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What Does Alpha mean? Can anyone have Alpha Male Power? 10 Ways to Look and Feel More Alpha Power

What Does Alpha mean? Can anyone have Alpha Male Power? 
10 Ways to Look and Feel More Alpha.

The First letter of the Greek Alphabet Alpha in language is used to define someone’s position in social hierarchy. A specific example is "alpha males" or pack leaders. Pack Leaders say what they want and get what they want and they guide the team. Here what you need to look like and sound like to have Alpha Power. 

We all understand the idea of power in first impressions, because we've all experienced it. You walk up to somebody and shake hands and both of you notice who has the more powerful handshake. Alpha power in a handshake is based on factors such as who initiates first, who clasps hardest, uses the other hand to grip and or whose hand is on top etc. When we first meet someone we notice other power or alpha gaining behaviors such as who makes the  initial eye contact and who is staring intently rather than breaking eye contact first. From the first impression, we’re deciding who is going to have more power, who will be Alpha.

You may be thinking this jousting for power is only possible for men or only maintained by the  “Alpha male.” But you don’t have to be male or strong to be powerful.  The power first impression will tell you who is going to run things or whether you’re going to work as equals. But being “Alpha” is only part of power. When you are powerful and confident, anyone can change their nonverbal communication to feel and look more in command. If you do things like hold yourself up and out,  take up more space, and hold your  body windows open you can begin to feel Alpha.

I would be remiss if I did not admit that some things that generate a power impression are permanently set. Tall people are automatically given more power. Height and bulk get people more power and research shows that people with lower, deeper voices also are more apt to have power. If you don’t have these physical attributes, you have to work on it.

I’m a short (5’2”), blond woman. Early in life and career, I wasn’t seen as a credible information source even though I was an expert. I was the short blond girl. I wasn’t given attention, so I learned very early to do certain things. I made my body “bigger” by making my gestures large and sweeping outward,  and making my voice lower and louder and many other subtle cues. I learned very quickly that this helped people recognize that I was “alpha” in the situation. So they booked me as a speaker and consultant.

In the same way, I teach people who are already really tall or big how to soften their appearance. Sometimes the power can be so overwhelming that people back down, back away or don’t even interact. So we also have ways to soften the edge of intimidating power.

Alpha Power is Determined by:
1.       Who initiates contact or touches the other person first.
2.      Who gives a dominant greeting - Alpha power in a handshake is based on factors such as who initiates first, who clasps hardest, who uses the other hand to grip (The higher on the other persons arm the non- shaking hand goes the more power the Alpha power seeker gets. So if you take the extra hand and grip the shoulder of the other person you will gain power. You may look like a jerk, but you will gain power.) and or whose hand is on top and other factors.
3.      Who gives prolonged unblinking eye contact. Not creepy leering. Strong confident eye contact.
4.      Who speaks first. That is in normal interactions. In interactions like a sales person calling on a top level manager, the sales calls some powerful person MAKES the lower status person speak first or may show his or her power by waiting to speak.
5.      Who speaks the loudest – There are exceptions to this rule. Think Marlon Brando in the Godfather or Apocalypse.
6.      Who speaks the most. Again pausing after someone makes a request of you can give you some power, and good listeners can be incredibly powerful but in most interactions the higher status is assigned to the person who talks the most.
7.      Who interrupts the most – I hate that that is true, but that’s what the research says.
8.     Who invades the other person’s space and takes up the most space. invading and taking up the most space.
9.      Who takes the prominent seat –Look at my blog on the power seat or get my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma to get more information on the power seat.
10.  Who is comfortable breaking rules -Break the rules and  establish your own rules. Breaking rules like turn taking, or nonverbal rules like who talks first.

If you have read the Ten Ways to Be Alpha  you may also realize that if your not very careful they could become the ten ways to look like a jerk. 

