7 Signals That You Should Stay Together As a Couple

7 Signals That You Should Stay Together As a Couple

1.      You still sleep close together and touching in some way. One of the most important differences involved touching, with 94% of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68% of those that didn't touch.” with 86% of those who slept less than an inch apart from their partner being happy with their relationship, compared to only 66% of those who slept more than 30 inches apart.

2.      You still make each other laugh.

3.      You still go to them to kiss or in some way welcome them when they come home and or you kiss or embrace when you say goodbye.

4.      You still want to listen when they are sharing a bad day or rough time.

5.      You still want to fix them a snack or bring them tea or coffee, or want to do small actions of nurturing and kindness.

6.      You lean your head on their shoulder or he still kisses you on top of your head or that other special spot.

7.      You still go to bed at the same time and talk.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Three Things You Can Do To Make You Happier

Three Things You Can Do To Make You Happier

1. Write Morning Papers - A morning ritual that I teach my clients is to clear your mind of clutter. When you first wake up in the morning, take ideally fifteen minutes to write down anything that is muddying up your head. Write three pages in an easy no pressure stream of consciousness. Write down any thoughts or feelings that are clogging your brain. This is not refined perfect creative writing. Its musings, lists, to dos, dreams, worries, and sometime just junk. Dump thoughts out on the page the way you dump out the trash. Now your mind is clear and you can accomplish much more in your day. There may be times when you are too busy, but I know that when I am stressed or need to be especially creative I go back to morning pages. I have written three books while doing morning pages.  Screen Writer and Entrepreneur Julia Cameron calls the pages, morning pages and describes the benefits in her book, “The Artists Way.” I am a professional speaker, body language expert, executive life coach and author. I speak around the country to groups of small businesses owners.

2. Breathe Deeply - Breathing deeply can make you feel happier. When you get upset or nervous or just plain stressed out notice your breathing. Right now look at your watch, your cell phone or clock and begin to count the number of times you breathe in and out in one minute. You may notice that even at rest your nervous breathing is faster than the "average" rate of 12 to 14 times a minute (a rate which is already faster than it needs to be). In fact, many of us, without knowing it, habitually "hyperventilate"- that is, we take quick, shallow breaths from the top of our chest. This kind of breathing sharply reduces the level of carbon dioxide in our blood.
This reduced level of carbon dioxide causes the arteries, including the carotid artery going to the brain, to constrict, thus reducing the flow of blood throughout the body. When this occurs, no matter how much oxygen you may breathe into your lungs, your brain and body will experience a shortage of oxygen. The lack of oxygen switches on the sympathetic nervous system - our "freeze, fight or flight reflex." That reflex enabled our ancestors to freeze so they wouldn't be seen or flee from a saber tooth tiger but now it is just making you tense, anxious, and irritable. When you take quick shallow breaths you reduce your ability to think clearly. During an important meeting, date or job interview it may keep you from answering questions quickly and succinctly, and you can be at the mercy of obsessive thoughts and images. You may start thinking, “Oh my gosh, I am going to mess up." "Oh my gosh, I am a failure." "I bet he thinks I am stupid."
We may even stop breathing as we get to the end of each obsessive thought. Some researchers believe that hyperventilation can actually magnify our psychological problems and conflicts, and that chronic hyperventilation is intimately bound up with our anxieties, apprehensions, and fears. One key to feeling youthful is being clear headed, energized and confident. So breathe deeply, from low down in your belly. You can practice breathing more slowly using your diaphragm, belly, rib cage, and lower back in the breathing process. I have been reading and practicing tantric breathing to be more awake to how I breathe and really get inside my body and increase my power. It is amazing how strong and powerful I feel when I take deep belly breaths making a lot of noise as the air fills me up and let out that breath fully and completely in deep releasing sighs. Of course you’re not going to be doing deep, tantric breathing in a job interview, but it could help calm you and clear your energy the night before or in the car before you go into an important meeting. Try it right now. Take four deep belly breaths in on a count of four holding for a count of two and making lots of noise as you sigh deeply out all your breath. Now say. I feel wonderful.

3. Give safe nonthreatening touch to others, so you can receive the benefits of touch by giving to others.

“How about a hug?” - Ask for hugs and give them freely. There are many forms of affection — cuddling, a pat on the shoulder, etc. Find out what kind of affectionate touch the people in your life want and give it to them. At Florida State, though I did not have a doctorate, I was called Dr. Hugs by my students. My nonverbal communication class had more than100 students, so everywhere I went I got a hug. I loved it.

