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What Does Rubbing the Nose or Putting Your Hand Over Your Mouth Mean?

What Does Rubbing the Nose or Putting Your Hand Over Your Mouth Mean?
By Patti Wood MA, Body Language Expert
Author of “SNAP! Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma”

Have you ever wondered what someone was thinking but not saying?  Let’s say you see a prospect rubbing their nose. It could just mean he has allergies. How do you know that’s all it is or if it reveals something more? The first secret is the timing of the “Tell.” If someone has allergies they would throughout the conversation, because his allergies would continue to bother him. But let’s say, he wasn’t rubbing his nose, and then suddenly right as you ask about his budget to go forward with the purchase, he rubs his nose. A sudden cue is more likely to be a “tell” that reveals that the person’s discomfort is coming from the conversation occurring at that moment. A nose, eye and ear rubbing can, depending on what is going on in the moment, signify disbelief, disagreement, and dishonesty as in, “Boy, this doesn’t smell right to me!”

A signal called a mouth guard is also revealing. Someone may cover their mouth throughout a conversation, simply because he is self-conscious about his teeth or smile, but often when someone covers their mouth for an entire interaction, and also gives submissive cues, the mouth guard can signal nervousness, shyness or a lack of self-esteem. We tend to spontaneously put our hands over our mouths so the truth won’t come out.  A prospect may cover their mouth when he does not want someone to know he is upset, lying or because he is suppressing a negative thought.  You can learn revealing nonverbal cues and how to follow the “Easy Steps” conversation plan to get to the truth in my program Body Honesty, Deception Detection.  Below is an outline of the program and if you would like me to present this program to your group, just give me a call or email me.

Course Description –Body Honesty, Deception Detection

Can you read body honesty? You can send and receive up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute of interaction. That is all potential information for you to use. Whatever insights you already have into body language and nonverbal communication would you like to know even more? Do you know particular words and phrases that signal someone is lying? Would you like to know the newest research and cutting edge techniques to discover someone is telling you the truth or lying and how to question effectively if you think they are lying?

You need to be aware of what customers are saying to you and you need to be closely monitoring for honesty and deception cues given non-verbally with voice cues and body language. Research on deception confirms that these cues give the most accurate indication of people truest emotions and can reveal most accurately when someone is lying.

In this program you will not only learn to watch for cues but also to  use questioning techniques and  special "monitoring" cues of your own to check for honesty. In addition, you will learn how to be credible in your business and personal relationships.

You are very skilled at you do and knowing new techniques for detecting deception can take you to the next level. You will get a “people" microscope, magic "night/deception" vision goggles and high tech hearing deception tools. You will suddenly see and understand things you have never seen and heard before. Whatever skills you have now, these insights can make you much more confident and more successful. This workshop gives you very specific and practical tools to help you read body honesty.

Some of the insights include:
• How to tell the difference  between nervousness and deception cues
• How to get a “baseline” of behavior to get the best read
• The best way to hold your hands to show truthfulness
• How introverts and extroverts lie differently
• The difference between a real smile and a masking smile
• What the movement of the eyes reveal about our thoughts
• The role of body and facial animation as an honesty indicator
• How the heart and other "body windows" hide or reveal emotions
• How tongue lip and mouth movements reveal lies. .
• What part of the body is the most "honest?"
• What parts of the face are the most deceptive?
• How to read pauses and word usage
• What space and territory reveal about truth telling
• The role of body and facial animation as an honesty indicator
• How the heart and other body windows reveal emotions.
• What is the best way to "catch" a liar?
• …And Much More


How to spot a liar pretest
Body language and Nonverbal Communication           
-The brain body connection that changes how you and the physician feel
-Paired exercise - arms up and out and yell
-How to read body language in the right context and order to increase your accuracy.


Space, Territory, and Body Windows
-How space affects level of self-disclosure and honesty
-How seating strategy affects your "read"           
-How is power communicated non-verbally and how that affect the "read"
-How to read body windows of the feet, legs, heart, palms, neck, eyes, and head.
-Group exercise “watching body windows”    
              
Kinesthetic
-How to watch for leakage cues in hand movements
-Gestures and what they mean
-How people use artifacts to block


Establishing Rapport and trust
-Matching and Mirroring
-How to accurately match voices over the phone and in person.
-Matching Body Language
-Matching Breathing
-Paired Exercises


Facial Expressions
-Facial Expressions and what they can tell you
-Facial Expression cue sheet
           
The Eyes Have It
-Eye Contact
-Rapid Eye Blinks
-Breaking Eye Contact
-Paired exercise


How to check for honesty by what you say and do  
   
Questioning techniques and information gathering


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Successful People Spend 10 Hours a Week in “Compound Time” of Play and Open Creative Expression

Successful People Spend 10 Hours a Week in
“Compound Time” of Play and Open Creative Expression

What do you do to open up your mind and be in flow? What can you do each day and week to be a leader, a change maker?  It’s having “Compound Time.”

