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It's not just hindsight that's 20/20—so too is body language, at least if you know what to look for. No one can read non-verbal cues quite so adeptly as our body language expert, Patti Wood, MA who helps us review the evolution of the doomed relationship between Prince Charles and his first wife, Diana, Princess of Wales.
Theirs was to have been a storybook romance, or so it seemed. When Prince Charles met Lady Diana Spencer for the first time in 1977, he was the 29-year-old heir apparent to the British throne, and she was the teenaged kid sister of the woman on whom the young prince had set his sights. Although Charles was the "most eligible bachelor in the world," Lady Sarah Spencer was indifferent to the young prince.
It wasn't until two years after that relationship fizzled that Prince Charles finally took an interest in Lady Diana. A brief courtship began, and six months later, the prince proposed. Here in late February 1981, right after announcing their engagement, the two pose informally outside Buckingham Palace, with Diana gently and passively resting her hand palm down on the crook of the Prince's arm while the prince hides one hand inside his jacket. "It's an early and subtle warning sign of Charles' lack of commitment," Wood notes. "He's attempting to make the connection less intimate."
"During the engagement so many years ago, I could already see something wasn't quite right between Prince Charles and Lady Diana," Wood tells Reader's Digest, pointing out how in this photo taken during the engagement, Diana is gazing away from Charles, her eyes hooded and looking so sad it appears tears are mere seconds away. Wood also notes how Diana's shoulders are stiff and up near her ears while her arms are tense and still. It's as if a "fear" response has been triggered, and she's frozen in place. "She may be fearful of the cameras," Wood points out, "but notice how Prince Charles [who arguably has been getting comfortable with cameras all his life], is also holding his arms stiffly by his side. It's as if these two already know their impending nuptials are a mistake, but they're powerless to do anything about it. Don't miss these 10 facts you probably don't know about Diana, Princess of Wales
It was to have been the wedding of the century, nay, a wedding for the ages. And, in a sense, it was. Nearly 1 billion television viewers in 74 countries watched the two exchange vows at St. Paul's Cathedral in the presence of 2,650 guests as they wed on July 29, 1981. But that was just the first day of the rest of their lives, and judging by the dynamics at work in this photo of the newlyweds kissing on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, things were about to slide downhill, fast. "See how she's doing all the work?" Wood points out to Reader's Digest. She's clearly passionate about her new husband, but he does not share her ardor. It's as if she's literally "bending over backward" to hold his attention, while he responds with a nearly chaste peck on the lips, his eyes closed, his passion either in-check or non-existent.
Your Voice and Emotion
I love this
topic. I am known as a body language expert, but my degrees are broader and
include all of the nonverbal communication. The skill I use most often in my "reads"
of people is detecting emotion and honesty via paralanguage. When I follow
murder trials for the media or analyze public figures' speeches or events like
apology statements, I place the paralanguage read as an essential part of the analysis.
1. How much emotion does our voice reveal?
Please note any critical studies on this subject matter that contribute to your
answer. If it doesn't convey emotion, please explain why.
Are voices reveal all our emotions. The seven core emotions (there are
more, but the basics are ) Anger, Fear, Disgust, Happiness, Sadness, Surprise,
and Contempt, and more. Research shows
that people more accurately interpret someone's emotion from just their voice
than they were from listening to and observing or just observing them.
(Here is one of the studies https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/10/171010105639.htm)
Human voices convey emotions much more quickly than words. It takes just 1/10
of a second for our brains to begin to recognize emotions from paralanguage (Paralanguage
in the science of all the nuances of the voice including breath, tone, tempo,
volume level, pauses, etc.) And we pay more attention to the emotions of
vocalizations, like laughter or grows, or crying than we do emotions expressed
via words. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/01/160118134938.htm A test for that is to cry or giggle to a baby
or a dog and see how they respond. Or note how, when someone you love calls you,
sometimes you know that something is wrong in their lives just from the way
they greet you on the call.
2. Can you provide 3-4 examples (if
there are any) about times when voice conveys emotion?
Voice is one of the primary pathways for expressing emotions. You can see
how you can say the same word to portray many different emotions just by how
you express it vocally. Say the word "Really" with interest,
excitement, concern, worry, sympathy, and annoyance.
Now say, "Congratulations" filled with joy for someone. Now say
it sarcastically,
Now imagine you are consoling someone for a loss and say, "I am so
sorry for your loss." Without any emotion and now say it with emotion.
When I analyze influential people's apology statements to the media, I listen
to them, and I am sorry statement to hear how they say it. (If they do) and it
tells me so much about whether they feel remorse. )
A fun example is how Joey on Friends says, "How are you doing?"
By vocally emphasizing the YOU that makes the listener feel that he is speaking
directly to them in a suggestive sexual way. ( And yes he has a facial expression
that goes with it)
3. My thought on this is that I wonder
how a wearable can detect the more subtle changes in your voice. When you're
sad or nervous, your voice may shake—but on a day-to-day basis, how might
something like this be useful for people? 4 What is more subtle ways
emotion show up in speech?
4. I think it could help people who struggle
with depression and other issues self monitor their emotional state so they can
give themselves more self-care.
At this moment, Under
COVID 19 many people are dealing with
more stress and anxiety, and depression than under normal circumstances.
This device could help monitor e how they feel before their emotions
become more debilitating. For someone
with more severe issues, the device could be life-changing. For example,
someone with bipolar disorder could detect if they are going into a depressive
or manic state and self soothes by breathing meditating or stepping away from
an overstimulating event or stopping dangerous behavior like drinking or
gambling, call a friend, or their therapist.
It might help someone that has issues with a temper and
dangerous anger issues self-monitor as some people don't hear their voices
change. I.e., "I AM NOT YELLING."
