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What the Way You Hold Your Handbag Says About You

What the Way You Hold Your Handbag Says About You

Find out what a body language expert has to say about the way you tote around your bag.

Drawings by Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com

The secrets of the hold

We often spend a lot of time trying to pick out which bag to carry on the daily, and that preferred purse says a lot about you. But not much second thought is given into the way we choose to carry it. Whether you like to showcase it in your hand, elbow crook, or across the shoulder, it's actually not a random decision. According to body language experts, it can say a lot about our inherent personality. We spoke with Patti Wood, body language expert and speaker, to find out exactly how to decipher hidden messages in the way we present our go-to accessory. She has spent over 30 years conducting research, writing books, and speaking about body language. "I am fascinated by purse behavior," notes Wood. "Purses are a gender identifier: a way to show your status, your taste and creativity, and personality."

Over one shoulder with bag close to body

You're practical and need others to prove that they are worthy of your trust. When you meet new people, you look for these signs that they can be trusted. As someone mainly looking to get things done, you don't like to waste your time with little things. Your cautious and wary tendency means that you feel the need to be smart in public and watch out for yourself. According to Wood, "If you tightly grip the bag and pull it, it's more likely fear, lower self-esteem, or concern of your purse being stolen."
Over one shoulder with bag swinging freely

Different from the hands-free look, your purse hangs freely on one side of your body, not your front. You are characterized by your spontaneous, carefree attitude and like to take life as it comes. People know you as being confident and self-assured. Wood also notes that you like your style to show, but you still want a certain amount of freedom. You don't put priority on designer labels and brand names; the swinging and open style indicates that you favor functionality over display. Whichever brand you choose, these are some things you should never keep in your purse.

In the crook of your elbow

This approach depicts a flaunting of prestige and authority. You put priority on status and position, and can indicate that you are carrying a purse with a heftier price tag. While you may sometimes be referred to as "high maintenance," you know what you expect to receive from the world. (Take this quiz to find out how high maintenance you really are.) According to Wood, the arm crook can carry the most width, so carrying a bigger bag signals that you like to be seen. "I see celebrities do this with their big double-handled high status bags. Part of it is the weight and breadth; if they don't hold it this way, it makes their body look bigger and matronly in photos. If it's held out more from your body, a common style practiced by A-listers, it depicts power. You're wearing the bag as if it's a badge of honor or an award. You feel as if you've got a sense of superiority."

In your hand

This style exudes a more sophisticated and put-together quality. People think of you as being assertive, well-organized, and efficient. This is the most comparable to carrying a briefcase and can communicate the importance of the person's job. Your ambitious attributes shine through, and you excel at focusing on the task at hand, probably because you're armed with these things you keep in your purse to help you be more productive. People also tend to carry a bag this way when they want to attract more attention to the outfit itself—you don't want your purse to be attached to it. Instead, the purse merely becomes a separate accessory to accentuate your clothing.

In front of body with both hands

Body language experts refer to this as "twofurr," which indicates shyness and a need to protect oneself. You may suffer from anxiety in social scenarios and prefer to stay out of the spotlight. "I see young women do this in public situations where they don't know people or in stress situations, and if they are generally shy," Wood says. These are the signs your social anxiety is actually a disorder.

Cross-body with bag in front

You want as much freedom of movement possible, coupled with a feeling of protection and accessibility. This method allows for the most convenience to be able to get into your bag, but until then you want to move through the world easily without feeling encumbered. "Function is more important than appearance in any cross-body bag," says Wood. "Some people carry and use cross-body bags and they think it is the safest, easiest, and most secure if you are a walking a lot. You see this in people who live in big cities like New York and with people who travel a lot." Sound like you? Then, you need these tips on how to pack lighter when you travel.

Cross-body with bag in back

You tote around a cool, calm, and collected personality that is more trusting of others. You are also walking with a clear goal in mind, and the bag is analogous to your autonomous individuality. You don't like to concern yourself with the things you have to carry—Instead, you're great at shaking off life's burdens and like to view life through a more casual, relaxed lens. In fact, your bra may reveal the same thing about your personality.

Backpack

People who sport a backpack are more independent and want to take care of themselves and the people around them. While freedom is important, you primarily like to be prepared for any situation. Steal these back-to-school tips to keep your backpack organized wherever you go. Unlike cross-body gals, you don't like to leave anything to chance and tend to be the most reliable one of the group. You strongly believe in healthy living and find comfort in having a sense of belonging. In addition, your natural nurturing instinct may be stronger than others. You don't stress about what other people think of you—you determine your own coolness and pride yourself on being self-sufficient.

No bag at all

If you neglect a bag altogether, you imply a privileged position where others (whether it be a boyfriend or assistant) carries the load for you. This personality is the most self-assured of them all; you have so much going on for you that carrying a bag is not something you have to concern yourself with. On the other hand, it could just mean that you are completely unencumbered and want to move freely. According to Wood, in this case it indicates that you are very secure in your own identity, and you like to be defined by who you are as opposed to the things you wear. Curious what your other accessories say about you? This is what your shoes reveal about your personality.