Before I read the article below I thought I was just living a blissful life. I journal, walk and read every day, get coaching on my books and songs and I just had my first guitar lesson. Those are ways of compounding your time and I know those rituals in my life, make it blissful, fulfilling and highly creative!



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Quickest Way to Spot a Lie

Patti shared her insights on the quickest way to spot a lie with the Today Show.  See her insights highlighted below and check out the entire article at the link below.


The Quickest Way to Spot a Lie

Sure, you may think you’re pretty good at reading people. But can you really catch a smooth liar in action?

It’s possible, and body language is the crucial clue: your body language, that is. It turns out that you may actually be able to detect deception by paying attention to your own body’s reactions.
“Typically we think about watching and observing the other person to catch them in a lie,” body language expert Patti Wood, the author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma," told TODAY. “Paying attention to your body can be incredibly useful.”
That’s because your subconscious picks up thousands of cues per minute, Wood said — far more than you could ever detect by watching someone for a particular tic. Typically, liars subtly demonstrate a number of stress cues that your body will pick up on, she explained.

As it takes in those subconscious cues, your body will start to respond: You may feel a little nauseous, get a headache or funny feeling in your stomach, start sweating or change the pace of your breathing. According to Wood, that’s because your body is actually alerting you that something is not quite right — that the person in front of you is stressed for some reason.

Body language and communication expert Dr. Lillian Glass agreed. “When someone lies, your own autonomic nervous system can pick it up,” she told TODAY. Your face might then react, for instance, you might automatically purse your lips, squint your eyes or cock your head to the side, Glass said.
“If you pay attention to your own reactions in terms of the nuances of your own body language, it can help validate that you have just heard a lie,” Glass said.

There are a few caveats, though. First of all, an experienced liar (such as a sociopath) may not give off as many stress cues, meaning your body may not react the same way. Furthermore, you could be creating that stressful situation yourself if you go into a situation trying to “catch” someone in a lie, Wood said — meaning you can’t trust your own body’s responses there, either. Instead, try to cultivate a demeanor that is credible, honest and trustworthy, so someone feels safe entrusting you with the truth, Wood advised.
And always remember exactly why you’re hoping to catch someone in a lie.

“We sometimes are looking for these cues so that we don’t have to have a difficult conversation with somebody,” Wood said. “Ask yourself, what is the result that I want?” Be honest with yourself about your motivations — because even if you do catch someone in a lie, you have to be prepared to handle the truth after that.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Alpha Signals Are Not Clear Signals a Man is Unfaithful

Do Alpha Signals mean a man is unfaithful? Not really! Here are my notes for the story I did for "The Independent." If you look at my notes below then read the article at the below link you can see a difference in what I sent them and the story. 


Alpha signals are not automatically a signal that a man is being unfaithful. However attraction and sex may create an increase in testosterone and creates subtle changes in the body like increased skin tone. Men may also preen standing taller. So they may be seen a bigger. They may also increase their size by elevating and pushing out their chest, pulling back their shoulders and giving off strong alpha male signals.

The broad leg stance is particularly interesting. Legs held apart when standing provide a stable base for the person. Standing with feet about the width of the shoulders is a normal, relaxed pose.

Slightly wider indicates that the person feels grounded and confident.  A wider stance makes the body wider and hence appear bigger and is a signal of power and dominance. This also takes up more territory and shows domination.  Taking a stable position is readying the body in case the other person attacks. So it may show that a man has a new mate he wants to guard.

Open legs displays makes the males sex organs vulnerable, showing, “I am so strong you won’t even attempt to hurt me, I am fearless." This display can be a sexual display (especially men to women) or a show of power (especially between men).

Legs planted firmly and far apart (more than 9 inches apart) is primarily a mail pelvic display. It is a way of saying, “This is my space, I own it and I am not moving.”  It’s an alpha signal because it highlights the male’s external sex organs saying, “I am man.”