Imagine a stranger going over the top with these behaviors. He gets up you your face and sticks out his hand, grips your hand savagely and doesn't let go, yells,"Hi ya," does not let go stares and talks loudly without letting your speak, takes your seat and doesn't let you are anyone one else have a turn speaking at the meeting.

 Now imagine you use the alpha cues instead to initiate a warm greeting, listen, but speak up as well as you have some small talk.
Choose a good seat. Take up space at your seat.  Make your ideas an opinions known and comment on others ideas enthusiastically. Linger at the end and visit some more and shake everyone's hand and or let them know what was great about them and or the meeting. 


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

8 Quick Ways to Feel More Energetic Without Drugs or Caffeine. How to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic.

8 Quick Ways to Feel More Energetic Without Drugs or Caffeine.
How to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic.

How you hold your body can actually change how you feel, in less than 1/40 of a second. If you hold and move your body the way you want to feel, your bodies' chemistry can change in a fraction of a second. Your posture and movement create a message that acts like a doctor’s prescription.  The message is sent through your neural  synapses to the brains pharmacy. The brain notes the posture and movements and creates chemicals that match and sends them out into your blood stream so you begin to feel chemically the way your body language is held or moves. If you drag around head down feeling tired you will get the chemicals that make you feel more tired. You think your body language reflects your fatigue and lack of energy but you can change your energy by how you hold and move your body. I have been writing about the biochemistry aspects for over 30 years. (In her Ted Talk, Amy Cuddly speaks about Power Poses using research about this phenomenon.)
Keep your body language “up.” Up energetic body language is beautifully symbolic–you go up when you’re feeling up. In addition up body language brings your posture up in a way that allows more deep full lung capacity breathing which gives you more oxygenated blood, thus more energy. Though the steps may seem wacky, if you are feeling sluggish and just want to lay down and take a nap, these methods can charge you up very quickly.





Eight Quick Ways to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic
  1. Take five deep full breaths.  Breathe in on a count of three, hold for three seconds and let your breath out slowly on the count of three. Make sure your lungs fill up fully.
  2.  Stand up and lift your chest up and out.
  3. Stand up against a wall and see if you can get your shoulders back against the wall. Pull the shoulders back  so even the tops of the shoulders touch the wall. Now step away from the wall and see if you can stand and walk with your shoulders back.  This posture enlarges the chest allowing the lungs to fill up with air giving your body more oxygen.
  4.   Bring your hands up and gesture high in the air. The location of your hands also affects other nonverbal behavior. Put your hands at your sides and your energy goes down, your voice lowers and can become more monotone, and you tend to move less and show fewer facial expressions. Bring your hands to the level of your waist, and you become calm and centered. Bring your hands up high to the level of your upper chest or above, and your voice goes up; you become animated.
  5. You can have fun for a second and pretend you’re a conductor leading an orchestra. Coincidentally, researches show conductors tend to live longer and they believe one of the reasons is their high gesturing that increases their oxygen. You can pretend like you have just won an Olympic competition and bring both hands up above your head and hold them there for three seconds, lower them then raise them again. You can dance to Pink’s song, “Raise Your Glass”, “YMCA” or Taylor Swifts, “Shake it Off.” All contain up gestures! (I just love the up shake it off body language at the end of Taylor Swifts Shake it Off video! The link to it is here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
  6. With a lot of energy and at a very loud volume read a paragraph from something, even these instructions. Overdo it have fun. Sing the lyrics to the songs in step 5.
  7. Make up facial expressions. First bring your eye brows and forehead muscles up and down and up again in a look of surprise. Now smile and open your mouth so your cheeks and the corners of your lips come up.
  8. Have you ever noticed how children skip and move up when they are happy and filled with energy? They are moving with up body language. See if you can walk across a room with the same upward energy. You don’t have to skip just move so that your energy is up.

Try any of these postures and movements anytime to recharge your batteries and feel UP with energy. Your gestures move up, your head comes up, your chest goes up and your shoulders come back and up, your step is upwards. 

