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Seating Positions - Where You Sit Can Change Your Power and Status

Seating Positions - Where You Sit Can Change Your
Power and Status

Where did you sit at the family dinner table? Where did you sit in the car with your family? Did you argue with your siblings? Were you the peacemaker? It makes sense that your communication ability would be effected by the way you interacted in your first 18 years. Participants in my training workshops are often stunned by the effect of their seating positions on their office interactions. Here are some insights.



A friend asked me recently about where we sit as a family when we’re around the dinner table. She was keen to know whether we had fixed seats and, if so, what dynamic this engendered between different family members, particularly our three children.
I thought about it for a while and realised that, yes, we all occupied the same position each night: my partner and I at opposite ends, and the kids along the middle. To her question about dynamics, I guess our arrangement was, in some way, reinforcing a particular pattern of behaviour. Certainly, when it came to eye contact, we were all seeing each other from the same angle, each night.
We’ve since updated our approach and now try to sit in different spots on some evenings. It’s the right move because, although familiarity is crucial for a family unit (particularly when children are very young), it’s more important as they get older to be flexible. To encourage different situations that challenge them emotionally and stimulate their sense of adventure.
Interaction between siblings is a fascinating business to observe for any parent, not just those of us who are also psychologists. And there was, I thought, no better place to watch this phenomenon unfold than around the dinner table.
That was until I started working with Škoda to promote its family model, the Octavia. New research has been released today about the impact of different car positions and how they impact children in later life.
As many families hit the roads this bank holiday weekend, parents will be confronted with the age-old dilemma of how to keep their brood occupied and behaving on long journeys. For those with more than two offspring, there’s also the added issue of who sits where.

Similar to the dinner table conundrum, careful selection is required. Car booster chairs may mean that one window seat is immediately taken by the youngest child, and a history of travel sickness or a headstrong eldest sibling may take care of the other. But what becomes of the “unfortunate” individual that ends up in the middle? Are they destined for a life of always having to compromise?
Not so, according to the research. These young folk should count themselves lucky for being a middle seat kid. In fact, in the survey of over 1,000 people (now grown up) with two siblings or more, 90% of those at a director level position at work sat in the middle on family car journeys. Even more tellingly, four fifths of these respondents believe that sitting between brothers and sisters directly contributed to their professional success.*
The reality of these numbers really strikes home for me, as I can see the requisite characteristics for business achievement emerging in my own children. You see, we now not only rotate our dining positions, but our motoring ones too. They take turns in different formations in the back of the car.
Why? Because I believe it will make them more accommodating of other people, more in tune with others’ wants and needs and, ultimately, it will give them a heightened level of emotional intelligence. This belief has now been ratified through the research, as middle seat kids are shown to be reasonable, patient, level-headed and adaptable.
Of course, there’s an argument that successful business people need to be self-centred, driven and unwavering in the pursuit of achieving their goals. But we’ve all worked with people who possessed these traits, yet were unable to get the best out of the people that worked beneath them. True success is about choosing a destination and taking your colleagues with you on the journey to get there.
My advice is to keep mixing things up – rotate, as we do, the positions the kids occupy. Those in window seats may get caught up in the outside world, but the one between them will be all ears for conversation. Encourage this however you can. Ask questions, play games, tell jokes. Trust me, you’ll reap the rewards and, further down the line, they will too.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

This Is What Your Sleep Position Says About You

This Is What Your Sleep Position Says About You








Hallie Gould







Just like your dreams, your sleep position is often subconscious. As such, the way you’re most comfortable sleeping tells a lot about your personality. Do you love to spread out? Curl up? Do you sleep differently each night? It all has a hidden meaning. To uncover the explanations, I tapped body language expert Patti Wood and she described very different, very specific character traits for each. What’s more, your sleep position also corresponds with your DiSC, a personality assessment tool that centers on four different behavioral traits: dominance, influence, steadiness, and compliance. We chatted about those too.
Intrigued? Keep scrolling to find out what your sleep position really means.
Actual article link:
http://www.byrdie.com/best-way-to-sleep

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Russian tennis player Maria Sharapova on Doping, Is She Llying? Did She Know.

Body Language Read of the Apology Statement Deception of Russian tennis player Maria Sharapova to make ‘major announcement’ Yes, she is lying.


She takes long confident steps to the lectern (not podium as that is what someone stands on.) Her head comes down slightly and she turns her head and body away from the audience and she does a small self-comforting rock back and forth as she faces the lectern. This combination of spontaneous, unplanned cues shows that initially she wanted to look confident and righteous, but is overcome by the event.  

The unfolding of her notes on the piece of paper looked very staged oddly staged to look offhand as if there was not an entire team of people telling her how to respond to this discovery. But the way she rested her folded hands for a moment and then looked up shyly and talked in a low tone of voice, again looked, at this point, more planned and rehearsed to look humble and contrite. She touches her hair and throws her hair back in a nervous way showing a concern about how she looks to the audience.

When she says, “I received a notice that I had failed a drug test …” her mouth becomes dry and she struggles to say it as she is still shocked. Interesting that when she says, “I did fail the test and I take full responsibility for it”  her volume goes up significantly and she says in clipped way, “I take FULL..” then her volume goes down and she tries to swallow in the words and speeds up the message as she says, “…for responsibility for it.” She wanted to sound like she is taking responsibility but the end of her sentence and her head down not looking at the camera shows she clearly does NOT. It’s not shame, her posture is erect and she merely does not fully own her apology.

