How to Answer When Asks, "How Are You Doing?" How to Greet People by Body Language Expert Patti Wood, Small Talk., Greeting Behavior,

How to Answer When Asks, "How Are You Doing?"

(From Patti's books SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma and People Savvy)

The first consideration in responding to someone asking How you are doing is the source of the question. For example, if the person is not someone who will see again and or that you don't want to grow and maintain a professional relationship, then a simple "Fine." is appropriate and significant.

A more personalized, more detailed, and specific response helps build rich long-term relationships.

When I taught Nonverbal Communication at Florida State, I would tell the story of the Warm Fuzzes, the Plastic Fuzzies, and the Cold Prickles. (There was a village where children were given at birth a bag of warm fuzzes (Soft cuddly puffs that when you gave them made people feel warm and fuzzy inside). The village was a warm and loving place. One day a wizard visited and said to all the villagers, "You are going to run out of warm fuzzies!" So he gave the villagers bags, plastic fuzzies, a fake plastic kind of communication that wasn't real and cold pricklies that made people feel all cold and sharp and hard inside. So the villagers hoarded their now seemingly precious warm fuzzies and gave plastic fuzzies and cold pricklies, and in times the village grew tense and unhappy, lonely and mean. Then a good witch entered the village and handed out warm fuzzies to everyone. The villagers felt bad about feeling so good when she gave them warm fuzzies that they went home and got out their bags of warm fuzzies and started giving them again. They realized as they did that their bag of warm fuzzies filled up as they gave them freely, and everyone lived happily ever after.

The moral of the story? When you give a warm, genuine communication, you give something warm and accurate to the other person, and you, in return, have your bag of warmth replenished.

The second consideration in responding is whether you tell them anything bad. If you feel bad and bad things are happening in your life, a sincere response may include that truth. But, if you don't need other people's comfort, you don't have to share that. If you do, you may wish to soften it with a positive truth or hope for the future statement such as, "I have a family member going through a hard time, and that hard, but we have a good strong family, and we are grateful for that." "Business is not at the top of our projections right now, but we are working with a new prospect the next quarter looks much better. "I am having a hard day today, but I have plans for the weekend with my family, and I am grateful."

The third thing to consider is how to respond after you have completed answering their "How are you question."
You can continue the more standard response interaction with, "And How are you?" with the expectation you will get a standard, "Fine." Response or you can create a more authentic deeper interaction by asking a different question such as, "And what is the best thing going on in your life? "or "What are you looking forward to today?" "Tell me something that lifted your spirits today." "What's the best thing that happened to you today?" Some people may respond that nothing good is happening, and if so, that gives you an opportunity to have unique, tangible interaction and comfort them. But many times, you get back an incredible honest positive response that feels terrific for both of you

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Does a Narcissist Want You to Chase Them?

They like pursuing and being pursued

They like both pursuing and being pursued; ultimately, they want to control. Narc’s feel good when they control the happiness of others. They get Narcissistic supply from controlling their target’s happiness.

If the victim pursues them, the Narc can control the flow of joy by being out of reach and unattainable, just out of reach, seemingly won, and then out of reach again, in a continuing cycle.

They can get a supply hit from seeing their target’s efforts to pursue. When they appear “gotten,” they can get a hit of supply from knowing that it is all a ruse, a game, and then they can get a bit hit supply from dropping the victim, disconnecting, ghosting, and then another by reappearing.

https://upjourney.com/does-a-narcissist-want-you-to-chase-them

Megan Fox & MGK's Proposal Body Language by Body Language Expert Patti Wood,

Get out your celebratory blood vials, everyone! Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are officially engaged. On Jan. 11, MGK proposed to Megan during a vacation in Puerto Rico. The musician popped the question under a banyan tree that already held significance in their relationship — apparently, back in July 2020, they sat below the same tree and “ask[ed] for magic.” (Would you expect anything less from them?) Their romantic wish came true, and Megan and MGK’s proposal body language is exactly what you’d expect from the couple: dramatic (if curated) and full of excitement.

body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, Patti Wood explains to Elite Daily that the proposal looks “staged.” Filmed from multiple angles, the engagement video looks like a movie clip of some sort of ritual sacrifice. “They’re at an apex as if it was a sanctuary. Their intention here is to show that it was a holy act,” Wood guesses.

