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How to Gain Power and Confidence, Body Language Tips to Look and Feel Confident.

The broader your stance typically the more powerful you feel or want to feel. There’s physics to it the more space you take up the less of a pushover you are as well as a message of the power you send to others. A standard stance for women is feet four to six inches apart. So, you can slightly widen your stance, even an inch would help you feel more grounded and powerful. Again you don’t need to make it a lot bigger to have an effect on you. Even the choice to widen your stance shifts your emotions and gives you a feeling of control over the situation.

So note, our feet communicate exactly what we think and feel more honestly than another part of our bodies. (Morris, 1985, 244) Generally, people are focused on controlling their facial expressions and torsos and upper body while communicating, the feet are vital to us responding to danger and stress we need them to freeze, flee, fight, fall.  By broadening your stance you look like you stronger but don’t widen so much that the other person or people think you have gone into full fight mode.


When you monitoring your self check out your own feet how you feel about your self the topic or situation and the other person or people you are with. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Chris' Body Language With Katie Compared To Jen On ‘Bachelor In Paradise’


Chris' Body Language With Katie Compared To Jen 

On "Bachelor In Paradise"


Link here for the full story with the photos. My reads without the photos are below the link. 

https://bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/2019/08/chris-body-language-with-katie-compared.html

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/chris-body-language-with-katie-compared-to-jen-on-bachelor-in-paradise-shows-hes-torn-18695052


For reference, Chris is definitely (probably) here for the right reasons. Chris previously appeared on The Bachelorette in 2012, then on Season 3 of Bachelor Pad before heading to Bachelor In Paradise for Seasons 1 and 2. Clearly he's had a wild ride and no luck, and he seems to want to finally settle down and meet someone special this time around.
But is that someone special Katie, or could it be Jen? Honestly, Chris seems pretty confused himself, so I reached out to body language expert Patti Wood to see if there was a clear frontrunner based on Chris' body language with each woman. Here's what she had to say.

1. With Katie, Chris

For anyone who knows Katie, it's obvious that she can be a real goofball. This moment between Katie and Chris is a prime example. "His arms are folded close with lots of tension, see the muscles tighten and see how his head and neck are arched forward," Wood says of this moment. "He is not comfortable or trusting this to work."
It might have just been a little scary for Chris to let Katie pop his back, but according to his body language, he wasn't all that into it.
As Katie and Chris talked on the beach (before Jen even arrived) they seemed to be enjoying each other's company. "I like how they are sitting together and laughing," Wood says, "but note how she has her arm closest to him up and blocking him, and her right arm out in a 'make myself bigger' pose. Also notice that he has his knee up high, blocking, and his arm closest to her, [also] blocking and making himself bigger."
As much as they're laughing, Wood says that their body language shows they're both still a little apprehensive. "The most interesting tell is his hand wrapped around his thigh," she adds. "That shows he is protecting himself sexually from her while being aware of her, sexually." Interesting. Seems like Old Man Chris is super into Katie, but perhaps a little worried about getting his heart broken.
While Jen and Chris' date wasn't all sunshine and roses, it wasn't anyone's fault. The two took a catamaran trip on the water and Chris ended up vomiting from seasickness. This isn't to say that their romance is doomed, but it wasn't a great start, and it seems like their body language echoes that.
"See how her feet are? Toes pointing toward and touching each other in a bit of self-consciousness and embarrassment?" Wood notes. She goes on to say that her particular pose is "sexual embarrassment, as we also see her knees fairly close together and her elbow out and arm resting over protectively." This was Jen and Chris' first date. She doesn't know him all that well, so it makes sense she would be a little guarded.
"Also note another set of guarding positions as you go up the body," Wood continues. "Her right arm over her chest and thumb up, hand curled near her mouth to suppress how she is really feeling." The boat date wasn't perfect, so perhaps Jen was just feeling a little anxious.
When Chris and Jen got off the boat, their date got ten times better. The two got to talk and bond, but Wood says that Chris' body language is super complicated in this moment. "He is very conflicted here," she says. "See his toes pointing toward one foot and the other down and away, his arm up around the back of the sofa to symbolically move to hold her."
Jen, on the other hand, was a bit more relaxed. "She is more intimate here," Wood says. "Feet up for woman is often pre-kiss." However, Wood also notes that if she was truly into Chris, her pelvis would be exposed in another "pre-kiss" move. Here, she seems to be "protecting, with her right elbow over her pelvis."