“Thank you” - Touch can be a reward. A gentle touch on the forearm or hand at work or a hug or kiss at home can let people know you appreciate them. Think of all the little things people do for you and reward them with a touch. I was “the napkin girl” when I was very small and after I went around the table folding and putting the napkins at each place setting, I got a hug. As I grew older and set the full table, I still got a verbal thank you, but the hug was absent. Continue touching to say thank you. Heidi Feldman, chief of the Division of General Academic Pediatrics at Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh says, “A child is much more likely to try to please a parent who acknowledges his contribution and thoughtful, helping behavior.”

“Tell me more” - I did research in grad school on touching to increase self-disclosure. Sure enough, when you touch someone even briefly in a non-threatening, non-sexual way, they will self-disclose more. This was helpful for me to know and take action as a therapist, but just think how powerful it is to use in your personal relationships. We tend to skate on the surface of our relationships instead on becoming emotionally intimate. Create the intimacy of pillow talk without sex by giving healthy touch to encourage people to share more. There are places and times where “Tell me more” touch works very easily. While cooking or eating dinner with loved ones, you can purposefully touch as you hand each other food, plates and utensils, When riding in a car or golf cart, you are close enough to touch in a non-threatening manner, even if it is something as innocent as passing a drink or handkerchief. In sales or other meeting settings, you can touch when passing out handouts, brochures or samples.

“Let me comfort you” - Sometimes we move away from loved ones who are highly emotional, crying or upset when moving in closer and touching can help them feel better.
There is an exception to this. Therapists are sometimes encouraged not to touch too soon so their patients can stay upset long enough to share all their pain. When my best friend Roy was dying, one of the worst things to deal with was the lack of comforting touch I could get from others. I moved to Atlanta away from my other friends and family and the one person who normally hugged me and gave me the most comfort was Roy. And he needed me to be strong for him. If you know someone who is going through grief and loss give them comforting touch. So often, we get caught up in taboos and avoid the natural inclination to touch. People will step back or arch away if they are uncomfortable with the prospect of your touch, so take the step to try it, knowing you can move out of it if you need to.

“You can do it” - Use touch as a motivator. Touch as you give a work assignment, as you put your child on their first two-wheeler and as you send your sweetie off to his or her first marathon. Touch makes us feel empowered and is a great encourager. Increased self-esteem received through touch can help others follow through a challenging task. I spent a lot of my teenage years working on plays. I remember clearly how we would all hug each other before each play started and would give little back rubs to actors about to go on stage for a difficult part of their performance. The touch fed us and made us strong. Think of all the touch given in a sporting event. It’s not surprising the encouraging touch given to athletes is similar across cultures. We know that a pat on the back moves a person forward.

“Please” - Use touch to ask for help as well. It won’t surprise you to know that pairing touch with a request makes it much more likely the person will do what you ask. Just a brief touch on the forearm, lasting less than a fortieth of a second, can increase your persuasive powers.

“I love you” - It should be very clear to you now we need physical contact to feel acceptance and belonging. We all want to be loved.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What Does Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Body Language Say?

What Does Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Body Language Say?
An Expert Weighs In on Their First Appearance Together

Yesterday, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made their first joint appearance together. Yes, an event so groundbreaking, so invigorating, so miraculous that it must be put it in italics! (No, we aren’t obsessing over two strangers just to briefly distract ourselves from imminent nuclear obliteration or superstorm destruction or some freaky combination of both. Why do you ask?)
At the same time, it was almost too much of a good thing. Mere days ago there were only a few of photos of them together—and those were all grainy, out of focus, or taken from a distance. Now there are pages on pages of high-quality ones, and gasp, they capture so many different emotions! There’s laughing. There’s pondering. There’s gazing at each other and off into the distance. There’s hand holding. There’s hand-folding. There’s whispering. And while it was easy to dissect the small amount of pictures before, now it’s nearly impossible for even the most dedicated of Meghan-Harry over-analyzers.

It’s a job for an expert: a body language expert, that is.
Vogue asked Patti Wood, the “Babe Ruth of body-language experts”, to decode Harry and Meghan’s facial expressions, positioning, posture, and hand-holding from their big debut. Are they in love? Or is the pressure of the public eye taking its toll? Wood weighs in, below.