As she says, “…given by my doctor, my family doctor.” Look how her left arm is folded and wrapped around her right to form a castle wall of protection from her stomach. This is an absolutely understandable comfort cue.  The wording with the cues is interesting, the doctor gave her the medication. She does not say, her doctor prescribed it or that she took it, but puts the "owness" on him for “giving it to her.” Odd that she never “Googled” it. As she would have seen a few lines down in the description its performance enhancing effects as she said, “it also has a name of meldonium,” she says, “I did not know.” Though the drug she was taking has many side effects and she would have had to be informed of them and she was taking it for 10 years.

Her message choice also seems off when she says, “She was given the medication for health issues that she WAS having in 2006...” as she was still taking the medication 10 years later. When the wording is as odd and as carefully worded that it gives a strong indication of message manipulated to deceive.

She smiles as she says, “I don’t want to end my career this way.” Since this is the first time she gives a true smile and the way her eyes flirt and dance and her head moves as she says it I don’t believe it is a nervous smile… I think she believes she still has a career that she is too big to suffer this loss. This humor and playfulness continues as she says, “I know many of you thought that I would be announcing my retirement.” She actually smiles and tilts her head and flirts again as if she is thinking, “Ha, I fooled you, and I have the upper hand here.” And continues as she makes a joke about the, “fairly ugly carpet.” As a media coach, I was appalled that she chose to be playful and make a rude comment when she has cheated other honest athletes who worked very hard and made sacrifices for their sport.

From her delivery and word choice I think she knew exactly what she was doing and she thinks she will win out over this discovery.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Facial Recognition Team Building Exercise For Children

Research indicated that children who show their emotions clearly and can decode the emotions from other people’s facial expressions are the more popular and tend to have higher grades.

Here is a classroom exercise to help children learn body language skills. 

Facial Recognition Team Building Exercise

Have the children sit in a circle and take turns having the other children guess what their facial expression means.

Another way to teach facial expression of emotion is to use facial expression cards or photos of children and adult facial expressions. If you search for facial expressions of emotions you will find many examples of Dr. Paul Eckmans Basic six emotions.  

Put the children in teams of three and have them number a piece of paper from one to six. Show the photo of the faces with the Basic six emotions. Have them work as a team to guess the correct emotion for each face. Then go through the facial expressions with the whole group and see who got the most right answers. Prepare so you can point out each part of the face and each cue that leads to the correct interpretation of emotion. You can refer to Dr. Paul Ekman’s work for accurate description and photos.

As homework ask them to ask their family to play “guess the emotion” at the family dinner table. Family members can "put on" a pretend emotion on their face and have the family guess what it is.

Another layer class exercise option is to play a documentary and freeze frame on faces and have the class guess the emotion.  


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to Dress and Choose the Best Make Up and Hair Style for a First Date

How to Dress and Choose the Best
Make Up and Hair Style for a First Date

First dates can be stressful. You want to look good, but you don't want to look like you spent the last 4 hours getting ready.  Here are some suggestions from a body language expert.
Here are tips and rules from how to do your make-up to choose your clothes and accessories that will make you look amazing without the overkill of an overly made up look. Think light, loose, and fresh in all your choices.

When you style your hair give it lift, body and shine. You want to keep your hair flowing and or touchable. Flowing loose hair is seen by men as sexy.

Don’t use hair spray, jell or products that make your hair look stiff or Helmut headed. If you have the right kind of hair do this trick -  flip your head over and brush downwards a few times and then flip your head back and toss your head a few times to make your hair look loose and free.

As tempting as it is to wear something tight and revealing, it can make you like you are trying too hard. A trick is to have only one item that would draw significant attention or draw a compliment.  If one item of clothing is a bit revealing like a short skirt, wear it with a top that isn’t revealing and vice versa.  Instead wear something that fits you well, as in the right size and or well-tailored.  

One way of looking extra fresh is to have one item of clothing that flows and is loose with one well-tailored or crisp well ironed item of clothing. The new Bohemian style also looks relaxed and young. Look for Lucky brand and Free People, or if they are too pricey, look at those brands and find something like it at Target or TJ Max or Marshals.

Jewelry and accessories like scarfs and hats and belts and showy shoes, should be thought of as each having a point value. For example, you would give a big chunky necklace 3 points so you would pair it with one point earrings.  You would give a high heeled showy color shoe three points so you would have less jewelry with low point. If you have big dangly earrings you would not wear a big necklace and a big shiny metallic or studded purse. Look in a long mirror before you leave your house and total the points and remove or tone down for a first date.

Make up- the recent trend in makeup is matt finish with very little color and heavy brows and liner. That’s great on a teenager but does not look fresh on anyone over 30.  A general rule for not overdone is choose one feature to stand out eye brow, eye shadow, eyeliner, lip, or cheek. So only one of those can be heavy or intense color so not to look overdone.
A makeup trick that is not the current make up trend, but does look fresh and dewy and not heavily made up is to use just bit of illuminator down the middle of the nose and on the cheekbones and a touch on the forehead. L’Oréal Magic illuminator, NYK liquid illuminator, Stashbox photo finish under eye primer all work well. A fresh illuminating blush is NARs illuminator in a color called ORASAM.
Another general rule is not to wear a dark lipstick on a first date, instead put a bit of shine on the center of the bottom lip with a gooey lip gloss.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.