Link to Readers Digest article - https://www.rd.com/culture/handbag-hold-personality/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language in the Workplace


Patti shared with Family Circle Magazine her insights into Body Language in the Workplace in the October 2017 issue of Family Circle.  Check the link below:

https://www.scribd.com/document/359610999/Family-Circle-October-2017

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

12 Travel Hacks to Make Your Hotel Room More Comfortable and What to pack for your next trip.

I am a professional speaker and have been traveling every week for over 25 years. 

  1. I use potato chip bag clips to clip curtains, (They are much better than clothes pins) I also carry duct tape to tape the right and left edges of the curtains to the walls. I also use it to go over the clock and other little white lights that seem to be on the light switches, floor plugs, lamps and all over hotel rooms these days. Hate them.
  2. I carry a hot pink velour tract suit jacket to keep warm and to put over the bed side lamp to keep the horrible blue light bulb light from keeping me awake and to give my hotel room a nice soft pink glow. It's lovely. I may also carry the red piece of plastic from Wal Mart to tape over other blue lights.
  3. www.walmart.com/ip/American-DJ-CGS-9A-9x9-Gel-Sheet-Packet-A/24672214?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=1193&adid=22222222227018333929&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=75836275714&wl4=pla-176138869234&wl5=9010772&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=112561658&wl11=online&wl12=24672214&wl13=&veh=sem 
  4. Even though I ask that my hotel room bill NOT be put under my door as it wakes me up!!! Hotels still do it. So I tape a note on the bottom of the door outside my hotel room. With a drawing of the bill under door with a circle with a cross through it. By the way, they still untape the sign and sometimes and ram the bill through!!!
  5. Sometimes the hotel room air is very, very dry and hard on my voice as I am a professional speaker, There are too many germs in the shower to run the shower steam and that wastes water, so I take a wash cloth and soak it in hot water and breathe that steam and hot water in and sometimes lay it on my face and lay down for a moment, so it's also calming.
  6. I work out when I travel and if I strain anything I either use the dry cleaning bag and fill it with ice or my shower cap to wrap say a strained knee.
  7. The ice bucket liner, the dry cleaning bag in the closet or my shower cap can also be used to pack a wet bathing suit or spilled make up or shampoo.
  8. Because I have hacked the ice bag trick so many times I also pack a few gallon zip locked freezer bags. Freezer bags or the ice bucket lining can be used to go over the channel changer so you don’t have to touch that germy device. I don’t typically watch TV when I travel, but sometimes I need to comment on the body language of some public figure so I have it ready.
  9. I carry a pumice stone it can take off magic marker and other stains from your hands if you are very gentle in a pinch so can a cardboard nail file. 
  10. I have a little photo of me with my family taped to a bent piece of cardboard that I put on my bedside table in the hotel room. It's wonderfully comforting. 
  11. I ask the bellman to unplug the mini fridge for me as the sound drives me crazy, but I have figured out how to get behind almost any cabinet to unplug it myself. 
  12. I take the sheet from the second bed or get a sheet from house keeping to lay on top of the bedspread as the bedspread my be germy and I want to be able to pull it up and use it. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

10 Tips For Looking Young In a Job Interview!!!

I just got a media request for ways to look young in a job interview. Here are some tips I rewrote  from my book, "People Savvy."

·         Think up and move up: Practice walking so your whole body lifts up. When you walk into a room hold your shoulders back and your head up.This communicates youth, power and confidence. Nose down or you'll look like a snob!
·         Smile and shake hands: Make eye contact right away, smile and put out your hand for a handshake. Make full contact with your palm to their palm, pump with extra energy.
·         Say it strong: During personal interactions, make sure your voice shows your energy and enthusiasm, stresses Wood. Hold the strength and volume of your voice all the way to the end of a sentence. Speak with energy and lots of joy to sound young.
·         No repeats: Get your hearing and eyesight checked professionally. If you squint, have trouble reading, and have dated eye wear, you look old. If you ask for things to be repeated because you are hard of hearing, you look old and out of touch. I have coached clients who bent over and arched forward as they walked and or interacted looking much older than they were, because they were straining to see and or hear.
·         Fashion flair: Dress current in colors, style and jewelry, including your watches (Young people don’t wear watches, the carry cell phones). Peruse high-end stores to get ideas -- then buy something similar at Winners or Marshalls.
·         Take a seat. Research reveals that women tend to perch on the edge of their seats, while men tend to slouch. But perching the entire time will make you look less powerful. "Sit back in the chair, use lots of space, and put you arms on the armrest to look confident." And sit up straight, guys! Slouching makes people look old and tired rather than vital and energetic. "Sit forward slowly as you share certain information your confident in."
·         No purse: "Your purse not only sends a strong female signal, it gives you one more thing to worry about and fuss over. When woman sit down they usually have over 16 separate movements. Men have three and look much more together and organized." If you can't go empty handed, consider a high end leather folder. If a purse is a must, be sure your purse is the newest hippest purse. Fashion forward. streamlined and small!!!!  in black, brown or tan It should not necessarily match your shoes as being matchy matchy is old school and dates your look.
·         Go for color. Accessorize with a flattering color around your face. You want to wear hip, hot colors that make your skin glow and make you feel good."
·         Don't wear your glasses down on your nose. Glasses that come down on your nose, even a little bit make you look much older. Keep your glasses tightened and high on your face. Again, think up."
·         Press shirt and jacket collars to perfection and, whenever you can, wear them so they go "up" to create lift around you

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Does Rubbing the Nose or Putting Your Hand Over Your Mouth Mean?

