Body
Language at the Big Brother House.
How does body language effect the interaction at the Big Brother House?
Space invasion,
proxemics Body Language Expert Patti Wood MA, CSP Author of SNAP Making the
Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.
WHY ARE WE SO
UNCOMFORTABLE BEING CLOSE UP WITH STRANGERS?
In forced close distances, get intense at 2
feet. When a stranger comes closer than
two feet or less our bodies go into stranger danger stress response. You have
heard of Flight Fight response, well when a stranger gets to close the limbic
brain goes into a stress response and the brain releases cortisol. You may Freeze
in place, Flee for safety, Fight, perhaps expand and get big to show don’t mess
with me. (Arm’s length, our
bodies go into a “Stanger Danger” stress response. You have heard of the flight
fight response it’s more complex. Close strangers may make you want to freeze
in place, flee, expand into fight response, faint or fade.)
HOW CLOSE CAN WE GET TO
ANOTHER PERSON?
In Europe and North America our sense of self
is external so we have a body bubble wall that extends out from our body 18
inches.
THERE’S A CERTAIN DISTANCE
WE ARE ALL GENERALLY COMFORTABLE WITH.
Intimate relationships
0 to 18 inches, for people we know but aren’t going to be kissing 2 feet is what is called personal distance. If we don’t know them and are confined we ideally
want 4 feet or more (Think two arm lengths.) The interesting thing about the
Big Brother house is it forces people into intimate distance space
interactions_(0-18 inches) and social distance space one and a half to two
feet) We normally would create a relationship then reduce the distance in this
case the space requires us to reframe our relationships. It can make some
people get belligerent and stay in attack and defend mode and others form close
relationships very quickly.
WHY DO WE FEEL WE SHOLDN’T
TALK TO STRANGERS IN CLOSE SPACES BUT SOMETIMES WE FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO?
Social proxemics typically
when you have an intimate relationship think friend or family, both your
primitive limbic brain and social rules say you can and should be physically
close. If you are forced to be
close with a stranger you are battling the physical messages that say this is
scary and the social etiquette that says, I should be nice, after all we close.
OVERALL: ANY GENERAL WORDS OF ADVICE OR
TIPS TO MAKE CLOSE SPACES WITH STRANGERS LESS AWKWARD, AND MORE COMFORTABLE?
There is a tool I
call, “establishing commonality” so you’re in the situation together. So say to
them simple things you have in common like the weather outside, the
temperature, the background music, so you feel a connection that makes you like
each other. Yes there is a reason we talk about the weather finding out
something you have in common with a stranger reduces your stress, it makes you feel like you are from the same tribe
that you are in it together. By the way, you may establish commonality with
some members in the house by forming an alliance against someone else!
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
