Techniques to Deal with a Celebrity Death

I am an expert in body language, and I speak on dealing with grief loss and trauma.

I remember the Day John Denver died I had an overwhelming urge to call my childhood friend Robin Wilkinson and share my grief with her. So I called her and we did, one of the best things you can do to deal with a celebrity death that affects you, we told each other stories about John and his music. We had so many memories! Times we had enjoyed listening to his songs together. Times we sang his songs in the car on the way to football games. Years that our friends at church gathered in a big circle and played Denver's songs on our guitars. I thanked Robin for giving me a John Denver album for a birthday present when I was recovering from getting my tonsils out. And she remembered I had played that album with her and cheered up immediately. It helped.

Here are 7 Techniques to Deal with a Celebrity Death that affects you. By Patti Wood. 

1. Find some of their "artistry" to relive and enjoy the pleasure of what made them special. Play their music, watch videos of their interviews, find their stand-up routines. Watch your favorite movie.

1. Share Stories about what you loved most about their talent and memories you have of enjoying them. Reach out to people in your life that you share memories attached to the celebrity's artistry. Sharing positive stories about someone softens your grief and honors them.

1. Write down in your journal or online in social media a positive memory or even more than one positive memory of their artistry. Writing is a great form of healing. It gets thoughts out of your body and releases them to the universe.

1. Be ok with your grief. It is ok to be sad. And even be sad and you think about different times in your life that have passed.

1. Reach out to that artist's community to share your condolences and memories.

1. If you're an artist of any kind, create some form of art to honor them. Paint a picture, write a song, a joke. 

1. If you want to move out of sadness, move your body. Do something to give yourself a physical release. Grief operates in the right hemisphere, the limbic brain so you can shift out of grief by moving. Take a brisk walk, turn on some music and sing or dance. Go hear live music. Get in the car and take a meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. You can breathe in slowly and deeply. Play with your pet. Bounce a ball.

 

 

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Five Steps to Deal with Negative Self-Talk and Conflict By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

 The Five Steps to Deal with Negative Self-Talk By Patti Wood

1. Tune in to your body.
2. Breathe and send yourself love
3. Use self-talk to see things differently.
4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.
5. Congratulate yourself.

Step 1. Tune in to your body.

When you're critical of yourself, you tune into the critical thinking brain in your neocortex. You want to release the critic, turn it off, and move to your emotional brain, where body language and feeling are processed. The first step is to be inside your body. Be aware of how criticism may negatively affect your body, then shift or change that aspect of your body language. Next, you want to be mindful of the physical signs of tension, so you can release them before they develop any further. Body signals indicate increasing negativity. Here’s what to do if you notice them: 

·        Tensing of muscles — move and let go and relax your body from the feet up.

·        Lowering your head — bring your head up. Let it lift as if a balloon holds it.

·        Your hands, arms, and legs are pulling in to make yourself smaller — bring your limbs out. Spread your feet apart. Get big.

·        A change in your breathing (perhaps your breath is shallower) — breathe deep.

·        A change in voice tone or volume. Notice if you are frozen in place or perhaps not talking at all or lowering the volume or the strength of your voice — shout or sing or yell out something positive.

 

Step 2. Take note of the message that you are sending yourself.

 

Realize you are in control. Say to yourself, "I am feeling negative about ____   right now. I choose not to let it get bigger, or I choose to let that thought go. Or I choose to change that thought. For example, imagine you have had a bad interaction and find yourself dwelling on a thought such as I let that coworker raise his voice and say horrible things to me. I'm not strong. You can say to yourself, "I chose not to say anything this time, but I will be prepared the next time someone treats me badly. I can say, ‘Please treat me with respect or I can ask for an apology. I might say to myself, "That coworker is not emotionally healthy, and I chose a safe non-engaging response to deal with them. Now I will let that interaction go so that unhealthy person does not take any more of my headspace and cause me any tension or stress.”
 

Step 3. Switch your negative message to positive self-talk to see things differently.

Learn to use a different kind of self-talk. The exact same situation will produce different emotions if you change your interpretation

Write out your negative message, then flip it and write the opposite positive message.
Write anything that you like about yourself and are proud of.

Examples:

·        Hey, I can deal with this.

·        I'm a creative person, and I may be stuck at this moment, but this moment will pass, and I will be in flow again.

·        I can stop this task for now and shift to something that brings me pleasure and confidence.

·        True, things aren't going how I planned, but being negative won't help.  What can I do right now to shift my thinking? How can I still get something good/fun out of this experience?

Step 4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.

Do something to give yourself a physical release. Again, critical talk comes from the left hemisphere, so do things that activate your right brain. Take a brisk walk, turn on some music, and sing or dance. Hear live music. Get in the car and take a meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. Breathe in slowly and deeply. Play with your pet. You can imagine you are at the beach or in a meadow or looking at a stream or mountain. Bounce a ball.

Step 5. Congratulate Yourself

Focus on any improvement of your abilities. One step at a time is okay and congratulate yourself. 

·        Hey, I did that well. I am really proud of myself! YES!

  

Interviewed several times a week by national media outlets for her expertise in nonverbal communication, Patti Wood is an Atlanta-based consultant, speaker, and author. And speaks to Fortune 500 companies and  associations on communication, including 

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.