It could help someone that is more C corrector on the DISC assessment
of behavior differences that are typically not very emotional in their delivery
to create more emotional nuisances in their essential communications.
The technology has existed for years in the form of VSA,
Voice Stress Analysis to detect deception. Conceivably if you could use the
wearable to monitor the stress in your voice to reduce it to be a better liar,
this could be dangerous for others, primarily if used by someone on the Dark
Triad like a Malignant Narcissists. They already use their skills at reading
people to manipulate their delivery to "appear" other than are to
feed their need for emotional supply.
5. Anything else you'd like to add?
You may know this, but I love it. We know
that your voice sounds different when you are smiling, a genuine zygomatic
smile than when you are "fake" smiling. Your vocal cords and larynx
change when you smile. Research shows
that listeners can identify the type of smile someone is displaying based on the
sound of their voice alone. (Smile -- And The World Can Hear You,
Even If You Hide
7
Quick Ways to Feel More Energetic Without Drugs or Caffeine.
How
to Use Your Body Language to Feel More Energetic.
How
you hold your body can actually change how you feel, in less than a 1/40
of second. If you hold and move your body the way you want to feel your bodies
chemistry can change in a fraction of a second. Your posture and movement
create a message that acts like a doctor’s prescription the message is sent
through your neural synapsis to the
brains pharmacy. The brain notes the posture and movements and creates
chemicals that match and sends them out into your blood stream so you begin to
feel chemically the way your body language is held or moves. If you drag around
head down feeling tired your will get the chemicals that make your feel more
tired. You think your
body language reflects your fatigue and lack of energy but you can change your
energy by how you hold and move your body. I have been writing about the
biochemistry aspects for over 30 years. (In her Ted Talk Amy Cuddly speaks about Power Poses using
research about this phenomenon.
Keep your body language “up.” Up energetic body language is
beautifully symbolic–you go up when you’re feeling up. In addition up body
language brings your posture up in way that allows more deep full lung capacity
breathing with gives you more oxygenated blood, thus more energy. Though the
steps may seem wacky, if your are feeling sluggish and just want to lay down
and take a nap, these methods can charge you up very quickly.
Five Quick Ways to Use Your Body Language to Feel More
Energetic
You can have fun for second and
pretend you’re a conductor leading and orchestra. Coincidently researches so
conductors tend to live longer and they believe one of the reasons is their
high gesturing that increases their oxygen. You can pretend like you have just
won an Olympic competition and bring both hands up above your head and hold
them there for three seconds, lower them then raise them again. You can dance
to Pink’s song, “Raise Your Glass”, “YMCA” or Taylor Swifts, “Shake it Off.”
All contain up gestures! (I just love the up shake it off body language at the
end of Taylor Swifts Shake it Off video! The link to it is hear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
1. At what point in your life did you realize that you were an
Introvert? When I was an undergrad student in Nonverbal Communication at
Florida State or Dean of Communication, Dean Clevenger came into our classes to
give us the Myers Briggs test. I tested as an extrovert, but when we had our
meeting about my results, he told me I was an introvert and why he knew that. Including
that I loved going to study in the library every night! He said he wanted me to
know I was, in actuality, an introvert. He said he knew I thought it was better
to be an extrovert had unknowingly skewed my answers on my Myers Briggs test to
be an extrovert. He said he had done the same thing when he first took the test,
and he was an introvert. He said, "I know you want to go to grad school,
and I want you to know you will thrive because of your intelligence and
introversion." Dean Clevenger said, "Be proud of the fact that you
gain energy from being alone and don't judge yourself by the Extrovert world
standard." He gave me some of the best insights and advice I have ever received
that day, and he went on to be a mentor, and later offered me a partnership in
a consulting business he had with another
professor. To this day, I hold him to be one o the most exceptional human
beings I have ever know. He was a man of strong character and morals and kindness.
2. Did people ever give you a hard time because of your introversion?
My mother gave me a hard time my entire childhood and adult life because I was
an introvert, and she was an extrovert, and she thought there was something
horribly wrong with me. As a child, I was chastised for as she said, "… always
having my head in a book." She would constantly berate me for reading and
would even rip my book out of my hand and tell me to go out and play with other
kids. Later she wanted me to go down to
the clubhouse to the bar and meet a nice divorced man. Even when I was visiting
her on my grad school vacations and had textbooks on statistics, I was studying,
and she wanted me to go down to the bar and meet a nice man. I never went to the
club or bar, that would have been agony for my introverted personality. This judgment of me was one of the reasons I
was so grateful to my Dean for explaining. It was great to be introverted, and
there was nothing wrong with me.
3. What strategies have you
evolved to fight back? In both junior
high and high school, the school library staff asked me to work at the school
library because I checked out more books than any student that they ever had.
So I knew that reading was a good actor, so I kept checking out books, and I
would read in my room out of sight of my mother! I became a keen observer of people and carried
a little notebook with me wherever I went to write what I saw about people,
mostly in the form of poetry and songs. I also kept a journal. In college the
dorm at school that was so noisy because we had sixty girls partying on my floor
and the doors of everyone's rooms where open because we had airconditioning, I
went to the library. I embraced the quiet and the company of other introverts.
Later I studied and got degrees to become one of the world's top body language
experts. I embraced being a watcher!
4. Tips for people who are struggling to make peace with their
introversion? Find role models who are
introverts. Keep a diary or journal so
you can see how full your internal life is. Notice how often you are at peace when you are
by yourself or with close friends and family and let gratitude for that peace
wash over you. Embrace the fact that you can be in the present moment and don't
have the leave your house to find energy and engagement.