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So What Are Some Signs That The Person You're Dating Actually Has Antisocial Personality Disorder? How Can You Tell You Are Dating A Jerk Or Narcissist Or Sociopath?

Below is information on a Pod cast series I was interviewed on about this topic. My podcast interview airs tomorrow!
 April 21, 2016


How to tell if you are dating someone that is not safe? How can you tell you are dating a jerk, a narcissist or sociopath? We are hard-wired to pick up on credibility. The first impression in the basic survival instinct asks, "Can I trust this person?  Can I feel safe in his or her presence? Is he or she going to pull a knife out? No, I can believe what I'm seeing as the real thing." Credibility is vital and primary. Knowing what it feels like to be with a healthy person helps you know when you are with someone who is unhealthy and treating you or has the potential to treat you in unhealthy ways.


I do an interesting exercise with my body language speech and workshop audiences. I say, “I’d like you to think about a person in your life who you think is the most credible person you know. There is something about them that makes you feel absolutely safe in their presence. You can believe them. What is it about them that makes you feel that way? What kind of behavior do they demonstrate? What do they say? Are there things they do with their hands, their body that makes you tell yourself, “This person has integrity”?
Think about this person you just described as your "True North."  A person of Credibility. If you have a" True North" in your life, it becomes easier to recognize what it's like to be in the presence of someone who truly demonstrates credibility.  You know if it feels safe and it is typically energizing rather than draining because you are not in your Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint stress response to danger. (Romantically that doesn’t mean you don’t feel excited, it just means under that excitement you should feel safe.)

Tension- So if you are with someone and you feel tense, uneasy, off balance, over charged, you don’t laugh fully only stress laugh and they DON”T PICK UP ON your discomfort and make you feel at ease that is a sign you are with an unhealthy person.
A sociopath may pick up on your stress and call you on it and make you feel wrong or bad for feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps saying something like, “Hey you shouldn’t be so tense.”  A healthy person wants you to feel good and safe and will want to know what they can do to make you feel comfortable. An unhealthy person may get “Charged” by making you uncomfortable. (See the study below.)

Teasing - An unhealthy person may even make fun of or push to make your discomfort increase. That is not to say that healthy teasing and play aren’t good and a fun part of healthy dating and relationships but, healthy teasing makes you feel good. You don’t feel anxious or ill at ease and constantly wonder what is wrong when you are in the presence of a healthy person.

Pushing and making you wrong - Unhealthy people will keep pushing and if they do try to comfort the comfort may feel slick, artificial, on the surface or insincere. The comfort will NOT comfort you. And let me repeat an unhealthy person makes you feel that you are unhealthy or that you may be doing something wrong. Healthy people don’t keep pushing!

High-Testosterone People Feel Rewarded By Others' Anger, New Study Finds
ScienceDaily (May 12, 2007) — Most people don't appreciate an angry look, but a new University of Michigan psychology study found that some people find angry expressions so rewarding that they will readily learn ways to encourage them.

"It's kind of striking that an angry facial expression is consciously valued as a very negative signal by almost everyone, yet at a non-conscious level can be like a tasty morsel that some people will vigorously work for," said Oliver Schultheiss, co-author of the study and a U-M associate professor of psychology.

The findings may explain why some people like to tease each other so much, he added. "Perhaps teasers are reinforced by that fleeting 'annoyed look' on someone else's face and therefore will continue to heckle that person to get that look again and again," he said. "As long as it does not stay there for long, it's not perceived as a threat, but as a reward."


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How Hitler Handled Prison

How Hitler Handled Prison

Though, at first, Hitler was suicidal in prison he later capitalized on his prison stay. Below is an article from NPR on Hitler.


I have written about Hitler in my blog.  Below are some links to the blog posts:













Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Smiling Makes You Live Longer - How Much Longer Do Smilers Live?

Smiling Makes You Live Longer –
How Much Longer Do Smilers Live?

Smiling Makes You Live Longer - How Much Longer Do Smilers Live?
I have done extensive research on smiling as the National Spokesperson for the Natural Dentist toothpaste and mouthwash.

Check out some of my articles on Smiling below:




People who frequently flash large smiles live an extra seven to ten years, on average, according to Wayne State University research in the journal Psychological Science. In the study they looked at 230 pictures of major league baseball players from 1952. They found that the biggest grinners lived to an average of 79.9 years, while their straight-faced peers reached just 72.9 years on average.

A study from London University College stated that happy, cheerful people are 35% more likely to live longer. Smiling lowers the heart rate and reduces blood pressure, while relaxing your body. Researchers from Wayne State University, Michigan.
Boosts the immune system - While smiling, your body relaxes and so your immune system reacts more quickly and effectively against invaders. The Department of Clinical Immunology at Loma Linda University School of Medicine found that, when smiling, the serum cortisol levels (stress level) decrease and, instead, the number of white blood cells and natural killer cells increases. So if you want to fight off a nasty cold in the future, forget going to the pharmacy. Just smile!


