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Ways to Be a Better Nicer Person


By Patti Wood Author of Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body language and Charisma

There is no greater gift to give to someone than your interest. Here are Great Tips to Be a Better Person.

Give a Compliment

Why it works. If a compliment is gently given and very specific it makes a person feel seen. They light up and open up to you, the person that has made them feel so good. Ideally find something very specific to compliment. Otherwise, the person may feel that you have a general compliment ready to give to any person you see coming down the street.  You can say something about their appearance, “I like the leather on your shoes, or I like the design on your shirt, or “I like the way your smile lights up the room." Be specific for example instead of just saying, "Susan that was an excellent meal” after that say, “That was so good, I could eat the rest of the pot with a spoon." or “That brownie dessert you made was melt in your mouth tell your momma good,” “I loved how you made it so pretty on the plate, you’re a real artist.”

Ask a Question

You can start with a simple, “Hello my name is ….and what do you do for fun?” Then listen, resisting the urge to jump in and talk about yourself. The information they share about themselves and their problem can help you determine how you can best serve them and thus help you craft what you will say in your elevator conversation.

Lean in Close and Flirt with the World

My mom never meets a stranger. I remember when my mom and I would go into Walgreen’s soda fountain for a BLT after a day of shopping. My mom would sit down with a big smile, and the waitress would walk up and my mom would turn to her and lean in close as if she had known that waitress all her life and start talking. But most of all she would start listening. She would look that waitress in the eye, nod her head and keep saying say "uh-huh," and by the end of the meal she would leave the place knowing the waitress’s name and the names of her children. She did this everywhere she went and she still does it. She flirts with the world, and everybody loves it. 

Ask more questions and listen some more

This back and forth flow gives you rapport with the other person. Years ago I strained my voice singing in a community theater production of Godspell. It hurt to talk so I began asking questions as I met people instead of spouting off what I did. I am a communication consultant so I asked questions like, “What’s going on in your organization? “How’s the communication in your company?” “What are you doing to deal with your communication issues?” It’s amazing what I learned and how much business I got from people I barely said a word to. Because I listened to their problems, they believed (and rightly so) I could solve their problems. You might be memorable to a stranger because of what they said about themselves in your presence. Be memorable for what you don’t say.

Turn off technology or Don’t Answer It or get off of it when people are present 

We have become so accustomed to answering the phone and looking at our computers, leaving our hands on the keyboards when someone comes into our offices to talk and leaving our cell phones in our hands and talking on them in public that we forget how rude all those things are. When you are standing in the checkout line, talk to the cashier and the people in line. Be present. If you are out with someone, try turning off your cell phone and say out loud, “Let me turn this off while we talk.” It’s amazing what a difference it will make in the impression you give because so few people take the time to be that polite. I suggest that when you are going into an important meeting, especially one where you will be presenting, you remove any visible technology. Hide your cell phone and PDA, rather than wearing them on your waist. When you have them in view, you’re saying nonverbally that someone else is more important and could interrupt you at any time.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Top Ten Classic Comedies Patti’s Funniest Classic Films


