “It was great talking to you, let’s do this again.” Remember, like the sweet finish of dessert, the last thing you say will linger in the memory of the other person.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Walk the Walk - Body Language Read of Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis



Olivia Wilde, 30, once joked that she and Jason Sudeikis, 38, "have sex like Kenyan marathoners."  But on a 2013 movie date, it seemed they had lost the spark.  This photo on the left just says "We are buddies" observes Patti.

Patti gives this couple a 2 on the Life & Style True Love Rating scale.

But the new parents get more hands-on during a 2014 trip to Toronto.  Their step is in sync and the way Jason sways his hip to Olivia shows a strong sexual connection.

Patti gives this couple a 5 on the Life & Style True Love Rating scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

10 Best Ways to Make a Great First Impression

10 Best Ways to Make a Great First Impression

Patti was interviewed by Advantages Magazine to get her expertise on the subject how to make a great first impression.

10 Best Ways to Make a Great First Impression
Susan Thomas Springer

First impressions last. Here’s how to make yours the best.

Seven seconds or less. That’s all the time you have to make a first impression. From studies
where viewers saw a microsecond of political candidates and predicted who would win the 
election to studies measuring the impact of eye contact, first impressions are a well-dissected
human interaction.

First impressions are strongly held, too, underscoring the importance of making a positive one. 
Luckily this need not add to your worries going into a sales meeting. Instead, try these smart
tips from experts who have made it their business to coach others on making great first impressions.

1. BE YOURSELF

“Playing a character on TV is totally different from being the best and brightest version of yourself,” says Alexa Fischer, a graduate of the Yale School of Drama, actress in television shows
and commercials, and communication coach (www.alexafischer.com). “Salespeople have this
sort of concept of how they’re supposed to be – they’ve got to be on. But in reality, it goes back
to the golden rule. You do unto others how you would wish they would do unto you.”

Fischer says people should be aware of their “default face” and the message it sends. Is it a sour
expression or naturally warm and pleasant? When entering a sales meeting or networking 
event, you can make a conscious choice to come from your most positive place. “A great 
first impression begins by staying firmly planted in Camp Positive – be your warm, open, engaging and authentic self,” she says.

2. NO NEGATIVITY

Maybe you’re anxious about meeting a potential new customer. Whatever the origin of negative
thoughts, take steps to overcome them because your mindset is obvious to others. “If you go
in with that nervousness and insecurity that you have to get this sale, you have to meet your
quota, forget about it,” says Fischer. “People can smell stress 100 yards away.”

Relieve negative thoughts by taking long, deliberate breaths or listening to relaxing music.
Most importantly, focus on how you can be of service to others. When you do this, “all of a
sudden, miraculously, the attention is not on you, your problems, your negative chatter and
the pressure you feel,” she says. “You’re dialing into the other person and that’s what sets 
you free. When we can get out of our own way and stop being crippled by negative thoughts,
we can go about life with so much more generosity and abundance,” adds Fischer.

3. NOTICE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Two people can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute, according
to Patti Wood, sales trainer and author of SNAP – Making the Most of First Impressions Body 
Language and Charisma (www.pattiwood.net).

Wood, who has studied first impressions and body language for 33 years, says the limbic 
or reptilian brain is busy processing emotional and sensory cues from gestures, body 
orientation, facial expressions, tempo, speaking rate and dress. It produces a high degree of 
accuracy and gives you that feeling in your stomach about whether or not you like a person.

Wood says people can learn to be skillful at both sending and reading body language. She 
coaches people in everything from walking to hand gestures to allow them to come across as 
persuasive, engaging and confident.

Her tips, based in science, include planting your feet firmly on the ground with weight evenly
distributed. Square your shoulders since that communicates power. Keep your hands in 
view so it doesn’t look like you’re hiding. With knowledge and an awareness of your own body 
language “you can feel as powerful as you wish to be,” she says.

4. MATCH THEIR VOICE

Listen to your customers’ “hello,” then match the tone, speaking rate and volume. Don’t go
too loud and fast if they are going soft and low. Wood calls this approach dancing with your 
partner.

“Research says if you do that, then to them you sound like a friend – you sound safe,” says Wood. “That’s why we don’t like pushy or over-the-top salespeople because they’re not naturally in our rhythm.”