Photo: Getty Images
“This is a connection moment—we are going to laugh together in the same moment. We are having this experience of joy and fun together. It’s a purely happy moment. Big, big grin, showing upper teeth, which men typically only do when they are super happy and joyful and laughing. It’s really great.”

Photo: Getty Images
“It’s a pre-touch. We see that smile again—she’s just gleeful with that smile! He’s smiling too. Even if they aren’t looking in the same direction, it’s a cool moment. See how his legs are spread out? He does that all the time when he’s confident and relaxed. He goes into the ‘alpha male’—legs spread out. That’s just guy behavior. It means he’s really relaxed, open, connected with the experience.”

Photo: Getty Images
“There’s a lot of shared intimacy there. He kind of kisses her head, she’s smiling, his left hand holding her, and then they are holding hands with the other hands. I just love double touches! This is a spontaneous double touch hold! It’s really, really good—with royalty, there’s not a lot of double touching. Maybe you’ll see it on a red carpet, but you won't necessarily see it spontaneously. It’s a great sign. He’s not pulling her, he’s just holding her. This is very, very nice and relaxed.”

Photo: Getty Images
“He’s on the bottom, holding her hand up. He wants to be connected, but he wants to take care of her. I love that! He is leading her—but I don’t like when men lead and hold downward. That’s like a child—you have your hands on top and you are pulling them. In this case you are cupping and holding, and that is much more care-taking.”

Photo: Getty Images
“I love it. She’s comfortable leaning forward. It’s a comfortable moment.”
Wood’s final prognosis: Meghan and Harry are in love—and, incredibly, incredibly happy together. “They are used to sharing intimate conversations and intimate moments. They are having fun together, and a lot of the little touches and facial expressions—this is not the first time. This is something that they do together. They have fun times together.”

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

There May Be a Hidden Meaning Behind Prince Harry's Odd Hand Gesture With Melania Trump

There May Be a Hidden Meaning Behind Prince Harry's
Odd Hand Gesture With Melania Trump
September 25, 2017 12:20 pm

PHOTO: Getty Images

We can now add Prince Harry to the list of celebs theorized to be shading the Trumps with their body language. Photos making the rounds on social media show a meeting between the British royal and Melania Trump at Toronto's Invictus Games—and it looked awkward, to put it mildly.
Harry had his middle finger, ring finger, and thumb tucked into his jacket for what seemed to be a very long time. A video shows him posing for photos with the First Lady, and then turning toward her as he keeps his fingers firmly tucked in. He's barely smiling, and her own smile looks forced too.
Twitter users couldn't help but notice the lack of warmth and overall weirdness of the interaction. But is there actually any animosity between these two, or are we reading too deeply into it? We asked Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to weigh in.
There really was something off about Harry's body language, Wood says. He often holds his hand in his jacket, she explains—but never that high up, or with his fingers in such an unusual configuration. A hand up in front of the body is known as a "comfort cue," she says. "You're protecting vital organs." In other words, at the very least, Harry's defenses are up.
Some also couldn't help but notice that Harry's fingers are in a shape known as the devil's horn, which is meant to ward off evil spirits or diseases. "That is actually the devil's horn," says Wood. "Whether that's intentional or not, I don't know." She added that it isn't a position your hand naturally falls into, which would indicate some sort of intention—whether that's to ward off evil or just protect oneself. "He often smiles in photos," she adds. "He's a very happy person, and he's not smiling."
Wood also observed how tense Melania looked in the pictures, with her arms close to her body and her jaw and neck muscles tight. "If you look at her eyes, she's giving a glare to the media," she said.
So, while we can't confirm the theory that Harry's treating Melania as an evil force to ward off, we can say with some certainty that both of them are feeling pretty awkward—maybe even as awkward as they look.
Link to article - https://www.glamour.com/story/there-may-be-a-hidden-meaning-behind-prince-harrys-odd-hand-gesture-with-melania-trump

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

New Yorkers React to NFL Kneeling Protest, Trump Tweets

New Yorkers react to NFL kneeling protest,  Trump tweets

By Lisa L. Colangelo and Alison Fox   lisa.colangelo@amny.com, alison.fox@amny.com September 25, 2017