DINNER AT EIGHT (1933) the “talkies” grew up with this adaptation of a Broadway hit by George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber. Under George Cukor’s canny direction John and Lionel Barrymore, sex goddess Jean Harlow, and comedians Marie Dressler and Wallace Beery enliven the sophisticated dialogue, revolving around the lives of financial predators, actors on the rocks, hatcheck girls on the way up and millionaires on the way down, all set against the background of a glittering Manhattan dinner party.
THE THIN MAN (1934) William Powell and Myrna Loy play Dashiell Hammett’s married sleuths, Nick and Nora Charles. Notorious wisecrackers and party-goers (the film was shot during Prohibition), the Charleses solve mysteries between drinks: Nora: “What hit me?” Nick: “The last martini.” The pair had such on-screen chemistry they went on to play in 13 other movies, including five more Nick and Noras, but none equals this one. Directed with panache by W. S. Van Dyke, and augmented by Asta, a dog with almost as much appeal as his owners.
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934) A cynical newspaperman (Clark Gable) and a pampered heiress (Claudette Colbert) collide on an overcrowded bus headed from Miami to New York. It’s hate at first sight as they share the last remaining seat. “Remember me?” Gable demands the next morning. “I’m the fellow you slept on last night.” Predictably they fall in love, but not before a series of tight situations and colorful arguments. Director Frank Capra’s screwball comedy remains fresh after six decades.
MY MAN GODFREY (1936) A spoiled-rotten heiress (Carole Lombard) hires a shabby-looking bum (William Powell) and learns about life. Many a subsequent comedy was influenced by Gregory La Cava’s rambunctious screwball farce.
THE AWFUL TRUTH (1937) Director Leo McCarey had a lot of help from Cary Grant and Irene Dunne. But this story of a divorced couple who try to ruin each other’s new romances owes its accelerated pace and high polish to him. Ralph Bellamy and Mary Forbes supply the straight lines.
HOLIDAY (1938) Cary Grant is engaged to the daughter of a wealthy industrialist. Trouble is, she and her father expect him to become a faceless bureaucrat, and the young man is far too lively for that. Only one person in the family understands him–his fiancĂ©e’s younger sister, Katharine Hepburn. A wise and sparkling Philip Barry script, enlivened by two performers at their peak. Lew Ayres was notable as Hepburn’s hapless brother. Another George Cukor triumph, often overlooked.
ADAM’S RIB (1949) Of the nine films Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn made together, none tops this pairing. They play married lawyers who represent opposite sides in a divorce case–thereby giving scenarists Ruth Gordon and Garson Kanin opportunities to provide the stars with effective salvos in this stylish battle of the sexes. Judy Holliday and Tom Ewell co-star as the pair in Splitsville.
FATHER OF THE BRIDE (1950) Spencer Tracy takes the title role in this family comedy, and shows how to take an everyday event and make it into art. The bride is Elizabeth Taylor at her most radiant; the groom is Don Taylor at his most self-effacing. Billie Burke and Leo G. Carroll are relatively hilarious. Vincente Minnelli directed.
BORN YESTERDAY (1951) Garson Kanin’s famous play about an uncouth racketeer (Broderick Crawford) who hires a tutor (William Holden) for his girlfriend (Judy Holliday). Naturally, teacher and pupil fall in love. With George Cukor at the helm, everything–eventually–goes right.
SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952) It’s the end of the 1920s, and the beginning of the end for silent movies. All very well for the mellifluous Gene Kelly, not so good for the adenoidal Jean Hagen. Young Debbie Reynolds is hired to supply the diva’s offscreen voice, and thereby hangs the tale of the funniest musical ever made. Donald O’Connor’s “Make ‘Em Laugh” is a gem; Kelly’s title song became his trademark. Adolf Green and Betty Comden wrote the knowing scenario; Stanley Donen, a former hoofer, directed nimbly.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Jessica and Eric






Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Why Technology is Stressing Us Out? Technology and the Brain.

Why Technology is Stressing Us Out? Technology and the Brain

I was speaking at a private school this week and the teacher updated me on some of the latest research on the brain being done at Emory University. It is very interesting so stick with it.

  1. The pruning of (reduction) neural pathways in the brain when we are young is based on how we use our brain. The brain prunes pathways we don’t use and keeps the neural pathways we use the most.
  2. The ones laid down when we are highly focused on activities like reading a book or having a deep conversation are deeper and have more capacity like wide superhighways. They can handle more  information overload when we are under stress like a highway can handle more cars in commute time than a surface road.
  3. The  neural pathways laid down for the quick shallow decisions we make when we are on technology such as, “I want this email I don’t want this one.” “I want this website in my Google search I don’t want that one.” are shallow and thin pathways that actually break apart under stress because of their low capacity, like a bridge could collapse if to many cars and trucks are on it at the same time. This is kind neural pathways that young people are forming the most.
  4. If we don’t have focused attention and deep social bonds and therefore only have the shallow, narrow, neural pathways formed with our use of technology we have trouble handling stress. We may feel overwhelmed and helpless and unable to make a decision. We may have panic attacks, freeze in place, get sick or call our mommies for help. Any one that uses technology a lot can form more shallow narrow pathways and therefore have less ability to think and function under stress.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Funny Christmas Card Quotes

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. 
~Larry Wilde

Decorate your homes with lots of mistletoe... this won't really help the environment... But more kissing has got to be good for world peace. 
~Arlo Guthrie

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
~Anonymous

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
~Jay Leno

"Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... "
~Berke Breathed

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
~Tom Armstrong

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
~Victor Borge

You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
~Robert Paul

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.
~Dave Barry

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!
~Charles Dickens, in A Christmas Carol

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
~Joan Rivers

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
~Anonymous

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.