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Rules and Tips for a Proper Apology, How Can you tell a true apology from a fake one?

Apology Statements

I analyze apology statements for the media. The Jules Woodson assault by her minister and his false apology about his horrible attack to his congregation.

This was not a true apology. A true apology is given to the person that you abused, that’s it!
You must seek forgiveness, from the person you hurt not to group your afraid of loosing!!
In a true apology you do not make excuses and you certainly don’t blame the victim as he does in his “speech” and you darn sure don’t act like a little boy victim. You also promise to work on yourself and never abuse anyone again. And if you have done something horrible you pay a price for your transgression. He didn’t pay the correct price he was only embarrassed for the length of the speech.

So what do we do? How do we do the right thing in our lives? It’s not just about noticing bad behavior, I like to follow a negative thing that’s happened with a positive action so we can create a wave of decency and make the world better through our actions. So we need to think about anyone we hurt in any way and give a proper apology. I am starting with myself so I am thinking of what I need to do better.
In addition, if someone admitted hurting someone else to you and didn’t apologize and seek forgiveness from the person they hurt, and you say, “ I forgive you for hurting Sally” you become a part to their crime. You have relived them of their burden of guilt without them doing the hard thing, the right thing. It makes you feel good but it’s an ethical mistake, That’s the big mistake the congregation made. I’m sure the congregation felt good about themselves. They said we are so forgiving! But they were only doing something that made them feel good about themselves. When they gave him a standing ovation they took away his guilt. They gave their forgiveness that he did NOT earn at the cost of his victims pain. It may seem righteous but it’s just wrong.
I have a chapter in my new book on how to give a proper apology! Can’t wait to finish it!

I Was Assaulted. He Was Applauded.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at