How to Recover From A Bad First Impression

Patti was interviewed by the Toronto Sun on how to recover from a bad first impression.  Read her tips below!

You Blew It! Now What?

How to Recover From

A Bad First Impression

JOANNE RICHARD

Special to Postmedia Network

Your gut tells you that you messed up, but you don’t get

a second chance at making a good first impression right?

Well, possibly you do but you must go in prepared. A

recovery mission to alter an initial perception requires

persistence.

According to experts, if you’ve made a bad first

impression, people then search for behaviors that

backup their initial perception, and ignore information

that conflicts with what they already believe. Beliefs stick

and may limit opportunities in many areas of life.

Persistence

According to body language expert Patti Wood,

(pattiwood.net) first impressions are made within seconds

and it can take up to six months of continuous face-to-

face interaction to change an incorrect first impression.

First impressions are stubborn, social psychologist Heidi

Grant Halvorson tells Business Insider. “And they can

Sometimes be way, way off.” If you’ve stumbled, here’s how

 to recover and make a great impression — the second

time around!
Set a new intention, recommends

Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First

Impressions, Body Language and Charisma. Think of the

new impression you want to send. Anchor it with a specific

set of behaviors you will do at a specific time.

“Let’s say you are seen as overly critical in meetings so

at each meeting you set the intention: I will give one piece

of praise by midway in each meeting and smile and look

at the person or group as I say it,” says Wood.

Provide the perceiver with abundant evidence that they

are dead wrong about you, suggests Grant Halvorson in

Business Insider.
Repeat your evidence behavior over and over.
Piling it on will need to go on for quite

some time. Adds Wood: “If you want to change your

impression you will have to give your better impression

over and over and again to build trust. Don’t be discouraged.

Keep trying. Your consistent positive behavior

will nurture a more accurate healthy impression and long

lasting healthy relationships.”



Show a different, better side

of your personality to help reshape perception, recommends

Wood. “If you come across as gruff, turn and show

your sense of humor. If you come across a cold, show your

warmth — perhaps by showing the way you are a good listener

by leaning forward, paying attention. “If you come across as critical,

show you are actually a positive person who notices

good things by making a comment about a great movie you

just saw or giving a concrete piece of praise,” says Wood.



 

Interact in a different place.


“Research on first impressions

says they are more likely to change if the person sees you

in a different environment,” says Wood, so if the blunder

happened in a meeting room, stop and chat in the hall or

break room. “If you interact every day in the office, go out

with the office staff to lunch. Mix your environments.”

Watch and listen to yourself. Wood says to use your

phone to audio or video tape yourself to see what it is

you are doing that sets a bad impression. “Then watch the

tape and write out the behaviors or have someone else

listen to or look at the tapes and give you feedback.”

Check in at the start and end of interactions.



Be aware of your first and lasts
The first thing and last thing you do in an interaction has the greatest

impact on your impression, says Wood, so be sure to take

note of what you’re doing and make adjustments in your

behavior at those times.

Ask for a do-over

Consider a do-over. If you really messed up and are

committed to reversing that bad first impression, then

apologize and start over. Be profuse and gracious with

your apology, recommends Vicky Oliver, author of 301

Smart Answers to Tough Interview Questions. This must be

done with integrity to work, adds Wood. You must sincerely

wish to improve how you are. “A very brave way to change

a bad first impression is to ask for a do-over then ask that very person to tell you the

one small behavior you can change to begin to heal and

change their impression of you.,” says Wood.

joanne.richard@sunmedia.ca

 

“A very brave way to change a

bad first impression is to ask that very

person to tell you the one small

behavior you can change to begin

to heal and change their

impression of you.”

Patti Wood

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language of Leaders of China and Japan

Notice the body language, the sour downward looks in the leader of China (Xi Jinping) and leader of Japan (Shinzo Abe) Also notice how they pull away from each other in the photo below.

The leaders of China (Xi Jinping) and Japan (Shinzo Abe) held an ice-breaking summit this morning, after two years of dangerous animosity.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Verbal and Body Language Signs You're Neglecting Your Husband, Your Husband is Unhappy and or is Mad at You, and May Want to Leave You

Verbal and Body Language Signs You're Neglecting Your Husband, Your Husband is Unhappy and or is Mad at You, and May Want to Leave You

By Patti Wood MA, CSP

Author of

SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma

He does not spend time with you

He does not want to be in the same room

He does not want to have meals with you

He is always tired

He picks silly fights and complains about small things

He makes you wait. Time is an important non-verbal communicator. If he keeps you waiting, it's a sign his interest is waning and a sign of disrespect. This is true for dates as well. If he starts waiting until the very last minute to make date plans with you, it's likely he's lost interest, or he's hoping something better will come along and he's using you as a back-up.

He declines sex and intimacy. There is a dramatic change in sexual behavior.  This can mean two things: (1) He wants to avoid any situation where he might have to express emotion or attachment to you, or (2) He's getting it somewhere else.

Here are some specific nonverbal behaviors.

Feet Behavior

He points his feet away from you. The feet are the most honest portion of the body.  Look at your sweetie's feet when you are out with other people. If they are pointed at you, great. If they're pointed at someone else, your partner may be looking to walk.

Eye Behavior

1. Avoids making eye contact with you despite the fact that you are looking directly at him.

2. He knows that you are looking at him instead tries to make eye contact with someone else, look at the ceiling or to another point in the room.

3. Stares at you with dead eyes and the corners of his mouth turned downward with compressed lips.

4. Stares at you with a sneer - the corners of his mouth twisted and his nose wrinkled.

5. Turns his head and looks away while you are speaking.

6. Shakes his head, rolls eyes or yawns.

Body Behavior

1. Thrusts one or both hands into the pockets of his pants when talking to you.

2. Places his arms and hands against the chest and inserted the hands through the gaps made near the armpits.

3. Whether he’s sitting or standing, he keeps his legs closed tightly together or very far apart.

4. Leans back in his chair positioning himself at a distance from you.

5. He does not mirror you and or you notice you’re mirroring his negative body language. People mirror each other's body language when they are in love with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. If you're noticing the two of you are out of sync, you probably are. That's not all.

6. He closes his body windows. When a sweetie is unhappy they will display a lack of open "windows" towards you. "Windows" being his heart, eyes, neck and palms. If your man turns his heart (the center of his chest) away from you as you are talking to each other.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.