I am a researcher, and writer on nonverbal communication and hold degrees with an emphasis in nonverbal communication.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Link to 8 Ways You're Telling Your Boss, "You Don't Want To Be Here"



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

8 Ways Your Telling Your Boss You Don't Want to be There, US NEWS AND WORLD REPORT

Here are a few quotes from me from an article in US News and World Report on bad behaviors that could get you fired.  The link to the  full "rockin" great article by Laura Mcmullen is below the quotes. This topic inspired my blog post below this one, "Ten Behaviors that can get you fired."

You’re tweeting and texting and browsing and shopping – when you should be working. Yes, people sometimes notice when you scroll through Facebook​, add items to your virtual shopping cart or hunch over your smartphone. And speaking of that addicting iPhone, stop checking it during meetings. Seriously. doing so doesn’t make you look important; it kind of makes you look like a jerk. At the very least, don’t set the smartphone or tablet on the table during the meeting, says ​Patti Wood, body language and communication expert​. Doing so is “almost like bringing your 3-year-old to work with you,” she says. “You’re saying: This is important to me. It’s right by my side, and if this distracts me in any way, it’s more important than you are.” And yes, you may feel like whatever you’re doing on the phone is more important than whoever is talking. But Wood points out: “[Your boss] doesn’t know if you’re playing Candy Crush or checking your email from a big client. And they usually assume the worst.”

7. You’re being silent. Wood says silence comes in many forms, such as not picking up the phone to make that client call, not speaking up in meetings or not responding to an email. ​She points out that while you know in your head why you’re remaining silent – you plan to make the call tomorrow; you were feeling under the weather during that meeting; you’re gathering your thoughts before sending the email – the people receiving the silent treatment will probably not be so generous. “Typically people always assume the worst, so they will make up reasons,” she says, and those reasons may not be so flattering, like laziness or unprofessionalism. Don’t leave any room for assumptions. Speak up and engage.

8. You’re not engaging with other people in the office. It’s simple: Say "hello" to your team when you arrive to work, and say "goodbye" when you leave. Give the nod and “howyadoin'?” when you pass your boss in the hallway. Small talk isn't as small as you may think, Wood says. You give your time when you stop and ask about someone's weekend plans. And "time is a communicator of respect," she points out. You don’t have to chat it up or treat every day at the office like a networking event​, but simply extending common courtesies goes a long way, Weisman and Wood say. And the reverse is true, too. Your co-workers and manager likely notice if you skip these niceties every day. “People don’t feel recognized; they don’t feel connected to you,” Wood says. “And whatever your motivation is, people aren’t going to know that.” So if you’re shy, distracted or, in fact, miserable at work, suck it ​up and at least say, "Hi!"



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Ten Behaviors That Could Get You Fired

Ten Behaviors That Could Get You Fired
Nonverbal Behaviors that are "You're Fired!" worthy
8 Ways You’re Telling Your Boss, "I Don't Want to be Here"
By Speaker and Consultant Patti Wood, MA, CSP

Sometimes you are unaware of how you look to others, or you don't think what you are doing or not doing at work is noticed.  But, your behavior is not invisible. What you do says volumes about you. What you don't do can also lead to people thinking your incompetent. When you try to keep your head down and not waste time talking to others, your lack of interaction and face time invisibly tends to make others guess at who you are and what your motivations are. Those guesses, according to research, tend to be negative perceptions about you, as in, “He never speaks up in meetings; he is just too lazy to care.” Or, “All I get from him are one-line emails asking me for something; he is such a jerk.” What behaviors do you do or not do that are dangerous to your job security? I was inspired to write this article after being interviewed by US News and World Report for the article, 8 Ways You're Telling Your Boss, "I Don't Want to be Here."