Wood studied smiling for the dental industry and found it actually changes the mechanics of your voice. “Smiling relaxes and lengthens your vocal chords so your voice has a more mellow and warm quality to it,” she says.

Even when a first impression occurs by phone, smiling still makes a difference. Also, don’t rush
through a series of calls doing them all the same way.

“When you make a sales call, you should listen very intently to how they answer the phone,” 
she says. “They’re going to reveal their emotional state. Ideally we should match that emotional
state.”

5. GET FEEDBACK

How do you know how you come across? Ann Demarais, who holds a Ph.D. in Psychology 
from New York University and founded First Impressions executive coaching (www.firstimpressionsconsulting.com/pages/businesscoaching.html),
says we all have blind spots. So ask trusted friends or your spouse for feedback. Ask them
what you’re doing well and for at least one thing you can improve on. “It’s hard for people
to honestly tell you the constructive stuff, so you need to open the door and say ‘I really want
to learn,’” says Demarais.

A good time to pay attention to how you present yourself to new people is in more challenging
social situations such as parties or networking events. If you notice you speak more than you
listen, make a conscious habit to ask questions before you share.

Just like trying to learn a new golf swing, it’s hard to make many changes at once. So pick one
trait to improve and work on it until it feels comfortable. “Personal development is a life-long
journey, so take it one thing at a time,” says Demarais.

6. LEAD WITH THE POSITIVE

Research shows that if you start a meeting by complaining about the jerk who stole your
parking space, it reflects negatively on you. Demarais says we “mentally muddle stuf” so
sharing a positive anecdote leaves others with a higher opinion of you.

“Whenever you speak positively or passionately about other people or things, those traits get
reflected on you,” she says. “The very first things that people see or hear about you are more
likely to be the way they will perceive you all the time.”

So begin with the positive and leave challenging subjects for later. Thankfully, if there
are bumps in your future relationship, people will minimize them based on their positive first
impression.

It’s a like a social gift to put others in a better mood rather than being a downer. It’s also key
to first impressions since people remember more how you made them feel rather than the
details of what you said.

“Making a good first impression is about being socially generous,” says Demarais. “It’s 
about putting other people’s needs first. So seeking to make them happy, to make them feel
satisfied, to compliment them, to put them in a better mood, will ultimately be reflected in the 
way they see you.”

7. DRESS FOR SUCCESS

“With first impressions, 55% is based on your visual, your clothing and your body language,”
says Roz Usherof, President of the Usherof Institute and author of The Future of You! Creating
Your Enduring Brand (usherof.com).”Then comes your tone of voice, that’s 38%. And then 
7% is content.”

Dress appropriately for the type of company and level of person. For example, you might 
wear a suit to a bank, but not a software company. If you’re selling an innovative product, 
don’t show up with an out-of-date hairstyle or eyeglass frames. Usherof says it’s not about
being pretty or handsome; it’s about presenting yourself in an appealing and approachable
manner.

“You could deny that clothing counts, but it’s so impactful,” adds Usherof. As such, when
she pursued her first clients, she rode the elevator in their building at lunchtime to see how 
employees dressed. That sleuthing enabled her to arrive neither over- nor under-dressed for
that environment.

She recommends using caution in showing a lot of piercings and tattoos. “People that are really 
cool and funky could still have a look of polish,” says Usherof. “Just don’t look like you showed 
up after the weekend and didn’t change your clothes.”

Today, business people often check each other out online before they meet in person. So, no
beach vacation or glamour shots on LinkedIn.

Also, dress needs to be consistent. Usherof says you can’t show up looking great for the first
meeting and then slack of thinking, “'I’ve already got them.' You really have to reinforce – it’s
branding.”

8. SMALL TALK LEADS TO BIG TALK

“Your ability to really engage people with small talk, just for a few seconds, and the warmth of
how you deliver your first impression is very critical,” says Usherof.  She suggests looking around the office to see if there is a simple way to start a conversation, such as a family photo.

“Try to make that little small talk without being invasive, to relax the person,” she says. Practicing what she calls “host behavior” also helps with small talk. “Imagine they’re coming into your home and you’ve never met them. How would you welcome them? How would you make them feel important?”