And that intention continues to seep through the rest of the video. “There’s a silence to it,” Wood also notes. Despite the fact that we can clearly see MGK and Megan talking to one another in the clip, all you can hear is the sounds of nature and birds chirping. Wood says, “They want to elevate it and make it more sacred. It’s definitely curated and produced.”

After MGK kneels, Megan immediately covers her mouth with her hands — it’s an obvious sign of surprise, but it looks exaggerated in the moment, per Wood. “It seems a little over-acted,” she says. Within the next few seconds, however, you see a more genuine side of their relationship.

In the video, Megan sways slightly back and forth with looking at her beau. “It’s a spontaneous, sincere, rocking motion. She’s truly nervous and excited,” says Wood. The back-and-forth rocking reminds her of a child seeing a birthday gift, eagerly waiting to get their hands on it.

Megan’s anticipation is clear, but MGK has a much more zen vibe going on. “He seems fairly calm,” Wood adds. To be fair, he had more time to adjust to the idea of engagement — custom engagement rings take some time, after all!

When Megan processes what’s happening, she quickly joins MGK on the ground, kneeling with him. “It’s unusual,” per Wood. Usually, people either stay standing or bend over to reach their partner during the proposal.

They aren’t just literally on the same level, either. Her joining him on the ground hints at a strong connection between the two of them (surprising literally no one). “Coming down to his level shows a desire to be closer to him and equanimity in feelings,” Wood says.

That’s not all. Wood also notices how Megan “presses down on the top of her head” as MGK speaks to her as if she’s trying to physically “keep herself together” — or stop the excitement from literally bursting out. At the same moment, MGK nods at her. “[The nod indicates that] he feels the same about this,” Wood says. AKA, they’re both feeling a little overwhelmed by how excited they are.

t’s what I call a ‘look pretty’ kiss,” Wood says of Megan and MGK’s post-proposal smooch. There isn’t a lot of heat or discernible passion. And although the whole scene has sensual overtones, per Wood, the kiss is slightly lackluster. (Believe me, I’m as shocked as you are.)

“They’re not pressing toward each other,” Wood adds, pointing to the way the couple keeps space between them even when they are kissing. “There’s no energy or pulling each other closer, which usually indicates passion.” (A little refresher: This is the same couple that has “the kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary,” according to Megan herself.)

Here’s hoping we get to see the professional photos — or drone footage — from this proposal soon! Three camera angles are just not enough!

They’re Feeling Overwhelmed

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/megan-fox-mgk-machine-gun-kelly-proposal-body-language

Techniques to Deal with a Celebrity Death

I am an expert in body language, and I speak on dealing with grief loss and trauma.

I remember the Day John Denver died I had an overwhelming urge to call my childhood friend Robin Wilkinson and share my grief with her. So I called her and we did, one of the best things you can do to deal with a celebrity death that affects you, we told each other stories about John and his music. We had so many memories! Times we had enjoyed listening to his songs together. Times we sang his songs in the car on the way to football games. Years that our friends at church gathered in a big circle and played Denver's songs on our guitars. I thanked Robin for giving me a John Denver album for a birthday present when I was recovering from getting my tonsils out. And she remembered I had played that album with her and cheered up immediately. It helped.

Here are 7 Techniques to Deal with a Celebrity Death that affects you. By Patti Wood.

