What Your Sleep Position Says About Your Relationship
I did an interview with Cosmopolitan on peoples' sleep positions. Below is the article and also the actual link to the article. At the link below you can see a picture of the couples in each position mentioned in the article.
Article on sleep positions as it appeared in Cosmopolitan:
Because your subconscious mind controls the way you sleep with
your partner, sleep body language can be an amazingly accurate way to assess
what's going on in your relationship — even if you can't or don't articulate
those things while you're awake, says Patti Wood, a body language expert with more
than 30 years of experience and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language.
Of course, there are always exceptions — if you are and always
have been a sleep kicker, you can't blame your partner for sleeping far away
from you. But when your or your partner's sleep position suddenly changes, use
these clues to decode what it means:
You're the little spoon.
In this position, your partner envelops you in a way
that feels simultaneously intimate and secure. Because it involves some
serious butt-to-penis contact, "it's a very vulnerable position that's
sexual, but says, 'I trust you,'" Wood says
You're the big spoon.
This says you're protective of your partner and maybe even a bit
possessive.
You spoon a few inches apart.
New couples tend to have the most physical contact in bed, but
when the novelty of bed-sharing wears off, it's common to revert to the positions
that make you feel most comfortable and produce the best quality sleep, says Paul
Rosenblatt, author of Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing.
Sometimes, that means spooning a few inches apart. It's like the big spoon saying,
"I've got your back, you can count on me," but it's not as sexual as spooning
closer, Woods says.
Your partner cradles your head on his chest.
A face-up sleeping position indicates confidence and self-assurance.
When your partner sleeps on his back with your head in his arms, it says, "I
have the power and I'm using it to protect you," Wood says. When you,
in turn, face your partner in a fetal position, it shows you depend on him. If you sleep with your head on his
chest and the rest of your body sprawled out, it sends the message that you want to make
decisions for yourself, Wood says.
You face each other.
When you sleep face-to-face, it's an unconscious attempt to look
your partner in the eye throughout the night. If your partner suddenly starts facing
you, there's a good chance he feels distant and wants to connect, or is hungry for
more intimacy — especially if he presses his pelvis against yours.
You sleep on your stomachs.
Because sleeping on your stomach protects the front of your
body, the position could be a sign of anxiety, vulnerability, and lack of sexual trust,
Wood says. Unless there are back or neck issues, people tend to face the bed because
they don't want to or are afraid to face their emotions, Wood says. If your partner
suddenly starts sleeping face down, you can cozy up to make him feel more protected.
You sleep on opposite sides of the bed.
This says you're independent or have a desire to be more
separate. If you're typically snuggly sleepers though, this position could be a red flag that
something isn't right, whether that means stress at work or an untold secret. That
said, many people start out snuggling to warm up or show affection, then gravitate
toward opposite sides of the bed for a random reason — it could be because your
partner has sharp toenails, kicks in his sleep, or moves around too much, or
because you get hot when you sleep skin to skin, Rosenblatt says. Also worth
noting: Some couples actually get along better when they stop trying so hard to
snuggle all night — probably because it can enable you to sleep more soundly and
without interruption, which improves your interactions the next day. If you don't like
to touch while you sleep, schedule 15 minutes in the morning or at night to
snuggle up and in turn strengthen your relationship, suggests Wood.
You sleep facing away from each other with your butts touching.
This position suggests you're a confident couple that
appreciates your own space: The facing away from each other hints at the ability and desire to
be independent, while the butt touch shows you still want to stay sexually connected,
Wood says. For what it's worth, lots of people prefer to sleep facing
the outside of the bed to avoid breathing face-to-face, Rosenblatt says. So this position could
mean you're sick and tired of your partner's snoring (not your partner
himself).
You sleep with nothing touching but your feet or legs.
Being far from the brain and the first part of your body to
react in the case of a freeze, flight, fight, friend response, the feet are the most honest portion of the
body, under the least conscious control, Wood says. If your partner plays footsie with
you in bed, it means he craves an emotional or sexual connection.
You sleep with your legs and arms totally entwined.
When you sleep with arms and legs tangled, it's a sign that you
can't get enough of each other — even while you sleep. "It means your lives are
intertwined, that you function as a pair. You probably finish each other's sentences and take care
of each other," Wood says.
You sleep at different distances from the headboard.
People who sleep closer to the headboard tend to feel more
dominant and confident, while those who place their heads further away from it could be
more subservient and have lower self-esteem, Wood says. Couples who sleep with their
heads at the same level are on the same page. Heads that touch are even better:
It's a sign that you have lower self-esteem, Wood says. Couples who sleep with their
heads at the same like minds and know what's going on in each other's heads, Wood
says.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