Begin the meeting trying to truly connect. Be polite. Ask where they’d like you to sit. Look
at their business card and perhaps comment on how nice it is.

Reiterating a point often made in business articles, “People do business with people they like 
and feel they can trust,” says Usheroff.

9. EXPECT THE BEST

Even the most confident-seeming people feel self-doubt in meeting new people. So remember
your strengths and the qualities your friends admire about you. “Go in with the expectation of
being liked and then you feel more confident and you can have more self-awareness about
areas where you might want to grow,” says Demarais.

While most people practice podium speeches, they may not prepare for meetings. Demarais
recommends asking yourself the hardest question you could get in a meeting such as, “Why
should I switch vendors?” or questions about price.

Play your answer into a recorder to make sure you came across in an upbeat and confident
manner. Once you’ve faced the worst, you can expect the best.

10. BE PRESENT

After you’ve done your homework, researched the customer’s business and practiced your pitch,
you’re prepared so you can tune in to the present moment. Don’t try to wing it. Practice allows
you to be grounded and calm.

“I’m a huge fan of letting go after you’ve done the proper preparation,” says Fischer “Then, just 
get in the world you’re in right now. We’re so distracted by our phones and distracted by our
to-do list and we’ve got a million things swirling around in our brains.”

One way to get present is to really see your world. Look around and notice the color of the 
walls or people’s nametags.  Anchor yourself in the time and place you’re in.

“Focus on them rather than yourself,” says Wood. “Don’t think about the next thing you’re
going to say or how you look – just connect.”

Susan Thomas Springer is an ORbased contributor to Advantages.

When you need a second chance

Despite your best efforts, less-than-stellar first impressions happen. How can you fix that? Roz
Usheroff says while you can’t convince everyone to see you in a new light, these steps will
encourage them to reconsider their original impression.

• Be direct. Tell the person that you may have misrepresented yourself and that you’d like to 
correct that. Tell them it’s important to have a meaningful relationship with them and you want
to hear what they have to say and meet their needs.

• Be your own best PR person. Find ways to demonstrate your value. It’s not about chest
pounding, but about making things happen.

• Recognize it will take time and many positive encounters to erase a bad one. Be patient and
persistent.

Handshake 101

Learn the right way to shake hands so you don’t miss this important connection.

“The handshake is equal to three hours of face-to-face interaction in its ability to establish
rapport, so you don’t want to miss out on it,” says Patti Wood.

• Start early. Wood recommends putting out your hand when you are five to six feet away to show your intention.

• Get good palm contact. With fingers together, scoop down and up into the web of the hand
to make palm to palm contact. Wood says the limbic brain reads this as, “They are unarmed. I can trust them.”

• Match their energy in strength and grip.

• Shake again when you leave. That signals “game over” or a fresh start so you can return and
sell again in the future.

Article Link Below pages 116-120:




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Speaker Showcase - Good Idea or a Waste of time?

Check out Patti's thoughts on the subject of Speaker Showcase at the link below!

http://speakersponsor.com/speaker-showcase/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Their Signature Stance Shows Off Their Style - But It Actually Reveals A Lot About Them, Too! - What's in a Pose?


There is no doubt that these stars manipulate their body language to portray a certain image.  But do they realize just how much of themselves they are actually revealing?  A closer look tells fans who has something to hide, who is looking for a fight and who wants you to know she is calling the shots!






BLAKE: STRIVING FOR SEXY

Blake Lively isn't fully comfortable according to Patti.  The hand on the hip is something she's taken on to be more sexy - but it's not fully her, it's not relaxed.  The real Blake is more private says Patti.  The leg cross is a protective posture.  There is part of her that she does not want to reveal.





KRISTEN: TOUGH CHICK

Kristen Stewart has the body language of a teenage boy according to Patti.  The way she holds her shoulders out and down, like a rebel without a cause, is antagonistic.  She is even fighting down to her feet!  Her feet are apart, which is masculine.  Women tend to do that only when they argue.







BEYONCE: SO IN CHARGE

Beyonce is the boss!  Both hands on hips is a power pose according to Patti. She juts her hip so it is more come-hither.  But the sex appeal does not stop there.  This girl has major body confidence.  The way her hands are palms-down on her hips says that she likes that she is a very curvy and a sensuous woman.








Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.