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

5 Reasons Women Believe Their Cheating Lovers Aren't Lying

The media piece I did last week on the body language signs of cheating just came out this morning.



That piece inspired me to write:


"5 Reasons Women Believe Their Cheating Lovers Aren’t Lying” 
by Patti Wood professional speaker and author of 
"Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma"

If you read this and suspect your sweetie of cheating talk to him. You may get an honest response. Do know that if you see the signs and wonder why you didn’t notice and fell for the deceit you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Here are four reasons you may have been fooled.

Loving body language is the opposite of lying body language - I share in all my Establishing Credibility and Detecting Deception programs that the research on deception shows that the person you love can lie with the greatest ease. In part because loving body language is the antithesis of deception body language and in addition your love makes you want to trust.

Let’s just look at just a few of the body language cues that can confuse you. When people lie they tend to withdrawal, not touch you and not match and mirror your body language. Your love partner may be physically close, sleep in the same bed, touch you, match and mirror you and even continue to make significant eye contact, and other loving cues that can fool you into thinking they are truth tellers. Most people feel guilty when they lie and or fear being discovered so they show stress cues when they lie and have difficulty lying well. So Everyday liars have tells! 
Professional liars such as undercover cops, may not feel guilt because they need to lie to do their job and survive. And liars who have mental health issues may not have tells because they just plain don't feel guilt or remorse.  

Your love can create a “Truth Bias”Research shows that as we become more trusting, we also become more confident, but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told (Levine & McCornack, 1992; McCornack & Parks, 1986)

When people are in love, they of course feel close and trust in their romantic partners and know them well and think they know everything about them. While this trust provides people with a sense of security and comfort, it creates an opportunity for deception called the “truth bias.” Your blind faith in your love makes you ripe for deceit as the very foundation of intimacy is that you trust so who is a better victim than the person who believes you the most!

You may think you have gained an extra special ability detect lies from your love- Because you spend so much time with them and believe their is intimacy you think you know them like no one else knows them. In fact, as intimacy increase so does your confidence in your ability to read you man. Even when part of you feel there is something wrong if someone else tells you, "He is lying", or "He is dating someone else." You may feel or say, "Oh, I know him, he would never do that."

You may have lost trust in yourself that would help you be discerning - You may also get lost in the instability of the crazy tilt and whirl. E
ven when you do know something is wrong, and talk to your partner and they continue to lie, to the extent you begin to lose faith in instincts and question your very honest and accurate feelings of insecurity. You can tilt back and forth between absolute trust and absolute lack of trust. You can look them in the eye and say, “I know something’s wrong.” And they can look you in the eye and say, “Darling I would never do anything to hurt you,” and lean in to kiss you and rub your back. You feel at a gut level the  mismatch of love and deception being presented together. It can be intense and painful. You want to claim the love message’s truth but at some level you know something is wrong. This may swirl you into a crazy tilt and whirl of instability. Again the messages of love and the messages of a lack of love that feel like the lack of love or decent, "I love you I want you I need you, but I have to go out of town for a week and I will be out of touch." The cheater can even create this crazy tilt and whirl without malice. They may love you, but they lie because they just happen to also love and or be attracted to someone else too. Or they may create the crazy ride out of more selfish reasons, such as the desire for power, control, thrills or mental health issues such as narcissism. (Google the term Love Bombing for more information for more information on the more malicious form of this crazy making.) 

Some lovers are really good at lying - Lying over and over again on a sometimes daily basis to your lover can make you an expert liar. That doesn't make them inherently horrible people, just people that may no longer give you the normal nonverbal and verbal signs of deceit. Some lying lovers may justify their lying by saying to themselves, "I don't want her to know because it would hurt her and I want to save her pain." and therefore not show nonverbal signs of guilt. Their fear level may be low, as they know they have succeeded at lying in the past. Conversely lying lovers may have a desire for excitement and or feelings of power that living on the edge, and undercover may provide. They may get some of that power derived from the “dupers delight,” that thrill some people get at fooling someone. They also may be “good” at lying because they generally love the partner they are cheating on or may think that in order not to lose them and or their lifestyle they must lie. Survival liars can also rationalize their lies in a way that reduces and eliminates normal deception cues. The carnival ride that the cheater can create that may allow them to continue their deceit and from which, in some cases, may allow them to continue to feel powerful, and or believe that they had a right to cheat because you are needy or crazy. Fascinating because they are the instigators of that instability, they run the crazy tilt and whirl.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.