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https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/12/18/trump-impeachment-top-moments-historical-day/2687768001/Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How to Give End of the Year Feedback and Why You Should Make Sure Your Boss Knows Your Value Before That End of the Year Review.

How to Give End of the Year Feedback – Motivation and Change, or Pain and Why You Should Make Sure Your Boss Knows Your Value Before That End of the Year Review.

 A few years ago, I received a strange end-of-the-year feedback email from a long-term client that was the antithesis of everything I ever taught about how to give feedback to your clients, vendors, and employees. At first, I was excited to receive an end-of-year email from this client; I was expecting a heartfelt thank you, some praise, and a “Happy New Year!” For more than 20 years, I had been this company's highest-rated contracted speaker. I had designed and conducted hundreds of programs for their wonderful audiences and gotten rave reviews.. 

This year, however, the tone of the email was surprising. It was not written to me personally — a contracted consultant — but seemed to be addressed to an anonymous problematic part-time employee. I was shocked.

The client contact I had for many years was a friend, but she had retired. This email came from my new contact. I had tried to get to know this new contact, especially since she had never seen me give a presentation and her office was in another state, but I didn’t try hard enough. That was a big mistake on my part.

 Since she was based in another state, I tried to set up an introductory visit via the phone, but she emailed me to say that she is “not a phone person.” When I communicated via email, she would only respond in formal one-sentence replies. After my programs, she would only email me a computer-generated form with ratings and critiques from my audiences. The reviews were always excellent, and I always got 5 out of 5 from my audience members. When she sent the emails, I always emailed back a few personal comments and said thank you, expecting tht she would know about my outstanding ratings.

 So, when I got this end-of-the-year review, I was expecting it to be like the communications I used to get from my previous contact: "Thank you for all your years of rave reviews."

That is not what I got. Instead of personalized feedback, I received a form letter, one she sent to all her contract speakers nationwide. It said that she had reviewed the feedback of all their speakers from all the audiences for the year and found two top COMPLAINTS. Then, she listed them.

 However, neither of the complaints came from my classes. They were not my audiences’ responses or reviews. This negative feedback had nothing to do with me or anything I could control or change in any way. And I am sure it was publicly humiliating to the speakers she called out. In addition, there no general positive feedback, no supportive or motivational comments to any of us. And let me emphasize again, no personalized feedback saying she recognized my worth — or anyone else’s. 

 I am sure this email checked off a box on her list of corporate end-of-year to dos, but it was, at best, de-motivational. I saw this as a wake-up call about what I had done wrong in my interactions with my client. And it will forever be an example I will use in my Performance Appraisal How-to-Give-Effective-Feedback Workshops for what NOT to do. 

First, I examined what I had done wrong as a contractor/employee. I hadn't said, "I know you prefer not to use the phone, but I’d like to give you a brief five-minute call after I get my email feedback so we can go over it." I teach the importance of check-ins. I had done them for years with my previous contact. But I hadn't pushed for that, and that was my mistake. I expected my work to speak for itself, and it hadn't. My rave reviews were invisible to my new contact, and I had not made them visible, nor had I touted the value I brought to the organization. That wasn't smart. I had also not done anything to let leadership above my direct contact know that I was an asset.

If you have superiors, are you making sure they see your work and value? As a leader, do you know the best way to communicate feedback?

Here are some highlights from my feedback program:

 1)   No surprises, and most importantly, no bad feedback that you have been saving up and now feel pressured to give it out at the end of the year. Negative feedback should be given immediately after the negative behavior has occurred. Ideally, it should be given face-to-face over zoom or the phone. You can follow my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method and book me for coaching and/or a workshop on how to do this effectively. If you still feel the need to give negative feedback via email, pause and call me first. Let’s talk through the situation. No charge. Just call me!

2) Be specific, positive, and personal in your feedback. What did the recipient of your feedback do, be specific? How many times did they do it? Who did their positive behavior affect, and what was the positive, concrete result of their positive action? I lay this all out with examples in my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method. If you want to run it by me, you can email me, and I will help you because it's important to do this well.

3) End your message with an extra thank you—ideally, something from the heart. Even if you're a left-brain, just-the-facts type of person, you should do this.

The email I got years ago was a wake-up call for me.

I hope it inspires you to do two things: make sure you have a good relationship with your clients, bosses, and managers. Make sure they know how you are doing and how valuable you are.

Second, if you are a leader, do your best to have good relationships with your employees. Make sure you know what they are doing and how they are doing. Give them effective, specific praise and criticism to support and motivate them.

If you're reading this article in my newsletter, I have more than likely met you and shaken your hand, and I hope you know how valuable you are!



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language of Friendship

It’s a delight to read the body language of friendship in the AMA (American Music) award winning best group 2019 for the media!


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Greatest Fear of a Narcissist , Trump's Public Humiliation

The Greatest Fear of a Narcissist  
A narcissist’s greatest fear is public humiliation. How others see them is everything to them. On the surface, they feel that they are superior to others and have little or no regard for others and their feelings. But they have a deep endless need for attention and admiration a need called “Narcissistic Supply.” If they can’t get positive attention, they will act out to get any supply. The narcissists eggshell fragile ego is the only protection from falling in the abyss. If it is pricked or broken by public humiliation, if they are laughed at or lose the respect of others it is devastating, and they will respond in ways that seem drastically out of proportion with what happened


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle’s Body Language In South Africa Will Have You Cheering


Here is just one of Patti's body language insights of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle for Elite Daily.  You can read more at the link below.

"They are standing in an overlapped position, and they are looking at the same spot to share a moment nonverbally," observes Wood. "I just love how often he points at something for her to enjoy with him. He looks for the fun, and she laughs and smiles with him every time." It's so heartwarming to see two people smile with such sincerity. These two prove time and time again that no matter the occasion, their connection to each other runs deep.

Link to Article


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.