Gridiron fans across the city didn’t heed President Donald Trump’s call for a ban on watching football as they huddled into bars or hopped trains to The Meadowlands to catch the Jets game.
Trump continued his tirade against NFL players who protest during the national anthem with an early Sunday morning tweet saying fans should refuse to go to games until players “stop disrespecting our Flag & Country,” adding, “Fire or suspend!”
That comes on the heels of his explosive comments to a crowd in Alabama on Friday suggesting team owners should say, “Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. Out! He’s fired,” to any player who kneels as a sign of protest.
Hell’s Kitchen resident Tommy Walsh, 22, said he doesn’t agree with the protest but he also doesn’t agree with Trump’s involvement.
“I think he’s right, but he should mind his business,” said Walsh from an area sports bar, adding he feels kneeling for the national anthem is “anti-American.”
“They definitely have a choice, everybody has a choice,” Walsh said about the players. “If your boss tells you you should act a certain way at work, you shouldn’t complain. There’s a time and a place to do it.”
Aaron Clark, a 45-year-old teacher from Queens, thought it was “awesome to be in a country where they have the right to protest.”
“The Constitution grants the right to peacefully protest and they’re exercising that right,” he said while watching football at a local bar.
“I think it’s suppressing free speech,” said Chris Hecker, 27, of Merrick, as he waited with friends at Penn Station for a train to the Jets game. “I’m sure a lot of other people are not going to boycott the NFL.”
Even some of Trump’s friends and supporters in the football world rejected his comments on Sunday with a strong show of unity.
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady locked arms with his teammates during the national anthem, while several others went down on one knee. Robert Kraft, the owner of the team and a friend of Trump, said he was disappointed by the tone of his comments.
“Our players are intelligent, thoughtful and care deeply about our community, and I support their right to peacefully affect social change and raise awareness in a manner that they feel is most impactful,” Kraft said in a statement released on Twitter.
New York Jets CEO Christopher Johnson also stood arm in arm with his players on the field before Sunday’s game.
“It was an honor and a privilege to stand arm-in-arm unified with our players during today’s national anthem,” he said in a statement. “We are very proud of our players and their strong commitment to work in our community to make a positive, constructive and unifying impact.”
Football fan Mohsin Syed, 39, said at first he was put off by Colin Kaepernick’s decision to kneel during the national anthem last season as a form of protest against police violence and the oppression of African-Americans.
“I do now kind of understand,” said Syed, who works in technology investment and splits his time between the United States and India. “The president of the country, the leader of the country coming and swearing — that’s not an America I want to come to.”
Gov. Andrew Cuomo referenced the debate while announcing a relief effort for hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico.
“And look, to our colleagues in our federal government, I humbly suggest that at this time, instead of arguing with football players, instead of obsessing with how to take health care from the poor in this country, why don’t we put the politics aside and focus on helping Americans in desperate need,” Cuomo said.
Later in the day, Trump sent out another tweet many people found puzzling in the wake of protests at many football games.
“Great solidarity for our National Anthem and for our Country,” he tweeted. “Standing with locked arms is good, kneeling is not acceptable.”
Body language expert Patti Wood said locking arms, historically, is viewed as a wall against oppression.
“It shows solidarity,” said Wood, author of “Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma.”
“They are locking arms against oppression,” she said. “This shows [Trump] doesn’t get what that means. He would represent the status they are trying to change.”
Wood also said when players drop to one knee in protest, it is a deliberate show of nonviolence, and hearkens back to the posture of knights.
“They are not raising a fist,” she said. “They see what is happening and they want to show they are different. It’s very strong.”

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Why Do You Make Sounds and Curse Under Stress? - Limbic Brain

Why Do You Make Sounds and Curse Under Stress? - Limbic Brain

Why do we swear when we are surprised or scarred or do something like stub our toe or hurt ourselves?

Why do we take a sharp inward breath or make an odd sound like, "oh" as we bump into someone? Or make a “ahh" sound when we are cut off by another car? What causes us to make those noises when something surprising and or scary is about to happen?

Your limbic brain is engaged when you are surprised, stressed or in danger.  Language is in the thinking rational neocortex.So when you’re in your limbic brain you do not have access to language as you know it, but you can make sounds. 

Our emotions are in our limbic brain so often those sounds we make communicate the emotions we are experiencing in that awkward moment.

Some researchers believe the only language that comes from the limbic brain are cuss words, so for example, when you stub your toe, you say a cuss word you didn’t even know you knew!

