Interviewing, Couples body language link to article on WebMD with Patti Wood
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/body-language-basics?page=3
From a flip of the hair to hands on your hips, how you move, gesture, and make expressions can say as much as what comes out of your mouth.
By: Heather Hatfield
WebMD FeatureReviewed by Louise Chang, MDAngel Rose, 34, an assistant vice president at a bank in upstate New York, was interviewing candidates for a teller position, which required that a person have good people and communication skills, a professional presentation, and a strong focus on customer service, among other abilities.
One candidate in particular stood out, but not in a good way. While she could have been very intelligent, her nonverbal communication and body language were way off. Her handshake was more of a finger shake, her eye contact was nonexistent, and her slouched posture exuded insecurity. For Rose, what the candidate said didn't matter because her body language spoke volumes: she wasn't a good fit for the position.
"Most communication experts now believe that almost 90% of what we say comes from nonverbal cues, which includes our body language," says Patti Wood, author of Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language.
Body language, she explains, is everything from our facial expressions, to eye contact, to our gestures, stance, and posture. While the nuances of body language are complicated, there are some common body language signs worth a thousand words.
Body Language ABCs
Flipping your hair, shaking hands, making eye contact, and smiling are more than just movements -- they're a part of your nonverbal communication, adding emphasis and emotion.
"Body language represents a separate communication process beyond words," says Ross Buck, PhD, a professor of communication sciences and psychology at the University of Connecticut. "It exists simultaneously with language, but it is emotional and largely happening at the subconscious level."
What are some of the basic body language cues that we display and what kind of effect can they have on the impression we make on other people? Here's a beginner's guide to understanding what our bodies are saying:
Handshakes. A handshake can say so much more than hello, nice to meet you. "The most important part of a handshake is palm-to-palm contact," says Wood. "It's even more significant than the grip."
The palm-to-palm contact expresses an intention of honesty and openness, and that your interaction will be sincere and nonthreatening.
The "limp fish" handshake, Wood explains, seems so uncomfortable because it usually means that the palms don't touch, as Rose experienced in her interview.
Here are other handshake types:
Bone crusher: A person may be insecure and trying to overcompensate with an over-the-top hello.
Palm-down handshake: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from the top: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from underneath: A person may be trying to support and comfort you.
Synchrony. Synchrony happens when two people who are interacting mirror body language cues, explains Buck. What can it mean?
"Synchrony is a signal that both people are on the same page," says Buck. "When you see someone copying your body language, or you notice that you are copying his, it's a clue that you are probably sharing
a similar mind-set at the time."
Body Language Basics
From a flip of the hair to hands on your hips, how you move, gesture, and make expressions can say as much as what comes out of your mouth.(continued)
Body Language ABCs continued...
Posture. "Posture can be sign of dominance or submissiveness," says Buck.
Shoulders back with an erect posture can be a sign of dominance, he explains, while being slumped can mean insecurity, guilt, or a feeling of shame.
Eye contact. "While the rules of eye-contact engagement vary from culture to culture, in the U.S., it can mean honesty and forthrightness," says Buck.
The eyes are a powerful part of our body language cues and can express everything from sexual interest, to annoyance, to happiness and pain, he explains.
Playing with your hair. When a woman cups her hand, palm out, and tucks her hair behind her ear, it can be an expression of flirting, and can mean openness and interest, explains Wood. But be careful: It can also mean her hair is in her eyes.
Using Body Language to Your Advantage
"If you want to better manage your own body language, you need to think about every aspect of your day and how you behave," says Wood.
While you might think you are friendly person, if you go straight to your office and avoid eye contact with anyone, it can send the wrong signals to your co-workers, she explains.
Go through your morning routine -- what you do at lunch, how you spend your afternoon and evening -- and ask yourself questions like: Do I smile? Do I make appropriate eye contact with people? Once you better recognize your body language, you can start to manage it in a more meaningful way.
On the flip side, how can you use the body language of others to your advantage? Most important is to trust your gut.
"Body language says so much, that you can use it to gauge the sincerity of what a person is saying," says Wood.
If a person is telling you something, and he's covering his mouth, he might be lying, she explains. If a person's hands rub from his forehead down across his face, he could be wiping away an emotion, like stress or anxiety. Either way, if what a person is saying contradicts his body language, your intuition might be picking up on something that is not quite right.
Still, whether you are trying to manage your body language better, or understand that of others, remember the value of words.
"If you become too attentive to body language, instead of what you are saying or someone is saying to you, you miss out on the larger process of communication," says Buck.
Body Language Put to the Test
A basic understanding of body language, combined with verbal communication, can come in handy in almost every situation in your daily life. Here are some common scenarios in which body language can have a big impact, plus tips for putting your best foot forward while you watch what others around you are saying with their silent signs.
