A reporter for Sports Illustrated called me yesterday for a story on leadership in sports and body language. We had a great discussion about isopraxism, a pull towards the same behavior, that leaders create. He was interested to know that negative body language has a stronger pull that positive body language and that a quarter back or coach's nonverbal behavior can have a dramatic effect on the team. The story should be available at www.sportsillustrated.com next week.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Why Black Women May Smile Less and Get Angry Instead
Why Black Women May
Smile Less and Get Angry Instead
Patti, Christelyn Karazin here, the author of the book on
interracial and intercultural relationships you spoke with a while back. Can
you comment for, www.beyondblackwhite.com, regarding the issue of black women and why
many just don't smile. Here's an article for reference: > http://www.theroot.com/views/single-minded-black-girls-puberty from Helena Andrews,
author of Bitch Is the New Black.
Here are the rough notes from my response. Christenlyn.
Fascinating
- smiling is sign of
appeasement,
- people with lower status
smile more often to get what they want,
- Women smile more than men in
social settings.
- Men are often uncomfortable
when a women who typically smiles in not smiling. (I believe men who say,
"why aren't you smiling?' are concerned that a non-smiling women may
be angry or trying to assert power if she is not smiling. Each time I
taught my Women and Leadership workshops at the Wharton School of Business
I would ask how many men have said, "Why aren't you smiling," to
you and every woman would raise her hand.
Research also shows:
- High Status seemingly
"Powerful people" smile less, Male or Female
- Men with more testosterone
smile less and are quicker to respond with anger.
Here you have a fascinating and in some ways very sad, cultural
and racial switch. So a women says, "I can't smile if I want to be
powerful and accepted." to look tough and be accepted by my female peers
“I need to sneer, and look like a bitch."
An angry face does get a different response than an appeasing
smile. It can feel empowering. But at a great cost.
- A smile actually changes
your brain chemistry so you feel happier.
- The "facial feedback
loop" insures a smile is typically met with a smile from other
people.
- Women who smile are
typically seen as more friendly and more attractive
- Women who smile in the
yearbook photos are found to be happier 25 years later.
A sneer is a prickly protective armor. You won't be stomped on,
but you may keep people too far away to touch and hold you close. It may feel
like it empowers you. Tyler Perry gets laughs by showing angry bitchy sneering
non smiling women. The title character in the Stephan King movie Deloris
Clayborn says, "Sometimes being a bitch is all you have to hold on
to." sometimes the Black angry women in Tyler Perry's movies just
complain, but often the angry "bitch" is energized to powerful destructive
action. The iconic defiant sneer on the wife in the movie, "Waiting to
Exhale" comes to mind. She goes from a happy smiling wife to a sneering
ragging tiger getting mad enough at her unfaithful husband that she takes all
his clothes and goodies like his golf club and piles them on his Mercedes and
sets them on fire. The sneer on her face along with her defiant upraised chin
as she watches the flames climb seemed to say to Black Women, stop smiling and
taking it, get angry and start taking.
Smiling Research...Words Are Funnier If Sounding The Word Makes You Smile
Smiling
Research...Words Are Funnier If Sounding The Word Makes You Smile
Words Are Funnier If As You Say The Word
Your Mouth Forms A Smile.
Quacked humour
09 June 2007 by Ivan Berger, Fawood, New Jersey, US
Magazine issue 2607. Subscribe and save
Richard Wiseman's theory that "Quack" is funnier than "Moo" holds true for English speakers (12 May, p 46). But is it true for those whose languages assign the "k" sound to other animals' cries and not to ducks? Or are there no such languages? The only foreign duck sound I know is the French "quank", in which the "k" would probably have less effect, overshadowed by the preceding nasal sound.
From Kevin Whitesides
You suggest that the spoken hard "k" sound is likely to be funnier because of "facial feedback", for the reason that saying the "k" sound can supposedly make one mimic smiling. This is easily refuted. Try it yourself and you will very quickly recognize that your smiling face is the result of the vowel that precedes or follows the "k".
For example, contrast the facial expression of the word "quack" (as in the article) with the word "cook", which clearly does not create a smile when said. It is the hard "a" sound in "quack" that makes the smiling face. If there is indeed some reason that "k" is funnier than other sounds, it's not because it makes you look like you're smiling.
Also the people in the article were reading a joke, not being told the joke orally. So the facial aspect would not have come into play, unless the person was reading the joke aloud or at least mouthing it.
Arcata, California, US
The editor writes:
• Further personal experimentation suggests that it is the combination of "k" with certain vowel sounds that produces the strongest "forced smile". For example, "key" does so more than "be", "dee" or "fee", although "k" with some other vowels lacks the effect.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Talk So Anyone Will Listen!
Body language pro, Patti Wood, reveals for First For Women the telltale traits and communication secrets of four distinct personality types - and how best to get through to each one.
Check the link!
http://www.scribd.com/doc/37126602/Talk-So-Anyone-Will-Listen-First-For-Women
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