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Body Language read of Jen & Justin




I love how she is has her pelvis angled towards him while tilting her head deeply to the side and her arm around his shoulder with her hand on her hip.The pelvis shows she is happy sexually, the deep tilt with her head almost on his shoulder shows tenderness and caring, the arm up and on his shoulder shows ownership and her hand on her hip shows her power. The cluster shows this really fascinating combination of he is what I want and who I care for but I don’t want to give up my power. I have read this photo before and I liked then.

He is excited like a little boy, he is bringing down his shoulders and the rest of his body slightly to take her shoulder and he has this impish smile that says, "Look at me with her isn't it great."
I would give it a high score for HER as I have read her for many years and she doesn't get mushy and this is a mushy shot. So I give it a 4.




He looks  tired and tense and his eyebrows and downwards eyelids show sadness. The odd thing about this photo is how tense and forced and stiff their facial expressions are. It looks like they just ate sour milk, so there is some suppressed sourness. I like how he is more relaxed into the duel arm pose than he was in the other photo. And her shoulder is relaxed into his. This photo could be misleading as the arm and shoulder placement is good but the faces disagree and could reflect how they feel towards the photographer. They are both trying to hold it together, but they are troubled by something. I would give this a 2.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Making a statement with a handbag used to involve spending lots of money

Making a statement with a handbag used to involve spending lots of money.
In these straitened times, however, it seems all you have to do is carry it in the right way.
A body language expert has analysed how women hold their handbags, and suggests there are ten distinctive styles which reveal volumes about their personalities.


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For example, while a woman who holds her handbag tightly under her arm in the ‘Armpit Vice’ may merely think she is freeing up her arms, the look also suggests awkwardness, according to American author Patti Wood.

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Younger women, she says, tend to go for ‘The Hands-Free’ look, wearing a bag draped across their body from one shoulder.
But, Miss Wood warns: ‘The girl who wears a hands-free bag willingly covers up her silhouette and outfit. It’s useful but it also shows you’re slightly dorky.’
Meanwhile ‘street-smart’ women are likely to adopt the protective ‘Thumb-to-Pit’ style, keeping their thumb firmly hooked around the bag’s handle in a look often sported by Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie in Sex And The City.
Few mere mortals, however, are likely to find themselves in the final category – the ‘I’ve Got A Bag Bitch’ look.
Usually reserved for royalty and, occasionally, Victoria Beckham, it involves not carrying a handbag at all, because you have an assistant – or boyfriend – to carry it for you.
‘When people feel the need to look fabulous all the time, they can’t be encumbered with anything,’ Miss Wood said.
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Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

What Does Alpha mean? Can anyone have Alpha Male Power? 10 Ways to Look and Feel More Alpha Power

What Does Alpha mean? Can anyone have Alpha Male Power? 
10 Ways to Look and Feel More Alpha.

The First letter of the Greek Alphabet Alpha in language is used to define someone’s position in social hierarchy. A specific example is "alpha males" or pack leaders. Pack Leaders say what they want and get what they want and they guide the team. Here what you need to look like and sound like to have Alpha Power. 

We all understand the idea of power in first impressions, because we've all experienced it. You walk up to somebody and shake hands and both of you notice who has the more powerful handshake. Alpha power in a handshake is based on factors such as who initiates first, who clasps hardest, uses the other hand to grip and or whose hand is on top etc. When we first meet someone we notice other power or alpha gaining behaviors such as who makes the  initial eye contact and who is staring intently rather than breaking eye contact first. From the first impression, we’re deciding who is going to have more power, who will be Alpha.

You may be thinking this jousting for power is only possible for men or only maintained by the  “Alpha male.” But you don’t have to be male or strong to be powerful.  The power first impression will tell you who is going to run things or whether you’re going to work as equals. But being “Alpha” is only part of power. When you are powerful and confident, anyone can change their nonverbal communication to feel and look more in command. If you do things like hold yourself up and out,  take up more space, and hold your  body windows open you can begin to feel Alpha.

I would be remiss if I did not admit that some things that generate a power impression are permanently set. Tall people are automatically given more power. Height and bulk get people more power and research shows that people with lower, deeper voices also are more apt to have power. If you don’t have these physical attributes, you have to work on it.

I’m a short (5’2”), blond woman. Early in life and career, I wasn’t seen as a credible information source even though I was an expert. I was the short blond girl. I wasn’t given attention, so I learned very early to do certain things. I made my body “bigger” by making my gestures large and sweeping outward,  and making my voice lower and louder and many other subtle cues. I learned very quickly that this helped people recognize that I was “alpha” in the situation. So they booked me as a speaker and consultant.

In the same way, I teach people who are already really tall or big how to soften their appearance. Sometimes the power can be so overwhelming that people back down, back away or don’t even interact. So we also have ways to soften the edge of intimidating power.