Only Chris can know what's in his heart, but it's clear he has a tough decision coming his way. Even Wood suggests that Chris' body language proves he doesn't yet know which woman makes him the happiest. I guess we'll have to wait and see who he gives his rose too when Bachelor In Paradise continues at 8 p.m. on Monday, Aug. 26, on ABC.

A Body Language Expert Breaks Down *That* Photo of Melania Trump and Justin Trudeau

A Body Language Expert Breaks Down *That* Photo of Melania Trump and Justin Trudeau



https://www.instyle.com/news/melania-trump-justin-trudeau-body-language

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/body-language-expert-breaks-down-150000400.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Clues About Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth’s Breakup We Should’ve Seen Coming







It's been a sad week for fans of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth after the couple announced their separation on August 10. News broke that the pair, who tied the knot in December 2018, decided to take some time apart, but neither party elaborated on just what went wrong. And although we can't know for sure unless either one of them speaks on it, there may be body language clues about Miley Cyrus Liam Hemsworth’s breakup that could have foreshadowed what was coming.
According to E! News, a representative for Cyrus confirmed the sad news over the weekend. "Liam and Miley have agreed to separate at this time," the statement from the representative said. "Ever-evolving, changing as partners and individuals, they have decided this is what's best while they both focus on themselves and careers. They still remain dedicated parents to all of the animals they share while lovingly taking this time apart. Please respect their process and privacy."
Even though it's impossible to pinpoint the exact reason why Cyrus and Hemsworth are taking time apart, there's a lot we might be able to tell by looking at their body language. Body language can reveal tons about a couple's dynamic, from the way their feet are positioned to where they place their hands. I asked two experts to take a look at the physical dynamic between Cyrus and Hemsworth before their split, and based on what they had to say, the breakup was almost inevitable.

Elite Daily Full Article
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Body Language of Listening

THE BODY LANGUAGE OF LISTENING

Remember to Be Gentler
by Patti Wood, MA, Professional Speaker  www.pattiwood.net

You’re sitting in the office with your client or customer as they talk about what they want or perhaps sharing the problems they are having with a product or service. You want them to know that you’re listening. You know it’s important to show concern, but you’re a little tired, or they’re going on and on or maybe they’re saying some negative things and you’re feeling a little defensive. What can you do to help focus and show that you are listening? What body language cues show that you are listening? Just like your sixth-grade teacher told you: be polite –be a gentleman or gentlewoman. 

Or you might be wondering if the person you are with is into you.  How can you tell?  What body language cues show he/she is into you?

Below are some body language cues that will help you in your business and personal relationships:

Give Facial Feedback
It is so easy to zone out as a listener, but when you do you can give a blank, open-mouthed look that resembles the face of a kid after five hours of cartoons. You’re not winning friends and influencing people. Drool is not very appealing. You must work your abs to have toned stomach muscles, and you must work your face to have toned empathetic skills. Let your facial expressions show your emotional response to the message. If they are concerned, show understanding by furrowing your brow. If they are unhappy, frown and lower your eyes. If they are mad, close and flatten out your lip like a sealed envelope. Briefly matching their facial expressions not only shows your customers that you are listening, it creates the same chemicals in your brain that body language shifts are creating in theirs and you will feel what they are feeling and understand them more effectively.

Eye Contact
A listener should give more eye contact than the speaker. Research suggests that if you want to have good rapport you should maintain eye-contact 60 to 70 percent of the time that someone is speaking to you. Females have been shown to be better at this than men and actually, need more eye contact from listeners in order to feel comfortable in the conversation. Even research on small children shows that little boys told to converse on a topic sat side by side and talked to each other staring off into space and little girls moved their chairs to face each other and watched each other with full attention for their entire conversation. This may be because dominance is communicated by either staring or a lack of eye contact. You need to make good eye contact. Research shows that a normal business gaze focuses on the eyes and the upper forehead and in a social gaze, the listener’s gaze drops down to include the nose and the mouth.