Following are people's perceptions toward behaviors. These are perceptions that could result in a less-than-stellar view of you in the workplace, and that could result in your management taking actions based on their perceptions, even so far as to remove you from your position.

1. Your posture is slumped down, informal and relaxed. 
Brian had been texting his team until 2:00 in the morning. He was tired and it was not his turn to talk so he slumped in his chair to rest up. 

Remember when your mom would chastise you when you made a rude facial expression, saying, “Don’t make a face like that or your face will freeze like that”? Have you noticed how your body language suddenly changes when you get out of your sweatpants into a suit and hard-soled shoes? Our bodies form in the way we hold and move them the most. We now spend the majority of our waking hours on our couches or in our cubicle and chair bent down and curled over our devices more than seven hours a day, on average. We forget we are very visible and all that slumping over in our muscle memory makes it harder to sit up straight! Have someone snap a photo of you hunched over your computer or tape you talking on the phone or watching TV. Now imagine your boss seeing you sit like that with him or her in a meeting. (Another incentive for not constantly checking your phone is research that shows that looking down at your phone can put a strain on your neck equivalent to the weight of 60 pounds.)  

2. You don’t give your full attention to your boss, from the feet up. 
Cam didn’t really like his boss and didn’t appreciate how he would go on and on. Without realizing it, when he would meet his boss in the hallway or sit in meetings with his boss, he would turn his lower body and feet away from his boss and toward the nearest exit route, ready to run as soon as his boss finished speaking. 

Interacting face-to-face or on the phone or via conference calls while doing something else, like checking your emails and texts, may seem a good use of your time, but your voice or body language might be sending messages to those you work with that you don’t really care. One specific non-verbal behavior area to focus on is your feet. Your feet are most frequently controlled by the limbic brain, so they reveal where you really want to be. For example, if you are in a meeting but really want to be back at your desk getting other work done, your feet may point toward the door. You might think that is a subtle cue that others couldn’t possibly notice, but where your feet point actually affects the rest of your body’s alignment. To be more present and train yourself to be fully attentive, point your feet and the rest of your body toward the speaker. (There are gender-based differences regarding how we like to have close, high-self-disclosure conversations but, generally, if you’re giving attention to a speaker at a meeting or your boss when he is speaking, point your feet toward him or her.)

3. You don’t get to the meeting a little early to talk and stay after the meeting to visit and debrief. 
Karl had a lot of irons in the fire and meeting with the team to go over progress every week and make small talk seemed like a big waste and, honestly, made him feel awkward because he didn’t know how to chit-chat. He was not a time waster, so he worked every minute up until the meeting started and, as soon as it was over, he grabbed his cell phone while still seated to check his messages. He was polite about checking his phone because, as he grabbed it, he would say, “I have to check my messages.”

Beginnings and endings are critical. By spending time visiting with people BEFORE the formal meeting begins and not getting up and leaving quickly or checking your phone while there is still someone with you (and you haven’t visited and said good-bye), you are saying non-verbally, “I am done with you and now I have more important things to do.” The time you spend visiting and interacting face-to-face can be extremely valuable. It helps you establish rapport and get an emotional read of each person. This helps you make connections and alliances, and makes you look better and helps you persuade others to see your viewpoint. On a very basic level, it puts credits in the “relationship account” of each person with whom you interact so he or she knows you care.

4. You don’t turn off technology or put it away before talking, or you focus on technology when people are with you in person. 
Jim carries his phone with him everywhere. It’s in his right hand where he can glance at it often, and you see him walking down the halls on the phone. 