Alpha Power is Determined by:
1.       Who initiates contact or touches the other person first.
2.      Who gives a dominant greeting - Alpha power in a handshake is based on factors such as who initiates first, who clasps hardest, who uses the other hand to grip (The higher on the other persons arm the non- shaking hand goes the more power the Alpha power seeker gets. So if you take the extra hand and grip the shoulder of the other person you will gain power. You may look like a jerk, but you will gain power.) and or whose hand is on top and other factors.
3.      Who gives prolonged unblinking eye contact. Not creepy leering. Strong confident eye contact.
4.      Who speaks first. That is in normal interactions. In interactions like a sales person calling on a top level manager, the sales calls some powerful person MAKES the lower status person speak first or may show his or her power by waiting to speak.
5.      Who speaks the loudest – There are exceptions to this rule. Think Marlon Brando in the Godfather or Apocalypse.
6.      Who speaks the most. Again pausing after someone makes a request of you can give you some power, and good listeners can be incredibly powerful but in most interactions the higher status is assigned to the person who talks the most.
7.      Who interrupts the most – I hate that that is true, but that’s what the research says.
8.     Who invades the other person’s space and takes up the most space. invading and taking up the most space.
9.      Who takes the prominent seat –Look at my blog on the power seat or get my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma to get more information on the power seat.
10.  Who is comfortable breaking rules -Break the rules and  establish your own rules. Breaking rules like turn taking, or nonverbal rules like who talks first.

If you have read the Ten Ways to Be Alpha  you may also realize that if your not very careful they could become the ten ways to look like a jerk. 

Imagine a stranger going over the top with these behaviors. He gets up you your face and sticks out his hand, grips your hand savagely and doesn't let go, yells,"Hi ya," does not let go stares and talks loudly without letting your speak, takes your seat and doesn't let you are anyone one else have a turn speaking at the meeting.

 Now imagine you use the alpha cues instead to initiate a warm greeting, listen, but speak up as well as you have some small talk.
Choose a good seat. Take up space at your seat.  Make your ideas an opinions known and comment on others ideas enthusiastically. Linger at the end and visit some more and shake everyone's hand and or let them know what was great about them and or the meeting. 


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

8 Quick Ways to Feel More Energetic Without Drugs or Caffeine. How to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic.

8 Quick Ways to Feel More Energetic Without Drugs or Caffeine.
How to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic.

How you hold your body can actually change how you feel, in less than 1/40 of a second. If you hold and move your body the way you want to feel, your bodies' chemistry can change in a fraction of a second. Your posture and movement create a message that acts like a doctor’s prescription.  The message is sent through your neural  synapses to the brains pharmacy. The brain notes the posture and movements and creates chemicals that match and sends them out into your blood stream so you begin to feel chemically the way your body language is held or moves. If you drag around head down feeling tired you will get the chemicals that make you feel more tired. You think your body language reflects your fatigue and lack of energy but you can change your energy by how you hold and move your body. I have been writing about the biochemistry aspects for over 30 years. (In her Ted Talk, Amy Cuddly speaks about Power Poses using research about this phenomenon.)
Keep your body language “up.” Up energetic body language is beautifully symbolic–you go up when you’re feeling up. In addition up body language brings your posture up in a way that allows more deep full lung capacity breathing which gives you more oxygenated blood, thus more energy. Though the steps may seem wacky, if you are feeling sluggish and just want to lay down and take a nap, these methods can charge you up very quickly.





Eight Quick Ways to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic
  1. Take five deep full breaths.  Breathe in on a count of three, hold for three seconds and let your breath out slowly on the count of three. Make sure your lungs fill up fully.
  2.  Stand up and lift your chest up and out.
  3. Stand up against a wall and see if you can get your shoulders back against the wall. Pull the shoulders back  so even the tops of the shoulders touch the wall. Now step away from the wall and see if you can stand and walk with your shoulders back.  This posture enlarges the chest allowing the lungs to fill up with air giving your body more oxygen.
  4.   Bring your hands up and gesture high in the air. The location of your hands also affects other nonverbal behavior. Put your hands at your sides and your energy goes down, your voice lowers and can become more monotone, and you tend to move less and show fewer facial expressions. Bring your hands to the level of your waist, and you become calm and centered. Bring your hands up high to the level of your upper chest or above, and your voice goes up; you become animated.
  5. You can have fun for a second and pretend you’re a conductor leading an orchestra. Coincidentally, researches show conductors tend to live longer and they believe one of the reasons is their high gesturing that increases their oxygen. You can pretend like you have just won an Olympic competition and bring both hands up above your head and hold them there for three seconds, lower them then raise them again. You can dance to Pink’s song, “Raise Your Glass”, “YMCA” or Taylor Swifts, “Shake it Off.” All contain up gestures! (I just love the up shake it off body language at the end of Taylor Swifts Shake it Off video! The link to it is here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
  6. With a lot of energy and at a very loud volume read a paragraph from something, even these instructions. Overdo it have fun. Sing the lyrics to the songs in step 5.
  7. Make up facial expressions. First bring your eye brows and forehead muscles up and down and up again in a look of surprise. Now smile and open your mouth so your cheeks and the corners of your lips come up.
  8. Have you ever noticed how children skip and move up when they are happy and filled with energy? They are moving with up body language. See if you can walk across a room with the same upward energy. You don’t have to skip just move so that your energy is up.

Try any of these postures and movements anytime to recharge your batteries and feel UP with energy. Your gestures move up, your head comes up, your chest goes up and your shoulders come back and up, your step is upwards. 

I am a researcher, and writer on nonverbal communication and hold degrees with an emphasis in nonverbal communication.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Link to 8 Ways You're Telling Your Boss, "You Don't Want To Be Here"



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.