What Does Rubbing the Nose or Putting Your Hand Over Your Mouth Mean?
By Patti Wood MA, Body Language Expert
Author of “SNAP! Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma”

Have you ever wondered what someone was thinking but not saying?  Let’s say you see a prospect rubbing their nose. It could just mean he has allergies. How do you know that’s all it is or if it reveals something more? The first secret is the timing of the “Tell.” If someone has allergies they would throughout the conversation, because his allergies would continue to bother him. But let’s say, he wasn’t rubbing his nose, and then suddenly right as you ask about his budget to go forward with the purchase, he rubs his nose. A sudden cue is more likely to be a “tell” that reveals that the person’s discomfort is coming from the conversation occurring at that moment. A nose, eye and ear rubbing can, depending on what is going on in the moment, signify disbelief, disagreement, and dishonesty as in, “Boy, this doesn’t smell right to me!”

A signal called a mouth guard is also revealing. Someone may cover their mouth throughout a conversation, simply because he is self-conscious about his teeth or smile, but often when someone covers their mouth for an entire interaction, and also gives submissive cues, the mouth guard can signal nervousness, shyness or a lack of self-esteem. We tend to spontaneously put our hands over our mouths so the truth won’t come out.  A prospect may cover their mouth when he does not want someone to know he is upset, lying or because he is suppressing a negative thought.  You can learn revealing nonverbal cues and how to follow the “Easy Steps” conversation plan to get to the truth in my program Body Honesty, Deception Detection.  Below is an outline of the program and if you would like me to present this program to your group, just give me a call or email me.

Course Description –Body Honesty, Deception Detection

Can you read body honesty? You can send and receive up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute of interaction. That is all potential information for you to use. Whatever insights you already have into body language and nonverbal communication would you like to know even more? Do you know particular words and phrases that signal someone is lying? Would you like to know the newest research and cutting edge techniques to discover someone is telling you the truth or lying and how to question effectively if you think they are lying?

You need to be aware of what customers are saying to you and you need to be closely monitoring for honesty and deception cues given non-verbally with voice cues and body language. Research on deception confirms that these cues give the most accurate indication of people truest emotions and can reveal most accurately when someone is lying.

In this program you will not only learn to watch for cues but also to  use questioning techniques and  special "monitoring" cues of your own to check for honesty. In addition, you will learn how to be credible in your business and personal relationships.

You are very skilled at you do and knowing new techniques for detecting deception can take you to the next level. You will get a “people" microscope, magic "night/deception" vision goggles and high tech hearing deception tools. You will suddenly see and understand things you have never seen and heard before. Whatever skills you have now, these insights can make you much more confident and more successful. This workshop gives you very specific and practical tools to help you read body honesty.

Some of the insights include:
• How to tell the difference  between nervousness and deception cues
• How to get a “baseline” of behavior to get the best read
• The best way to hold your hands to show truthfulness
• How introverts and extroverts lie differently
• The difference between a real smile and a masking smile
• What the movement of the eyes reveal about our thoughts
• The role of body and facial animation as an honesty indicator
• How the heart and other "body windows" hide or reveal emotions
• How tongue lip and mouth movements reveal lies. .
• What part of the body is the most "honest?"
• What parts of the face are the most deceptive?
• How to read pauses and word usage
• What space and territory reveal about truth telling
• The role of body and facial animation as an honesty indicator
• How the heart and other body windows reveal emotions.
• What is the best way to "catch" a liar?
• …And Much More


How to spot a liar pretest
Body language and Nonverbal Communication           
-The brain body connection that changes how you and the physician feel
-Paired exercise - arms up and out and yell
-How to read body language in the right context and order to increase your accuracy.


Space, Territory, and Body Windows
-How space affects level of self-disclosure and honesty
-How seating strategy affects your "read"           
-How is power communicated non-verbally and how that affect the "read"
-How to read body windows of the feet, legs, heart, palms, neck, eyes, and head.
-Group exercise “watching body windows”    
              
Kinesthetic
-How to watch for leakage cues in hand movements
-Gestures and what they mean
-How people use artifacts to block


Establishing Rapport and trust
-Matching and Mirroring
-How to accurately match voices over the phone and in person.
-Matching Body Language
-Matching Breathing
-Paired Exercises


Facial Expressions
-Facial Expressions and what they can tell you
-Facial Expression cue sheet
           
The Eyes Have It
-Eye Contact
-Rapid Eye Blinks
-Breaking Eye Contact
-Paired exercise


How to check for honesty by what you say and do  
   
Questioning techniques and information gathering


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.