Your computer, electronic pad or smartphone is just one place you should be working. Just a few years ago, you looked like an important, busy and hardworking employee if you brought your phone with you everywhere and were checking it constantly. But that image has since changed. Now, you just look like you’re rude, and that you believe your time and your needs are more important than the person(s) you are with. Yes, even you. I know you are an extremely busy person getting hundreds of texts and/or emails that you must respond to, but think of your device as you would your 3-year-old child. Ask yourself when you are with a work contact, “Would I have my 3-year-old with me during this conversation at work?” If the answer is no, put the device away or don’t even bring it. Challenge yourself to change your behavior in four important ways:

a.    Remember the person in front of you is always more important than anything on your device. He or she is the real, live person.
b.    If you can, don’t take your technology with you, or keep it turned off and completely out of sight. Don’t put it on the desk between you and the other person.
c.    When you get to the meeting, if you have a device that is visible make it a ritual to pick it up, set it on silent, and put it out of your line of sight. I would even recommend that if you are meeting with one to three people and you want to let them know why you are doing that and/or want them to do the same, say out loud something like, “I am putting this away so I can focus on you.” Or, “Let me turn this off and put this away while we talk.” Or, “I want to focus on our conversation (or, this important meeting).”
d.    Don’t pull out the phone to check your messages at the end of the meeting if the people with          whom you are meeting are still in the room. Say good-bye, get out of their visual 
     and auditory field, and then check your messages. 


5. You only email or text; you don’t give face-to-face time to create trust. 
Nicole doesn’t really like one of her co-workers, Jess, and finds it easier if she insists that all their communication be by text. That way, she doesn’t have to hear Jess’s unwanted advice or demands, and she has a record of everything she has done for Jess or her reasons why it’s not her responsibility. 

Recent research by Gregory Northcraft, a professor in executive leadership at the University of Illinois, shows when projects are managed by way of detached, high-tech means rather than face-to-face, people will have less confidence that others will do what they say they’ll do. He says if your communication is mainly through email, coworkers will trust you less. Face-to-face contact yields the most trust and cooperation while e-mail nets the least, with videoconference interaction ranking somewhere in between. Your boss and coworkers need to be face-to- face to read the thousands of non-verbal cues that give them a read of you and help them decide the best way to interact with you. Nicole is not building a positive relationship with Jess. This, like our other examples here, is a real-life example. Guess what? Jess had the email trail as well, and Nicole’s boss was upset to learn that Nicole wasn’t taking the time to work with Jess but was, instead, making excuses and abdicating responsibility rather than doing her work and interacting positively with everyone on her team.

6. You are invisible; you keep your head down, don’t socialize and think your work speaks for itself. 
Karl was very good at his job. He came in early and left late, tried not to bother people during the day, and ate at his desk as he worked to be more productive.

You need to say hello or good-bye as you arrive or leave work. You also need to visit or socialize, speak up and contribute in meetings, ask for time to discuss projects face-to-face, go to lunch with your boss and team, and compliment others’ success or work effort. Again, face-to-face contact builds trust. A heavy workload can be lightened when you feel you’re working with others rather than avoiding others. Your boss is looking and listening for what you contribute to the group, so you need to participate and collaborate. If you don’t know what to say or are anxious about being correct in what you say, use a magic phrase to voice your thoughts such as, “Have we thought about…”, “Did anyone mention…,” or, “Another option we might want to consider is... .”

7. You are "Uber" brief and direct and focus on your needs first instead of considering the other person before you focus on yourself. 
Mark is a busy guy with a lot on his plate and feels he respects others’ time as well. He keeps his requests of others short and to-the-point. There’s no hello or talk about the weekend; just, “I need this by this time.” 

Everybody is different. Some bosses and coworkers want you to think about them and be a person before you make a request. Texts and emails make direct requests seem cold and demanding, and make you look like an egotistical jerk. Whether in a phone call, an email, or a text, ask about the recipient or make a statement about them before you talk about yourself or make a request. You don’t have to do this every time with people you contact every day, and you don’t have to be verbose. Just one or two sentences are fine; this creates rapport and puts credits in the relationship account. Those extra salutations and sentences show, non-verbally, that the person you are sending a message to matters and that you have thought about them as an individual. It also helps others recognize you, gives you a personality, and makes you stand out. Remember – you don’t want to be invisible!

