Why Do We Avoid Eye Contact In Elevators?

Why do we avoid eye contact in elevators?  We are often in an intimate space less that 16 inches from strangers, and that zone is typically reserved for people we are very close to or are kissing, eye contact can also be a signal of intimacy. So, when we are in an intimate space with strangers we can't control we create equilibrium by avoiding eye contact. This is part of what is called Equilibrium Theory. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Face Lift of Attraction - Why We Can Look More Youthful When We Are Highly Attracted to Someone

The Face Lift of Attraction

When you are highly attracted to someone it can change your body chemistry.  It can increase your muscle tone, so for example the “bagging" around the eyes and the face decrease, making you appear more youthful. 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Our View of Ourselves Effects the Length of Eye Contact We Feel Comfortable With

Normal eye contact is 3.2 seconds. Our view of ourselves effects the length of eye contact we feel comfortable with. Research shows that more comfortable and warm we feel about ourselves the longer we like making eye contact. Goodness! that explains why I enjoy mutual gaze so much! I like the emotional intimacy of extended eye contact with people I like and trust.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Blinking - If Someone Likes What They See, Their Pupil Size Increases and So Does Their Blink Rate

Someone's blink rate can show that they are excited, interested in you or attracted to you.
You may know from my Deception Detection Programs that increased blink rate can be an indication of anxiety and if it suddenly increases in responses to particular questions, like, "Did you steal that?" it may indicate deceit. But, you may not know that increased blink rate just like an increase in pupil size can indicate interest and attraction.

Here is something in the newest research on blinking. You see if someone likes you and is interested in you by doing a blinking test. Try for just for a moment to see if you can use matching and mirroring to increase the blink rate of the person you're talking to by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

We Look at Different Parts of the Body When We Gaze to Show Our Different Interest and Relationships. Triangle Gaze

We Look at Different Parts of the Body When We Gaze to Show Our Different Interest and Relationships. Triangle Gaze.

Upper Triangle Gaze - In formal interactions we focus our gaze in the upper triangle of the eyes and the bridge of the nose, zig zagging our eye contact between the eyes.We can show power by focusing on the upper triangle and extending the gaze length.

Upper and Middle Triangle Gaze - With friends we expand our gaze from just the eyes and upper bridge of the nose to go down and include the whole nose and the mouth

Middle Triangle Gaze - A signal of shyness, or lack of interest occurs when our gaze drops down to just the nose and mouth.

Full Body Gaze - Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth. If someone is looking into your eyes and lingering on the mouth as well it can be very seductive. It could be that they're imagining what it would be like to kiss you.

Why Do We Widen Our Eyes in Fear and Surprise and Narrow Our Eyes in Anger and Disgust?

Why do we widen and narrow our eyes when we feel different emotions?

Eye widening vs. Eye narrowing

Eye widening - Fear and Surprise - The eye widening increases light and sensitivity, expands our field of vision and we see more of what we like or what is threatening.

Eye narrowing - Anger and Disgust - The eye narrowing squint reduces light and sharpens our focus on the source of our displeasure.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Who Makes More Eye Contact The Listener or the Speaker?

Who makes more eye contact the listener or the speaker? 

The listener does and should make the most eye contact in a regular conversation. The speaker actually breaks eye contact to signal they are beginning to speak and the listener makes the most eye contact to signal he is listening. 

Researchers postulate (such a fun word) that the higher cognitive load necessary for thinking of what to say and how to say it requires that the speaker break eye contact and  "rest" from the load it takes to make continuous eye contact.

Other research suggest that eye accessing cues used to access certain kinds of information in the brain take priority over looking at the listener. In my programs I recommend that if you want to be a good listener maintain eye contact 70 percent of the time.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.