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Body Language Experts Explain Prince Harry's Strange Pose with Melania Trump

Body Language Experts Explain
Prince Harry’s Strange Pose with Melania Trump

A picture is worth a thousand words. But some onlookers apparently thought this one, of Prince Harry and Melania Trump at the Invictus Games in Toronto over the weekend, is worth 666
Harry and the first lady posed for a series of photos together before sitting down for a chat. Trump stood with her arms at her sides, while Harry’s hand was half-tucked into his jacket in a very unusual way: His ring and middle fingers were tucked inside his coat along with his thumb, while he held his pinky and pointer fingers outside. 

His unusual gesture ― and whether or not it was intentional ― became a hot topic over the weekend, even eclipsing Harry’s first official appearance with his American girlfriend Meghan Markle. People on Twitter and some media outlets noted it looks like Harry was giving a symbol of the devil, either signaling that he himself is the devil or that the spirit of the devil surrounded him
But two body language experts think the gesture was misread in two very different ways. Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma, told HuffPost that while Harry has held his jacket in photos before, this specific hand position is new.

“This is called the horn or the devil’s horn, and what people are saying in the media about it is not correct,” she said. “It is not a sign that he’s the devil, but rather a warning off of evil spirits. It’s a protective gesture against evil or darkness and illness.” 
Huh. Wood said putting one’s hand on one’s stomach is an act of self-comfort, and she has previously noticed other world leaders exhibiting self-comfort in photo ops with President Donald Trump.

“I’ve seen world leaders in photo shoots with Trump and I see a lot of what are called self-comfort cues,” she said. “This would be considered one of those. It looks like the devil’s horn but it is also hand to belly,” she said. “At the very least it would be a comfort cue, and show a lot of tension and a need to protect his central core.” 

Joe Navarro, body language expert and author of What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People, is skeptical of reading any intention in Harry’s body language. He pointed out to HuffPost that a photo is a moment in time, and a number of factors could have led to this particular positioning. 

“Had the photographers loitered too long? Is there something else going on?” he asked, adding, “I have to wonder, was he going to unbutton his jacket and then changed his mind? Was he in prep for sitting and then they asked him to stand again to do more photos? To me, you can’t draw too many inferences from the photo. I wouldn’t personally read too much into that.”
But both experts agree that there is a level of tension visible in Harry, and both pointed out the prince usually looks much more relaxed and happy in such situations.

“There was some psychological discomfort,” Navarro said. “The look of his face, the look of his hand is very unusual, except for the fact that he and his brother have a tendency to cover their belly which is a self-soothing behavior to deal with a bit of tension.”

“His normal facial expression is actually typically a smile, which is wonderful and warm and engaging,” Wood said. “Here, the mouth is more closed, lips more pulled back and he’s not smiling.”
Wood also noted that Melania Trump, who kept her arms pressed closely to her body the whole time (“a fear response”), looked tense, too.

“If you look at their smiles, hers has enormous amount of tension. Her look is slitted eyes, closed eyes, which we do in tension. We also close our eyes when we want to attack.”

Still, Navarro was firm that when it comes to Harry, we can’t draw conclusions from a weird-looking hand position.
“All we can say is that it is unusual, but we can’t automatically say he intended it to be this or that,” he said.

That didn’t stop Twitter users from saying it. They flooded the site with responses to the awkward photos, with many suggesting Harry was sending a subliminal message. 

Link to Huffington Post article - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/prince-harry-melania-trump-hand-gesture_us_59c90057e4b01cc57ff3975a?woc

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What the Way You Hold Your Handbag Says About You

What the Way You Hold Your Handbag Says About You

Find out what a body language expert has to say about the way you tote around your bag.

Drawings by Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com

The secrets of the hold

We often spend a lot of time trying to pick out which bag to carry on the daily, and that preferred purse says a lot about you. But not much second thought is given into the way we choose to carry it. Whether you like to showcase it in your hand, elbow crook, or across the shoulder, it's actually not a random decision. According to body language experts, it can say a lot about our inherent personality. We spoke with Patti Wood, body language expert and speaker, to find out exactly how to decipher hidden messages in the way we present our go-to accessory. She has spent over 30 years conducting research, writing books, and speaking about body language. "I am fascinated by purse behavior," notes Wood. "Purses are a gender identifier: a way to show your status, your taste and creativity, and personality."

