Here is a great article on “The science
of sexy: 5 things that can make you
irresistible.”
I always new as a women that I think funny men are very sexy. And that laughing at a mans jokes can make a women appear more sexy. Here are other attributes that make someone sexy.
From my favorite magazine called THE
WEEK
Establish that you're hard to get in general — but very enthusiastic about the
person you're with
By Eric Barker, Barking Up the Wrong Tree | June 10, 2014
If, unlike JT, you didn't bring sexy back, follow the rules
below. (Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
1. Humor is sexy
Humor is attractive to men and women — but not in the same way.
The research shows women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who
laugh at their jokes.
Recent research
suggests that while both men and women say they like a "good sense of
humor" in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase.
Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women
who laugh at their jokes.
Consistent with this, Robert Provine analyzed more than 3000
singles ads and found that women were more likely to describe their good humor
appreciation ability whereas men were more likely to offer good humor
production ability.
Why is humor sexy? Funny people are smart,
and smart is sexy.
Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller found in a sample of 400
university students that general intelligence and verbal intelligence both
predicted humor production ability (writing captions for cartoons), which in
turn predicted lifetime number of sexual partners (a proxy of reproductive
success). They found, however, that males showed higher average levels of humor
production ability, which is consistent with the sexual selection perspective.
From these results, Greengross argues that a sense of
humor evolved at least partly through sexual selection as an intelligence
indicator.
So ladies can boost
their attractiveness by chuckling a bit more.
And guys, you can
garner more attention by learning how to make women laugh.
Men in the
"humor" condition received phone numbers from 42.9 percent of the
female participants and were refused 57.1 percent of the time. In comparison,
men in the "no humor" condition were refused 84.6 percent of the time
and were only accepted 15.4 percent of the time. In other words, men who were
observed as the humor producers of the group were nearly three times as likely to receive a phone number
than those who were observed as laughing at a friend's joke instead.
2. Being liked is sexy
Want to increase
someone's interest in you? Might be worthwhile to make sure they find out
you're interested in them.
Dr. Aron affirmed that the subjects' expectation that the other
person was going to like them had a huge effect. "If you ask people about
their experience of falling in love, over 90 percent will say that a major
factor was discovering that the other person liked them," according to Dr.
Aron.
This idea is affirmed by studying the effectiveness of "playing hard to get." What's the
best way to play that game?
Establish that
you're hard to get in general — but very enthusiastic about the person you're
with.
As a result of the interviews, the researchers speculated that
the best strategy would be to give a potential date the impression that in
general you were hard to get (and therefore a scarce resource worth having) but
really enthusiastic about him or her specifically. They tested this notion by
using some of the same techniques… and found overwhelming evidence to support
their hypothesis.
3. What you talk about is sexy
Emotional, personal
information exchange promotes powerful feelings of connection.
Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York
at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and
he's come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met
before and making them feel close to one another. Given that he has just an
hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or
years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of
thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in
McAdams's system to level two.
How effective is
it? In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong
friendship.
What he found was striking. The intensity of the dialogue partners'
bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as
closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar
students. In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many
long-term, even lifelong relationships.
That said, don't
get so nervous about your words that you can't speak…
When a woman is
very attracted to a man, whether his pickup line is good or not doesn't matter
at all.
When women are looking for a short-term fling, however, it may
be a different story. One study conducted on college students found that women
favored men for a short-term fling if they found the men attractive regardless
of the content of their pickup lines.
4. Personality is sexy
Conscientiousness is predictive
of a number of very important positive elements in life.
Agreeable, conscientious people make better spouses and parents
— but disagreeable, non-conscientious people have more sex partners. The former
invest in quality, and it seems like the latter make up the difference in,
well, volume.
Looking to settle
down? Check if that person has their ducks in a row, is organized, and easy to
get along with. That's marriage material.
Nettle and Clegg reported that in a sample of 545 people, men
(but not women) with low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness tended
to have a higher number of sexual partners. It has also been found
cross-culturally, across 10 world regions, that low levels of agreeableness and
conscientiousness are related to higher levels of sexual promiscuity and
relationship infidelity, so there may be reproductive benefits to those on the
low end of these traits.
5. How they make you feel is
sexy
Research shows we
don't really fall in love with a person — we fall in love with how we feel when
we're with them.
This is best demonstrated by the concept of emotional contagion: We're bad at
telling what made us feel a certain way, but good about making associations.
Feeling excited,
stimulated, and aroused is often associated with the people around us, even if
they're not the cause.
Those in the high-fear condition did show, for example,
significantly more desire to kiss my confederate (one of the key questions) and
wrote more romantic and sexual content into their stories. Looking at the
details of these results, I found that the situation had generated, quite
specifically, romantic attraction.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at
www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at
www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at
http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
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