Find some of their "artistry" to relive and enjoy the pleasure of what made them special. Play their music, watch videos of their interviews, find their stand-up routines. Watch your favorite movie.
Share Stories about what you loved most about their talent and memories you have of enjoying them. Reach out to people in your life that you share memories attached to the celebrity's artistry. Sharing positive stories about someone softens your grief and honors them.
Write down in your journal or online in social media a positive memory or even more than one positive memory of their artistry. Writing is a great form of healing. It gets thoughts out of your body and releases them to the universe.
Be ok with your grief. It is ok to be sad. And even be sad and you think about different times in your life that have passed.
Reach out to that artist's community to share your condolences and memories.
If you're an artist of any kind, create some form of art to honor them. Paint a picture, write a song, a joke.
If you want to move out of sadness, move your body. Do something to give yourself a physical release. Grief operates in the right hemisphere, the limbic brain so you can shift out of grief by moving. Take a brisk walk, turn on some music and sing or dance. Go hear live music. Get in the car and take a meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. You can breathe in slowly and deeply. Play with your pet. Bounce a ball.

The Five Steps to Deal with Negative Self-Talk and Conflict By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

The Five Steps to Deal with Negative Self-Talk By Patti Wood

1. Tune in to your body.
2. Breathe and send yourself love
3. Use self-talk to see things differently.
4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.
5. Congratulate yourself.

Step 1. Tune in to your body.

When you're critical of yourself, you tune into the critical thinking brain in your neocortex. You want to release the critic, turn it off, and move to your emotional brain, where body language and feeling are processed. The first step is to be inside your body. Be aware of how criticism may negatively affect your body, then shift or change that aspect of your body language. Next, you want to be mindful of the physical signs of tension, so you can release them before they develop any further. Body signals indicate increasing negativity. Here’s what to do if you notice them:

· Tensing of muscles — move and let go and relax your body from the feet up.

· Lowering your head — bring your head up. Let it lift as if a balloon holds it.

· Your hands, arms, and legs are pulling in to make yourself smaller — bring your limbs out. Spread your feet apart. Get big.

· A change in your breathing (perhaps your breath is shallower) — breathe deep.

· A change in voice tone or volume. Notice if you are frozen in place or perhaps not talking at all or lowering the volume or the strength of your voice — shout or sing or yell out something positive.

Step 2. Take note of the message that you are sending yourself.

Realize you are in control. Say to yourself, "I am feeling negative about ____ right now. I choose not to let it get bigger, or I choose to let that thought go. Or I choose to change that thought. For example, imagine you have had a bad interaction and find yourself dwelling on a thought such as I let that coworker raise his voice and say horrible things to me. I'm not strong. You can say to yourself, "I chose not to say anything this time, but I will be prepared the next time someone treats me badly. I can say, ‘Please treat me with respect or I can ask for an apology. I might say to myself, "That coworker is not emotionally healthy, and I chose a safe non-engaging response to deal with them. Now I will let that interaction go so that unhealthy person does not take any more of my headspace and cause me any tension or stress.”

Step 3. Switch your negative message to positive self-talk to see things differently.

Learn to use a different kind of self-talk. The exact same situation will produce different emotions if you change your interpretation

Write out your negative message, then flip it and write the opposite positive message.
Write anything that you like about yourself and are proud of.

Examples:

· Hey, I can deal with this.

· I'm a creative person, and I may be stuck at this moment, but this moment will pass, and I will be in flow again.

· I can stop this task for now and shift to something that brings me pleasure and confidence.

· True, things aren't going how I planned, but being negative won't help. What can I do right now to shift my thinking? How can I still get something good/fun out of this experience?

Step 4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.

Do something to give yourself a physical release. Again, critical talk comes from the left hemisphere, so do things that activate your right brain. Take a brisk walk, turn on some music, and sing or dance. Hear live music. Get in the car and take a meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. Breathe in slowly and deeply. Play with your pet. You can imagine you are at the beach or in a meadow or looking at a stream or mountain. Bounce a ball.

Step 5. Congratulate Yourself

Focus on any improvement of your abilities. One step at a time is okay and congratulate yourself.

· Hey, I did that well. I am really proud of myself! YES!

Interviewed several times a week by national media outlets for her expertise in nonverbal communication, Patti Wood is an Atlanta-based consultant, speaker, and author. And speaks to Fortune 500 companies and associations on communication, including

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