It’s a natural beauty enhancer
They say the best make-up a woman can wear is her smile. People who smile seem more approachable and, thus, more charming to the opposite sex. A study from 1985 examined how men approached women in bars: when a woman made eye-contact she was 20% approachable, while adding a smile made her 60% more accessible. It also makes you look an average of 3 years younger. The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear youthful. No more cosmetic surgeries for you.
It’s a natural pain killer
It has been proven that smiling is a natural drug. Researches from Oxford University found that it can act as a pain reliever, as it releases endorphins and serotonin. Also, chuckling helps increase pain threshold. You can get high on a smile.
It relieves stress
Is there a deadline right around the corner or house work catching up on you? Forget about it and smile. It’s the best way to reduce stress caused by an upsetting situation. Even if you don’t feel like it, forcing a smile is still enough to lift your mood. What happens is that it sends signals to your brain and tricks it into thinking you’re actually feeling good. Also, if you don’t smile you’ll feel bad afterwards. In one study people were asked to remain stony-faced after hearing someone else’s good news. They felt bad afterwards and thought the other person would think worse of them as a result. Turn that frown upside down and brighten up your day!
It’s contagious
If you want to make someone feel better make them smile. Or better yet, smile at them! Half of the people will send you one back. Researches at Uppsala University conducted a study where they had volunteers look at pictures of expressionless, happy or angry faces and in return adopt one of those expressions. When they had to meet a smile with a frown or the other way around they had trouble doing so. The twitching in their faces that was measured with electronic equipment showed that they had no control over their muscles. That’s why it’s hard to be sad when the people around you are laughing or happy when everyone is depressed.

It’s the way to success
Smiling can help you make more money and move up career wise. It makes you appear confident, professional and self-assured. Those who smile at their colleagues and customers are more likely to get promoted, be approached with business ideas or get a raise. Studies have shown that people who smile seem more trustworthy, are rated higher in generosity and extraversion. Don’t forget to take your smile with you everywhere you go!
Smile and the whole world will smile with you – now we really understand what they meant by that. Keep your smile with you so you can live a happy life. 

So put on a happy face every chance you get!



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How Do You Build Body Confidence And Self-Esteem In Your Children?

How do you help your children feel good about their body image, their weight and their overall attractiveness? How do you build body confidence and self-esteem?


I am a body language expert and have done research in body language, body image and self-esteem.

One of my favorite tips to model good self-esteem is by the way you interact with a mirror. Every time you look in the mirror smile and say something positive out loud. Do this in front of your children and encourage them to do so as well. We typically tense up and make ugly faces and say negative things in the mirror or spend time looking in the mirror making ourselves look better on the surface through grooming.

So look into the mirror and say, “you are great” or “you have tremendous energy” or “you are brave.” This a new and healthy way of reflecting your beauty.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Bullying Body Language 11 Bullying Body Language Cues That Red Flag Someone As A Bully Before They Even Open Their Mouth

Bullying Body Language
11 Bullying Body Language Cues That Red Flag Someone As A Bully
Before They Even Open Their Mouth

We talk about bulling statements, but what are the nonverbal cues that they may be “bullying.” Overall you see tightening of muscles, forward movement, and expansive movement or sounds.

Here are specific cues of bulling and aggression:

Let’s start with the top of the body and move down to the feet.

1. The Head Jut -The head juts forward. It is one of the “I can take you, I dare you to go against me moves.”  The chin moves first and may go upward in defiance and then the head goes forward. There may be one jut or a repeated boxing ring head dance motions.

2. The Head Butt- The chin goes down, the top of the head moves forward like a football player head butt move. It may be a single motion but it may be repeated in a taunting way.

3. Teeth Barring- Barring the teeth lifting the upper lip and pushing the teeth forward so that the upper and lower teeth show. This is attack body language. It’s a signal that the person could bite you and that he has the big bad wolf teeth to do so.

Tension in the mouth and jaw and overall tightening of the lips clenching of the teeth typically signal tension. That tension can be motivated by fear or anger.

4. Mouth Fist- Holding the mouth tightly shut and pulling the lips tightly back and downwards and the head going forward and a glare in the eyes, make the mouth fist fearful to others. I call this a mouth fist because when somebody uses it, they typically want to bring their hand into a fist and propel it forward and they may use it in combination with fisted hands. If the person is feeling fear rather than intending to be fearsome you will see quivering or downward gazing or tearful eyes afraid. The lips are actually protecting the teeth in this mouth cue.

5. Chest Bump or Chest Pump- In this bump, there is a springing your chest out, up and forward to pretend or fully ram another person’s chest.  In the Chest pump the person’s chest seems to pump up with air like a Rooster and is held up and out and forward.   

Moving the arms and hands away from the body may be a signal of the desire to fight or threaten.

6. Weapon Gestures- Clinched fists are obvious weapons, but there are also symbolic weapon gestures such as Pointing, Jabbing, and Stabbing, Slicing the hand through the air in sword like motions, striking out and or forward in stop or pushing motions.

7. Object Aggression- Holding and motioning with an object, throwing an object, or hitting or kicking an object. If you see these cues, I recommend you leave the area as soon as you safely can.

8. Cowboy Stance- Bringing the legs apart further than 14 to 16 inches apart combined with hands on the hips gives a “John Wayne cowboy stance” showing ready to fight pose. This human Silhouette is read by the brain as danger and this expanded feet and sharp angled elbows out motion is threatening.

Enlarging the stance or taking up more space are also signs of aggression.

9. Space Invasion - Stepping or walking forward or even sideways pacing movements are all ways of taking up and invading space.

10. Prey Circling – Circling the person you are speaking to or coming up in their space. Real threat of attack occurs when inside their intimate zone of space which is getting closer than 12 inches from them.
11. Vocal Intimidation – Raising the volume of the voice, lowering the voice, speeding up or slowing down, punching certain words or growling, yelling and making your voice significantly louder than the other person or people that you are with.  Some people do this simply to command attention or get a turn to talk but to do it over and over again is a bullying paralanguage behavior.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.