8. You’re purposefully late when you could be on time. 
Reese was busy and thought the Friday morning meetings were ridiculous and a waste of her valuable time. She would come in when she was through with her important work, and would be very sociable, greeting people by the coffee pot as she grabbed a coffee from the back of the room and caught up with people sitting next to her. She loved how everyone looked up and noticed when she came in; it showed they knew she was an important, busy person.

There are people who are late because they are adrenaline junkies or time-challenged or are having problems in their personal lives, but there are also people who are late as a form of passive-aggressive control over those they make late. This person is saying by arriving late, “I am more important than you” and, “You must wait for me.”  There are no good reasons to constantly be late for work or work meetings.

9. You don’t respond to emails. 
Jim had way too much work to do and far too many people pestered him with unimportant things. He really didn’t have time for all those emails and sometimes he really didn’t know how to respond correctly. He paid attention to the important emails from clients, and thought if his coworker's issues were really important they would come and talk to him.

 If you don’t respond in any way to an email, people will make assumptions as to why. Remember: when you don’t give a reasonable behavior, people will guess why and those assumptions tend to be negative. If you put off answering or don’t respond, you could get yourself in trouble. At least say, “I will get back soon.” Or, “I read your email and I will be responding soon.” Otherwise, people think you just don’t care. 

10. You don’t think about others when you get dressed for work. 
Chris was planning to lose weight and didn’t want to waste money on clothes. He saw his coworkers wearing khakis and casual shirts and that’s what he wore; he just didn’t need them to fit perfectly, or be so expensive, or fresh-pressed, or non-faded. He made an extra hole in his belt with a screwdriver so it still worked, and his shoes were old but his pants covered them, for the most part. No customers ever saw him, so all in all, really, his clothes didn’t matter.

News flash! You don’t dress just for you. How you dress shows your respect – or lack of respect – for others. It is actually discourteous to dress inappropriately for work. Other studies show that 75% of Americans think a well-dressed man is more successful than his causal coworkers and more than one-fifth of men think they would make more money if they dressed better than they do.

If you’re a woman, not wearing makeup might not get you fired, but it could still hurt you. Here’s more about this bonus 11th point:

11. You’re a woman who does not wear makeup. 
Samantha had been promoted to manager of her team. She had never worn makeup; she preferred to look natural and, after all, who has that kind of time in the morning? 

Research shows people judge the beauty of a woman based on how much makeup she is wearing. Research quoted in the London Times said that, "64 percent of directors said that women who wore makeup looked more professional.” Women who wear makeup also rank higher in competence and trustworthiness, according to a study funded by Procter & Gamble, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston University, and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. A study in the American Economic Review said women who wear makeup can earn more than 30 percent more in pay than female employees who don’t wear makeup. Warning: don’t overdo it. Too much makeup can make it appear you are interested in dating and mating rather than your career.



Research says, Your Facebook-checking, constant-texting lifestyle may be taking a toll on your neck. Looking down at your phone can put a strain on your neck equivalent to the weight of 60 pounds, a study finds. To put that in perspective, 60 pounds is the weight of an 8-year-old or four bowling balls, the Atlantic reports. That's if you're leaning forward at a 60-degree angle; at 45 degrees, it's 49 pounds, while at 30 degrees, it's 40 pounds. Even at a 15-degree angle, you might as well be carrying 27 pounds of weight. That's because a human head weighs 10 to 12 pounds, and tilting it forward increases gravity's pull on it. All that tilting is, unsurprisingly, not good for your spine, researchers say after making their findings using a computer model of a spine. "These [cervical spine] stresses," they write, "may lead to early wear, tear, degeneration, and possibly surgeries." Their advice, per CBS News: "While it is nearly impossible to avoid the technologies that cause these issues, individuals should make an effort to look at their phones with a neutral spine and to avoid spending hours each day hunched over."


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.