Over one shoulder with bag close to body

You're practical and need others to prove that they are worthy of your trust. When you meet new people, you look for these signs that they can be trusted. As someone mainly looking to get things done, you don't like to waste your time with little things. Your cautious and wary tendency means that you feel the need to be smart in public and watch out for yourself. According to Wood, "If you tightly grip the bag and pull it, it's more likely fear, lower self-esteem, or concern of your purse being stolen."
Over one shoulder with bag swinging freely

Different from the hands-free look, your purse hangs freely on one side of your body, not your front. You are characterized by your spontaneous, carefree attitude and like to take life as it comes. People know you as being confident and self-assured. Wood also notes that you like your style to show, but you still want a certain amount of freedom. You don't put priority on designer labels and brand names; the swinging and open style indicates that you favor functionality over display. Whichever brand you choose, these are some things you should never keep in your purse.

In the crook of your elbow

This approach depicts a flaunting of prestige and authority. You put priority on status and position, and can indicate that you are carrying a purse with a heftier price tag. While you may sometimes be referred to as "high maintenance," you know what you expect to receive from the world. (Take this quiz to find out how high maintenance you really are.) According to Wood, the arm crook can carry the most width, so carrying a bigger bag signals that you like to be seen. "I see celebrities do this with their big double-handled high status bags. Part of it is the weight and breadth; if they don't hold it this way, it makes their body look bigger and matronly in photos. If it's held out more from your body, a common style practiced by A-listers, it depicts power. You're wearing the bag as if it's a badge of honor or an award. You feel as if you've got a sense of superiority."

In your hand

This style exudes a more sophisticated and put-together quality. People think of you as being assertive, well-organized, and efficient. This is the most comparable to carrying a briefcase and can communicate the importance of the person's job. Your ambitious attributes shine through, and you excel at focusing on the task at hand, probably because you're armed with these things you keep in your purse to help you be more productive. People also tend to carry a bag this way when they want to attract more attention to the outfit itself—you don't want your purse to be attached to it. Instead, the purse merely becomes a separate accessory to accentuate your clothing.

In front of body with both hands

Body language experts refer to this as "twofurr," which indicates shyness and a need to protect oneself. You may suffer from anxiety in social scenarios and prefer to stay out of the spotlight. "I see young women do this in public situations where they don't know people or in stress situations, and if they are generally shy," Wood says. These are the signs your social anxiety is actually a disorder.

Cross-body with bag in front

You want as much freedom of movement possible, coupled with a feeling of protection and accessibility. This method allows for the most convenience to be able to get into your bag, but until then you want to move through the world easily without feeling encumbered. "Function is more important than appearance in any cross-body bag," says Wood. "Some people carry and use cross-body bags and they think it is the safest, easiest, and most secure if you are a walking a lot. You see this in people who live in big cities like New York and with people who travel a lot." Sound like you? Then, you need these tips on how to pack lighter when you travel.

Cross-body with bag in back

You tote around a cool, calm, and collected personality that is more trusting of others. You are also walking with a clear goal in mind, and the bag is analogous to your autonomous individuality. You don't like to concern yourself with the things you have to carry—Instead, you're great at shaking off life's burdens and like to view life through a more casual, relaxed lens. In fact, your bra may reveal the same thing about your personality.


People who sport a backpack are more independent and want to take care of themselves and the people around them. While freedom is important, you primarily like to be prepared for any situation. Steal these back-to-school tips to keep your backpack organized wherever you go. Unlike cross-body gals, you don't like to leave anything to chance and tend to be the most reliable one of the group. You strongly believe in healthy living and find comfort in having a sense of belonging. In addition, your natural nurturing instinct may be stronger than others. You don't stress about what other people think of you—you determine your own coolness and pride yourself on being self-sufficient.

No bag at all

If you neglect a bag altogether, you imply a privileged position where others (whether it be a boyfriend or assistant) carries the load for you. This personality is the most self-assured of them all; you have so much going on for you that carrying a bag is not something you have to concern yourself with. On the other hand, it could just mean that you are completely unencumbered and want to move freely. According to Wood, in this case it indicates that you are very secure in your own identity, and you like to be defined by who you are as opposed to the things you wear. Curious what your other accessories say about you? This is what your shoes reveal about your personality.

Link to Readers Digest article - https://www.rd.com/culture/handbag-hold-personality/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.