Body Language Basics
From a flip of the hair to hands on your hips, how you move, gesture, and make expressions can say as much as what comes out of your mouth.(continued)
Body Language Put to the Test continued...
First dates. First dates are laden with body language signs that can help you gauge whether or not a person is interested.
"Men tend to talk a lot on first dates when they're interested in a woman," says Wood. "If you're interested back, make eye contact and listen."
If either person isn't interested, and looks around the room and avoids eye contact, that's a sign that a second date isn't likely.
Other first-date tips?
"When men touch a woman on the small of her back to walk her through a door, that's a sign of confidence and interest," says Wood.
For women, it's the length of their touch that measures their interest. While short, less-than-a-second touches are appropriate, touches that are too long could convey an intimate meaning.
Job interviews. First and foremost, don't sit down while you wait for your interviewer to come and greet you; it puts you in an awkward position where you have to stand and gather yourself and your belongings in an odd sort of shuffle.
"Instead, stand and wait, or sit on the arm of a chair," says Wood. "And when your interviewer arrives, make eye contact, raise your eyebrows slightly in acknowledgement, smile, and then shake hands."
During the interview, she suggests you make eye contact when listening to show your interest, but don't stare. Sit up in your chair instead of slouching, and when you're done, leave strong by giving a good, palm-to-palm handshake.
Dinner with the in-laws. "One of the most important body language signs you should convey during your first encounter with your partner's parents is eye contact with your partner," says Wood.
Your partner's parents want to know that you are interested in and care for their child. The best way you can tell them that you are "the one" is to look at your partner with love and affection.
Showing posts with label Couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Couples. Show all posts
Couples and Sleep Positions
How do sleep positions offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What is so fascinating is that it can reveal things about the couple that people may not see if they watch the couple upright in the daytime. We are at our most vulnerable position in sleep. Woman you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. So how your body moves and joins shows your trust and connection. When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring that may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they may make you want to leave the room! Also, realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions and unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep.
When an individual sleeps in the fetal position on your side curled up it shows an innocence and trust. British research says that 51 percent of women and sleep in this position. If they hug the pillow, they need a lot of love and what does it say about a couple if they spoon so both are in the curled up position? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that, he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man, loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly in a way that constricts his movements and he is arching or pulling away, she is showing in sleep that she is fearful of losing him. In the cradled spoon both partners are on their sides and one partner will be cradled to the chest of the other. Typically, the woman’s head is cradled into the man’s chest with the man’s arms wrapped around the woman. Again showing protectiveness but with more emphasis on the women letting go of a need to be dominant. Some woman may start in this position but move up in sleep to show their need to be on an equal level with their partner. On the other hand, they just might need air! (Smile)
Comfortable spooning is his is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows sexuality and security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, I can turn my back on you and know I am safe, you have my back and the other partner is saying I want to surround you and take you in. Since the full torso is making contact, it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years typically 5 to 6 but if the couple is still close they will touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.
V Hug occurs when couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, the upper bodies, legs, and feet are apart but the rear ends touch. So each partner forms a V. As long as their buttocks touch, they are staying connected and showing that their sexual interest is still present. They are already a confident couple just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately way but not model a child’s need to hold on.
The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to gaze into each other’s eyes even in sleep. They face each other and touch the front of their bodies their feet their legs their knees torso chests even one partner may even cradle the others face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first make love. In addition, is also seen in couples who are not married. If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and they start facing you, it indicates their need to connect, and be more intimate.
The Royal Hug- In the position the man lies on his back facing up. If anyone takes this position it indicates confidence and self-assurance symbolically the person is facing life. When you sleep like that with your partner, you’re showing your power and dominance in the relationship. If the female partner rests her head on, his shoulder and faces him in a fetal position she is showing she depends on and lets him be in charge. If she is rests her head but stretches out her body she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well. If a woman head rests further down on the man’s chest rather than shoulder it shows she feels more comfortable with the man in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or the elbows out to the side in a cape, they are showing they think they are in charge. They are take charge enthusiastic and perhaps like to tell their partner The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position can be taken after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, can be a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but their angry so they don’t go to the old position but they signal they will still love each other in the morning by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control, the furthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So watch if your partner suddenly changes to that position. A partner who turns away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can be communicating a lack of trust in their partner. Watch to see if your children switch to that position as well. Research shows that when someone who always sleeps on their stomach with their arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown in the crab position it shows they persistent goal oriented compulsive and stubborn.
The Cliffhanger is when both couples are opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person needs a good night’s sleep and some external factor like snoring or menopausal night sweats make your partner an inferno or if it is a change from hug like sleep it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate from or a desire to have a king size bed.
Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separate and there is not physical reason like you, started snoring you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind or brings it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been what can we do to feel closer during the day so we feel comfortable being close at night?”
There are couples that our so interconnected that they go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleep away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.), sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side by side with someone. They can be defensive or closed when they sit across a table from you but get them lying side by side and they open up. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table they want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language men want the front of their bodies their heart windows protected when they share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about how women who are driving look at the passenger to speak and men who are driving always look forward. So too get a man to share get in on a long car trip or in bed.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
Here are my rough notes to a journalist from NEST magazine doing an article on sleep positions.
How do sleep positions of couples offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What does it say about a couple if they spoon? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly she is fearful of losing him. This is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows security in the relationship. Since full torso is making contact it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years.
Later couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, but as long as their buttocks touch they are staying connected and showing their sexual interest is still present.
Their our couples that go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleeps away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.) sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
What is so fascinating is that it can reveal things about the couple that people may not see if they watch the couple upright in the daytime. We are at our most vulnerable position in sleep. Woman you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. So how your body moves and joins shows your trust and connection. When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring that may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they may make you want to leave the room! Also, realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions and unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep.
When an individual sleeps in the fetal position on your side curled up it shows an innocence and trust. British research says that 51 percent of women and sleep in this position. If they hug the pillow, they need a lot of love and what does it say about a couple if they spoon so both are in the curled up position? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that, he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man, loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly in a way that constricts his movements and he is arching or pulling away, she is showing in sleep that she is fearful of losing him. In the cradled spoon both partners are on their sides and one partner will be cradled to the chest of the other. Typically, the woman’s head is cradled into the man’s chest with the man’s arms wrapped around the woman. Again showing protectiveness but with more emphasis on the women letting go of a need to be dominant. Some woman may start in this position but move up in sleep to show their need to be on an equal level with their partner. On the other hand, they just might need air! (Smile)
Comfortable spooning is his is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows sexuality and security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, I can turn my back on you and know I am safe, you have my back and the other partner is saying I want to surround you and take you in. Since the full torso is making contact, it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years typically 5 to 6 but if the couple is still close they will touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.
V Hug occurs when couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, the upper bodies, legs, and feet are apart but the rear ends touch. So each partner forms a V. As long as their buttocks touch, they are staying connected and showing that their sexual interest is still present. They are already a confident couple just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately way but not model a child’s need to hold on.
The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to gaze into each other’s eyes even in sleep. They face each other and touch the front of their bodies their feet their legs their knees torso chests even one partner may even cradle the others face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first make love. In addition, is also seen in couples who are not married. If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and they start facing you, it indicates their need to connect, and be more intimate.
The Royal Hug- In the position the man lies on his back facing up. If anyone takes this position it indicates confidence and self-assurance symbolically the person is facing life. When you sleep like that with your partner, you’re showing your power and dominance in the relationship. If the female partner rests her head on, his shoulder and faces him in a fetal position she is showing she depends on and lets him be in charge. If she is rests her head but stretches out her body she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well. If a woman head rests further down on the man’s chest rather than shoulder it shows she feels more comfortable with the man in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or the elbows out to the side in a cape, they are showing they think they are in charge. They are take charge enthusiastic and perhaps like to tell their partner The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position can be taken after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, can be a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but their angry so they don’t go to the old position but they signal they will still love each other in the morning by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control, the furthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So watch if your partner suddenly changes to that position. A partner who turns away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can be communicating a lack of trust in their partner. Watch to see if your children switch to that position as well. Research shows that when someone who always sleeps on their stomach with their arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown in the crab position it shows they persistent goal oriented compulsive and stubborn.
The Cliffhanger is when both couples are opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person needs a good night’s sleep and some external factor like snoring or menopausal night sweats make your partner an inferno or if it is a change from hug like sleep it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate from or a desire to have a king size bed.
Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separate and there is not physical reason like you, started snoring you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind or brings it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been what can we do to feel closer during the day so we feel comfortable being close at night?”
There are couples that our so interconnected that they go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleep away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.), sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side by side with someone. They can be defensive or closed when they sit across a table from you but get them lying side by side and they open up. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table they want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language men want the front of their bodies their heart windows protected when they share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about how women who are driving look at the passenger to speak and men who are driving always look forward. So too get a man to share get in on a long car trip or in bed.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
Here are my rough notes to a journalist from NEST magazine doing an article on sleep positions.
How do sleep positions of couples offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What does it say about a couple if they spoon? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly she is fearful of losing him. This is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows security in the relationship. Since full torso is making contact it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years.
Later couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, but as long as their buttocks touch they are staying connected and showing their sexual interest is still present.
Their our couples that go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleeps away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.) sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
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