How does body language effect the interaction at the Big Brother House?

Body Language at the Big Brother House.

How does body language effect the interaction at the Big Brother House?

Space invasion, proxemics Body Language Expert Patti Wood MA, CSP Author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.

WHY ARE WE SO UNCOMFORTABLE BEING CLOSE UP WITH STRANGERS?

In forced close distances, get intense at 2 feet.  When a stranger comes closer than two feet or less our bodies go into stranger danger stress response. You have heard of Flight Fight response, well when a stranger gets to close the limbic brain goes into a stress response and the brain releases cortisol. You may Freeze in place, Flee for safety, Fight, perhaps expand and get big to show don’t mess with me. (Arm’s length, our bodies go into a “Stanger Danger” stress response. You have heard of the flight fight response it’s more complex. Close strangers may make you want to freeze in place, flee, expand into fight response, faint or fade.) 

HOW CLOSE CAN WE GET TO ANOTHER PERSON? 

In Europe and North America our sense of self is external so we have a body bubble wall that extends out from our body 18 inches. 

THERE’S A CERTAIN DISTANCE WE ARE ALL GENERALLY COMFORTABLE WITH.

Intimate relationships 0 to 18 inches, for people we know but aren’t going to be kissing 2 feet is what is called personal distance. If we don’t know them and are confined we ideally want 4 feet or more (Think two arm lengths.) The interesting thing about the Big Brother house is it forces people into intimate distance space interactions_(0-18 inches) and social distance space one and a half to two feet) We normally would create a relationship then reduce the distance in this case the space requires us to reframe our relationships. It can make some people get belligerent and stay in attack and defend mode and others form close relationships very quickly.

WHY DO WE FEEL WE SHOLDN’T TALK TO STRANGERS IN CLOSE SPACES BUT SOMETIMES WE FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO?

Social proxemics typically when you have an intimate relationship think friend or family, both your primitive limbic brain and social rules say you can and should be physically close.  If you are forced to be close with a stranger you are battling the physical messages that say this is scary and the social etiquette that says, I should be nice, after all we close.

OVERALL: ANY GENERAL WORDS OF ADVICE OR TIPS TO MAKE CLOSE SPACES WITH STRANGERS LESS AWKWARD, AND MORE COMFORTABLE?

There is a tool I call, “establishing commonality” so you’re in the situation together. So say to them simple things you have in common like the weather outside, the temperature, the background music, so you feel a connection that makes you like each other. Yes there is a reason we talk about the weather finding out something you have in common with a stranger reduces your stress, it makes you feel like you are from the same tribe that you are in it together. By the way, you may establish commonality with some members in the house by forming an alliance against someone else!

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Space Invasion, When People Get too Close

I’m about to speak to a group of CEOs in Florida.  I notice that two of the group members are standing side-to-side, feet in a guy relaxed stance talking together laughing and eating bagels. Another CEO, the only guy in the meeting wearing a tie approaches them.  Their entire bodies change and turn to face the Tie guy each enlarging their bodies and moving their feet far apart.  In a brief minute they are exchanging thousands of cues.  It is clear to me these guys aren’t going to share the bagels or anything else with Tie guy but Tie guy doesn’t pick up on the cues.  Research shows that in just one minute you can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues.

–        This example specifically was Proxemics- how people use and perceive space.  Adults typically have more control of their face and upper bodies but the feet are under less conscious control.

–        The broader your stance typically the more powerful you feel or want to feel. There’s physics to it!  The more space you take up the less of a push over you are as well as the message of power you send to others.

–        So note, our feet communicate exactly what we think and feel more honestly than other parts of our bodies. (Morris, 1985, 244) Generally, people are focused on controlling their facial expressions, torsos and upper body while communicating.  The feet are vital to us responding to danger and stress and we need them to freeze, flee, fight, or fall.

–        When you’re monitoring yourself check out your feet how you feel about yourself the topic or situation and the other person or people you are with.

–        The CEOs eating bagels in the story changed their stances from relaxed to what I call a Toe Stop position. A position people, mainly men, take when they are standing side-by-side with their buddies in agreement, talking to equals and relaxed. When Tie guy approached they went into what I call lock and load position. True Grit ready to go for their guns. It is an alpha/ready to attack or defend stance.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.