Eye contact is a good indicator of how interested someone is in you. For one thing, straight on eye contact makes people attractive. So, it follows that if your date is holding your gaze, they are both showing that they are interested in you as well as presenting their most attractive self.  That eye contact tends to be straight at you to show high attraction and to be highly attractive to you.

It's All in the Feet
If you really want to know how someone feels about you, Wood says to look down — all the way down — because feet don't lie. Feet pointed towards you is a clear sign that someone is into you. It’s a limbic brain response, where the feet point the heart follows.

Their Body Language is Open
There are windows all over your body. At your eyes at your neck, your heart, the palm of the hands your knees and the bottoms of your feet. They keep their windows open to you to show they feel safe and want to connect to you.

Nod Your Head
You do not have to have a bobble toy head, just occasionally nod your head to show you are listening and empathetic with the speaker’s message. A bonus of nodding your head is that it releases endorphin-like chemicals into your bloodstream to make you feel good and feel more affable about the speaker. Be aware that women nod their heads whether they agree with the speaker’s message or not. Men may think that you agree with them if you nod too much; so be careful not to give mere feedback “I’m Listening” nods if you disagree with what a man is saying.

Turn Off Technology
We have become so accustomed to answering the phone while looking at our computers, leaving our hands on the keyboards when someone comes into our offices to talk and leaving our cell phones and PDA’s on and attached to our waists at all times that we forget how rude all those things are. Signal your intent to really listen by turning away from your computer, letting phone calls go to voice mail, ignoring or turning off your cell phone or pager and saying out loud, “Let me turn this off while we talk.” It’s amazing what a difference it will make in the impression you will give to your customer--- because so few listeners take the time to be that polite

Lean Forward
Proximity, that is, being physically close, signals your desire to be emotionally or physiologically close. I don’t mean get in their face but, merely lean in toward the speaker. Research shows that in a seated conversation, a backward lean communicates that you are dominant. A forward lean shows interest.
In addition to keeping their body language open, the experts say to pay attention to the angle of their body. If your date tends to angle themselves toward you, that's a good sign. If someone is into you, they'll lean forward, their feet will point only to you and they may cross their legs towards you. This is especially true if the learning occurs when you are the one doing the talking since it shows real engagement and interest.

They Give You A True Smile
If someone is really attracted to you, the experts say their smile is a dead giveaway — that is, if it's a true smile. But what is a true smile? “A smile with both eyebrows raised extra high for a moment or a longer look than he or she gives anyone else. A true smile is one that also extends beyond the mouth and into the eyes. The easiest sign to look for is the smile with the mouth only, not with the eyes. True engagement is shown all with a smile in the eyes!”

Expose Your Heart
You do not need to unbutton your shirt and show your superman “S” to show you’re listening; just make sure that you turn towards the speaker. Orient the heart and ideally the upper portion of your body toward the speaker. People self-disclose more to listeners facing toward them. Even a quarter turn away signals a lack of interest to the speaker and makes the speaker shut down. It also says something about your response to the message. Research shows that when people feel under attack and/or defensive or have low self-esteem they protect their vulnerable heart area on their chest. Body language is a wonderfully symbolic language. To communicate you are an open, confident speaker and listener, you need to show your heart. 

There are gender differences. When men are sitting directly across a table or desk from one another, the desk or table almost acts as a castle wall and the direct heart-to-heart message changes to a challenge, creating a feeling of competition between men and making them share less than they do when they are seated side to side.

Remove Barriers
That means take away things that block the access or view of the speaker and you. The barrier used most often is the arms. Though we have over sixty different motivations for folding our arms, speakers see any arm fold as a barrier and a cue that you are not listening. In fact, of all the different body language postures, the arm fold is the most obvious indication of a lack of interest. You retain 30 percent less information from the speaker when you listen with your arms crossed. So, unfold your arms. In addition, move the phone, books or stacks of papers on the desk that sit between the front of your body and the speaker’s view. You can even show that you are blocking a speaker’s message by holding your beverage glass in front of your upper chest.

There is no greater gift to give to someone than your interest. Be GENTLER with your listening.

To learn more about using body language to increase your business success or contact Patti Wood at www.pattiwood.net.



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.