Five Mistake People Make When It Comes to Their Love Lives?
I did this piece for the media quite awhile ago and thought I would post it here.
1.
Falling in LUST and first sight Lust at first
sight is obvious. You are so physically attracted that it blinds you to what
the person’s True personality or even an accurate read of the two critical
first impression factors credibly likeability. Hormones are powerful.
2.
DANGER at first sight. DANGER at first site is very interesting as
it is a misread of our physiological responses to danger. When we see someone
dangerous the limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint
Response. We might misread the heart racing, breathless physical state and
think this is so intense this must be love, when it may really be the central
nervous system's response to someone very scary. So don’t date that guy or gal
run for the hills.
3.
Love ideal projection- Falling for the” idea” of
a person rather than the real person. You need to see what is there rather than
what is being faked. There are so many cues given off in the first fifteen
minutes of a conversation that are tells to the real person. From overly
aggressive forward motions and ignoring your cues to closed heart and palm of
hand windows and more.
4.
Frozen with fear –Fear can keep you from getting
out and meeting people or going online to meet people. You may be afraid to get out there and date, because you afraid.
Perhaps, you are concerned about making bad choices, being rejected, or getting
terribly hurt. If you are already are
dating or in a relationship, you may
be frozen with fear when you are afraid or in pain. That frozen behavior can
prevent you from saying out loud what you are feeling and prevent you from
thinking about or sharing what you need, want and would like. If you stay
frozen and don’t talk to your partner they may not know anything is wrong. In
fact, they may just pick up on the fact that you seem tense or uncomfortable
around them. So your partner may repeat the very behavior that you don’t like
and make you more upset! Saying out loud what you don’t like and what you DO
like, what make you uncomfortable and what makes you happy can be healthy. Make
sure that your requests are healthy reasonable requests and are worded in a positive
manner. (Example, I get worried that something is wrong when you run over 20 minutes
late, could you please give a quick call if you are stuff in traffic so I know
you are ok? “I love it when you text me funny things in the middle of the day.” If your freeze in place and don’t communicate
the relationship can freeze and die. There are so many people frozen in bad
relationships.
5.
Faking it – Pretending you love someone.
Pretending you are happy. Pretending you are someone you are not. First of all that pretending is a heck of a lot of work and a lots of
heartache for all involved.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
